How pathetic is this?

 

Broga. And, yes, it is actually what it sounds like. Yoga for bros.

Broga: Finally, Yoga for Dudes

By Aylin Zafar @azafar

If you’re a guy who feels too shy or emasculated by the idea of attending a yoga class among a sea of women, you can now feel at ease at “Broga,” a studio and practice geared toward men, with two locations in Massachusetts.

How pathetic are these guys? Oh, no, there's too many women here, I might get emasculated! Waah, mommy, the girls are picking on me!

(Pictured: Every Men's Rights Activist ever)

Why does there have to be a "for men only" version of everything?

 

How insecure do you have to be to need constant reassurance that every product you purchase, every activity in which you engage is sufficiently "manly?"
What do they think is going to happen if they use some product that has some association with women? They'll sprout breasts? Their weenis will retract itself into a vagina?
How pathetic would you have to be to actually be afraid to go into a yoga studio because there might be too many women there?

Co-founders Robert Sidoti and Adam O’Neill created Broga as a safe space for men who may be self-conscious about not being as flexible as the woman on the mat next to them in class

Yes, a "safe space."
Because you know how hard it is for us to feel safe, what with all these women constantly eyeballing us!

Broga® Yoga Overview

Broga is a yoga class geared for men (where it’s okay if you can’t touch your toes).

Finally! I was so sick of being jeered at by women when I couldn't touch my toes. Because everyone knows that every woman ever is as lithe and flexible as a willow branch and no man ever is.

  

Well, ok, this guy. But he's obviously some sort of gymnast or contortionist!

Our Mission…

…is to offer men real tools for coping with daily stresses and demands through an accessible yoga-based fitness program taught from a man’s point of view.

There's a point of view?
To Yoga?
How does a series of movements and postures have a point of view?
I don't know, but somehow it does and that point of view better be male or I'm not setting foot in there! I'm not letting those yoga women castrate me!

Our Brograms^©…

…help men to live in their most organic selves: strong, peaceful, guided, internally and outwardly connected, powerful and compassionate from the inside out. Our Brograms, services and merchandise enable men to walk, compete, and live stronger, balanced lives.

Oh, fuck me. "Brograms?" And you felt you needed to copyright that gem?

 

How pathetic is this?

Pathetic line of the Day

From a CNN Documentary entitled "Romney Revealed"

In 1968, France was a dangerous place to be for a 21yo American but Romney was right in the middle of it

France. In 1968. France was a dangerous place for a 21-year-old American boy? You know, if France was too dangerous for him, he could maybe have tried some other country like, Oh, I don't know, Vietnam?

It's not like anyone was forcing poor old Mitt to be in France, he was there because he was classifying himself as a missionary to avoid going to Vietnam. But I'm sure he must have had serious moral objections to serving in the war, probably.

 

Oh, right!

So what was so horrible about France in the 1960's?

. . . a time that Romney once described as “tough” because the French were “not happy to see Americans, because we were in Vietnam at the time.”

Yeah, I got news for ya, Mittens, no one in any country is ever happy to see Mormons knocking at their door.

 

Oh, God, here they come. Quiet everyone, kill the lights! 

 . . . all those dying Americans were causing protests in France, and as a result, says Romney's fellow missionary Mike Bush, “There was no train service, there were no buses, no newspapers. The electricity would go off from time-to-time.”

 

Oh. That must have been rough!

“There were no letters from home,” Bush continues. “The money at the time came via check. That was our lifeline was getting letters from home.”

Seriously? You're telling me that George Romney, head of American Motors and governor of Michigan didn't know how to wire money to France?  I'm sure Mitt could've taught him how to wire it to Switzerland. Or the Caymans. Or Bermuda.

Damn, CNN! You're really airing this nonsense? You do know that how ever far you bend over backwards to accommodate the right, they are never going to be your friends, right? Even if you go to these pathetic lengths, portraying a man who supported the war as long as someone else was fighting it as somehow heroic because there were protests and marches in France? You know where else there were protests and marches in 1968? EVERYWHERE! Certainly all over the US. This is what 1968 looked like in Chicago:



In San Francisco:


In Detroit:


Well, you get the idea.

From now on, CNN, you need to run everything past Soledad O"Brien before airing it, okay?

Florida's Rick Scott is our Nation's Most Pathetic Governor.

Rick Scott, governor of Florida, frightener of small children, and Medicare defrauder, has a website.
Not that there's anything unusual about that, I'm sure most governors have websites.

And maybe a lot of them have a "Take Action" widget

• 

I don't know, and I'm not about to do the research. But I'm guessing that no other governor has anything this sad on his or her website:

Email a Newspaper Editor

Name
Your Email
City (optional)

There's a drop-down menu with the names of major Florida newspapers, and then the pathetic icing on the pitiful cake: The letter is already written for you!

Dear Editor,

When Rick Scott ran for Governor he promised to create jobs and turn our economy around. I voted for Rick because he’s always been a businessman, not a politician. While politicians usually disappoint us and rarely keep their promises, Rick is refreshing because he’s keeping his word.

Refreshing! That's what I look for in a candidate. Oh, wait. No, I mean a breath mint.

His policies are helping to attract businesses to our state and get people back to work.

That would be pretty impressive if he hadn't also included this handy chart on his site showing that Florida's unemployment is still considerably worse than the national average.


 

 Some of the special interests are attacking the Governor for making tough decisions, showing leadership, and doing what he told us he would do. 

Yes, that's exactly what's happening. The "special interests" Are upset about Scott making tough decisions. "Dammit!" they exclaim. "He's showing leadership again! And now he's doing exactly what he promised to do? well, that's the last straw!"

 I'm sure that's what they are upset about. I'm sure it has nothing to do with insignificant trifles like:

Florida Gov. Rick Scott rejects funding for high-speed rail

Gov. Rick Scott, citing concerns over potential cost overruns, rejected $2.4 billion in federal dollars to pay for construction of a high-speed rail line connecting Tampa and Orlando.

Or. . .

Education cuts show up in Rick Scott's budget

Says he never said he would keep education funding the same.

 

Or. . .

Health care services for women and children among Scott vetoes, crisis pregnancy centers untouched

Gov. Rick Scott yesterday vetoed almost $1.5 million for a handful of community health care clinics in Florida that provide adult and pediatric primary health care services, family planning, immunizations and  STD and HIV screening, among other services, to low-income and minority patients.

Yeah, I'm sure it's that darn showing leadership thing that has folks upset.

 And it goes on. . .

 Rick Scott deserves our unwavering and enthusiastic support.
How can we expect to elect leaders who will keep their word and do what’s right for our state if we don’t stand up for those with the courage to set priorities, make difficult choices, and actually deliver on their promises made? 

We must stand with leaders who will bravely cut education while courageously phasing out all corporate income taxes. Oh, if only more politicians had the courage to stand up for the poor, put-upon corporations!

But that's not even the most pathetic item on Governor Scott's website. He also includes a video praising his "accomplishments." A video featuring His Mom!




Support Rick Scott. His mommy thinks he's a good boy!
Holy cow!

I suddenly have the urge to take his lunch money.


Of course, if you want to see an actually relevant Rick Scott video, there's this:

Oh, so that's why we can't have gay soldiers!

According to professional prude and bigotry enthusiast Tony Perkins, the reason we have to keep Don't Ask / Don't Tell is. . .

You know, what the president has done is he has urged the Joint Chiefs to make a change at a time of war, undermining, potentially, our nation's security and the effectiveness of our military, and quite possibly opening the door to the draft once again, because we've seen that there are men and women who do serve in the military who have expressed reservations about staying in the military if this change comes about.

(source)


Yep, we need to keep them queers outta the military or else there's a-gonna be a draft!

And according to character assassin and falsehood buff Saxby Chambliss,

Sen. Saxby Chambliss (R-GA) expressed his concern that repealing the rule would pave the way for allowing "alcohol use, adultery, fraternization, and body art" in the military

Because currently, you know, all members of the military are teetotalers, and none of our troops has tattoos or other-than-marital-sex. I mean, I assume. I've never been in the military, but I figure Gomer Pyle, USMC probably had it about right.

Although, come to think of it, I do remember seeing something in the paper about soldiers drinking. . . . .





hmm, well now I don't know what to think. . .

Anyway, I guess I owe the righties an apology. All this time I thought you were against gay people serving in the military because you think gayness is icky and maybe contagious, and you have the maturity of ten-year olds, but now I see you have perfectly legitimate reasons for your fear of military gaiety.

Sorry.

A new definition of Bi-Partisan

From the increasingly irrelevant Atlanta Journal Constitution:

A bipartisan prescription for national health care reform

By Newt Gingrich and Andrew Von Eschenbach

Okay, so the actual op-ed piece itself is not really important, although you can read it here if you're interested. It's pretty much what you would expect, vague, meaningless suggestions like "make healthcare more affordable," and "make healthcare more available," and (swear to God) "Make healthcare more appropriate." So, basically do nothing and let the free market work its fucking bullshit magic or whatever, but that's not really the point.

Here's the point.

I know who Newt Gingrich is, but I had no idea who this Andrew Von MC Escher guy was, so I looked at the bottom of the piece, where they explain who the authors are and I found this:

Newt Gingrich is the founder of the Center for Health Transformation. Dr. Andrew Von Eschenbach is former commissioner of the FDA and senior strategist at the center.

Yeah, that's right. The AJC's idea of bi-partisan means Newt Gingrich and a guy who works for Newt Gingrich.

Goddamned liberal media!

Pathetic. And they wonder why newspapers are dying.

This Book is Not safe For Children!

So I saw this:

I support the school in this action.

All material that references sex and another degrading acts that can affect our your children should not be readily available to students.

We send our children to school to learn and not to be made into sex objects by some of the teachers and other non God fearing educational officials.

All books and other such material should be taken out from any where in the school and destroyed. It is not the government job to teach our kids about sex, that is not where was want our tax dollars being spend.

(source)

And I read that it was about a book being pulled from the school library in Riverside, CA.

And I thought "What sort of foul, pornographic smut had made its way into the school library down there?
Because apparently, this nasty, awful book "references sex and other degrading acts" (interesting that the writer considers sex to be a "degrading" act. Now that's some damn fine repression) and will turn children into "sex objects," which seems like a pretty awful thing to do.

So I clicked the link to the newspaper article to see what this vile, filthy book was:

A school district in Riverside County has pulled the Merriam-Webster's 10th edition dictionary from school shelves because it includes the term "oral sex."

Yeah. That's what the parents of Riverside, CA want to protect their children from. The Dictionary.
I've been unfortunate enough to have spent some time in Riverside, CA so this is not entirely shocking. People have this stereotype of California being San Francisco sophisticates, Berkeley hippies, and Los Angeles glamour dolls, but the "Inland Empire" part of the state might as well be Kansas. See, while Northern California was populated by folks from New York, Philadelphia, Boston, etc. during the Gold Rush, the agricultural areas were populated largely by Okies and Arkies fleeing the Dust Bowl.
But come on! Even the descendants of the Joads shouldn't be afraid of the fucking Dictionary! That's really just sad. And what's even sadder is that the school district went along with the tounge-speakers and snake-handlers who are terrified that their children might see the word "sex."

Pathetic!

Beyond Pathetic

The "One News Now" group is usually pretty pathetic, bu this time they may have hit the bottom of the barrel.

Obama's Nobel Prize - is it unconstitutional?
Jim Brown - OneNewsNow - 12/14/2009 7:35:00 AM


Seriously? That's what you got? Have you given up on the whole born-in-Kenya, commie-Hitler thing?

A constitutional scholar says President Obama's acceptance of the Nobel Peace Prize may be a violation of the U.S. Constitution because he received the award without the consent of Congress.

And just who is this "Constitutional scholar"?

Matthew Spalding with The Heritage Foundation is concerned about the constitutionality of Obama's acceptance of the Nobel Prize.

Oh, the Heritage Foundation! What, you couldn't get someone from the John Birch Society? The LaRouchies not returning your calls?

(from Heritage website)
Before joining Heritage in 1994, Spalding was a senior policy analyst at the Claremont Institute for the Study of Statesmanship and Political Philosophy

So he's been collecting wingnut welfare his entire adult life?

Spalding is a graduate of Claremont McKenna College. He earned a doctorate in government from Claremont Graduate School, concentrating his studies on political philosophy and early American political thought.

Philosophy and political thought. Not Constitutional law? Oh, sure studying political philosophy, that's the same thing as being a Constitutional Scholar. My major was American History, so I'm going to say I'm an expert in English Literature. Same difference.

Spalding's work on The Heritage Guide to the Constitution, which brought together the contributions of 109 legal authorities, earned him Heritage's prestigious W. Glenn and Rita Ricardo Campbell Award in 2006. The award is given to the Heritage employee who makes "an outstanding contribution to the analysis and promotion of a free society."

Wow! He won an award given out by the organization that includes himself! And he won this award for being one of 109 crackpots to contribute to some book that no one will ever read? How prestigious!

So on what basis does this great legal mind object to Barack Obama's Nobel Prize?

A clause in Article I, Section 9 of the U.S. Constitution states: "No Title of Nobility shall be granted by the United States: And no Person holding any Office or Trust under them, shall, without the consent of the Congress, accept of any present, Emolument, Office, or Title, of any kind whatever, from any King, Prince, or foreign state."
That raises a question: Is the Nobel Peace Prize an "Emolument"?

Well, here's the short answer: No.

Here's a longer answer: No it is not. And what the fuck is wrong with you? Seriously, do you not have access to a dictionary?

Main Entry: emol·u·ment

Pronunciation: \i-ˈmäl-yə-mənt\

Function: noun
1 : the returns arising from office or employment usually in the form of compensation
(Merriam-Webster)

e⋅mol⋅u⋅ment

–noun profit, salary, or fees from office or employment; compensation for services
(Dictionary.com)

emolument

noun

/ɪˈmɒl.jʊ.mənt//-ˈmɑːl-/ n [C] UK formal

a payment in money or some other form that is made for work that has been done

(Cambridge Advanced Learner's Dictionary)


See, if you'd taken a couple of minutes to look the word up, you'd see that an emolument is something which is earned as compensation for service. And since, as it has been pointed out numerous times, President Obama has basically done fucking nothing to have earned the Nobel Peace Prize, there is no way even a brilliant scholar such as yourself can twist the prize into an "emolument."



Is the Nobel Peace Prize an "Emolument" -- a gift arising from one's office which includes some sort of monetary award with it?

No. An emolument is not a gift. It is earned. And even you should know that.

Spalding, director of the B. Kenneth Simon Center for American Studies at The Heritage Foundation, says since the award is technically the property of the United States, Obama has under 60 days to turn the award over to the appropriate authorities for proper disposal.

Do you have any legal argument for the award being the property of the United States and not the property of the person to whom it was given? No? Anything? You just gonna toss that out there as if it were established fact?

"The Commission, the group that gives out the Nobel Prize, is actually appointed by the Parliament of Norway, which is [to] say that it's connected with a foreign state. This makes it very interesting," the Heritage scholar notes.

No. No it doesn't. Not interesting at all.

"In 1993, President Clinton's own Office of Legal Counsel said that it didn't have to be a foreign state acting in a formal way, but could be, rather, indirect.

Of course, they also told him that a blowjob was not an impeachable offense, so. . .

[This] seems to be a perfect example of what the Nobel Prize is -- and the Founders put this clause in the Constitution precisely to make sure that foreign states didn't unwarrantedly influence American domestic politics."

Now he's in the pocket of the Norwegians? Won't that interfere with his loyalty to Allah?
Those damn Norskies have been trying to influence our government for years, and they finally found a way! Look for the Treasury Department to switch our currency from the Dollar to the Herring any day now! Government offices will close for Thor Heyerdahl Day, and Bjork will write our new national anthem!
(I know, she's Icelandic, I don't know any Norwegian musicians)

Spalding believes the Nobel Prize Commission intended to give the award to a president who had not yet accomplished anything, in hopes of encouraging him to do certain things in the future. Interestingly Nobel committee chairman Thorbjorn Jagland has defended the choice of Obama, saying the prize should be an "instrument for peace rather than [a] stamp of approval."

While tenting his fingers like Mr. Burns and laughing like Vincent Price, no doubt!

One News Now, you've outdone yourself this time! This is beyond pathetic!

What could be Lamer?

Finally, the answer to that age-old question:
"What could be lamer than a Civil War Re-enactment?"

Well, this.
This could be.

St. Martin’s Press and Gingrich Communications Announce First Ever Historical Re-enactment on Twitter

“Twitternactment” to Re-enact the Battle of Trenton

Newt Gingrich and God knows how many other pathetic weirdos will be re-enacting the battle of Trenton using Twitter.

Twitter.

Really.

Twitter users can follow General George Washington (@genwashington76), Jonathan Van Dorn, a private in the colonial army (@pvtvandornNJ), and Hessian commander Colonel Johann Rall (@colonelrall), as they simulate the crossing of the Delaware River and the attack on Trenton the following morning in real time.

So you thought guys running around in Confederate uniforms firing toy guns at each other was pathetic? You don't know the meaning of the word "pathetic" until you've witnessed a Twitter battle!

Yeah, I'm pretty sure that if Twitter had existed in the 18th Century, George Washington would Not have taken time away from fighting the Revolutionary Fucking WAR to send "real-time tweets" to a bunch of douchebags in their jammies. If General Washington had caught one of his men "tweeting," he would have had him court-marshalled if he didn't just shoot him in the head to save time.

“In To Try Men’s Souls, Bill Forstchen and I try to bring Washington and the other historical figures to life, trying to imagine what their conversations were like and what they were feeling while crossing the Delaware in extreme cold and sleet,” said Newt Gingrich. “This “twitternactment” will be a new way for people to experience history “in the moment.”

Someone needs to tell Newt that imaginary conversations using anachronistic technology probably doesn't qualify as actual "history." Let me save you some time, you want to know what Washington and his men were feeling while crossing the Delaware?
Cold And Scared.

There, now you can skip the Twit-enactment, or whatever it's called.

'

This is Never Going To Happen, Is It?

Goddammit, Harry Reid, see this is why people hate you.

Reid bends on healthcare deadline

@ 12:45 pm by Hill Staff

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.) is bending on the pre-recess deadline for a health reform bill.

"The Republicans have asked for more time, and I don't think it's unreasonable," Reid said at a noon press conference.

You're Pathetic!

You must know that no matter how accommodating you are to the righties, they will still portray you like this:

While actually seeing you like this:

And you know what, they've got a point, you miserable little weiner.

Why don't you start acting like you lead the majority party and give us a fucking health care plan! You have a filibuster-proof majority and you still feel the need to kiss Republican ass at every turn, hoping that the redneck yahoos of Nevada won't be tto mad at you and you might get re-elected. well guess what? There's no point in getting elected if you're not going to do anything when you're in charge. Let someone else be the majority leader if you can't handle the pressure.

Hey Harry, Guess What?

Dean Grose, mayor of Los Alamitos, CA

If you are going to send out a postcard like this:












with a caption about no more Easter egg hunts at the White House,

At least have the balls to stand up and say, yeah, it's a racial joke, I think its funny that the blacks, you know, they love watermelons. Don't puss out with a weaselly bullshit explanation like this:

“Bottom line is, we laugh at things and I didn’t see this in the same light that she did,” Grose told the AP. “I’m sorry. It wasn’t sent to offend her personally — or anyone — from the standpoint of the African-American race.”

Pathetic.