Thursday, January 2, 2014

Conservative Hero of the Day

Eric Smith (Not his real name) is a student at a large Midwestern college. One sunny day he was minding his own business, hanging out on the quad when he casually shouted "FAG!" at a fellow student.

Suddenly, and without warning Eric was attacked by people he had thought were his friends, who began to shout "dude, not cool" and "don't be an asshole" at him. Silently praying for strength, Eric stood up to the pc police and their gestapo tactics. "No!" he shouted. "You will not take away my Constitutional right to free speech! I will not be persecuted for my religious beliefs!"

Just when he thought he had overcome their prejudice, one of his classmates stepped towards him and unleashed the question "dude, what the fuck are you talking about?" Was he frightened? Of course. But somehow Eric dug deep inside himself and found the strength to stand up to this bully. He looked the aggressor right in the eye and calmly stated "c'mon. That guy's a total fag!"

And for the crime of standing up for his beliefs, this brave patriot was subjected to an unending onslaught of head-shaking and eye-rolls as his former friends deserted him, walking away and returning to class.

Of course it goes without saying that Eric is currently in hiding in an undisclosed location, fearing for his safety and that of his family, as it is expected that gay thugs will of course seek to do him violence, possibly with the assistance of jack-booted government goons. But for standing up bravely in the face of unimaginable intolerance, Eric Smith is our Conservative Hero of the Day!