Tuesday, May 5, 2020

Bad Ads -- Domino's Pizza

This is some condescending bullshit.

Look, there is absolutely nothing wrong with saying"because of the Corona Virus Crisis, we're doing a lot more deliveries so we need to hire some drivers. I f you're looking for a job, we're hiring."  That's perfectly fine. No one would bew offended by that. There's no need to sugarcoat that. But don't sit there and look me in the eye with a straight face and pretend that you're performing some kind of a public service. "we're committed to helping YOU put food on YOUR table." No you're not. No you're fucking not. Don't pretend you give a shit about us. Do not - do NOT - dare to act like you're doing people some kind of a favor by hiring them to deliver your "pizza." Like we don't know that having pizzas delivered is the lifeblood of your business? Like we don't know that this is your business model 12 months a year?
You're actually going to sit there and pretend that you're not in the "pizza" business to make money - oh, no, perish the thought! We're just civic-minded people who are committed to putting food on people's tables during this time of crisis! We only want to help!
Jesus Christ, how stupid do you think we are?
Just say you're hiring drivers because you need drivers. We're all fine with that. No one is going to get their nose out of joint because you're making a rational business decision. Because for once, the rational business decision isn't hurting anyone. It might actually even help some folks. But we know damn well that folks getting helped is just a byproduct of your hiring needs. We know why you're hiring drivers and we're fine with that. You don't need to lie to our faces.

P.S. your pizza sucks.