Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Janet is Bringing Panic Back!

Remember how for a couple of years after 9/11, everyone was so paranoid about everything and everything looked like a bomb 

  and we were all on the verge of panic all the time? Those were good times! Terrorists hiding under every bed, sleeper cells in every neighborhood, I miss those days. You know who else misses that? Janet Napolitano! That's why this video will be playing at Wal-Marts all over the U.S. of A.

God, could you imagine being local law enforcement getting calls day and night from WalMart customers who think they saw Osama bin Laden parking his Winnebago in the parking lot?

Can you imagine fielding the calls from people like this lady or gentleman

every time s/he sees "something suspicious," like a hippy or a Jew!

Is this the person Janet Napolitano thinks would be a good help in collecting intelligence on possible domestic terrorists?

You really think this guy


is going to be a valuable asset keepin' an eye out fer any trubble?

Okay, maybe this guy

He looks like he might be pretty handy with a shootin' iron. Although I'd be a mite worried 'bout that itchy trigger finger of his'n.

Honestly, do you think there has ever been a moment in this woman's life where she hasn't seen "something suspicious?"

Stupidest Headline of the Millenium

Of course it's from the AFA's Bryan Fischer:

Julian Assange Not the Bad Guy Here - The Homosexual Soldier Is

Is he serious? You bet he is!

The out-of-the-mainstream media has collaboratively kept the focus on the sex criminal, Julian Assange, and off the guy who has committed actual treason, the homosexual soldier Bradley Manning, who sold out his country in what may turn out to be fit of gay pique.

A "fit of gay pique!" It's not that PFC Manning thought that the public should know what is being done in their name. It couldn't possibly be that he is super-committed to freedom of information. No, it's just what gay guys do when they get into one of their little snits.

Manning was, at a minimum, seriously confused about his sexuality, and at worst, launched the WikiLeaks campaign to strike back at the military for its “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy, which he vehemently opposed. 

So, wait. You don't even know if he's gay? It might have been breeder pique? Or bi pique? Well, I guess that since he opposed DADT, he must be at least a little bit gay, right?
I think I see how this works. Let me try.
Um, Bryan Fischer is at a minimum a self-loathing closet queen and at worst writes his column to strike back at the gay guys for being so damn hot.

Regardless, he is a one-man argument for keeping open homosexuals from serving in the military in the first place. If the 1993 law - which flatly prohibits homosexuals from a place in the armed services - had been followed, there would be no PFC Bradley Manning and no WikiLeaks. 

He is a one-man argument for keeping open homosexuals from serving in the military, even though he might not be gay and if he is, he's apparently not all that open about it, since you, the most gay-obsessed man on the planet, don't even know if he's gay or just "seriously confused about his sexuality."

does not "flatly prohibit homosexuals from a place in the armed services." It allows gay lesbian or bisexual soldiers to serve as long as they keep their orientation a secret. Big difference.

Manning was quite open about his flirtation with all manner of sexual orientations on social networking sites, evidence the military could not use to discharge him because of inane rules established 
under DADT. 
DADT allows a soldier to serve as long as he keeps his sexual proclivities a secret. 

That's what I just said! 

It’s no wonder that the Old Media rarely if ever even references Manning any more. And I believe it is for one simple reason: Manning singlehandedly torpedoes their argument that homosexuals can be allowed to serve in our military without consequence. 

Well, it's hard to argue with flawless logic like that! Seeing as how one soldier who may or may not be gay did something bad completely un-related to sexuality, the only conclusion one can possibly draw is that the gays are all bad and shouldn't be allowed in the Army. Just like we had to kick all the white hetero trailer trash out of the military after the Abu Ghraib scandal.


Seriously Fischer, you need help. Dan Savage doesn't spend as much time thinking about gay sex as you do. You need to see a shrink. It's not healthy to keep your true desires bottled up inside. That's how people like you get obsessed. You're obsessed with the gay, Bryan. Either come out of that closet or shut the door so the rest of us don't have to hear you.