Monday, July 23, 2012

Fixing Sean Hannity's Sickening Interview With Murderer George Zimmerman.

Transcript of Sean Hannity's Interview with Murderer George Zimmerman from FOX website with questiuons Hannity should have asked inserted by me:

HANNITY: A lot of time has passed since this incident with Trayvon. How do you feel about it now that you have had some time to reflect on what has happened?
GEORGE ZIMMERMAN: I haven't really had the time to reflect on it.

ME: You haven't had time? You killed someone. How can you think about anything else? What could possibly be keeping you so busy that you haven't had time to reflect on the signature event of your life thus far?

GEORGE ZIMMERMAN: I haven't really had the time to reflect on it. When I was in jail, obviously I was in solitary confinement and I had a lot of time to think and reflect.

ME: so, we're one question in and already you've lied? Because you just said that you hadn't had time to reflect. That was ONE FUCKING SENTENCE AGO!

GEORGE ZIMMERMAN: I haven't really had the time to reflect on it. When I was in jail, obviously I was in solitary confinement and I had a lot of time to think and reflect. I just think it's a tragic situation, and I hope it's the most difficult thing I'll ever go through in my life.

ME: Oh, yeah. I sure would hope that YOU never have to go through anything this difficult again. This must be really tough for YOU. I mean, sure Trayvon's mother and father and his friends and his girlfriend, they're probably going through some tough times right now, but YOU - YOU are obviously having a real difficult time.

HANNITY: Let's start at the beginning.

ZIMMERMAN: I was going to Target to do my weekly grocery shopping. Sunday nights was the only nights -- well, Sunday after we mentored the kids, we would always go grocery shopping

ME: Stop! Stop right there. No one cares if you were mentoring kids. You don't get to weigh the kids you've supposedly helped against the one you murdered and think that you can deduct that from your guilt. Also, who the fuck does their grocery shopping at Target? Who does that?  What, do you live on Froot Loops and Pepsi?

HANNITY: We all have heard the 911 call. On that 911 call, you had mentioned that there had been a number of break-ins in the neighborhood.
ZIMMERMAN: Yes, sir.
HANNITY: Why were you a community watch person? How long were you involved in that and why did you become a community watch person?

ME: Sorry to interrupt, Sean, but George Zimmerman was NOT a community watch person. He never joined any community watch group. Community watch persons do not carry guns. Vigilantes do, but not community watch persons. One does not get to just declare oneself a community watch person. It's not like calling yourself a "journalist."

ZIMMERMAN: In August of 2011, there was a home invasion. A young lady was home with her nine-month-old baby, and they broke into her sliding glass door. She barricaded herself in the upstairs bedroom. And my wife was home by herself, and she saw the people that burglarized her run through our backyard with their belongings. And even though my wife wasn't certain what happened, that was enough to scare her and shake her up. And I promised her I would do what I could to keep her safe.

ME: wouldn't a better way to keep her safe be to stay home with her? Or give her the gun when you go out? Running around the neighborhood playing cops and robbers seems like a terribly inefficient way of keeping your wife safe. While you're out shooting unaremd teenagers, who knows how many criminals could be breaking in to your house where your poor wife sits alone and gunless?

HANNITY: Now, your gun was legal. You had a legal weapon in the state of Florida.
ZIMMERMAN: Yes, sir.

ME: Is there such a thing as a not-legal weapon in the state of Florida?

HANNITY: Why did you feel the need to carry a gun? A lot of people maybe have a weapon inside their home, but you decided to carry yours. Why did you think it was necessary to have a weapon with you? And did you carry it at all times?
ZIMMERMAN: I carried it at all times except for when I went to work.

ME: Sorry, that's not even close to an answer. The question was "why carry the gun?" Your answer can't be "I carry it a lot." I'm sure Sean will want to ask you a follow-up question. . . . No? Really? 

HANNITY: A lot of this case legally -- and we are going to get to Mark in a few minutes here and ask him about a lot of legal aspects, because there are so many of them in this case -- has to do with stand your ground. You have heard a lot about it. And I was just curious, prior to this night, this incident, had you even heard stand your ground?
HANNITY: You have never heard about it before?

ME: Oh, come on! Seriously? You'd never heard of stand your ground? I live in Georgia and I've heard about it. I don't own a gun and I've heard about it. You're telling me that a gun-nut in Florida doesn't know about Florida's gun-nut law? 
HANNITY: Well. Now, on -- it was very interesting, in the 911 call that everybody has heard, you said that all of a sudden you found somebody who looked suspicious, he may be on drugs. That was one of the earlier comments that you made in that 911 call. What made you think he was suspicious, and what made you think that he might be on drugs?
ZIMMERMAN: I felt he was suspicious because it was raining.

ME: Raining? Is that slang for black?

ZIMMERMAN: I felt he was suspicious because it was raining. He was in-between houses, cutting in-between houses, and he was walking very leisurely for the weather. 
ME: Yeah, it was raining. Hence the "hoodie."
ZIMMERMAN: I felt he was suspicious because it was raining. He was in-between houses, cutting in-between houses, and he was walking very leisurely for the weather. I -- it didn't look like he was a resident that went to check their mail and got caught in the rain and was hurrying back home. He didn't look like a fitness fanatic that would train in the rain

ME: So, it was his gait? He wasn't walking fast enough for your liking so you figured he was on drugs? And how is he walking leisurely and also cutting in between houses. Cutting in-between houses sounds to me like he was in a hurry to get home.
HANNITY: Yes. You said he started from almost the beginning in that 911 call, you said he came towards you, and he seemed to reach for something in his waistband. Did you think that was a gun?
ZIMMERMAN: I thought he was just trying to intimidate me.

ME: You said in the 911 call that you were going to follow him and that these guys "always get away." How could you follow him if he was coming towards you? And if he was coming towards you, why would you be concerned about him getting away? 

HANNITY: You said in that tape something's wrong with him, he's checking me out. I don't know what his deal was. So it's almost from the very beginning you felt -- are you saying on that 911 tape that you felt threatened at that moment when you said that to the dispatch?
ZIMMERMAN: No, not particularly.

ME: Of course he didn't feel threatened, Sean you moron. He was the one with the gun! And if he had felt threatened, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't have decided to follow the kid. 
Have you actually read the 911 transcript? Because I just Googled it, and right after he says  "I don't know what his deal is," he says
He’s running. [2:08]
911 dispatcher:
He’s running? Which way is he running?
Down toward the other entrance of the neighborhood. [2:14]

So how could Zimmerman possibly feel threatened by someone who is running away from him?

HANNITY: You said he's running.
ZIMMERMAN: Yes. He was like skipping, going away quickly. But he wasn't running out of fea
ME: Skipping? He was skipping? Isn't skipping like the least threatening thing a person could do? Isn't skipping usually the province of little girls with pigtails? Can you at least make up your mind whether he was a big scary thug or someone who skips away in the rain?

Call 911!

HANNITY: . . . Let me ask you this. At that point, we can hear the unbuckling of the seatbelt, hear you opening the car door, and this dispatch asked you at that point. . . "are you following him?" And you said yes. Explain that.
ZIMMERMAN: I meant that I was going in the same direction as him

ME: Oh my God, we know what "following" means! Even Hannity knows what the word "following" neans! I think he's asking you to explain WHY you were following Trayvon Martin!


Aaaanyway, the interview continues in this vein for a while with Hannity not playing the role of the interviewer so much as the role of the sleazy Law & Order defense attorney prepping his client for testimony. 
Then comes the most shocking part of the interview:

HANNITY: Is there anything you regret? Do you regret getting out of the car to follow Trayvon that night?
HANNITY: Do you regret that you had a gun that night?

ME: WHAT? How the Hell can you not regret anything? You killed another human being! Even if you really really feel like you were justified in killing an unarmed teenager who wasn't doing anything wrong, how does having killed him not haunt you? What kind of a monster are you?

HANNITY: Do you feel you wouldn't be here for this interview if you didn't have that gun?

ME: Then you're lying! Because you've been claiming that the only thing that stopped this skinny kid, whom you outweigh by about 50 lbs, from repeatedly bashing your head against the pavement was you shooting him. If that's not alie, then then you would definitely not be here without the gun. So you're either lying about what happened (duh!) or you're just a goddamm idiot! Look, Sean's even going to try to help you:

HANNITY: Do you feel you wouldn't be here for this interview if you didn't have that gun?
HANNITY: You feel you would not be here?
ZIMMERMAN: I feel it was all God's plan and for me to second guess it or judge it --

ME: God's plan?!?! God's plan was for you to shoot some kid dead for no good reason? How could that be God's plan? I'm glad I'm not there in the studio, because There's gonna be some lightning headed your way. Or at least a defamation suit.

Hey, where am I going to find a Lawyer?

Anyway, to sum up: Zimmerman is a murderer who shows absolutely zero remorse, Sean Hannity is fuck-awful at his job and at being a human being, and if all else fails, blame God!

I'm kidding, I'm kidding!

Funny Woman of the Day -- Suzanne Weber

Suzanne Weber wrote the book
To What Miserable Wretches Have I Been Born?
  Revenge Poetry for Babies and Toddlers

upon which I happened to stumble while killing time at Barnes & Noble.

She has probably written other funny things, but either way, this book alone qualifies her to be today's Funny Woman of the Day. Here's an example:

Iʼm Not Okay

When I bonk myself really, really hard
on the edge of the coffee table…
When I fall down ʻcause Iʼm just learning to walk
and Iʼm still not that steady on my feet…
When I slip off the swing ʻcause you were checking your iPhone
and not watching me as carefully as you should have…
Guess what?
That shit hurts!!
Youʼve got to know it does.
So why is your first reaction always,
“Youʼre okay! Youʼre okay!”?
Do you honestly think youʼre gonna trick me into thinking I didnʼt just
get an enormous goose egg on my forehead?
Or that my knee isnʼt gonna bleed like a mother-fucker?
Or that the bruise on my elbow is just a smudge of dirt?
When was the last time you smacked a vulnerable part of your
anatomy against a hard unforgiving object?
It HURT, right?
Now imagine everyone around you just dismissing your pain
with an idle wave of the hand and a pat on the head and an
“Oh, youʼre okay.”
And, even though you actually felt the lump rising on your head and
in your throat, you had to smile gamely through your discomfort,
because you could see that everyone was just so invested in
your not crying or making a fuss?
If you understand a fraction of what Iʼm trying to tell you,
then you understand that “okay” is exactly what I am not.
I wouldn't say no to a lollipop.
Copyright © 2012 by Suzanne Weber. Excerpted from "To What Miserable Wretches Have I Been Born? Revenge Poetry For Babies And Toddlers," by Suzanne Weber. Published by Atria Books.