Wednesday, August 31, 2011

This is what's wrong with America.

On the way to work this morning there was a short little story about a fire department who had used the wrong address on the return envelopes for a fundraising drive. And I think it was just supposed to be kind of a cute little "ha,ha silly firemen" kind of an end of the hour feel-good story. But of course, they missed what should have been the point of the story.

Why in the HELL are Fire Departments having to do fundraisers?

Why should fire departments have to ask for donations as if they were some sort of private charity and not a public agency that benefits everyone? This is everything wrong with America in a nutshell. And it's not just this one particular department.

Artists to auction work to help fund fire department in Rist Canyon 

Ledgeview fundraiser nets $1,500 for fire department 

Turley Fire Department seeks donations for repairs

 Fundraiser set for Vilonia Fire Department

Needville plans fundraiser to assist fire department 

Firefighters, EMS To Hold Fundraiser At Dish 'N Dat

 U of R donates $30,000 to firetruck fund

REDLANDS - The Redlands Ladder Truck fund is about halfway to its goal, thanks to generous donations from various organizations. Wednesday was a big day for the fundraiser, as the Redlands Fire Department received three big donations to go toward replacing its outdated ladder truck.
All those headlines are from the last couple weeks. All these fire departments are having to go begging for money from the public because we have apparently come to a time in our history when we are no longer willing to fund the most basic, most necessary  services with our tax dollars. We would rather have our heroes going hat in hand to various philanthropists and organizations than have corporations pay taxes on their billions of dollars in profits. 

Someday, when history students are asked "Why did the most powerful nation in the history of the world die out?" they can point to this. They decided that they would rather let fire departments (not to mention schools, police depts, hospitals, etc) go un-funded than ask billionaire CEO's to maybe try and chip in a little.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Okay, Quick Show of Hands. . .

. . .Who likes penises?

Okay, and who likes men in speedos?

 And who loves hetero sex? Let's see your hands!

That's what I thought.

Monday, August 29, 2011

Who Can Have the most assholish response to a Natural Disaster?

Bonus points for making God sound like a petty jerk!

Contestant # 1: Michele Bachmann (R-Pscychonnia)

"I don't know how much God has to do to get the attention of the politicians. We've had an earthquake; we've had a hurricane. He said, 'Are you going to start listening to me here?' Listen to the American people because the American people are roaring right now. They know government is on a morbid obesity diet and we've got to rein in the spending." 
Well honey, He definitely said something about reigning in obesity, nudge, nudge!

Wow! So Bachmann's God just killed a bunch of people and destroyed a bunch of homes because he disagrees with our fiscal policy? Now that's a petty jerk! Also, if you did actually take "God's" advice and listen to the American People, you'd see that every poll indicates that they are not all that worried about the debt, they are worried about jobs. That roaring? That's the American people shouting JOBS, JOBS, JOBS!! It's only inside your little FOX News / Club For Growth bubble that cutting government spending is a top priority.

Contestant #2: Glenn Beck
Yeah, apparently Beck is still around. He popped his head out from under the cow flop he's been hiding under lately to say this:
This hurricane that is coming thorough the East Coast, for anyone who’s in the East Coast and has been listening to me say ‘Food storage!’ ‘Be prepared!’ ‘Be somebody that can help others,’ you’ve heard me say this for years. People have made fun of me. That’s fine, I don’t care. I’ve been telling you, ‘Don’t be in a panic situation.’ If you’ve waited, this hurricane is a blessing. It is a blessing. It is God reminding you — as was the earthquake last week — it’s God reminding you you’re not in control. Things can happen. Be prepared  

So, Beck's God just killed a bunch of people and destroyed a bunch of homes in order to make Beck look prescient? Or maybe to increase sales of Beck's "Food Insurance" scam?

That's more than being a petty jerk, Beck's "God" is like a mafioso running a protection racket with Beck! 

Hey, I'm just sayin' A lot of bad things can happen to an Eastern Seaboard!

Sunday, August 28, 2011

This seems like the perfect time to attack FEMA.

Eric Cantor: Federal Hurricane Disaster Relief Would Have To Be Offset By Spending Cuts

Well, sure, if we're going to spend money on something frivolous like disaster relief, we'll have to cut something else. We certainly can't bring in more revenues for something this unimportant!

And of course, he's not the only one:

Ron Paul Thinks Hurricane Aid Is Wasteful, Touts Return To 1900

And how exactly did we deal with natural disasters in 1900?  

I guess you just hopefully lived next door to some friendly Amish folk who would help ypu re-build your home?

Or maybe homeowners' insurance companies hadn't yet figured out all the ways they could screw you out of payment yet?

Or were people just such rugged individualists back then that they just rebuilt dykes and dams and roads and buildings themselves with the tools that used to be in their garages before flood waters washed them away?

How long is it going to take before people realize that it's a bad idea to put people who don't believe in government in charge of the government?

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Did Rupert Murdoch Buy National Geographic?

Because otherwise, I can't think of any reason why they would be airing "George W. Bush: the 9/11 Interview."

Is there some chance that they think he's going to suddenly be honest?

Look at this clip:

First clip from Nat Geo's "George W. Bush: The 9/11 Interview" from Realscreen magazine on Vimeo.

He starts out by lying, saying that he never wanted to be a wartime president, when we know that his adminsitration had been drawing up invasion plans for Iraq before 9/11, just waiting for a pretext.

Then he tells this bizzarre story about being told that the first plane had hit the WTC. He says that he thought it was a light aircraft and that it must have been some sort of weather-related accident or something. Had he not already been informed that 4 very large airplanes had been hijacked that morning? And when his aides told him about the crash, could they really have been that vague about the details? Would they really not have said "um, no, Mr. President, this was a fucking 747 and it looks to have been intentional?" Why would he have assumed that this was a minor incident? If a "light aircraft" had accisentally crashed into a building, that doesn't seem like something that would merit alerting the POTUS. And if he really did think that this was some sad, but minor accident, why instruct his staff to send all possible help to New York? If this was a light aircraft crashing in Manhattan, the FDNY would have been perfectly capable of handling it.

Bush's negligence on Sept. 11 was absolutely inexcusable and unforgivable. Instead of telling his staff to send help and then walking into a classroom, he should have been on the phone with NORAD. As soon as he got word that four different 747's had been hijacked at the same time, he should have been in contact with NORAD. Who knows how many lives could have been saved by scrambling fighter jets to force the planes down? Look at what happened with the 4th plane in Pennsylvania. Contrary to the story we all were originally told, the passengers did not wrest control of the plane from the terrorists. (If they had, would they have flown it straight into the ground, or would they have called air traffic control and try to get someone to talk them through safely landing the plane?) No, the black box confirms that as soon as the passengers started to kick down the cockpit door, the terrorists panicked and steered the plane into the ground because they knew that they could be overpowered and might lose their chance to kill thousands, so they decided they would at least kill the Americans who were on board their plane. There's no reason to think that they might not have reacted similarily to US fighter jets.

There is another promo running on the "Nat Geo" channel in which Bush states that his emotions at the time were "sadness, grief, and determination." Really? Determination? Determination to find out how "My Pet Goat" ends? (In the above clip, Bush claims that he was "listening intently to the lesson" ) Or was it determination to invade the wrong country?

I expect this sort of thing from FOX. They have a pathological need to participate in this sort of shameless rehabilitation of GW Bush, but National Geographic? Aren't they supposed to be an educational organization? Why in the hell would they be a party to this sort of blatantly disingenuous propoganda?

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Pallin' Around With Terrorists

Apparently, one of Michele Bachmann's advisors has actually been imprisoned on terrorism charges in Uganda.
This story is from FOX News, by the way, who totally want to be Michele Bachmann's boyfriend, not som damn dirty liberal website.

Bachmann’s Religious Organizer Was Imprisoned in Uganda on Terror Charges in 2006

Published August 19, 2011

Peter Waldron, director of faith outreach for Rep. Michele Bachmann’s presidential campaign, reportedly was arrested in Uganda on terrorism charges and imprisoned for over a month before being released five years ago under mysterious circumstances.

Read more:

Not to be outdone, Mitt Romney has himself one of them terrorist-affiliated advisor fellas, too.

Romney advisor advocating for terrorist group
reiss romney
Reuters/Joshua Roberts
A foreign policy advisor to Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney has been active in recent months in an advocacy campaign to rehabilitate the reputation of an underground organization in Iran known as the Mujahedin-e Khalq. The MEK has been designated by the U.S. State Department as a "terrorist" organization.
Mitchell Reiss, former director of policy planning at the State Department during the Bush administration, is now advising the former Massachusetts governor on foreign policy, the New Republic recently reported. Reiss also advised Romney's 2008 campaign.

God tries to smite the gays, fails miserably.

via C&L:

Within hours of an earthquake striking the eastern U.S. Tuesday, a rabbi that has spoken for the anti-gay group National Organization for Marriage (NOM) was already blaming homosexuals.
In a video posted to YouTube, Rabbi Yehuda Levin asserted that "one of the reasons God brings earthquakes to the world is because of the transgressions of homosexuality."

"Yes, there is a direct connection between earthquakes and homosexuality. There was in Haiti and it is here, in New York, in Washington, D.C., where they passed homosexual legislation ordinances, in New York City and state, where they opened, especially on Sunday early, where they passed the homosexual marriage law."

So the punishment for the gay marriage thing is an mild shaking that kills no one, injures no one, and does damage only to the National Cathedral? Take that gays!

You'd think a rabbi would be familiar with the Old Testament. When Old Testament people did something to upset Old Testament God, he went freakin medieval on them. Plagues, floods, fire and brimstone, when Old Testament God was pissed, you damn well knew it. Seems to me maybe God is getting a bit soft in his old age. Either that or maybe, just maybe, gay marriage doesn't really bother him.

Horrible Mother Convicted of Abuse, Idiots leap to her defense.

Sadistic "Hot sauce Mom" Jessica Beagley   was convicted of child abuse and may face jail time. Of course there are a bunch of assholes taking to the comments section to defend her.

Warning: This video is very hard to watch.

I found that video very disturbing. But maybe even more disturbing are some of the comments left on the Yahoo news page containing the story:

Anna Babout an hour agoReport Abuse
Does the government decide just how the children of this generation is punished? What happend to spare the rod, spoil the child. I am glad that I grew up with spankings, they got the point across and I am better for it.

Really? You're better for it? So you used to be even worse? Obviously you weren't spanked hard enough to get across the point of subject-verb agreement.

Casa M4 minutes agoReport Abuse
Child abuse is a terrible thing, but is this really child abuse? Jail???? I know a whole lot of folks who got the "soap treatment" for cussin' and, son of a gun, they still take showers. Much adeu about nothing....
 Wow, so if you weren't traumatized enough to be rendered unable to bathe, then it doesn't count? Also, soap and hot sauce are very different things. Both are awful, but soap doesn't burn the lining of your mouth. Also, the word is "ado." Unless you are trying to say "much goodbye about nothing," in which case the word is "adieu." Also, your name means "house."

bbou8125 minutes agoReport Abuse
Big friggin deal!!! Abuse? lmao. if your an old person no one gives a !@#$!!! far worse things happen to the elderly every day! lets hear you cry about a REAL PROBLEM

If worse things happen to someone else, you have no complaint. Soldiers who have lost an arm or a leg in the war can't complain because Max Cleland lost 3 limbs. Now if you lose all four, then that'll shut old Max up!


Better not be whining while he's still got one good arm!
0users disliked this commentBad Bradabout a minute agoReport Abuse
Yeah lets let Casey Anthony walk, but find this lady guilty, our system here is so messed up it makes me sick!!! We cant spank our kids, cant pray in school well to God anyways but rap a towel around your head fly up to your local goverment office on you magic carpet with your wicker basket full of snakes and they will give you a 7-11 or a valero and let your kids have time out for mass in school. they take all our rights away from us BUT!!! let your kids do a crime before they are 17 then guess who is in trouble? you are, im sorry people but i am sick and tired of this F**ked up so called justic system and every red blooded American should feel the same way.... My point is this lady did nothing wrong but because Casey Anthony walked every parent that punishes there child will be proacuted and found guilty of child abuse. i could go on and on dang im #$%$!!!
 Um, wow! Just. . . wow!
First of all, Mass is celebrated by Catholics, not whatever fictional people ride magic carpets with snake baskets.
He has had it with these muthafuckin' snakes on this muthafuckin' magic carpet!

Second, no one is stopping anyone from praying in school. The schools are just not allowed to force anyone into prayer. Do you think that kids are getting into trouble for chanting "please, God, don't let her call on me?"

Third, which agency is it that is responsible for handing out the 7-11's and Valeros? 'Cause I will bring a basket of snakes down there right now!

Fourth, how does one "rap" a towel around one's head?

Fifth, are you sure that you are #$%$!!!? Are you sure you're not %@#&?

darkabout an hour agoReport Abuse
Punish the child, it's abuse. Let the nanny state tell us we can say 'that was a not so nice thing to do'... kid goes to highschool and kills a few dozzen of his classmates due to having no dicipline... It has got to be the parents fault.

Um, what? A kid with a lack of discipline goes on a murder spree? That's a hell of a leap! Oh, but wait, there's more from "Dark"

In my youth, i can safely say that i have digested no less than one case of Ivory bar soap, 30 gallons of Tabasco sauce, 2 bottles of ipicack (not to excuse the use of it). Wore out at least three belts, broke at least 17 wooden spoons, 3 hair brushes, and my mothers will once or twice. Somehow, after all of that, i managed to gain a healthy respect for law enforcement, and the rules.

Ah. I see.  Yes, you clearly have a healthy viewpoint. That's why you go by the name "Dark" and your profile looks like this:

The Night's photo

The Night

Get updates

  • The Night

    In the shadows 

That just screams happy, healthy and well-balanced. Actually, it just screams. And it's no wonder, given the horriffic list of abuses you suffered as a child.

Regina2 hours agoReport Abuse
it starts out as something simple like lying, but it ends up with him disrespecting his mother, teacher girlfrined and killing his classmates, lets just send him to his room where his tv computer and game system is, that will teach him....NOT
Again with the killing the classmates? where is this idea coming from? If you don't torture the kid for telling a fib, he's sure to end up as a mass murderer. It makes no sense.

Not punished for lying, 1949.

HeadoftheClass53 minutes agoReport Abuse
That kid is lucky I'm not his mother, I'd do more than give him hot sauce, his rear end would be blistered red and he'd be grounded for three weeks. You weaklings out there with no spine to discipline your kids will raise children that are in charge of you and who will end up slapping you around. 

Interesting theory. If you don't beat the hell out of your kids, they will end up beating you? I would say that every kid is lucky that you are not his or her mother, since your parenting philosophy seems to be that family life is a blood sport for dominance

American Patriot13 minutes agoReport Abuse
Hot sauce is lame, it's much more fun to watch your kid bubble from the nose after washing the kids mouth out with soap. What ever happen to the trusty belt, that is how I go it......what a bunch of babies.

So you got beat with a belt, now you're the kind of sadist that thinks it's fun to watch children suffer. What was your point again?

Daniel44 minutes agoReport Abuse
I don't know what you people are talking about. When I was kid disiplence was #1. I thought a lot of times that my parents were hurting me and hated me, but really it showed how muc they loved me. Because of them I have no trouble figuring our right from wrong.

You believed that your parents hated you? That's horrible. But, you have a sense of right and wrong, so I guess the emotional trauma was worth it!

It's really depressing to know how many sadistic assholes there are out there. I'm sure a lot of thbem have kids. And if they don't yet, there's nothing to prevent them from having them. I have to go sob in the fetal position now.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

The Most Ridiculous Thing I've Ever Heard

Mayan group's logo too much like Toucan Sam, Kellogg's squawks

Kellogg’s feathers are ruffled over a case of too many toucans.

The cereal giant has asked a Bay Area Mayan nonprofit organization to remove an image of the tropical bird in its logo, claiming that it could be confused with Kellogg’s trademarked Froot Loops mascot, Toucan Sam.


I don't know what is more ridiculous, the claim that this:

Might be confused with this:

Or the idea that Kellog's somehow owns the concept of "toucan."

Really, Kellog's? You think you have a copyright on Ramphastos Toco?

I believe I still hold the patent on that one!

Oh, hey, Kellog's, you should totally sue the Detroit Tigers for ripping off your Tony the Tiger character!


I'm totally getting that logo confused with yours:

I can barely tell the difference. I can't remember now if I wanted to watch baseball or poison myself with sugar-coated sugar flakes.

Now with Extra Sugar!

The [Mayan] group added its own accusation: Kellogg’s Froot Loops advertising strategy sends racist messages to its young target audience with the presence of a dark-skinned villain named the Greedy Witch Doctor who steals from children, it said.

Holy shit! I have never seen that commercial before! That is just horrible.

Friday, August 19, 2011

Could someone please explain to me. . .

. . .The appeal of Zooey Deschanel?

Type her name into Google, look how many "Tumblrs" there are about Zooey Deschanel.

What's the deal?

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Why are People Still Talking to Christine O'Donnell?

I think she really thinks that the job of the media is to serve as her publicist, helping her to promote whatever idiotic little book she's pretending to have written.

I'm here to talk about legislative policies, not anything political!
What a moron!

Insane Birther is Insane

Okay, I have a couple of questions.
1. Isn't this the sort of tape they usually find after the guy has killed his family and himself?
2. How exactly did this person get promoted to Staff Sargent?
3. Moran? Really, your name is Moran?

4. Birtherism? Now? Birtherism is sooooo 2009.

5. Is anyone at the Air Force getting this guy the professional help he needs before he hurts someone? Seriously, this man is a danger to himself and others. Someone had better be getting this man psychiatric help.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Tea Party Logic

It's hard to choose which is my favorite bit of Tea Party logic in this clip:

I think my favorite part is when the creepy beardy guy (is that Brent Bozell?) states that of course the President and Vice President are lying, because senators have said they heard it and what, are you going to say that a senator would lie?

Or maybe when Margaret Hoover says that hey, we waited a year before we started calling the President a Nazi Marxist Kenyan Muslim witch doctor, and they still called us racists! How could they?

Or maybe when Hannity is so disappointed that the President has "never stood up for the Tea Party!" Oh, it's just heartbreaking! The people who were threatening to come back with guns next time,

the people who lumped him in with Hitler and Stalin, 

How could he not stand up for them? Where is his sense of loyalty?
But my favorite moment didn't make it on to the FOX broadcast. Check out the less-edited video here:

That clip includes my absolute favorite moment of this whole one-minute kerfuffle. When the lady says, and I'm paraphrasing a bit, "[Biden] is the second member of your administration to call us terrorists, Janet Napolitano did it first."

And Obama says something like "no she didn't." And the lady responds "yes she did, she said that extremists should be watched out for!"

Oh, yeah. That's clearly the same thing.,1144460421,56/stock-photo-yellow-diamond-watch-for-falling-rocks-traffic-sign-isolated-on-a-white-background-1180347.jpg 
Basically just called all rocks "terrorists!"

Then she pulls out a statistic from the "out of her ass institute" that 90% of all domestic attacks are done by left-wing environmental groups. Not to say that environmental groups haven't engaged in what could be called terrorism, although generally, their attacks are against property only, not people, but come on, 90%? I've been searching FBI reports and other terrorism-related studies, and I can't find that statistic anywhere. Of course, I didn't look up that lady's ass, so maybe that's how I missed it.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Michele Bachmann "Proved Right?"

The other day, on the way to work, I heard a quick soundbite of Michele Bachmann claiming that she would not have raised the debt ceiling and that she had somehow been proven right on that score. And I assumed that I must have mis-heard, or that the damn liberal media had taken her out of context, or something, because there's no way that even Bachmann could think that that claim made any sense at all. But, no. I underestimated her delusionality once again. Here is the quote, according to Think Progress:

We just heard from Standard & Poor’s, when they dropped our credit rating and what they said is we don’t have an ability to repay our debt. That’s what the final word was from them. I was proved right in my position. We should not have raised the debt ceiling.

So, how does that make sense, even to a looney like Bachmann? How is it that she thinks she was "proved right?" I don't pretend to be an expert in the field of economics, but those who are experts have repeatedly stressed that if the debt ceiling had not been raised, the consequences would have been much much worse. The only way that Bachmann could have been "proved right" is if we had in fact NOT raised the debt ceiling, and things had turned out fine. Since we did raise the debt ceiling, there's really no way of knowing whether Bachmann could somehow have been right in believing that the US should default on its debts. (Although, come on!)
Hey, it could happen!

So, really the best possible construction she could put on this is that she had not been actually proven wrong. That is not the same thing as being "proved right."  It's like watching a baseball game and saying, "I would pinch-hit for Smith, I would send in Jones, he'd hit a home-run for sure." Then, when the manager leaves Smith in to bat, and he strikes out, you say "See, I told you they should have sent Jones in there. I have been proven right!" You may feel vindicated, but there's no way to know whether Jones would have, in fact, homered, or struck out, or even grounded into a double-play. Things might have gotten worse if Jones had gotten into the game. especially if Mr. Jones is the baseball equivilant of letting the nation default on its debts. 

Yer out! And so is your credit rating!

Of course, her entire argument is based on a premise which is either a lie, or a stunning show of ignorance, this idea that S&P lowered America's credit rating because we raised the debt ceiling, or because they were worried that America might find itself unable to pay its debts. In fact, S&P haver been quite clear that what concerns them is that there is a large faction within the government which is unwilling to pay. That's you, Ms Bachmann. You and your whole teabagger coalition


. Standard and Poor's is worried that you and your army of ignorant mouthbreathers seem willing, if not eager, to allow the US to go into default. And they worry that you and your imbecille caucus will be completely unwilling to raise the revenues required to pay our debts. The downgrade of our credit rating is YOUR FAULT, you pea-brained lunatic! You and all the other true-believer idiots who decided to play chicken with the US's credit, and got the corporatists to go along with your hostage taking.

And now I hear that Bachmann has won the Iowa straw poll? 
All in favor of Bachmann?

See, Iowa, this is why no one takes you seriously anymore.

Also this:

Terrible Marketing -- Superior Plumbing

Superior Plumbing is a Georgia-based  company with a unique approach to marketing:

So, apparently, the main selling point of your company is that your plumbers are, in fact, HUMAN? That's all you got, hmm? We guarantee that we will not send a plunger-waving orangutan to your house to throw feces at your plumbing problem! Well, with a guarantee like that, how could you go wrong?

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Caturday at Zoo Atlanta

Zoo Atlanta welcomes new arrivals, twin Sumatran Tiger Cubs!

Also, since there is no Giraffurday, here's Zoo Atlanta's newborn baby giraffe:

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Mitt Romney is so full of shit!

How many lies can Romney pack into this one little 3-minute video clip? I think my favorite lie is that he's going to protect Social security and medicare by not raising taxes. That doesn't even make sense. Maybe you could say "I've figured out a way that we can protect SS and medicare without raising taxes," but you can't just say that not raising taxes is going to protect them. There's just no logic to it. It's like saying "I'm going to get all these home repairs done by not hiring any contractors."  You may well be able to get the repairs done without hiring anyone, maybe do them yourself, or con your friends into helping, but the act of not hiring contractors doesn't put a single shingle on the roof.

Also, there's the line about if you want someone who's going to raise taxes, you can vote for Barack Obama. Way to count on your audience being pig-ignorant enough to not know thatt Barack Obama has in fact NOT raised taxes. Pathetic.

Then there's this bit of classic douchebaggery:

Corporations are NOT people. They are made up of people. People own shares of the corporations, corporations are run by people, but corporations are not people. That's like saying that the NFL is a football team. And we know good and damn well whose pockets corporate profits end up in, and it ain't ours. Quit bullshitting us.

Two guys who have just blown their chance at the presidency

1: Chris Christie.

Christie Defends Muslim Pick for New Jersey Judge, Calls Critics ‘Crazies’

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie is defending his pick of a Muslim for a state judgeship, saying critics of a lawyer who represented suspects after the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks are “ignorant” and “crazies”
Ooh, sorry, Chris. The first requirement for winning the GOP primary is acknowledging the simple truth that ALL Muslims are evil and want to kill all of us and also make us follow Sharia Law and then kill us. You're out. And you were doing so well, you'd already passed the "arrogant, bullying prick" test.Oh well, better luck next time.

2. Herman Cain.

Herman Cain Apologizes to Muslim Americans for Comments on Mosque Ban

Republican presidential hopeful Herman Cain apologized to Muslim leaders Wednesday for comments he made about banning mosques and Islamic places of worship that he accused were sneaking Sharia law into the U.S.  . . After his meeting with the Muslim group in Sterling, Va., Wednesday, Cain said he was still against Sharia law in the U.S. but was "truly sorry" for offending any Muslim Americans.

“While I stand by my opposition to the interference of Sharia law into the American legal system, I remain humble and contrite for any statements I have made that might have caused offense to Muslim Americans and their friends,” Cain said in the statement.

Oh my Godfather's Pizza! What the hell were you thinking? A, you met with Muslims? B, you apologized to Muslims? Who are you, Barack Obama? and C, you admitted that you were wrong about something? You learned something? From Muslims? I don't know who you are anymore!

You two might as well have burned a flag while aborting a baby with your gay husbands!

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Sign the petition. End abuse at the "Rape Factory"

Sign the Petition

Thousands of members have already spoken out against abuses at what's becoming known as the "rape factory" in Jordan.
“We only went to Jordan to earn money to help our families; we had no idea that factory managers would rape so many of us young girls,” said a young woman who goes by the name Nazma to protect her identity. 
Nazma is one of the dozens of Sri Lankan and Bangladeshi young women who have been sexually assaulted by supervisors at Classic Factory in northern Jordan, which makes clothes for American brands like Walmart, Target, and Macy's.
Leading up to next week’s trial against a Classic supervisor charged with rape -- the first such trial -- managers are escalating abuses. Supervisors are locking victims and witnesses in the factory, threatening and intimidating them to ensure they will not testify.
And although the Jordanian government promised that Anil Santha, the manager accused of rape, would not be allowed to return before the trial, he's back on the factory floor.
Despite global outcry over Classic’s abuses and the tactics they’re using to dodge justice, international customers like Walmart, Target, and Macy's are still buying Classic clothing.
Target and Macy's have claimed that they are investigating conditions at the factory, but they're deferring to the Jordanian Ministry of Economy and Labor -- which claims there is no evidence of sexual abuse.
Instead, conditions are getting worse. In addition to imprisoning women inside the factory, managers are removing all the males workers -- in some cases even deporting them -- cutting the staff to older male supervisors and vulnerable young women. 
At Classic's urging, the government also arrested the leader of an outside human rights NGO and took his passport to prevent him from intervening to protect the women at the factory.
“All we can do is cry,” Nazma said. “We ask the people who buy our garments, please end this abuse and torture we face. We should be able to work without fear of sexual assault.”
Now is a critical moment for action. Outside pressure and attention can ensure that victims and witnesses are freed and can testify against their rapists -- and that Classic Factory reforms its policies and practices. 
Otherwise, the manager and supervisors will continue to imprison, assault, and rape girls and women with renewed impunity.
Sign now to urge Walmart, Target, and Macy's to force Classic Factory to free imprisoned victims and witnesses -- and end its human rights abuses against women:
Thanks for being a change-maker,
- Patrick and the team

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

And Cue Phony Right-Wing Outrage in 3. . .2. . .

Michele Bachamnn's loony mug is adorning this week's issue of Newsweek (motto: Yes, they still make newsweek!)


Alternate titles: The Face of Catatonia
The Queen of "Hungh?"
The Lunatic is in My Head.

And of course, of course the picture isn't flattering enough for the wingnutosphere. No picture would have been. I mean, granted, it's not the most flattering picture, but A: Try finding a picture of Bachmann in which she doesn't look baboon-ass crazy.  B: Shouldn't you just be glad that a publication is treating her as if she were a person of importance? and C: you don't really need to say anything about it, no one reads Newsweek anymore.

But no. No, instead you get the sadly predictable phony outrage, with headlines like this one in Slate:

Is Newsweek's Michele Bachmann Cover Sexist?  

Or this bit of tortured logic from one of Breitbart's idiotic websites:

When your premise is an unflattering photo (and if you don’t have them you’re a liar or Miranda Kerr) to sell your bias, you just might be a chauvinist.

Or you just might not be a good enough photographer to make Bachmann look like a sane person?

That was written by someone named Dana Loesch, who also crapped out this brain-diamond:

I don’t know about you, but when I want articles on women that read like bitter Summer’s Eve scripts, I turn to Newsweek. Under the editorial control of Tina Brown, the rice paper magazine barely struggles against its bias towards conservative women to view them with anything other than contempt.

Oooh, sorry. You were so close. What you meant to say was "bias against conservative women."
Also, the "Summer's Eve script" reference? I have no idea what that's supposed to mean,nor do I want to. Please, for the love of God, I don't want that line explained.

Then there's some site called "freedom's Lighthouse" that asks the question that everyone is thinking:
Of all the photos of GOP Rep. Michele Bachmann they could have used, this is what Newsweek has chosen to feature on their cover. Notice they call Bachmann,
“The Queen of Rage.”
Can anyone really say with a straight face that the Mainstream Media is not totally biased against conservatives?

You know they didn't have a lot to choose from, right? I mean, which picture of Bachmann would you have preferred?

Seriously, do a google search and just see if you can find a picture of Michele Bachmann in which she doesn't look poo-throwing crazy, bag-of-doorknobs stupid, or both.

And after the horrible horrible things the righties have said a bout Hilary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, et al, they really have some balls throwing around charges of sexism.

Monday, August 8, 2011

Terrible marketing --DirecTV

First of all, shame on you, DirecTV, for aiding and abetting Dat Phan's career.

But, seriously, how the hell did this ad get made?

What was the pitch meeting for this like?

Hmm, gotta think of something funny. . . .
. . .Hey, you know what's funny? Asian dudes!

Asian dudes?

Yeah, you know how they're always talking in those funny accents? It's hilarious!

Oh, yeah, everyone likes accents! And let's have him act like a big shot, even though he's a tiny Asian guy. That'll be hysterical!

Oh, and you know how in commercials, you can tell a guy is rich because there are bikini-clad models following him around like pet labradors?

Oh, yeah, we should totally do that!

But get this, we'll show that he's super-rich because he can afford white chicks!

Even though he's a small Asian man? Brilliant! I'm laughing already!

Oh, and let's throw in an enormous panda just in case anyone forgets that this guy is Asian.

Why not just have him say his lines in broken pidgin-English?

Hey, who says we can't do both?

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Saturd80's - The Egyptian Lover

Does anyone else remember the Egyptian Lover? Maybe it was a Southern California thing, but we loved this guy in 1984-5.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Rep. Steve King Continues to Stake his Claim to the Title "Most Absurd Member of Congress."


High five! Anyone? No?

Steve King: Covering Birth Control Will Make Us ‘A Dying Civilization’
Rep. Steve King (R-IA) thinks it's "Orwellian" that the federal government would require health insurance providers to cover birth control, and that if left unchecked the policy could allow the U.S. to become "a dying civilization."

The pill killed the dinosaurs. Look it up!

Wow! How exactly does he come to this conclusion?

King particularly took offense to the "preventative" part of the language: "And they've called it preventative medicine. Preventative medicine. Well if you applied that preventative medicine universally what you end up with is, you've prevented a generation. Preventing babies from being born is not medicine."

Right, because making birth control available is basically going to force everyone to use it every time! If contraception is available, there will be no babies ever, because no one actually wants babies. Every baby born anywhere in the world is attributable to the high cost of Norplant. (Do they still make Norplant?)


I mean, look at this thing. Who would want one of those?

"That's not constructive to our culture and our civilization," King said. "If we let our birth rate get down below the replacement rate we're a dying civilization."

He later added: "Now none of us would have health to care about if they prevented us, would they Mr. Speaker? That is just it is bizarre, it's Orwellian."

Um, I gotta think that's a bit more Lewis Carroll than George Orwell.

King objected to this policy on the House floor on Monday night, saying that it is simply government overreach and part of Obama's plan for socialized medicine: "We have people that are single, we have people that are past reproductive age, we have priests that are celibate. All of them, paying insurance premiums that cover contraceptives so that somebody else doesn't have to pay the full fare of that?"

Wow! That's a whole lot of ridiculous for one quote.  Let's take this one point at a time.

A) Suuuuure, single people don't use birth control.

Honest, mom!

B) Really, there aren't enough celibate priests.

C) It's still private insurance companies covering birth control, so how is that "socialized medicine?"

D) By your logic, women shouldn't have to pay for prostate exams, vegetarians shouldn't have to pay for angioplasties, and those of us who have chosen not to reproduce shouldn't have to cover obstetrics or pediatrics.

Not on my dime, bitch!

Seriously, I don't know which is more ridiculous, the idea that making birth control more available will wipe out the species, or the idea that my insurance should only cover the things that I personally am going to use. Or, even if you are Steve King, you might someday find a woman willing to have sex with you, would you not want her to have access to birth control? Because a little mini Steve King? That would be a crime against nature.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

You've Been Warned.

This was just Round One. This shit is going to keep happening over and over as long as Republicans have a majority in either house, or a large enough minority to filibuster in the Senate.

That's not me saying that. It's Mitch McConnell:

MCCONNELL: It set the template for the future. In the future, Neil, no president — in the near future, maybe in the distant future — is going to be able to get the debt ceiling increased without a re-ignition of the same discussion of how do we cut spending and get America headed in the right direction. I expect the next president, whoever that is, is going to be asking us to raise the debt ceiling again in 2013, so we’ll be doing it all over.

And when they talk about cutting, they mean, of course, cutting programs that spend money to help people, not programs that spend money on blowing shit up and killing people!
LIEBERMAN: I want to indicate today to my colleagues that Senator Coburn and I are working again on a bipartisan proposal to secure Social Security over the long term, we hope to have that done in time. To also forward to the special committee for their consideration. So, bottom line, we can’t protect these entitlements and also have the national defense we need to protect us in a dangerous world while we’re at war with Islamist extremists who attacked us on 9/11 and will be for a long time to come.

There must always be money for war. There must always be money for military buildups. Forget that the United States has the most powerful military in the history of mankind. Forget that our enemies have boxcutters and exploding underpants, we must keep funneling taxpayer money into the coffers of Blackwater, Custer Battles, Wackenhut and Halliburton until Joe Lieberman can sleep without wetting himself. And if that means grandma and grandpa don't get their medicine, well it's worth it to make little Joe feel a teensy bit less scared. 

They will never be satisfied. On the day after the debt limit deal was reached, I heard notable douchebag David Dreier (R-CA) on Morning Edition calling the deal a good first step and adding that now they needed to start working on lowering marginal tax rates. They don't stop to catch their breath. As soon as they force one concession, they immediately demand the next one. They do not stop. Ever.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Congressman David Dreier (R-San Dimas, CA) today praised the launch of the House Republican Plan for America's Job Creators. . . . the plan would require congressional review and approval of any government regulations that have a significant impact on the economy or burden small businesses; audit existing and pending regulations to identify and address those that hinder economic growth; streamline the tax code and lower the tax rate for businesses and individuals including small business owners to no more than 25%

 The right wing will never let up until the US is a third-world country, with a very few super-rich and and the rest of us living in poverty. They're like the Terminator.

It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. 
It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear.
And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead.
You've been warned.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

The importance of not giving a fuck

Obama signs debt deal

 President Barack Obama has signed the debt compromise deal, staving off the potentially calamitous economic effects of a U.S. debt default.

Let me see if I have this "deal" straight.

 The teabaggers get huge spending cuts, no tax increases and no loopholes closed. And in return, the democrats got. . . . um, the economy not being blown up? That's pretty much what it seems like, for all the concessions they gave up, what they got in return was that the economy will not be purposely destroyed.

It's like a couple arguing in the car, and the husband says "tell you what, you let me have my way on this one, and I won't steer into oncoming traffic." It's ridiculous. Why were the Republicans allowed to get away with pretending that a government default was not going to hurt them as much as anyone else?

I've been trying to figure out why Republicans are so much better at these "negotiations" than Democrats, and I think I have it figured out. They don't give a fuck. And not giving a fuck is a damn strong bargaining position.
Imagine you and your spouse are negotiating about the household chores. Neither one of you wants to clean the bathroom, you both would rather do whatever the easiest thing is. You are in a much stronger position if you can say "Hey, it's your family coming over, I don't give a fuck if the house gets clean or not." (do not try this at home)

That's the Republican bargaining strategy. they don't give a fuck. If they don't get what they want, hey maybe the economy blows up, maybe it doesn't, either way, they don't give a fuck. They want what they want when they want it, and if they don't get it,  they don't give a fuck about what happens to the country. Either they're going to be happy or no one will be happy. 

That tax cut wasn't big enough! Now this is happening!

Monday, August 1, 2011

An Open letter to Everyone Invoilved With "Project Runway"

Dear Everyone,

     Please, please, please for the love of God, stop using the singular "pant." I don't know why it's so annoying, and I don't know why I find it vaguely creepy, but it is and I do. The term has always been "pants." As in "I have designed this pair of pants which do not fit my model correctly and make her appear to wearing Huggies." Why do you all insist on using "pant," as in "I think instead of a dress, I will design a jacket and a pant which will be too tight and make my model look lumpy and misshapen."

If you are for whatever reason, you are uncomfortable with the term "pants," there are other alternatives.






Whatever. Just please stop saying "a pant."

I thank you for your prompt consideration of this matter.