Saturday, December 16, 2017

Catching up on this week

Well, some crazy shit happened this week (which I guess is pretty much the new normal) and I haven't been online a whole lot, so let's see about getting caught up here, hmm?

Let's see, well Doug Jones defeated kiddy-diddling theocratic racist Roy Moore in the race for Alabama's open Senate seat, and of course conservatives took the loss with dignity, licked their wounds , and vowed to do better next time - ahahaha, of course they didn't!

Because the only way this disgusting sexual predator, who was already an embarrassment to the state before his predation became well known, could possibly have lost is by some sort of cheating! Ordinarily you'd expect people to line up around the block to vote for a guy who molested girls too young to drive!

Obviously, the only logical explanation is that someone(not naming names, but maybe rhymes with Schmoros?) got thousands of Mississippians to drive across the border, somehow get registered to vote in a state with strict voter ID laws despite not having Alabama addresses, somehow all get to the DMV and con someone into issuing them drivers' licenses in time for the election, then somehow got their new IDs mailed to. . . I don't know I guess whatever hotels they were all staying in? Or to their home addresses in Mississippi somehow? I don't know. And then turn up to vote for Jones, all without raising any suspicion in the Republican Secretary of State, or Republican board of elections, any part of the Republican-dominated state government who just somehow didn't notice this sudden surge in the voting population. I mean, think about it, it's the only thing that makes sense! Wake UP, sheeple!!!

Or maybe there's an even more logical explanation:

Kevin Swanson Blames Roy Moore’s Loss On Alabama’s Love Of Pornography

On his radio program yesterday, extremist anti-LGBTQ pastor Kevin Swanson reacted to Roy Moore’s loss in the Senate election in Alabama earlier this week by blaming it on the state’s love of pornography, which he also warned is turning children gay.

Turning. Children. Gay.

You know, if watching porn turned people gay there wouldn't be a hetero man left in the fucking world. Which, honestly, would probably be an improvement.

Swanson, who interviewed Moore on his program earlier this year, told his audience that Alabama was among the states where people spent the most time on the website Pornhub in 2016, which lead him to conclude that it was no coincidence that Moore lost because “that state probably has significant sexual problems, especially since Doug Jones is so in favor of sexual perversion, transgenderism and homosexuality. Evidently, the state of Alabama must have a problem with sexuality. It’s obvious.”

Yes. Sexual perversion. Not wholesome loving sexual activity like feeling up a frightened 14-year-old or trying to force a 16-year-old to blow you in an alley.

“Unless there is a spiritual awakening,” Swanson added, “I think these conservative states are going to become liberal in their moral values within another five, 10, or 20 years."

If the fathers are doing pornography, the kids are going to turn into homosexuals. The fathers will hide their sin and the children will come out of the closet with it. By the way, the top porn search word in Alabama and Mississippi is ‘lesbian.’ So another indication that the father’s generation is dabbling in porn, the children’s generation will go head over heels for some of the most egregious sexual crimes that men ever engage in.”

Yeah. . . um, I don't know how to explain this politely, but men don't engage in "Lesbian" anything. Also, the reason a lot of hetero men search for lesbian porn is because they specifically do not want to see any dicks while they're jerking off, so I'm really confused as to how this is gonna turn their kids gay. Also, too, there is just absolutely zero logic to any of your thesis.

Let's see, what else?
Oh,  a lot of women have been using the hashtag #MeToo to share their experiences with sexual assault/harassment. And a lot of people have been offering their shitty takes on this trend. If you had Laura Ingraham in the "who is going to have the shittiest take on this phenomenon" pool, congratulations! 'Cause I think she did.

Laura Ingraham: Is The #MeToo Movement ‘Killing All the Fun of Christmas’?

“Is the #MeToo movement becoming a spoiler for this season’s Christmas parties?” Ingraham asked during a segment on last night’s The Ingraham Angle.
Speaking to conservative comedian Jimmy Failla, Ingraham wondered aloud if the recent spate of powerful men being outed for sexual misconduct and harassment would make for a less festive mood this holiday season.
“No alcohol and no fun and no lampshades and, I don’t know, maybe that’s better,” she noted. “Is this just killing all the fun of Christmas?”

Oh my God, yes! I mean, music, food and drinks, secret-Santa gifts, those are all fine and good, but if you can't even grab a co-worker by the p**sy, I mean, what's the point of Christmas anyway?

The reason for the season!

What else? Oh, Matthew Peterson, who ostensibly attended some law school somewhere humiliated himself in front of Congress with his inability to answer any basic questions about law.

Oh, and Orange Julius Caesar commemorated the 5th anniversary of the Sandy Hook gun massacre by inviting the depraved, sociopathic head of the NRA to party in the White House. MAGA, motherfuckers!