Thursday, December 23, 2010

The AFA's Bryan Fischer May Have Topped Himself

Fischer is usually a crazy little prick, but this time he may have reached a new low (or high, depending on your perspective)

Today he starts out with this:

President Obama likes the “U.N. Declaration on Rights of Indigenous Peoples.” He says it can “help reaffirm the principles that should guide our future.”   

Now any normal person would read that and say, "Oh, the Prez likes human rights, or at least likes paying lip-service to human rights, that's sorta nice." But Bryan Fischer is not a normal person. Not by a long shot!

This declaration - which carries”considerable moral and political force,” don’t forget - contains this little gem of a paragraph, in Article 26: 
“Indigenous peoples have the right to the lands, territories and resources which they have traditionally owned, occupied or otherwise used or acquired,” and nations “shall give legal recognition and protection to these lands, territories and resources.” 

Okay. That seems fair. But only to a normal person. Because this is the conclusion Bryan Fischer draws:

In other words, President Obama wants to give the entire land mass of the United States of America back to the Indians. He wants Indian tribes to be our new overlords. 

While I, for one, would welcome our new Indian overlords, because really, how much worse could they possibly do?  there is no way Barack Obama would turn over the USA to Native Americans. They're not Muslim!

So maybe Fischer is joking, hmm? Not a chance!

I see no reason why the president, after he leaves office, can’t submit himself to the authority of any Indian tribe he wants to. Perhaps he figures that, as an adopted Crow Indian, he will be the new chief over this revived Indian empire. 

Um, where to begin? First, there never was any "Indian empire" in the land now known as the USA, so such an empire couldn't ever be revived. The Natives in North America were organized into dozens of tribes, some of whom fought against each other and -- fuck! haven't you ever seen a John Ford movie? Now south of the border, sure, you had your Inca empire in Peru and your Aztec and Maya in what is now Mexico, but no "Indian Empire" ever existed up here.

Second, if there was some new "Indian Empire" why would they put a non-Indian in charge? He knows nothing of their ways!

And third, fuck you!

You know, there was a time when someone like Bryan Fischer would have been relegated to standing on a milk crate on a street corner with a battery-powered bullhorn, but now this nutso gets taken seriously.