Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Goddammit, Florida! Really?

If you've ever been to Florida, then you know that pretty much everyone who lives their is just nuts. It's the kind of place where it makes perfect sense that of course Aaron Hernandez and Tim Tebow would be teammates and probably besties.

Forget it, Jake. It's Florida.

So of course Florida is the gun-humpinnest state in the Union. (nice try, Tennessee)

Well, it turns out, this being Florida, after all, that even the damn cops can't be trusted with guns!

Florida Cops Shoot Unarmed Black Man In His Mother’s Driveway

By Rebecca Leber on July 29, 2013 at 2:46 pm

This weekend, deputies from Escambia County, Florida shot an unarmed man who went to grab cigarettes from the car parked in the driveway of his mother’s home. A neighbor called police at 2 a.m. because he suspected 60-year-old Roy Middleton was stealing the car.

Roy Middleton, 60.
Roy Middleton, 60.
Doesn't look dangerous, but he might have been wearing a hoodie!

Why would sheriff's deputies shoot an unarmed man who wasn't even suspected of anything violent? Trick question, because it's fucking Florida!
Things quickly escalated when two deputies arrived and ordered Middleton to “get your hands where I can see them,” the Pensacola News Journal reports:
[Middleton] said he initially thought it was a neighbor joking with him, but when he turned his head he saw deputies standing halfway down his driveway.
He said he backed out of the vehicle with his hands raised, but when he turned to face the deputies, they immediately opened fire.
“It was like a firing squad,” he said. “Bullets were flying everywhere.”
The deputies reportedly fired about seven shots at the unarmed man;

Now here's the one positive thing about this being Florida is the cops fired seven shots and only connected once.

Several neighbors said they heard the commotion, but weren’t entirely sure why events unfolded the way they did.

"Oh, right, because we live in fucking Florida," they later added.

A teenage girl who said she witnessed a portion of the incident said she never saw Middleton provoke the deputies.
“He wasn’t belligerent or anything,“ she said.
Middleton, too, said he doesn’t understand how or why the incident escalated so quickly. He also said deputies never offered him an explanation or an apology.

Here's your explanation. It's fucking Florida!

Monday, July 29, 2013

So predictable

Several years ago, when we still lived in Northern California, we took a drive up to Oregon to visit the Missus's parents. In the area just above and below the CA/OR border, we saw several signs welcoming us to the State of Jefferson, the 51st State.

The most interesting state in the world

 From what we could gather at the time, the concept of Jefferson was that people in the far north of California and southern Oregon didn't feel like they were adequately represented in their respective state capitols and so wanted to break off into a new state of their own. Apparently, this idea goes back a long way. According to the Jefferson Public radio website:

The first recorded "rebellion" of Jeffersonians was quite serious and occurred in 1852. At the first California state legislature a bill was introduced to create a "State of Shasta" which encompassed much of what is now Jefferson. The bill died in committee but only because of the pressure of other legislative business.

Anyway. . . the only real reason I even bring this up is because of a flyer that Jeffersonians circulated in the 1940's which has maybe the funniest line ever written in a secessionist manifesto:
You are now entering Jefferson, the 49th State of the Union.
Jefferson is now in patriotic rebellion against the states of California and Oregon.
This State has seceded from California and Oregon this Thursday, November 27, 1941. Patriotic Jeffersonians intend to secede each Thursday until further notice.
(emphasis added by me because that is freakin hysterical!)
Now the people of Jefferson had some legitimate beefs back in the day. They paid their taxes same as anyone else, but they were kinda getting stiffed on government services, especially roads. And they had some fairly clever slogans along those lines like:

Sure, they weren't misspelt racist, or paranoid, but still, pretty clever.
Wouldn't have lasted 10 minutes in Jefferson

But, even thought their beef was legitimate, they never did end up seceding, the end.

Now, North Colorado, on the other hand. . .

Proposed new state in northern Colorado gains traction

A proposal backed by several Colorado counties to form a new state called North Colorado is getting public support.
More than four dozen people showed up Thursday at the first public meeting to discuss a proposal to form a 51st state. Nearly all of them said they support secession.

Four dozen people! Wow! That's almost as many people as the number of donuts eaten at the last meeting I attended! What a formidable group four dozen people is! Do you k=have any idea what 4 dozen people look like all gathered in one place?

In fairness, this is actually 55 people.

I mean, if this many people are in support, it's bound to pass!

But it's so sadly predictable. Every time right-wingers don't get their way, they want to take their bat and ball and go home. They had 8 years of GW Bush, six of those with Republican Congresses, and the minute the other guy takes office, you got your Rick Perrys and your Todd Palins wanting to secede from the damn Union. They don't like Obamacare, they want to shut down the entire government. Because majority rule is apparently only a guiding principle when they are in the majority.

So what long train of abuses and usurpations is causing 4 dozen people to dissolve the political bonds which have connected them with another?

I think people, when they feel disenfranchised, when they feel that their voices are not being heard, I think that’s a problem in a representative form of government,” Weld County commissioner Sean Conway was quoted as saying.

Oh, that does sound pretty bad. I can't imagine what that must feel like, as someone who opposed the war in Iraq and the bank bailout and wanted single-payer healthcare, I imagine it must be awful to not have your voice heard!
Anything more specific?

The five Weld County commissioners at the meeting said they support including the 51st state initiative on the county's ballot in November, The Greeley Tribune reported.
Commissioners say legislative efforts to crack down on energy drilling and gun laws are prime reasons for the movement.
“We believe there’s an attack on oil and gas,” commissioner Barbara Kirkmeyer said. “We believe there’s an attack on agriculture. I don’t think those down in Denver understand any of it.”

Oh, sure. Now it makes sense. You're going to secede from the state of Colorado because you feel so strongly that you must defend the rights of the oil and gas companies and gun manufacturers. Now I get it!

One other thing. For FOX, when thousands of protestors show up to occupy Wall Street, that's just an insignificant little group of hippies, but when an entire FOUR DOZEN show up to fake-secede from Colorado, that's an idea that is "Gaining Traction!"

Friday, July 26, 2013

Delusions of Grandeur

Remember when George W. Bush said that God told him what to do?
George Bush believes he is on a mission from God, according to the politician Nabil Shaath. Photograph: Charles Dharapak/AP 
 God would tell me, 'George go and fight these terrorists in Afghanistan'. And I did. And then God would tell me 'George, go and end the tyranny in Iraq'. And I did." (source)

Well, turns out he's not the only one with a messiah complex.

Ted Cruz's Father Tells Him 'God Has Destined You For Greatness'
 Submitted by Brian Tashman on Monday, 7/22/2013 1:20 pm -

Yeah, this guy. Obviously!
Here's what his wackadoo father had to say in an interview with David Broder:

Cruz: Yes, but you know something, it is not something that started a couple of years ago. Let me just go back to when he was maybe four. When he was four I used to read Bible stories to him all the time. And I would declare and proclaim the word of God over him.

Whast the fuck does that even mean, "Proclaim the Word of God over him?" I was raised in a fundamentalist household where we had little Bible lesson things every evening and I have no fucking idea what it means to "proclaim the Word of God over someone."  I know what it means to proclaim the word of God TO someone, but why OVER him?

And I would just say, ‘You know Ted, you have been gifted above any man that I know and God has destined you for greatness’

Um, you just said he was FOUR YEARS OLD, and he's gifted above any man you know? Do you know any men? Sorry, all the men that Cruz Senior knows, his four year old totally kicks all your asses.

I was on the state board of the Religious Roundtable, so when my son Ted was eight years old, all we talked about around the dinner table was politics because I was so involved with the Reagan campaign. So during that time is when I asked him so many times, ‘You know Ted, when I lost my freedom in Cuba I had a place to come to. If we lose our freedoms here where are we going to go? There is no place to go.’

Except for maybe Canada, where you were when Ted was born.
Or England.
Or France
Or Germany
Or Sweden
Or Portugal

Anyway, there are lots of places where one can go to be free. But sure, no place to go!!!!!

And soon even America will not be safe for freedom unless Ted Cruz, God's Favorite Four-Year-Old, can save her!

Or maybe Steve King, who is the closest thing to Jesus that Steve King has ever seen!

Truly this man was the Son of God!

In reference to having been asked "you didn't really say that thing about calves like cantaloupes, right? I mean no one would actually say that, not even someone as ridiculous as you, I mean you didn't actually mean that, right?" he comes up with this:

As you remember, Mr. Speaker, the high priest said to Jesus, did you really say those things? Did you really preach those things? And Jesus said to the high priest, as the Jews were watching, ask them. They were there, they can tell you. That was, Mr. Speaker, the assertion by Jesus that he had a right to face his accusers. That principle remains today in our law that we have a right to face our accusers. And when he said ‘ask them, they were there, they can tell you,’ he’s facing his accusers and demanding they testify against him rather than make allegations behind his back.”

 Yeah, that's totally the same thing. Being asked if you want to clarify your offensive comments is exactly like being on trial for your life in front of the Roman prefect. Obviously, if you say the wrong thing to the speaker, you could literally be nailed to a board and left to die in the  hot Jerusalem sun.

Also, I'm no theologian, but I don't think that Jesus was "asserting his right to face his accusers." At all. One thing about Jesus, he pretty much never asserted his rights. And his accusers were right there, he was already facing them. That's why he's able to say "ask them." To whom do you think he's referring to by "them?"

The Balls On This Fuckin Guy!

Pepper-spray lieutenant appeals for worker’s comp

The former police lieutenant who became the target of worldwide ire after dousing Occupy UC Davis protesters with pepper spray, John Pike, is appealing for worker’s compensation, claiming psychiatric injury caused by the Nov. 18, 2011, incident.

I don't even have a joke here. What a horrible, and yet pathetic, person.

Pop Culture Blaspheny Vol. II


Breakfast at Tiffany's

Okay, in fairness, I haven't seen the entire movie, but that's mainly because it was so boring I fell asleep before the end.

First, the most obvious problem with this movie, the shockingly racist performance by Mickey Rooney.

And you can say all you want about how "it was a different time," but there could not possibly have ever been a time when this insulting caricature could ever have been remotely acceptable.

But  Rooney aside, I think, and this is where the real blasphemy comes in, the biggest problem with this movie is that Audrey Hepburn is horribly miscast.

Don't get me wrong, I like Audrey Hepburn as much as the next fella, although I'll take Katherine any day, but she was all wrong for this role. Audrey Hepburn, an actress for whom the term "ingénue" could well have been coined as the free-spirited, devil-may-care, Auntie Mame character? It doesn't work. (And by the way, if anyone is not using "Auntie Maim" as a roller derby name yet, you're welcome!)

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

House republicans officially not even trying anymore

I know it has to be tough, trying to think up a new reason for faux outrage every day, but this is really just scraping the bottom of the phony indignation barrel.

House Republicans Fight Obama's 'War On Ceiling Fans'
Posted:   |  Updated: 07/24/2013 3:26 pm EDT

Are we really going to do this? Really?

Okay, fine, whatta ya got, Tennessee Rep Marsha Blackburn?

We've already seen the federal government stretch their regulatory tentacles into our homes and determine what kind of light bulbs we have to use," Blackburn said. "Now they’re coming after our ceiling fans. It is a sad state of affairs when even our ceiling fans aren't safe from this administration."

Oh my god! Look out, everyone, the big scary guv'mint is going to come to your house and, um . . . I don't know, take your fan? Or something? I guess? Anyway, the point is NO ONE IS SAFE! BE AFRAID!!!

"Why should we be regulating ceiling fans? Wouldn't you buy the one that is efficient that does the job -- aren't consumers wise enough?" said Rep. Steve King (R-Iowa).

Um, they were stupid enough to vote for Steve King, so probably not?

And I've bought a few ceiling fans in my day, I've never seen any energy efficiency information on the boxes. Maybe it's there, I don't know, but it's hard enough to find one that the Missus and I both like without having to figure out how many watts per minute it uses or whatever. And if people are going to buy the more efficient one anyway, what's the harm in having them all be efficient?

And now. . . The topper:

“We need to make our decisions not based on political wish lists, but we need to make it based upon real, true science,” Rep. Michele Bachmann told HuffPo when discussing the bill.

Yes, real true science says the woman who believes that HPV vaccinations can cause teens to suffer retardation.

And I replied, "oh, hi, mom!"

 Real True Science says the woman who thinks that global warming is some sort of hoax.
We need to base our decisions on real true science says the woman who believes that "hundreds and hundreds of  scientists" believe in intelligent design.

Make our decisions based upon real true science says the woman who thinks her husband has figured out how to de-gayify himself.

We prayed it away! Hooray science!

Monday, July 22, 2013

Committing Pop-Culture Blasphemy Volume I

People and things I think are overrated. Not necessarily bad, just not as good as everyone seems to think they are.

1. Paul Thomas Anderson

I enjoyed There Will Be Blood as much as the next guy, but I'm pretty sure that was mostly due to Daniel Day Lewis's eccentric performance as Daniel Plainview.

 And I had a real problem with the ending. It felt like at some point someone looked at his watch and went "holy fuck, it's been that long? Wrap it up. I dunno, just kill the preacher guy, maybe?'" t's so out of the blue, since plainview clearly seems to relish the idea of keeping the kid around to watch him grovel and squirm. Killing him spoils all his fun.

Magnolia, on the other hand was the worst 7 and a half hours I have ever spent in a theater. (it felt that long) The Tom Cruise character, especially was so ridiculous. This guy is supposed to have built a successful business standing on stage yelling "respect the cock!"?
His seminar is called "Seduce and Destroy." Now, I get that there would be a big market for a guy who could teach ordinary schmucks how to seduce women, but why the destroy? Is there really a big demographic out there thinking, I'd like to be able to have sex with women, but I also want to be able to inflict some sort of emotional damage on them at the same time. If only there were a guy who could teach me. . . say, what about that creepy little guy strutting around screaming about 'respecting cocks' and 'taming c*nts?'"

That's a guy from whom I'd seek guidance!
And the whole 'sins of the fathers" theme, did any one NOT find that incredibly heavy-handed? Geezuz, we got it 2 hours ago, run the fucking credits!
Boogie Nights was, of course, the film that answered the eternal question "is it possible to make a movie slap-full of sex and nakedness and still be kinda boring?" Okay, I'm not saying "boogie Nights" was a BAD movie, it was just sort of okay, but for some reason the critics treated it like the second coming of Citizen Kane, and honest to God, it just wasn't anything to write home about.

Only a gifted director could get Mark Wahlberg to act dumb as a post and Burt Reynolds to play a convincing egomaniac!

I have not seen "The Master," but everything I've heard about it seems to consist of people tying themselves in knots trying to come up with a reason to say that they loved it because it's Paul Thomas Anderson and if you're a film person you're required to love everything he does.

Sunday, July 21, 2013

Meanwhile, In News no One Gives A Shit About. . .

Philippe becomes new Belgian king as Albert II abdicates
21 July 2013 Last updated at 08:41 ET

Abdicates? Why would the king of Belgium abdicate? What possible responsibilities could the king of Belgium have that he no longer felt capable of handling? I mean, Belgium is a modern democracy, right? They have a parliament and a Prime Minister or President or whatever, right? What is it about the ceremonial role of figurehead that was just getting to be too much for the king?


(Probably not the actual King of Belgium)
In his final address before signing a legislative act to step down, 79-year-old King Albert said his country must remain a "source of inspiration" to Europe.

Um "remain?" Remain a source of inspiration? One would think that in order to serve as a source of inspiration to other nations those other nations would have to have noticed that you exist.
I kid, I kid. . .
Actually, Belgium is, as far as I can tell, a hell of a place.
I mean for starters, this is a statue of one of their national heroes:
Yeah, pissing boy! I'm not even being sarcastic, how fucking cool is that?
We owe Belgium a debt of gratitude for quite a few things.
They invented "French" Fries!
My cardiologist thanks you!

They improved chocolate

 Perfected the waffle

And turned beer into an art form!

Really, what's not to like about Belgium?

Oh, right!

Friday, July 19, 2013

This is what we're up against

There's a sign you've probably seen if you've ever been to or watched footage of any pro-choice rally or any other pro-progressive demonstration. there are any number of different versions, but they all boil down to some version of this:

Well, guess what? Believe it.

 If you believe one thing, believe this. They will never ever EVER quit.

The right wing is like the Terminator. It has no feelings, no emotions, it cannot be reasoned with. And it absolutely will not stop ever until you are dead! (paraphrase)

This is partly because, no matter how insane their ideas sound, there area a lot of true believers on the retrograde right. But also because they have a bottomless supply of money to hire professional wingnuts and build up their alternate-reality infrastructure.

This is what we're up against:

The answer is 'Hitler'

Billboards are NOT cheap. I don't know exactly how much they cost, but some kook came up with the idea to use a fake quote that has been falsely attributed to Hitler to make a phony point about gun control and this kook was able to get the money to do it.
Does it matter that this is total bullshit? That Hitler never said this? That he in fact relaxed the gun laws that had been in place during the Weimar Republic? No. Because someone will believe it. And the amount of money spent to maybe convince one gullible sap that gun control is somehow Hitlerian is worth it because the right has an endless supply of Kochs and Waltons and Coorses and Scaifes to fund as many ridiculous right-wing myth-making projects as they can come up with. Hell, remember the anti-Arab posters Pam Geller got put up in NYC subway stations? You think those were cheap? No. You think she scrimped and saved to pay for 'em? Hell No. I don't know if she got some eccentric billionaire sugar daddy money or a whole bunch of deluded pensioners sending in their social security money, but money will always show up for right-wing nonsense and hatred.

So, yeah, you're gonna have to fight this shit again. And again. And again. Because right-wing ideology never dies. No matter how many times you rebuff their advances, there they are in the next election cycle, ready to fight the same battle all over again. And they'll be there the next election and the next, just waiting for decency to let its guard down. You think you've destroyed a right-wing idea? It comes back as a zombie. Or a vampire, or Jason Voorhies, or I don't know, the point is they are never really dead.

This guy was off the Sunday talk shows for what, a year?

You think an issue is settled? Think again. You thought maybe Roe v. Wade settled the abortion issue? Guess again! That battle is just beginning to be re-fought.

You thought maybe we no longer lived in an era in which the government had any right to regulate what you do in your bedroom?

Virginia Gubernatorial Candidate Campaigns On Effort To Restore Ban On Oral Sex

In an unusual move, Virginia Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli II (R), his party’s nominee for governor, launched a new campaign website Wednesday highlighting his efforts to reinstate Virginia’s unconstitutional Crimes Against Nature law.

You thought the Lawrence decision was the final word on whether government had a say in your boudoir? Hell, that was ten years ago, the troglodytes are coming out swingin' for round two! (okay, probably not swinging, exactly, but you get the idea)

Did you think that some things were so settled, so widely agreed-upon as to not even merit being the subject of debate? Like maybe the idea that kids should attend school? Wrong again, Pollyanna!

Accountability for Parents + Respect for Teachers
A Practical Argument for Ending Compulsory Education in UtahRenewing Accountability for Parents and Respect for Educators
By Senator Aaron Osmond

Yep, that's a state senator from Utah proposing that kids no longer be required to get an education!

And, yes, he's one of those Osmonds.

Check out his diatribe here, if you aren't sure whether he's deadly serious. He waxes nostalgic for a time when education was not compulsory and parents decided whether to send their kids to school or into the factories and mines. And he thinks that parents should take it upon themselves to teach their kids the principles  of physics and chemistry and biology, because anything that a kid wouldn't have learned pre-1890's probably isn't worth knowing anyway?

And this is the picture he uses to illustrate his argument:

Because, I guess that was the sort of place where future micro-biologists and electronic engineers could be trained up in his fantasy world?

This shit is not going to ever stop. It's only getting worse. For Gods' sake, Christine O'Donnell has just re-surfaced (no, really)
There is no level of disgrace from which these people can not resurrect themselves, and there will always be media outlets to give them platforms.

So, yeah, we have to protest this shit again. And again. And again. But also, we have to take a page from their book
No, the other one
No, I mean their playbook.

 I mean decent, sane people need to follow the example of the lunatic right and vote. Not just for president. Even if Barack Obama had turned out to be the progressive we had hoped for, there's only so much he could have done (although, something?) We have to turn up for mid-term elections. We have to turn up for primaries, before the decent progressive candidates get weeded out. We have to vote for State Assemblies, because they're the ones who do the re-districting every ten years. (or whenever the hell they feel like it in Texas) We have to vote for mayors and school board members and city councilmembers and goddammned dog-catchers if that's what it takes. They know how important voting is, why do you think they work so hard to restrict it? I mean, everyone thought the voting rights act was settled law, right? Well guess again!
That's the kind of shit we're up against!

Thursday, July 18, 2013

The most pathetic, ridiculous person in the World!

Remember Suzanne Venker?

I think she's the granddaughter or niece or something of part-time harpy and full-time H.P. Lovecraft character Phyllis Schlafly. When last I was aware of her existence, she was writing about the "War on Men" which frightened me a little until I realized that her extreme depths of self-loathing had simply driven her stark mad and of course there was no such war.


Anyway, she's Ba-aaaack!!

And more ridiculous than ever.

Men -- the new second class citizens

And, yes, she's dead serious.

Men are now second-class citizens. And she's got proof!

The most obvious proof is male bashing in the media. It is rampant and irrefutable.

Irrefutable! Odd that something which is obviously a matter of opinion could be considered irrefutable. Also, something which could be easily refuted, but I'm just going to assume that irrefutable is just not a word that she really knows.

What I don't know could fill a dictionary!

It is rampant and irrefutable. From sit-coms and commercials that portray dad as an idiot to biased news reports about the state of American men, males are pounced on left and right. And that’s just the beginning.

Also the end! 
You know, I will readily concede that a lot of sit-coms and commercials portray dads as bumbling oafs, and that is kind of annoying, although more annoying as lazy writing than as any kind of actual harm being cause to anyone, but I would submit that for every sit-com husband portrayed as a n incompetent boob there is a sit-com wife portrayed as a bitchy shrew, so I'm not sure that either gender really comes out ahead in that equation.

Never mind, we have a winner!

The war on men actually begins in grade school, where boys are at a distinct disadvantage. Not only are curriculums centered on girls’, rather than boys,’ interests, the emphasis in these grades is on sitting still at a desk.

Okay, first of all, the plural of curriculum is curricula, which I would think you would know had the grade school you attended been so totally focused on the interests of girls. Also, I had no idea that girls were so interested in readin' writin' and 'rithmetic. The girls I knew in grade school were more interested in playing kickball at recess and going home to watch cartoons, same as the boys, but I guess times have changed. Also, are you saying that sitting still at a desk is something that only girls are good at?

Plus, many schools have eliminated recess.

Which I thought was a result of budget cuts, but I guess it could be part of the vast anti-boy conspiracy?

many schools have eliminated recess. Such an environment is unhealthy for boys, for they are active by nature and need to run around.

Um, have you ever met any girls? they run around all the time. I know my nieces sure as hell did when they were little. You know, it's not usually girls that have to be pried away from World of Warcraft and Cool Ranch Doritos to be forced to spend one goddamm minute out in the fresh air and sunshine.

So active by nature!

they are active by nature and need to run around. And when they can’t sit still teachers and administrators often wrongly attribute their restlessness to ADD or ADHD. The message is clear: boys are just unruly girls.

Um, that may be the least clear message I have ever heard. How are boys unruly girls? If girls become unruly enough, do they become boys? Do ADHD medications turn boys into girls?

Things are no better in college. There, young men face the perils of Title IX, the 1972 law designed to ban sex discrimination in all educational programs. 

Um, I went to college in the late '80's. And most of the '90's. (I wasn't the best student), and I don't remember facing any peril of any kind, certainly not from Title IX. I somehow managed to get through my entire college career on several campuses without ever being put in peril by the women's basketball team.

Under Title IX, the ratio of female athletes is supposed to match the ratio of female students. So if not enough women sign up for, say, wrestling and ice hockey, well then: no more wrestling and ice hockey. 

Okay, let's pretend that that's how Title IX works, since you clearly have no idea how it does work, is that really what you consider "peril?" Really? 'Peril?" The University cancels ice hockey? Oh, no! How will men survive? I mean, you do know what peril means, right?


Definition of PERIL

1 : exposure to the risk of being injured, destroyed, or lost : danger peril

 Anyway, up to this point, Venker's article is really just silly. But fasten your safety belts, it's about to get horrifying:

Title IX is also abused when it comes to sex. In 1977, a group of women at Yale used Title IX to claim sexual harassment and violence constitute discrimination against women

Wait. Sexual harassment and violence DON"T constitute discrimination? I mean, I guess you could say that discrimination is not strong enough a word to describe sexual harassment and violence, but I'm going to go ahead and guess that that's not what you mean.

Genuine harassment and violence should be punishable offenses, obviously.

Whoa! Whoa! What are you trying to do, get fired by FOX?

Genuine harassment and violence should be punishable offenses, obviously. But the college campus is a breeding ground for sexual activity, which makes determining wrongdoing (and using Title IX to prove it) extremely difficult.

Actually, it's pretty easy to determine wrongdoing. In the real world where the rest of us live, it's incredibly easy to distinguish between, say, consensual and non-consensual sexual contact. If you're having difficulty, just find a normal person and ask her.

Sexual misconduct does not necessarily constitute harassment—and women have as much of a role to play as men do.

Oh, wait. I get it now. You're one of those people. Those people who consider any non-,marital, non-procreative sexy funtimes "sexual misconduct." So for you, I guess it would be difficult to assess who is to blame for a consensual hook-up. It's just that the rest of us don't see a need to assign any "blame" for a consensual encounter. For non-consensual sex, assigning blame is really really easy.

Here again men are in an impossible situation, for there’s an unspoken commandment when it comes to sex in America: thou shalt never blame the woman. If you’re a man who’s sexually involved with a woman and something goes wrong, it’s your fault. Simple as that.

Um, are you at all familiar with the internet? Because if you are, may IO recommend that you go to any news story that concerns abortion, contraception, or sex at all and scroll through the comments. See how long it takes you to find the "stupid slut should have kept her legs shut" section. Should take about 7 seconds, especially at your employers' site.

Also, what kind of a sick fuck refers to rape or sexual assault as "something goes wrong?"

Now I'm sure you're probably all thinking at this point that Venker has hit rock bottom. Keep digging!

When men become husbands and fathers, things get really bad. In family courts throughout America, men are routinely stripped of their rights and due process. The Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) is easily used against them since its definition of violence is so broad that virtually any conflict between partners can be considered abuse.

You just. . . You think you've heard everything. . .and then. . . Oh my God!

If a woman gets angry for any reason, she can simply accuse a man and men are just assumed guilty in our society,” notes Dr. Helen Smith, author of the new book, "Men on Strike." This is particularly heinous since, as Smith adds, violence in domestic relations “is almost 50% from men and 50% from women.”

Who the fuck is Helen Smith? How are there two of these women? I would have thought you'd be hard pressed to find ONE woman to be an apologist for domestic violence. There are TWO?  I am shocked!

Shocked? If so, that’s in part because the media don’t believe men can be victims of domestic violence—so they don’t report it. They would rather feed off stories that paint women as victims. And in so doing, they’ve convinced America there’s a war on women.

Oh my God!

And sure, the media would NEEEEEVER report on men being victims of domestic violence! You know how they hate a man bites dog story like that!

April 4, 2002 | From Times Staff Reports
Actress Tawny Kitaen Finley was charged Wednesday with injuring her husband, former Anaheim Angels pitcher Chuck Finley, during an argument.

Lionel Richie's Wife Beat Him Up After Catching Him Cheating

18. Lionel Richie's Wife Beat Him Up After Catching Him Cheating

 Yet it is males who suffer in our society. From boyhood through adulthood, the White American Male must fight his way through a litany of taunts, assumptions and grievances about his very existence. His oppression is unlike anything American women have faced

You know, I gotta think Mr. Venker's got it pretttty sweet.

Hon, what time are you going to be home?
Goddammit, Suzanne, stop oppressing me!
Oh, I'm sorry you're right. I'm so darn insensitive to your plight!

Um, Honey, whose undies are these I found in your car?
Oh, here we go! I guess I'm just a second-class citizen around here, right? Society just automatically assumes I'm guilty!
Oh, I'm sorry, dear. You've obviously suffered enough. You go ahead and bang whomever you like if it will help make up for the hurt that womankind has heaped upon your people lo these many years.

Ladies and gentleman, presenting Suzanne Venker.
The most pathetic ridiculous person in the world!

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

I know I could use some good news.

After the absolute horror of the Zimmerman verdict and the even more sickening spectacle of scumbags celebrating it, I know I could use some little bit of news that might make me feel a bit less hopeless about this human race.

Oh, here's something:

2:29 pm July 15, 2013

‘Ex-Gay Pride Month’ Event Cancelled Because Of Gays Doing Invisible Terrorism

Read more at http://wonkette.com/#VrxBx7LORbvxmr70.99 

Yes, due to the extremely real threat of "anti-ex-gay" bullying, and not at all due to the fact that no one was going to show up, and also totally not due to the concern that the event might turn into a big gay orgy, the "Ex-Gay Pride" Event has been cancelled.

Well, not exactly cancelled, just moved to an "undisclosed location" where no prying eyes will be able to see whether or not anyone has shown up or whether it has in fact become a big gay orgy which it most certainly will not have. But let "Voice of the Non-Existent Voiceless" spokesman Christopher "I love boobies" Doyle explain:
(VIA: http://www.voiceofthevoiceless.info/ex-gay-pride-still-alive-despite-anti-ex-gay-extremism/)

Due to some anti-ex-gay extremism that has occurred since we first announced Ex-Gay Pride 2013, the July 31 Lobbying Day on Capitol Hill and Evening Dinner/Reception at the Family Research Council has had to be moved and postponed to an undisclosed location in September.

Truth Wins Out director Wayne "I have no problem admitting that I don't much care for boobies" Bessen has issued a statement challenging "VOV" to name any or all of the supposed persons or organizations that have been intimidating or bullying or threatening the Ex-Gay community. Shockingly, VOV has yet to respond in any way, probably because they fear even more retaliation from "that guy I made up," and "that group that that my friend's cousin said he had heard about from some guy he made up."

And here is my favorite part from the statement issued by Voice of the Voiceless Who Have No Voice Because They Don't Actually Exist:
The closing paragraph states:
July’s First Annual Ex-Gay Pride Month is only the beginning. September’s Ex-Gay Awareness Month in schools across the country is only a start. Our voices will be heard. We will no longer be shut out. We will no longer hide in the shadows.

Which is only funny if one hearkens back to the first paragraph of the press release which states that the "ex-Gay" event  "has had to be moved and postponed to an undisclosed location in September." Which kinda sorta feels like hiding in the shadows, but hey, what do I know?

Cheered up yet? Only a little? Well, how about this headline?

Athens tea party group to hold fundraisers to get $65,000 owed to event speakers

Yes, the Athens, GA Tea Party (and apparently, even the home of Micheal Stipe, Fred Schneider, and Kim Basinger has a fucking tea party) found out the answer to the age-old question "what if they gave a douchenozzle rally and no one came?" Or more accurately, no one came except for people who were getting paid to be there. Or to be even more accurate, people who thought that they were going to be paid to be there but then there was no money to pay them because no one bought any tickets because this may be Georgia, but this is Athens!

Keyantwon Stephens, the 17-year-old chair and founder the Athens-Clarke County Tea Party Patriots, said a press conference is planned for today to address the matter in more detail.

The 17-year-old chair!

17-year-old chair and founder. . . who could possibly have foreseen this not going well?

After the Classic Center canceled the event, organizers moved it to the Comfort Inn and Suites, where they paid in cash, Stephens said. He said the final tally for the event was 92 people

Jack Nicholson lol gif

hahahahaha Ninety-Two!

Wright told Athens-Clarke police that the crowd was supposed to be about 2,500, a size others working with the convention said they expected.

lol gif

O my God. . .they thought. . .A-ha-ha-ha-ha. . .they thought 2,500. . .Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha!  2,500 people!

The Athens-Clarke County Tea Party Patriots formed in April 2012 and has 127 member, Stephens said.

 lol laugh laughing lol laugh laughing

A-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!! They have 127 Members! HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! 127 Memebers and they still only sold 92 tickets!!! They couldn't even get half their own members to show up!!!!

lol laughing laugh lol laughing laugh