Tuesday, May 5, 2015

This story keeps getting crazier

First, the Pentagon announced that they were going to do a big training exercise in the Southwest. Which isn't particularly crazy, because if you want to simulate conditions in Iraq or Afghanistan, you're gonna want to go to Texas or Arizona.

Then the nuts found out about it.

which is not surprising. There are a lot of idiots who listen to Alex Jones, so of course they thought that this was part of some New World Order kind of plot to take Texans' guns a way or whatever it is they think the black helicopters are up to.

Then it started to get really crazy.

Texas Governor Deploys State Guard To Stave Off Obama Takeover

Which means that either the governor of the second or third most populous state in the Union is a paranoid imbecile, or that the governor of the second or third most populous state in the union feels that he needs to pander to paranoid imbeciles to protect his political future. And I don't know which is more depressing.

Although, what Abbott and the assorted lunatic screwballs think that the "State Guard of Texas" would do to defend Texas from the most powerful military force the world has ever known remains a mystery.

Now the Wal*Mart corporation has had to issue a public denial that their closed locations are being used as part of some nefarious plot by the government  to take over the state that if we had any sense we'd give back to Mexico.

Wal-Mart: 'No Truth To The Rumors' Of Tunnels Being Built To Take Over Texas

Theorists have suggested that five Wal-Mart retail locations were shuttered abruptly because of Jade Helm 15. They have suggested that the closed stores, one of which is located in Texas, will serve as "food distribution centers" and will be used to "house the headquarters of invading troops from China, here to disarm Americans one by one."

Which would honestly be the best use of a Wal*Mart in the company's history.

Another theory suggested that there was already a system of underground tunnels below the closed Wal-Marts.
Well, that's ridiculous. If there were, their employees would have escaped.

Then Governor Abbott actually tried to justify his absurd, laughable response to his constituents' pathetic paranoia. 

Abbott told the Tribune his actions were "simple and non-inflammatory" and shouldn't be misconstrued.
“I frankly think that there was an overreaction to the simple fact that someone has to be in charge of gathering and disseminating information and we stepped in to play that role, which is a role to be applauded," Abbott told the Tribune.

No. I mean, I'm no military expert, but I'm pretty sure that they generally don't want anyone disseminating information about their training missions. Or any missions. I'm pretty sure they frown on anyone giving out information about what they're doing to a bunch of Gadsen flag-waving militia wannabes. 

Then, the lunatic cherry on top of this batshit sundae:

Chuck Norris Pledges To Protect Texas From Federal Invasion

Because occasionally he forgets that he isn't a character in one of his movies.

Last week, I laughed as some progressives in the mainstream media tried to mock Gov. Abbott for telling the Texas State Guard to monitor the Pentagon’s Jade Helm 15 military ops that are occurring this summer in seven states, including California and Texas.

No, they were actually pretty successful in their mocking of the idiot governor of your shithole state.

If Washington wants to cool the embers of controversy, then it should quit stoking the fire, as with the posting of a map of Jade Helm 15 “just” exercises that label some areas of the country, including Texas, as “hostile,” according to KHOU 11 News in Houston and verified by the Washington Post.

Oh. My. Gawd! If you're doing a military training exercise, you have to have some area serving as "hostile" territory. It's make-believe. It's playing pretend. How many times did you get kicked in the head in your career?

Concerned Texans and Americans are in no way calling into question our brave and courageous men and women in uniform. They are merely following orders. What’s under question are those who are pulling the strings at the top of Jade Helm 15 back in Washington. The U.S. government says, “It’s just a training exercise.” But I’m not sure the term “just” has any reference to reality when the government uses it.
“Well, I’m not trusting what we’re being told,” said Mike Hightower, an affable antique store owner and real-estate agent in the very small town of Smithville, Texas, where some Jade Helm 15 exercises will take place. He added, “I think there’s something a little more involved than what they’re telling us.”

Okay, first of all, Texans, as much as both you and we hate to admit it, ARE AMERICANS. Secondly, if you think that there was some federal plot to "invade" Texas, which is, as you may remember, already a part of the US, do you really think they would have told you they were coming?
And third, Mike the antique guy? That's your source? Well, if Mike the antique guy is suspicious, then hell yes we should all be afraid. **eye-roll**

Friends, when it comes to freedom, we must question, verify and vet everyone and everything. As Thomas Jefferson told his nephew, Peter, in 1787: “Question with boldness even the existence of a god; because, if there be one, he must more approve the homage of reason, than that of blindfolded fear.”

Wow, it's almost like you're acknowledging that founding father Thomas Jefferson was not a devout Christian who wanted our nation to be a theocracy!