Monday, March 31, 2014

Stupidest People Say the Stupidest Things

Stupidest person # 1: Donald Trump

3-30-2014 8-46-47 AM

O fer fuck sake. . .

Yes, Mr. Trump, that's exactly how it works. Even though there is exactly ZERO evidence linking vaccines to autism and even though researchers believe that signs of autism are visible in fetuses who have never been vaccinated, yes, that's probably what happens. Kid goes to doctor, comes home and says "mommy, I don't feel good. I think I'm autistic now."
Who found these "many" cases you refer to? The same investigators who were finding all that unbelievable stuff in Hawaii?

3-30-2014 8-51-49 AM

Jeezus Christ! It doesn't matter what you believe! You are not a doctor, you are not a scientist, you are not even a reasonably intelligent person. It wasn't enough to link yourself to Orly Taitz, now you're throwing in your lot with Jenny McCarthy? Kids will die because stupid self-important blowhards like you scare gullible parents into leaving their children unprotected from preventable diseases. Shut the fuck up, you stupid bag of assholes!

Stupidest person # 2: Ted Nugent

Ted Nugent calls mayor ‘racist,’ ‘anti-Texas’ after town pays him not to show

Wow, Ted Nugent calling someone else a racist. That's really a case of the pot calling the kettle a pot!

“I hear from reliable sources that the mayor is a racist and was offended that my band performs mostly African-American-influenced music,” Mr. Nugent, 65, told the Star-Telegram.

Oh my God. African-American influenced music? Is it possible that anyone could listen to the dreck Nugent performs and hear any echoes of "African-American music?" Could anyone be whiter than ted Nugent? I mean, I understand the concept of the blues having a baby and naming it rock and roll, but the "rawk" music Ted performs has absolutely no vestige of any soul/r&b/blues influence.  He makes Pat Boone seem like a soul singer.

 “Sounds like a sad case of anti-Texas in Texas.”

Anti-Texas? What the fuck does Nugent have to do with Texas? He's "the Motor-City Madman," right? Last I checked, the Motor City is in Michigan.

“Everyone knows ol’ Uncle Ted is the ultimate Independence Day rockout with the ultimate all-American, soul music, rockin’ soundtrack of defiance, liberty and freedom,” he said.

Ah. I see. Also, everyone knows that only complete douchenozzles refer to themselves in the third person, especially using a self-given nickname.

Lookin' at you, "Black Mamba!"

But, sure, that's probably why they decided not to invite you to perform at their Fourth of July party, despite your Sarah Palin-style word salad you tossed there with the freedom an' the defiance and whatnot. It couldn't be that they decided it might be a bit controversial to celebrate America with a person who referred to her President as  "sub-human mongrel." And it couldn't be that someone at the mayor's office sobered up and realized that a family-friendly event might not want to feature a guy who sings songs about "poontang" while wearing a loincloth.

Wang dang, what a sweet poontang
A-shakin' my thang as a rang-a-dang-dang in the bell

She's so sweet when she yanks on my meat
Down on the street you know she can't be beat
What the hell

Amerrrrrica, Amerrrica.
God shed his grace on theeeeeee. . . .

Friday, March 28, 2014

This is what we get

This is a predictable result of the austerity framework that has dominated our politics since the 1980's.
Because we have such fear of taxation and government spending (except on war, of course) that we don't fund our institutions. The institutions have to seek funding from other sources. Those other sources tend so be wealthy megalomaniac nuts who, unsurprisingly, want something in return for their "investment."

Like, for instance, YOUR SOUL!!!!!

 So we get shit like this:

(Via Salon)

A major funder of “creation museums” has been selected — strange as it may seem — to be the commencement speaker at Montana’s leading institution of science, Montana Tech, the mining and engineering school in Butte that has produced some of the world’s top geologists.

The speaker is Greg Gianforte, a conservative billionaire whose philanthropic endeavors include funding museums whose purpose is to discredit Darwinism and persuade visitors that the Earth is 6,000 years old, that North America’s geology was carved by Noah’s flood, and that dinosaurs coexisted with early humans.

Now why would a science school invite an anti-science fanatic to give its commencement address?
Funny you should ask!
Odder still is the fact that Gianforte is no stranger to science at all. He is a computer scientist, who built a massively successful company. . . And he has donated money to Montana Tech for its computer science program
The objectors are not only upset about Gianforte, but also the inclusion of his wife, Susan, in the program.  She was invited to co-deliver the commencement speech with her husband.  Susan Gianforte is a vociferous opponent of laws designed to protect gay people from being targets of discrimination.  She believes businesses should have the legal right to refuse service to gay customers, and she has been leading the charge against an anti-discrimination ordinance that is now being debated by the city council of Bozeman, where the Gianfortes live.

So, pretty much exactly the type of couple that an institute of higher learning would want to associate itself with. But in these times we live in, everything's for sale.

Even Stupider People Saying Even Stupider Things

Stupid person # 1: Donald Trump

Oh, right. Because otherwise no terrorist would ever think of striking MANHATTAN!
Has the right-wing re-write of history been so thorough that not only does Dubya not bear any responsibility for his failures surrounding 9/11 but now 9/11 never even happened?

Y'know, I really really don't get Trump. This guy had all the money he could ever want, a string of airhead model-looking wives/girlfriends and completely undeserved fame and respect. He had somehow managed to sell this image of himself as a business genius, despite all the bankruptcies and as a self-made man despite having been born a millionaire. But at some point, he thought "no, I don't want to be remembered as a successful entrepreneur. I want my legacy to be that of a delusional, stupid bag of mis-directed hate and anger! I want to be remembered as the guy who hated the black president so much that I forever linked myself to Orly Taitz. When people think of the name "Donald Trump," I want them to think of the ridiculous gasbag who spouted every conceivable type of nonsense into any microphone I could find because I just couldn't bring myself to accept a black guy being president." Well, mission accomplished, Donnie, you pitiful buffoon.

Stupid person # 2: Bryan Fischer

Fischer said that there were other jobs in the church that only men could do, but the secretarial job "is going to be reserved for a woman because of the unique things that God has built into woman."

Well, sure, because how are you going to do all that filing and typing without a vagina? What're you gonna do, type with your dick?

OK, to be fair he never said it was because of vaginas. Could be the boobies that help you do secretary stuff.

Also, those "other jobs" that "only men could do?" I'm gonna guess that those are the "good jobs." The jobs that "pay well." 'Cause I know God doesn't want ladies doin' those!

Stupid person # 3: Donald Rumsfeld.

Our relationship with Karzai and with Afghanistan was absolutely first rate in the Bush administration. It has gone down hill like a toboggan ever since the Obama administration came.

Wait, our relationship with that corrupt, ineffectual douchebag has gone down hill? Perish the thought!
“Nobody likes to hear a foreign leader side with Putin on the Crimea the way he has. But I really think it’s understandable, given the terrible, terrible diplomacy that the United States has conducted with Afghanistan over the last several years."

Yes, if only we had taken the "bomb the fuck out of and invade" approach to diplomacy. Or maybe the "arrest random people, take them to a foreign country and torture them for years without charges" technique.

Fuck you, you murderous war criminal.

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Scott Brown has become aware!

"Do I have the best credentials? Probably not. 'Cause, you know, whatever. But I have long and strong ties to this state,"

-- Former Sen. Scott Brown (R), quoted by the AP, on his New Hampshire U.S. Senate race.

That should really be his campaign slogan.
Also, too, his "long and strong ties" to New Hampshire consist of having been born there and then moving to Massachusetts as a baby and then going back there this year to run for Senator.

The only thing that can stop a bad guy with a gun

Is a good guy with a gun.

Or a fucking bad ass who has had enough of this gun guy's bullshit.

I always wondered

I always wondered what happens to those Anne Geddes babies when they get older.