Friday, November 11, 2011

Several Credible Dreams

Some Looney-tunes minister named Dutch Sheets wants to warn everyone about future terrorist attacks!

Dutch Sheets: Watchman Alert – Call to Prayer
I'm writing to make you aware of several warnings I've received recently concerning terrorist attacks against America, and to ask you to join me in praying for protection from these attacks. 

That's a bit odd, because terrorists usualyy don't give any warning before they strike, that's kind of their signature m.o. , but let's hear him out.

Within the last few months I have had several credible dreams presented to me about this, five of which have been within the last week. [italics in original]

I'm sorry, did you say dreams?
Like the crazy things your brain makes up when you sleep? Those kind of dreams?

While warnings such as these are subjective in nature, and dreams always need careful discernment and interpretation, I feel that the dramatic and sudden increase of these warnings merits this call to prayer.

Yeah, I would go back and do the "careful discernment" part again. I think you did it wrong.

I don't feel it is necessary to give details from the dreams – suffice it to say that the attacks seen were worse than 9/11. For some time many of us have felt that more terrorism was possible for America. . . This is what the recent dreams warn of, and the sense is that it could be imminent.

I should also warn  members of my congregation, he did not add, that my dreams have been telling me that one Sunday very soon, I will be in the middle of a sermon and look down and realize that I have forgotten to put on any clothing. I apologize in advance for this disturbing sight. Also, I may soon have to resign as your pastor, since my dreams have indicated that there is a good possibility that I may have missed the final exams my senior year at divinity school and may have to re-take them all without having a chance to study.

now if you'll excuse me, I have just been elected king of the wild things, and I mustn't neglect my duties!