Thursday, May 8, 2014

Ted Cruz is at it again!

Hey, everybody. Pay attention, now. Totally not-delusional weirdo Ted Cruz has issued a very super-important report that is totally serious, you guys. Seriously, for real!

And you can see how important it is because he went with this cover:

instead of his first choice:

  Anyway, it is entitled:


Because apparently it can be expanded beyond what Bush expanded it to? (but that didn't count because "keeping us safe" and "war on terror" and "fredommmmm!!!!")

And after a long, self-important introduction, which I will spare you. . . oh, hell, I had to read it, so do you! Here's just a little taste.

Of all the troubling aspects of the Obama presidency, none is more dangerous than the President's persistent pattern of lawlessness, his willingness to disregard the written law and instead enforce his own policies via executive fiat.

In the more than two centuries of our nation’s history, there is simply no precedent for the White House wantonly ignoring federal law and asking others to do the same.

Except for that one guy who decided habeus corpus was optional and that warantless wiretapping was only illegal  unless he really really wanted to, and that torture was perfectly fine as long as you didn't call it torture. . .

"Enhanced Fondling." Perfectly legal!

anyway, then he lists the various categories of supposed misdeeds:

Governing by Executive Fiat
National Security
Executive Nominees and Personel
Free Speech and Privacy
Other Lawless Acts
Other Abuses of Power

Let's have a look at a few of these totally illegal lawbreakings, shall we?

1. Disregarded 1996 welfare reform law in granting broad work waivers for work requirements of Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF).

Wow, right out of the gate! That's a lie. Or Mr. Cruz is stunningly misinformed, either way it is just not true. And this is the Very first misdeed on the misdeed list! You'd think you'd begin with actual wrongdoings before you have to resort to blatant falsehoods to pad out the list.

5. Extended federal marriage benefits by recognizing, under federal law, same-sex marriages created in a state that allows same-sex marriage even if the couple is living in a state that doesn’t recognize same-sex marriage.

Um, okay, at least that one is true, but how is it an "abuse of power" or "lawlessness" or whatever? It has always been the case that a marriage that is legal in Michigan is legal in Mississippi is legal in Maryland. The fact that some fucktard bass-ackwatrds states choose not to recognize valid legal marriages from other more enlightened states doesn't change that. If the President has decided to honor the principle of equal protection under the law, I don't see how you can say he's doing anything wrong. He's just doing something you don't like.

1. Falsely portrayed the Benghazi terrorist attack as a spontaneous protest against an anti-Muslim YouTube video, and then lied about the White House’s involvement

Wow, I can't believe he waited this long to go to the #Benghazi, Behghazi, Benghazi!!!
#Benghazi    #tcot

I'm pretty sure that it is not a crime for the intelligence community to say "let's not let the terrorists know that we know it's them, because strategy."  Also, the huge demonstrations which the terrorists used to aid their attack absolutely were spontaneous protests against an anti-Muslim video. Also, fuck you, Ted Cruz. Never heard a peep out of you when Dubya was lying about WMDs. Those lies cost thousands of American lives. "Lying" about Benghazi, and there's no real reason to think that these were even lies, cost exactly zero. But which one are you assholes holding hearing after hearing about, hmm?

4.  Killed four Americans overseas in counterterrorism operations without judicial process.

Oh my God, how are you not leading with this? How is it that on your list of misdeeds, killing 4 Americans without due process is NUMBER FOUR in SECTION TWO? Where are your priorities? This is the only one that seems like an actual crime. (And if it isn't, it should be.) But to you, it's apparently an afterthought, tucked in between "Failed to enforce the Magnitsky Act" and "Continued to give Egypt aid" You have some seriously fucked-up priorities, Cruz.

Then we get in to what is really the most super-illegal impeach-now category of high crimes:
2. Delayed the individual mandate for two years.

So, he did what the Republicans had begged/demanded that he do?  Impeach!!!
Also, I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but in our system (not the Canadian system with which you're familiar) the Executive Branch is in charge of implementing laws. If the executive decides that a delay ion implementation is necessary, that's his perogative. He has to administer the laws, hence the phrase "Obama Administration) 

4. Extended the deadline to enroll in Obamacare.
See above.
Also, you are really getting desperate if extending a dealine is one of your "abuses of power!"
 I mean, you could hardly get more ridiculous than that!

 9. Illegally required people to violate their faith via the Obamacare contraception mandate.
 Oh, I stand corrected.
Enforcing the law of the land is illegal now? It's illegal if some uptight Bible-thumpers are uncomfortable with aspects of the law? What about the law that says that Rastafarians are not allowed to smoke pot even though it is part of their religion? What about the law that says you can't be a bigamist even if your brand of Mormonism is totally okay with that? What about fuck you, you don't get to impose your religious beliefs on your employees?

10. As of May 2011, over 50% of Obamacare waiver beneficiaries were union members (who account for less than 12% of the American work force).
Um, that is a statistic. Not a scandal. 
I don't know whether it's true, and since the source you cite for this claim is the Washington Times, I doubt that it is, but either way, a statistic is not a crime.

1. Illegally targeted conservative groups for heightened IRS scrutiny. 
Jeezus, how many times does that need to be debunked? 

1. Aided drug cartels instead of enforcing immigration laws—as found by a federal judge. Border Patrol agents, multiple times, knowingly helped smuggle illegal immigrant children into the U.S.
What? The border patrol helping drug cartels? And helping the drug cartels by smuggling children. . . what? Where the fuck would you even come up with so insane an idea?

Stephen Dinan,

 Border Patrol helps smuggle illegal immigrant children into the United States  Wash. Times, Dec. 19, 2013.
Oh, of course.
You do know that the Moonie Times is not a reliable source of. . . oh, never mind. Of course you don't.

2. Illegally sold thousands of guns to criminals, in the operation known as Fast and Furiousand then refused to comply with congressional subpoenas about the operation

How many times does THAT need to be debunked? Seriously, that is NOT what happened. And F&F wasa program initiated by the Bush Administration. And the drug dealers were able to buy weapons of war in Arizona because gun nuts like you have eviscerated Arizona's gun laws to the point that pretty much anyone can buy an assault weapon there.
3. Dismissed charges filed by Bush Administration against New Black Panther Party members who were videotaped intimidating voters at a Philadelphia polling station during the 2008 election.

True. Of course, that had a lot to do with the fact that there was no complaining witness. No one reported being intimidated by the Panthers who were legally observing the polling station. But other than that, yeah. Scandal!

4. Argued for expansive federal powers in the Supreme Court, which has rejected the Administration’s arguments unanimously 9 times since January 2012
  How is that a "Lawless Act," exactly?
Pleading your case in court? That's lawless now? Better go arrest every lawyer in America!

5. Sued Louisiana to stop school vouchers and keep low-income minorities trapped in failing schools.
It's unlawful to file a lawsuit? I mean, shit, it has the word "law" right in it! Right before "suit!" How can that be lawless? 

Any way, there are so many more, but who has the strength? The point is, Ted Cruz is a nutty, stupid piece of shit with no soul, no conscience, and very little grasp of reality.