Monday, August 29, 2011

Who Can Have the most assholish response to a Natural Disaster?

Bonus points for making God sound like a petty jerk!

Contestant # 1: Michele Bachmann (R-Pscychonnia)

"I don't know how much God has to do to get the attention of the politicians. We've had an earthquake; we've had a hurricane. He said, 'Are you going to start listening to me here?' Listen to the American people because the American people are roaring right now. They know government is on a morbid obesity diet and we've got to rein in the spending." 
Well honey, He definitely said something about reigning in obesity, nudge, nudge!

Wow! So Bachmann's God just killed a bunch of people and destroyed a bunch of homes because he disagrees with our fiscal policy? Now that's a petty jerk! Also, if you did actually take "God's" advice and listen to the American People, you'd see that every poll indicates that they are not all that worried about the debt, they are worried about jobs. That roaring? That's the American people shouting JOBS, JOBS, JOBS!! It's only inside your little FOX News / Club For Growth bubble that cutting government spending is a top priority.

Contestant #2: Glenn Beck
Yeah, apparently Beck is still around. He popped his head out from under the cow flop he's been hiding under lately to say this:
This hurricane that is coming thorough the East Coast, for anyone who’s in the East Coast and has been listening to me say ‘Food storage!’ ‘Be prepared!’ ‘Be somebody that can help others,’ you’ve heard me say this for years. People have made fun of me. That’s fine, I don’t care. I’ve been telling you, ‘Don’t be in a panic situation.’ If you’ve waited, this hurricane is a blessing. It is a blessing. It is God reminding you — as was the earthquake last week — it’s God reminding you you’re not in control. Things can happen. Be prepared  

So, Beck's God just killed a bunch of people and destroyed a bunch of homes in order to make Beck look prescient? Or maybe to increase sales of Beck's "Food Insurance" scam?

That's more than being a petty jerk, Beck's "God" is like a mafioso running a protection racket with Beck! 

Hey, I'm just sayin' A lot of bad things can happen to an Eastern Seaboard!