Friday, July 30, 2010

Huckabee Ups The Ante on Glenn Beck

Hey Beck, you think you sound nutty with your conspiracy theories about fascism and Black Panthers and the Weather Underground and Homer Simpson? (seriously, Homer Simpson)

Well Mike Huckabee will see your Obama-is-bringing-socialism, and raise you an Obama-is-bringing-on-the-end-of-the-world.

Lat Sunday, Huckabee had as a guest the super-creepy Apocalypse-porn author and Kirk Cameron sugar daddy Tim Lahaye to discuss, I don't know, something crazy no doubt.

Yes, Tim. I believe the signs of the impending apocalypse are plagues, earthquakes, false prophets, and a bailout of US automakers. Then the four horsemen, War, Famine, Death and Healthcare reform will ride in and do something not at all positive, and then the sun goes out, the stars fall from the sky, and Banking regulations will be proposed.

What the hell? Even if this whole "Raw Socialism" were actually happening, what does that have to do with doomsday? When is socialism ever mentioned in any part of the Bible ever?

And how did Jimmy Carter get dragged into this?

Oh, wait, I do seem to remember that apocalypse during the Carter Administration. . .

Oh, and by the way, Tim, you probably already know this, but for as long as there have been Christians, some of them have always thought that they were living in the "End Times" or the "Last days." Saint Paul thought that 2,000 years ago. And I'm pretty sure he was wrong. And every other person who has ever said that his times were the "end Times" was wrong. So it's a pretty good bet that you're wrong, too. Also, you're creepy and weird. Please go away.

Cheap Patriotism

Today, I saw a van from this company:


The People's Choice for all your Plumbing & Electrical Needs

parked outside the local Home Depot.

It looked a lot like this van:

painted up with flags and bald eagles and "In God We Trust," and whatnot.

I would not hire this plumber/electrician service just because of this cheap tawdry display of superficial patriotism.

I'm not convinced that sincere, genuine patriotism isn't a vice itself, but I probably shouldn't open that can of worms.

The thing is, why would I want to hire a plumber based on his claims not to do the best quality work, or have the lowest prices, or most convenient availability, but because he loves America! And he trusts in God! who looks for that in a plumber? If Traitor McBlasphemy can get your toilet working better than Reverend Unclesammington, wouldn't you go with whoever does the best job?

It's so pathetic that a company would resort to cheap emotional manipulation to drum up business. It seems to me that if you're using the symbols of your nation to make a couple of bucks installing faucets, maybe you're not really all that patriotic anyway.

Just like all those businesses that work the Jesus-fish into their logo or promotional materials.

It's like they love Jesus so much, that they'll reduce him to the status of a company mascot.

And I guess they figure that people will see the fish and think "Now, that's the company I want to give my business to, because they seem to share my religious convictions."

It's tacky. And if you believe that Jesus sacrificed his life to save the world from eternal damnation, you think you'd be a bit more respectful.