Friday, February 12, 2016

So this is a thing that exists

So I heard about this weird thing called "Wake Up, Sleeping Beauty!" in an article on Raw Story.

The first thing I saw on their website was a video of a couple talking about how they met and married and it seemed like yet another dating/matchmaking site. But no. That video, which is labeled as the group's promotional video is a bit misleading, considering that it's meant to be shown to potential customers to interest them in your services. Because things get weird pretty quick.

Like this:

Vision Statement: Delivering “True Love’s Kiss” to awaken and empower nations!

Okay, "True Love's Kiss" sounds like Disney.

Sounds like something you might market to tween girls. But then "to awaken and empower nations?" That got pretty crazy pretty quick!

And on their Facebook page, they use weirdo terms like


Which seems pretty creepy.

Anyway, it takes a bit of digging to find out what this group actually  is about.  But I finally did find a video on their Facebook page Where a man pushes a girl of maybe 5 or 6 on a swing while talking about preserving her "purity."

So it's one of those.

Two other promotional videos have been removed from the website, but according to Raw Story:

In promotional videos on the Wake Up Ministries website, Fellhauer warns girls about the “gag reflex” caused by kissing with your tongue. 

Yeah, just because everyone you ever kissed threw up on your shoes doesn't mean that other girls will have that experience.

Oh, and there are testimonials:

June’s Wake Up, Sleeping Beauty is unique! It capitalizes on the universal romantic outlook of all teenage girls. Her exceptional ability to correlate the wistful longing of a modern young woman to find the husband of her dreams to the Old Testament story of King Solomon is the reason this Bible study is distinctive.
Yep, nothing will inspire a young lady to search out an ideal husband like telling her the story of a man with 700 wives and 300 mistresses!

The challenge on fasting brought me closer to the Lord. I had very good and long conversations with my Lord. 

Okay, if you're hearing the voice of God, you've been fasting too long. eat something now before you pass out and die!

I loved writing the letter to my future husband. I felt as if I was talking to God more than the guy I’m going to marry. 

--Michelle-Age 13

Well, yeah. Since future guy, if he even exists,  isn't going to see this letter, you are talking to God at least as much as imaginary future man.

Also from RS:

“I think ‘Wake Up Sleeping Beauty’ is an amazing program,” one girl declares in the video. “Especially going through the time that I was, being cheated on. That was really hard for me but it also made me realize a lot that I needed to forgive him and he didn’t have the qualities I was looking for in a husband.”

 So, you're dating a boy. He's cheating on you. And it takes a seminar with a weirdo anti-sex lady for you to get the idea that this boy might not be good husband material?

Oh,but anyway, the reason this organization merited an article in the first place was because of this:

Parents in Colorado have complained that a school district used its email system to advertise a Christian event which uses Bible lessons to encourage girls as young as 11 to stay “pure” while looking for a husband.
Colorado blogger Anne Landman first reported that the Western Colorado Atheists and Freethinkers had been contacted by parents after Mesa Valley School District 51 sent out an email promotion for an event called “Wake Up Sleeping Beauty: Worship At His Feet.”
The flier includes the silhouette of a girl’s face with a Bible verse from Luke 7:38.

Geez, what are they smoking in Colorado?

Oh, right!