Monday, September 24, 2018

fun with headlines

Policewoman fired after neighbor is shot dead

You could be forgiven, if you were unfamiliar with the story, for wondering what these two incidents have to do with each other. A better headline might be: "Policewoman Fired After She Shoots, Kills Her Neighbor."
"Policewoman shoots neighbor in his own home, is fired only after public outcry."

  • Wait. Are you telling me that all these years later, this person is no longer a small child?  You'd beeter have some solid proof to back up that claim, mister!

The Royal Family's First Same-Sex Wedding Happened This Weekend

Lord Ivar Mountbatten married James Coyle on Saturday.

Finally, a royal couple that won't be inbreeding!

Who Is Tiger Woods' Girlfriend Erica Herman? Everything to Know

First thing to know: It doesn't concern you.
Second thing to know: It's not your business.
Third thing to know: You have no reason to give a shit.

Subway Manager Reveals the Sandwich You Should Never Order

Hint: it rhymes with "schmanything from Schmubway."

Kim Kardashian Has the Best Response to a Fan Claiming She Makes Everything About Herself

Is it "Why in the hell are you a 'fan' of someone who has never accomplished a single thing?"