Monday, July 28, 2014

The World's Worst Cartoonist

Granted, I haven't actually seen every cartoonist in the world, but it's hard to imagine one worse than Michael Ramirez.

Ramiriez writes (?) Draws (?) whatever for Investor's Business Daily which means that by all rights I should never have had to have heard of this hack, but our local paper, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution has been running his ink turds a lot lately.

See, the AJC is home to Pulitzer-Prize winning editorial cartoonist Mike Luckovich. So, since he is apparently viewed as something of a lefty-loosey, of course there has to be some "balance," hence the AJC's "from the Right" cartoon that must always be run next to his.

Basically, Ramirex is Exhibit A in the case of "Conservatives Should Never Try to be Funny Ever."

This is the first one of his I remember noticing:

There is an almost impressive ammount of douchehackery in this one panel.

Let's start with the fact that this 35-year-old movie reference would only make sense if this was 2012 and Barack Obama had lost his re-election bid and was having to leave the White House with his tail between his legs. It still would be a flaccid, lazy attempt at a spiteful joke, but at least it would make some kind of sense. Or if Republicans were to succeed at an impeachment or maybe force his resignation in some way, I don't know, but none of those things have happened. Look it up.

Then there's the tag-line "Taking America from Riches to Rags," which completely ignores the reality that Obama inherited an economy in shambles and has managed, in the face of unprecedented obstructionism, to make serious improvements. No, he hasn't fixed all of our economic problems. No, the stimulus wasn't big enough. No, the economy is not exactly booming, but to claim that he has taken America from "riches to rags" is close to the opposite of what really happened. And in order for a joke to be funny, it has to be based on some sort of reality.

Also, tossing the mention of "golf clubs" in there is just cheap shoddy ineptitude.

Then there's this one:

I'm not even sure what the point of this is supposed to be.

I get the "Hamas using human shields" thing. Does Hamas use human shields? I don't know, but the right certainly takes it as an article of faith that they do, so let's assume for the moment that they do. What does that have to do with Barack Obama supposedly giving "amnesty" to Central American refugee children? Fuck if I know.
If Barack Obama was giving "amnesty" to these kids, that would hardly be using them as human shields. With any act of kindness he might extend towards these kids, he just opens himself up to barrages of vitriol and accusations from the Right-Wing lunatics that dominate the opposition. This is pretty much the opposite of using someone as a human shield.

Also, not to tell you how to do your job there, Mike, but the "Hamas" headband belongs on the heavily-armed adult, not on the innocent child. Unless you're trying to say that the child is a member of Hamas? You put the label on the person or thing to whom it refers. That's just political cartooning 101. In the same way, the child on the right should not be labeled "Amnesty." If you want to say that Barack Obama is giving kids amnesty, you draw Obama handing the child a gift-wrapped box, and you label the box "Amnesty." Otherwise it makes no fucking sense.

So. . . um. . . . Putin is bad?

Good one?

Then, because for the Right, there's never a bad time to exploit the tragedy of 9/11, we got this journalistic loogie hocked onto our papers on July 22:

 Gawd, how many things are wrong with this one?

First of all, No one has forgotten or ever will forget 9/11. That's just fucking stupid to even suggest.

Second of all, No one is saying that America's borders should be wide open. Well, a few people, maybe, but on July 22, 2014 what we are talking about is allowing child refugees to come into our nation for their own safety. Not having open borders.
See, a conservative will never ever ever argue anything honestly. They won't ever say "here's the problems I see with the Affordable Care Act." They will scream "Death Panels!" and "tyranny!" and "Hitler!!!"
They won't say "here's my objection to the Estate Tax." They'll say "Aughhh, paying taxes twice on the same monies!" or "Deat Tax!" or "Job Creators!"

So of course they won't just come out and say "here's why I think we should slam the door in the faces of terrified children." It's much easier to attack the straw man who says "throw open the borders!"

Also, in the cartoon, who is saying "America's doors should be wide open?" The terrorists? Is that who you think you are arguing against?

And the terrorists who crashed the planes on 9/11 did not walk across our southern border. And even if they had, they crertainly wouldn't have done it disguised as 6-year-old Hondurans.

Also, this whole thing is in EXTREMELY bad taste.

What else you got?

So, these dead people are the murderers? Or are you saying that  they were murdered by Hamas? Because a hell of a lot more people (civilians, children, women, etc) are being murdered by Israel;i forces then Hamas could ever dream of murdering. And making a cheap pun of mass murder? Kind of tasteless.

Says the guy who wants to keep liberty-seeking children out.

I guess the point is that before Obama, Al Queada never managed to strike on American soil. . . oh, wait!
I guess the point is how many more terrorist attacks have happened here since Obama took over. . .oh wait!
I'm stumped, what is the point?

Right, only people with absurdly impractical degrees are saddled with enormous student loan debt. No one with degrees in business, or engineering, or medicine, or . . . oh, wait. Yeah they all do. Jokes are so much funnier when they have no basis in reality. It's just so fucking funny to satirize a situation that doesn't actually exist.

At this point, I should probably point out that all these comics are from July. This is all from less than one month. Seriously, Michale Ramirez is the worst cartoonist in the world. Probably the worstg cartoonist in history. Just absolutely terrible.