Friday, October 22, 2010

If Gilbert & Sullivan Were Alive Today

The Darling of the Tea Party
Act I
Scene I

Christine O'Donnell enters and walks to center stage.

Behind her is a chorus dressed in tri-corner hats waving "don't tread on me" flags.

Christine waves to the chorus and begins to sing.

When I was a girl with big '80's hair

I told people not to touch themselves down there.

That mean Bill Maher seemed to take offense

And everybody had a laugh at my expense.

Everybody had a laugh at her expense.

I didn't seem to notice that they laughed at me,

And now I am the darling of the Tea Party!

She didn't hear the audience go "hee hee hee"

And now she is the darling of the Tea Party!

Orchestra: dum-didee dum-didee dum-didee dum-didee

When the primary race had reached culmination

I found myself with the nomination.

Headed to the college for the big debate

I didn't understand the thing 'bout church and state

I grasped so little they rewarded me
by making me the darling of the Tea party!

She understood things so infrequently

That now she is the darling of the Tea Party!

So wingnuts of tomorrow you should study my case

There is no greater asset than a pretty face.

Don't go to Oxford if you want to get ahead

Go on late night television shows instead.

Go on Real Time with old Billy Maher instead

Just smile and advocate theocracy

And you may all be darlings of the Tea Party!

Baseball Look-Alikes

FOX Announcer Tim McCarver

Is starting to look like

Famous war criminal Donald Rumsfeld

Giants pitcher Tim Lincecum

Looks like

SNL character "Opera Man"

Phillies outfielder Jayson Werth

Jayson Werth watches his solo home run head over the right-field wall in the ninth inning, giving the Phillies a 4-2 lead. Werth also threw out the GiantsĀ“ Cody Ross at third base in the fourth.

Looks like

Doonesbury Character Zonker Harris

Giants reliever Sergio Romo

is starting to look like

Coffin Joe