Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Anthony Weiner Can Never be President

I hear that Anthony Weiner is re-entering politics.  we here at the Chaos Compound wish him well. There is a limit to how succesful he can possibly be in American politics, however. No matter how successful he may be, he, through no fault of his own, can never be president because of his name. 
President Weiner?Never gonna happen. 
Air Force 1?

Here are a few more political figure that can never be President due solely to unfortunate names. Rhode Island Senator Sheldon Whitehouse can never be president because it would be too confusing. Idaho Congressman Raul Labrador can never be president because his name sounds like a dog. And Idaho Governor Butch Otter can never be President because "President Otter" would just be too adorable! 
Maybe Surgeon General? California Congressman Adam Schiff can never be president because he's be too busy yelling at Sam Waterston 
Chung Chung! Michigan Congressman John Dingell can never be president because that would just be silly. President Dingell! Alabama Congressman Jo Bonner can never be President because Bonner is too close to "Boner." Also, "Jo" is a woman's name. The male version is "Joe."

 File:Jeff Flake, official portrait, 113th Congress.jpg Arizona Senator Jeff Flake can never be President for obvious reasons.

File:John Boozman, official portrait, 112th Congress.jpg Same goes for Arkansas Senator John Boozman. And it goes without saying that if your name contains the word "crap," you should abandon any presidential aspirations you may have. Honestly, it's a miracle this guy made it to Senator! Former Florida Governor Jeb Bush can never be president because he shares the same last name as the worst president in our history. Not his fault, but them's the breaks!