Friday, April 14, 2017

Why is this in a newspaper?

Look, I know the New York Post is garbage. Rupert-Murdoch-owned garbage. But you's think they'd have some sort of standards. No?

Why I won’t date hot women anymore

Um, mostly because they keep saying "no?"

When it came to dating in New York as a 30-something executive in private equity, Dan Rochkind had no problem snagging the city’s most beautiful women.
“I could have [anyone] I wanted,” says Rochkind, now 40 and an Upper East Sider with a muscular build and a full head of hair. “I met some nice people, but realistically I went for the hottest girl you could find.”

You left out "Dear Penthouse Forum. . . "

He spent the better part of his 30s going on up to three dates a week, courting 20-something blond models, but eventually realized that dating the prettiest young things had its drawbacks — he found them flighty, selfish and vapid.

And if there's one thing that a guy who goes for the hottest girls he can find can't stand, it's people who are selfish and vapid!

Hmmph! They're so shallow!

“Beautiful women who get a fair amount of attention get full of themselves,” he says. “Eventually, I was dreading getting dinner with them because they couldn’t carry a conversation.”

 "She's so full of herself" said the guy who says he can get any woman he wants.

Also, it's a well-known fact that  no woman can be both sexy and intelligent. You have to pick one or the other, duh!

According to new research, Rochkind’s ideas about sexy bikini babes are correct. A multipart study from Harvard University, University of La Verne and Santa Clara University researchers found that beautiful people are more likely to be involved in unstable relationships.

I don't suppose it has anything to do with the fact that these "sexy bikini babes" are often seen dating men who "just go for the hottest girl" they can find and believe that they can "have anyone they want?"
No, if Harvard U. is involved, I'm sure the methodology must be impeccable!

 In one part, the researchers looked at the top 20 actresses on IMDb and found that they tend to have rocky marriages.

Wait, what? That's your. . . first of all your sample size is TWENTY? And there's no control group, and the subjects are nowhere near randomly chosen and "having rocky marriages" is defined as what, exactly? Are you sure Harvard is involved in this shit?
( I looked it up. They were. Oy.)

In another, women were asked to judge the attractiveness of 238 men based on their high school yearbook photos from 30 years ago. The men who were judged to be the best-looking had higher rates of divorce.

Looking to avoid such a fate, Rochkind started dating a woman who isn’t a bikini model, Carly Spindel, in January 2015. The two are now happily engaged.
The two met after Spindel’s mother, matchmaker Janis Spindel, scouted Rochkind at a gym.

Right. If you want a stable srteady relationship ypu want the kind of gal whose mother pimps her out to dudes she sees at the gym!

“I gave him my card and said I have the perfect girl for him,” recalls Janis, founder of Serious Matchmaking, based in Midtown. “Successful men who are in shape have the pickings when it comes to dating, [but] eventually they want a woman of substance.

Yes. . . "substance."

Rochkind found that in Carly, 30, a lovely brunette who’s the vice president of her mother’s matchmaking company and a Syracuse University graduate. Rochkind proposed to her last May in Central Park. He loves that Carly isn’t like the swimsuit models he used to go for.

Oh. um, yes. . . what a "plain Jane." 

“From my personal experience, people who are better looking are less likely to pursue advanced degrees, or play an instrument or learn other languages,” says Benedict Beckeld, a 37-year-old Brooklyn writer with a doctorate in philosophy and the body of an Adonis. But he’s quick to note that he’s not just a great set of abs — he also plays the violin and speaks seven languages.

In my experience, most hot people aren't also super smart and cultured like me.   I'm not just a set of abs, but seriously, check out these abs! Also, I'm so smart! Honestly, ladies, if you're looking for the whole package, I'm really your only option!

After dating an athletic banker with model good looks for two years, Sonali Chitre, 34, has sworn off hotties.
“He was a Nazi about his diet and would work out hard-core and cared more about his body than just living life,” says Chitre, who broke up with the finance guy last October.

And if this one hot guy was a dud in the personality department, obviously all hot guys must be equally dull. That's just science!

Chitre, an environmental lawyer and the founder of Priyamvada Sustainability Consulting, considers herself “a 9 or a 10,” but she says she’s done with gorgeous guys. Now, she’s more interested in “superballer” men with high-paying careers.

So. . . your good-looking boyfriend was shallow and self-absorbed. Your answer is to focus on dating guys with lots of money? Because you don't like shallow, self-absorbed people? Even though yu apparently are one? I'm so confused.

Also, no "hot" guys are ever "super-ballers" with high-paying careers.

Megan Young, a 23-year-old p.r. woman from Hoboken, NJ, also changed her dating habits. The svelte, blue-eyed brunette used to exclusively date 6-foot-tall dudes who looked like Calvin Klein models.
“As a person who’s always been complimented on [my] ‘stunning beauty’ … I’d been searching for a ‘hot’ guy to match the label I had always been given,” says Young. “But after a date or two, they’ll have problems hanging out with you and then will ghost.”

Hmm. . . you're saying that these guys tire of dating a grown-ass woman who uses expressions like "ghost," and talks about her own "stunning beauty?"

 And, not for nothing honey, but "stunning beauty" is being awwwwfully generous!

Last year, she stopped putting looks at the top of her dating criteria on Bumble, instead opting for guys who traveled a lot and were “make the most out of their lives” types. In August 2016, she met Christopher Argese, a 27-year-old security technician. Unlike the square-jawed bachelors who disrespected her, Argese is more boy-next-door in the looks department. But he’s kind and attentive.
“He’s not a model, but he’s so much more attractive in who he is as a person,” Young says.
And best of all, she says, Argese doesn’t just see her as a status symbol.
“When I asked him why he loves me, he said that he loves my drive and my passion,” Young says.

Oh fer the love of. . . Jeezus, Megan, of course that's what he said. What's he going to say? "Why do I love you? Let me count the ways - uh, you're purty and guys are impressed when they see me with a purty lady!" Did the model-looking guys tell you that they just saw you as arm candy? You think the hot-model dudes saw you as a status symbol, but Homely McSchlub barely noticed your "stunning beauty" and just loves your mind? Wouldn't the hot model guys always have gorgeous women on their arms?If anyone would be able to see past your looks, it should be guys that are used to dating beautiful women.

Anyway, this article has given us the reasons that Megan Young, Sonali Chitre, Dan Rochkind and Benedict Beckeld no longer date "hot" people. We have yet to hear a single reason why the author, Christian Gollayan, doesn't.  I think the main reason can be deduced by a simple Google image search:

Sorry, Victoria's Secret models, not interested!

But one question remains: WHY THE HELL IS THIS IN A NEWSPAPER?