Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Head-Hurtingly Stupid Quote of the Day

"They don't like animals"
--Anita Andrews from Alliance For Truth

At first glance, that doesn't seem stupid at all. But here's what makes it migraine-inducing stupid: The "they" she refers to, it's the Humane Society of the United States."

Yep, the Humane Society just plain don't like them animals!

So how did this quote come to be? Well, surprisingly, Tea-baggers are involved!


Missouri Tea Partiers, Joe The Plumber Join Movement Against 'Radical' Anti-Puppy Mill Legislation

A conservative group in Missouri is picking up the backing of the Tea Party and Joe The Plumber in its quest to stop the Humane Society of the United States (HSUS) and other animal rights groups from passing "radical" anti-puppy mill legislation.

You would think the teabaggers would have bigger fish to fry, what with the impending Commu-Nazi takeover and the death panels and what not, but no. They really really love their puppy mills. Or maybe they just love being mean to dogs, who knows?


The measure, which can be read in full here, is called Proposition B or the "Puppy Mill Cruelty Prevention Act."

"This measure would provide common sense standards for the care of dogs," Markarian [the Chief Operating Officer of the HSUS] told TPM, including sufficient food and clean water, vet care, regular exercise, and adequate rest between breeding cycles, among other things. Markarian said the measure only applies to "commercial dog breeding facilities" that have more than 10 breeding females who they use for "producing puppies for the pet trade."

Or so they would have you believe!

Well, according to the Alliance For Truth, the main force behind the anti-Prop B movement, there is something much more nefarious afoot (er, apaw) in the HSUS measure. The Alliance For Truth claims that the HSUS has a "radical agenda" and is "misleading the public with its intentions on Prop B. The society seeks only to raise the cost of breeding dogs, making it ever-more difficult for middle-class American families to be dog-owners."

That's right, the Humane Society goes to all the trouble and expense of organizing volunteers into a society, raising money, holding meetings, all the falderal that comes with being a non-profit organization just so they can make it harder for families to own dogs. That's the principle around which the entire group is organized. Like cartoon villains, they seek no personal gain for themselves, only the promotion of evil for the sake of evil.

Oh, you want me to take time out of my busy schedule to come down to the animal shelter and work for no pay? Gee, I don't know, what would be the point? Oh! Well, if we're making it harder for little Timmy to get a puppy, then count me in! Me and all my nefarious friends! I don't really even have any personal beef with little Timmy, I just don't like animals! Therefore, I am glad to donate my time to see that cruel, inhumane puppy mills are shut down.

So, would anyone like to jump in here and make this even stupider?

Yes, sir. You had your hand up?


The Alliance For Truth also has the support of some better-known conservative activists, like Joe 'The Plumber' Wurzelbacher, who wrote on the Alliance For Truth site that the HSUS is "cowardly hiding behind animal cruelty, lying to our citizens and taking our constitutional rights away - one state at a time."

Oh, God!

Yeah, Joe. That's right. The Humane Society has no interest in animal cruelty, they just see this issue as an opportunity to take away our rights. That's what they're doing. You got 'em. The jig is up. The Humane Society's real goal is to go from state to state taking people's rights away. Yeah, some folks thought it was the Freemasons behind all the dastardly plots, some thought it was the Bilerbergers. Nope, it's the freakin Humane Society. And now that you're on to us, Mr. The Plumber, I have no choice but to eliminate you! Bwahahahahaha!!!!


What? A guy can dream, can't he?