Bill Kristol Continues to be a Goddamned Idiot.

Not only is Bill Kristol wrong about everything (really, seriously, wrong about everything), he continues to spout wrongness with that smug, self-satisfied smirk that makes me want to punch his lights out.



Where in holy hell does he come up with 5, or 8, or 13 times? The law not only allows, but requires Arizona cops to stop anyone who seems like they might be here illegally and demand proof of citizenship. That pretty much means anyone in Arizona who looks Mexican (including Native Americans) or has an accent, or likes soccer is going to be stopped and asked for ID repeatedly.
And then he asks "is that what you think the Arizona cops are like?" (paraphrase)
Um, yeah. Have you not ever heard of Joe Arpayo? And he's like a fucking hero down there.
Of course, there are probably many good, conscientious cops in Arizona. Of course they're not all like Arpayo. But even if you are a good cop in AZ, this new law requires you to stop Mexicans and demand to see their papers. Rather than argue honestly, and say "yes, I think it's a good idea to harass all the brown folks in Arizona," Kristol makes up this bullshit about how it will hardly ever happen, and it's not a big deal, and blargh, blargh, blargh. . . .

Honest to God, I'd rather listen to Billy Crystal opine on current events than Bill Kristol.

So here's Bill Kristol getting hit in the face with a pie:



Hmm, I do feel a teensy bit better.

Is This For Real?

I used to see David Brooks' column occasionally. The San Francisco Chronicle used to run it in syndication. So I know Brooks is kind of an idiot. But this is just unbelievable.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Redefining What It Means to Work Hard

By DAVID BROOKS AND GAIL COLLINS

In The Conversation, David Brooks and Gail Collins talk between columns every Wednesday.

Check this crap out! It reads like a parody.

David Brooks: Gail, to wrench me out of my fiscal funk last week, you allowed me to talk about sports and sex, in the person of Tiger Woods. I want you to know how much that helped.

Today, I’m going to start off talking about sports, but I promise, we’ll soon be discussing social class.

Oh, good! David Brooks' views on social class. For a minute, I thought you were going to talk about something interesting, like sports.

Gail Collins: David, this is not the first time somebody has promised that a discussion of sports is going to quickly evolve into something else. This is always a prelude to a discussion of sports. Sometimes with an occasional oblique reference to quantum physics or the ancient Greeks. But go ahead, I’m resigned.

David Brooks: O.K. My first subject is Barack Obama. He is without question the best basketball player ever in the White House, except for Taft, of course, who was the Charles Barkley of his day.

Ha ha ha!! Because they're both fat! Ha ha ha !!!

During the N.C.A.A. tournament Obama beat CBS’s basketball analyst Clark Kellogg in a game of P-O-T-U-S (the White House version of Horse). And then, being Obama, he said something very self-aware. He said that Kellogg (who was a genuine basketball star before going into broadcasting), only let him get close in the game because he didn’t realize that Obama might go on to win. That shows the president is wise to the wiles of flattery. Good for him.

So he's not stupid enough to think that he beat THIS GUY:

fair and square?

But then Monday he threw out the first pitch at Nationals Park. Atrocious. I don’t mean to be sexist, but the man throws like a Democrat.

Ha ha ha!! Because only girls are Democra. . . wait. That doesn't make sense.

The gap between his basketball ability and his baseball ability is so wide as to be a threat to the nation. The fact that he did not have the wisdom to bring in a team of pitching consultants to help with his delivery is a sign of dangerous hubris.

Or a sign of hos having more important "Predidenty" stuff to do.

Gail Collins: I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned it but I hate hate hate all that White House basketball-buddy stuff.

Why can't he play golf like a real president?

Now, that's presidential!

Maybe I could demand that the president devote equal recreational attention to the national pastime. He could certainly find a trillion women in the administration who could play baseball at his level.

Ha ha ha , because girls are not good at basebal! ha ha ha !

David Brooks: A few hours after that atrocity of opening day, Duke went on to beat Butler for the national championship. Unlike 90 percent of America, I was rooting for Duke last night. This was widely cast as a class conflict — the upper crust Dukies against the humble Midwestern farm boys.

That is completely non-surprising. Almost everyone loves an underdog,
but oh, no. Not Brooks!

Gail Collins: I’m sorry, when the difference is one weensy basket, I’d say Duke won neither by privilege nor hard work but by sheer luck. But don’t let me interrupt your thought here. I detect the subtle and skillful transition to a larger non-sport point.

Please, God, let that be sarcasm!

David Brooks: Yes. I was going to say that for the first time in human history, rich people work longer hours than middle class or poor people. How do you construct a rich versus poor narrative when the rich are more industrious?

And there it is.

The trademark David Brooks Bullshit.

Just look how industrious these rich people are being:



Compared to these lazy bum poor folks:






Also, most "poor" or blue collar folks are paid by the hour. That means that even if you are willing and able to work more than your standard 40 hours a week or 8 hours a day, depending on what state you live in, your boss would have to approve overtime pay for you to work extra. Most companies are understandably reluctant to pay overtime, so not a lot of working class folks end up working more than 40/week.
Whereas executives are paid a salary, so they can spend as many hours "working" as they see fit. "Working" in this instance includes reading reports, 3-martini business lunches, watching powerpoint presentations, and hitting the executive gym.

Gail Collins: It may be true that the more hours you work on average, the wealthier you are likely to be. But while it’s harder to quantify, I’m pretty sure that the work gets more and more pleasant the higher up the ladder you climb. Forty hours in a chicken-plucking factory feels a lot longer than 60 hours managing a large corporation.

I'm not sure who Gail Collins is, but I don't think it would take a lot of money to get her to kick David Brooks in the crotch. Let's take up a collection!

David Brooks: Here’s the trickiest case of all. I don’t know if you saw Tara Parker-Pope’s piece in the Science section on Tuesday, but she reported on an interesting set of statistics. First, parents are spending more time with their kids today than in previous generations.

Actually, she said that the time parents spend with kids has risen "since the mid-nineties," not "previous generations." I'll guarantee you that my parents' generation spent a lot more time with their kids than today's parents (for better or worse) But why let facts get in the way?

Before 1995, mothers spent on average 12 hours a week with their children. By 2007, that number had leapt to 21.2 for college-educated moms and 15.9 hours for those with less education. I was fascinated by how parental time correlates to education. Is it possible that college-educated parents are spending more time passing down their advantages than other parents? Could it be that the rich replicate themselves by dint of hard work and parental attention, on top of all the other less worthy advantages?

Oh, I see. I'm not rich because my parents didn't deserve to have a rich son. If only they had worked harder. . .oh, wait. My parents worked their butts off, and spent tons of time with us. Enough time to make me and my siblings all a bit neurotic. So, shouldn't I be rich now?

If only I'd understood earlier how deserving the rich are!

Oh, they've worked so hard!

If only my parents would have had the foresight to pass a publishing empire on to me and my siblings! What the hell were they thinking?

How is the New York Times putting their imprimatur on this mess?

No wonder newspapers are dying!

Guys Who Could Use a Good Kick to the Crotch

#1: Mohammed al-Madadi

A federal official said that the man went to the bathroom to smoke a cigarette, and was confronted by air marshals on board the plane. The passenger understood he had diplomatic immunity, and made sarcastic comments that the marshals took as a threat

Two F-16 fighters from Buckley Air Force Base, in Colorado, were scrambled to intercept the plane, the authorities said. They escorted it for the last five minutes of its flight, and it landed safely in Denver.

#2: Virginia Governor Bob McDonnel.

WHEREAS, April is the month in which the people of Virginia joined the Confederate States of America in a four year war between the states for independence that concluded at Appomattox Courthouse; and

WHEREAS, it is important for all Virginians to reflect upon our Commonwealth’s shared history, to understand the sacrifices of the Confederate leaders, soldiers and citizens during the period of the Civil War, and to recognize how our history has led to our present; and

WHEREAS, all Virginians can appreciate the fact that when ultimately overwhelmed by the insurmountable numbers and resources of the Union Army, the surviving, imprisoned and injured Confederate soldiers gave their word and allegiance to the United States of America, and returned to their homes and families to rebuild their communities in peace,
[Wow, that's some revisionist history!]

NOW, THEREFORE, I, Robert McDonnell, do hereby recognize April 2010 as CONFEDERATE HISTORY MONTH in our COMMONWEALTH OF VIRGINIA, and I call this observance to the attention of all our citizens.

#3: Dr. Jack Cassell:

Dr. Jack Cassell, an Orlando-area urologist and part-time Republican crank, probably couldn't have imagined what he was getting himself into.

This week, Cassell's medical office posted a sign for patients and their families: "If you voted for Obama...seek urologic care elsewhere. Changes to your healthcare begin right now, not in four years."

The ethically-challenged physician told the Orlando Sentinel he wouldn't deny care to patients who support the president, but Casell wants those patients to feel unwelcome and seek medical treatment from doctors who don't care how they voted.

But perhaps the most important coverage was an interview between Cassell and Alan Colmes on the radio Friday night.

Cassell: Hospice cuts in 2012…Does the government want people to die slowly?
Colmes: Do you really think the government wants people dead?
Cassell: Well I think that they’re cutting all supportive care, like nursing homes, ambulance services…
Colmes: What to you mean they’re cutting nursing homes?
Cassell: They’re cutting nursing home reimbursements
Colmes: Isn’t what they’re cutting under the Medicare plan what was really double dipping; they were getting credits and they were getting to deduct them at the same time.
Cassell: Well you know, I can’t tell you exactly what the deal is.
Colmes: If you can’t tell us exactly what the deal is, why are you opposing it and fighting against it?
Cassell: I’m not the guy who wrote the plan.
Colmes: But if you don’t know what the deal is why are you speaking out against something you don’t know what the deal is?
Cassell: What I get online, just like any other American. What I’m supposed to understand about the bill should be available to me.
Colmes: It is; it’s been online for a long time; it’s also been all over the media…

So, Sandra Bullock Married This, huh?

Imagine you're Sandra Bullock. You're attractive, successful, probably perfectly pleasant. Basically, you've got options. Lots of options for fellas to spend your time with. So how do you end up saddled with this tool bag? I mean, seriously, just look at this owl casting of a human being.

Honestly, if you somehow ended up married to this enema nozzle, wouldn't you just expect that screwing porn stars would be the least awful thing he was likely to do during the course of your marriage?

And would you be surprised to read this:

Adding another potential bombshell element to the sudden explosion of Sandra Bullock’s marriage, RadarOnline.com has learned exclusively that Jesse James has more than 12 homemade sex tapes.

The tapes Jesse made with other women are shocking. “Most of the tapes feature a mass amount of Nazi paraphernalia,” an insider tells RadarOnline.com. “It’s all really quite disturbing.”

1 of 4

• <<>
• NEXT >>

So, what, did sandra Bullock lose a bet? Is she secretly awful? Maybe she thought she was getting this Jesse James:

At least we know that that Jesse James had a hand and a heart and a brain

Miss Him Yet?

This picture of a billboard in Minnesota has been making the rounds lately:



And I thought, yeah I sure do!
You know the new guy has been in office for over a year and has yet to invade a single country? He still hasn't declared any of our Constitutional rights optional. He hasn't, as far as I know, authorized any new forms of torture, or any warrantless wiretaps. He still hasn't claimed the ability to declare US citizens "enemy combatants," or any other made-up term and decide that habeus corpus will just not apply to them. I mean, what the hell? What has he been doing all this time? He certainly hasn't been clearing brush or reading My Pet Goat, the book so important that national crises will just have to wait until you're finished.

But anyway, I figured that this billboard just represented the viewpoint of one nutty Minnesotan, and no respectable person would share this opinion.
Apparently, the New York Times does not consider respectability to be a prerequisite for appearing on its op-ed pages, cuz look:

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Do You Miss Him Yet?

By STANLEY FISH

I know you’re not supposed to, but I just love to say I told you so.

What I told you back on Sept. 28, 2008, was that within a year of the day he left office George W. Bush would come to be regarded with affection and a little nostalgia.

Yeah, if you had said that he would be regarded with affection and nostalgia by some nut in Minnesota, then you'd be within your rights to gloat, but most people have the same low opinion of Bushie as they did when he left office.

Well it’s a bit more than a year now and signs of Bush’s rehabilitation are beginning to pop up. One is literally a sign, a billboard that appeared recently on I-35 in Minnesota. Occupying the right side (from the viewer’s viewpoint) is a picture of Bush smiling genially and waving his hand in a friendly gesture. Occupying the left side is a simple and direct question: “Miss me yet?”

Like a said, some nut in Minnesota. Do you have any polling data that says that people in general are feeling more forgiving of Dubya?

The image is all over the Internet, hundreds of millions of hits, and unscientific Web-based polls indicate that more do miss him than don’t.

Oh, well if the polls are unscientific AND Internet-based, they're bound to be relevant!

Oh, and you know who else has millions of hits? Charlie.

I know you said"hundreds of millions" of hits, but I don't believe you.

A perhaps more substantial sign incorporates a sign famous (or infamous) in the Bush presidency. The March 8 cover of Newsweek reproduces the famous 2003 photograph of Bush on the flight deck of the U.S.S. Lincoln. The president is in the left of the picture, striding away from the famous banner proclaiming “Mission Accomplished.”

Wow, the cover of Newsweek. He can now join the exalted ranks of those who have graced the cover of Newsweek, like:

Johnny Depp,

The I-Pod,

Facebook,

and a guy with autism.

It is a story that intersects with another, the story of the precipitous decline in Barack Obama’s support and of a growing suspicion, found on the left as well as on the right, where it is much more than a suspicion, that the politics of change may have been a slogan with less promise in its future than “Mission Accomplished.” (The imminent passage of a health care bill keeps being predicted, but so far no “victory at last.”)
Meanwhile, Bush’s policies came to seem less obviously reprehensible as the Obama administration drifted into embracing watered-down versions of many of them.

No, they still seem just as reprehensible, that's partly why Obama's approval ratings are down.
Are you really arguing that people are starting to miss Bush because Obama is doing a lot of the same things as Bush? And also, that people are disillusioned with Obama because he's too Bush-like?

How do you come up with this ridiculous argument? People are mad at Obama for being like Bush, whom they hate, and Obama's similarities to Bush make people miss Bush. If people miss Bush, wouldn't Obama's popularity increase in proportion to his similarity to Bush?

And now, right on schedule, Bush has resurfaced (just as I imagined him doing a year ago last September ) to join Bill Clinton in a humanitarian relief effort. He is officially a member in good standing of the ex-presidents club

So was Nixon.

and the longer he lives the more his reputation will be burnished. To be sure, his post-presidency resume is still thin, but we can expect it to be beefed up by good deeds, ceremonial appearances and the activities that will surround the building and opening of his library at Southern Methodist University.

Good deeds? Where the hell would you get that idea? When has Dubya ever done anything for anyone but Dubya or his cronies? What would you consider a "good deed?" Taking a few minutes between collecting 6-figure speaking fees from wingnut organizations to ask people to contribute to Haiti? You wanna see an ex-president doing good deeds? Watch Jimmy Carter build houses for Habitiat. Making nice for the TV cameras after a tragedy doesn't really compare. That's not a good deed, that's PR.

We’ll see Bush the tour guide and Bush the patron of historical scholarship and, perhaps, even Bush the seminar leader.

Tour guide? What the hell? Where would he be giving guided tours? You think if you go to his presidential library, he's gonna be showing folks around?
And patron of historical scholarship? That would be the death-knell of history in America. Seriously, no one, even the most ardent Bushie has ever used the words "Bush" and "scholarship" in the same sentence.

And the judgment of history? He will not go to the top of the list, but neither will he be the figure of fun and derision he seemed destined to be only a year ago.

Oh, hey, don't sell the man short! Let's start clearing some space on ount Fucking Rushmore! Squeeze over, Lincoln!
Of course he will still be the figure of derision he is now. What, is he going to get any less stupid or corrupt in the near future?

You heard it here.

Which is why I will never come here again.

At this point, I'd say I miss Corey Haim more than George W. Bush

This is Actually Published In The New York Freakin' Times!

Really! Look:

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Susan Etheridge for The New York Times

Ross Douthat joined The New York Times as an Op-Ed columnist in April 2009. He is the author of "Privilege: Harvard and the Education of the Ruling Class" (Hyperion, 2005) and the co-author, with Reihan Salam, of "Grand New Party: How Republicans Can Win the Working Class and Save the American Dream" (Doubleday, 2008).

---

In Search of a Jewish Narnia

Why is there no Jewish Narnia? That’s the provocative question raised by Michael Weingrad’s essay on Judaism and fantasy novels, published in the inaugural issue of the Jewish Review of Books.

Ooh, Ooh! I know! Call on me!

It's because Narnia is a made-up place from a book? And there is also no Christian Narnia, or Buddhist Narnia, or any Narnia because that book is fiction?

But really he’s raising a deeper issue, one that goes to the nature of the genre itself: “Why are there no works of modern fantasy that are profoundly Jewish in the way that, say, ‘The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe’ is Christian? Why no Jewish [C.S.] Lewises, and why no Jewish Narnias?”

Um, maybe because Jewish people have better things to do with their time?
maybe the Jewish literary world was too busy producing Howard Zinn, J.D.Salinger, Saul Bellow and Norman Mailer to come up with a Jewish C.S. Lewis?

Fantasy novels tend to involve re-workings and re-imaginings of the medieval and ancient European past, and they’re often shot through with nostalgia for agrarian communities, chivalric codes of social order, and pre-modernity in general. These conceits, Weingrad notes, “are not especially welcoming to Jews, who were too often at the wrong end of the medieval sword,”

And they all swore a pact never to write a fantasy novel. Because there is absolutely no Jewish folklore on which to base such a novel.

Except a quick check of Wikipedia does turn up this:

An example of typical mythology in the Talmud (חולין נט ע"ב - ע"ב, Chullin 59b) exists as a discussion about a giant deer and a giant lion which are both originated in a mythical forest called "Dvei Ilai".

Nope, no way you could write a fantasy story about giant lions in mythical forests!

In Jewish folklore, a golem (גולם; English pronunciation: /ˈɡoʊləm/ GOH-ləm) is an animated anthropomorphic being created entirely from inanimate matter. In modern Hebrew the word golem literally means "rock,"
The most famous golem narrative involves Judah Loew ben Bezalel the late 16th century chief rabbi of Prague, also known as the Maharal, who reportedly created a golem to defend the Prague ghetto from anti-Semitic attacks

^{Yeah, there's just no Jewish source material for fantasy!}

Nobel prize winner Isaac Bashevis Singer also wrote a version of the legend. Elie Wiesel wrote a children's book on the legend. [of the golem]

Yeah, but they weren't Jewish, were they? Those sound like Irish names to me.

Part and parcel of Judaism’s resistance to explorations in the realm of faerie, he goes on, is a discomfort with the semi-dualism that’s necessary to classic fantasy — the idea of a Devil figure, in other words, who seems capable of actually conquering the mortal world (be it Narnia or Middle-Earth) and binding it permanently in darkness. As Weingrad notes, correctly I think: “Christianity offers a far more developed tradition of evil as a supernatural, external, autonomous force than does Judaism, whose Satan (or Samael or Lilith or Ashmedai) are limited in their power and usually rather obedient to God’s wishes.” Tolkien’s Sauron makes sense in a Christian universe; he makes less sense in a Jewish one.

Yeah, they totally don't get the whole good vs evil, God vs Devil thing in the Jewish culture. Except. . .

According to historian Bernard McGinn, the combat myth's imagery influenced Jewish mythology. The myth of Hashem's triumph over Leviathan, a symbol of chaos, has the form of a combat myth.^[39] In addition, McGinn thinks the Hebrews applied the "combat myth" motif to the relationship between God and Satan: originally a deputy in God's court, assigned to act as mankind's "accuser" (satan means "to oppose"), Satan evolved into a being with "an apparently independent realm of operation as a source of evil" — no longer God's deputy but his opponent in a cosmic struggle.^[40]

^{Hmm, God's "opponent in a cosmic struggle." But also "limited in power" and "rather obedient to God's wishes."}

What he seems to have demonstrated is that modern fantasy depends on Christianity, or at least a Christian-pagan synthesis of some kind, for its forms, conventions, and traditions. This suggests that you could write a novel that embodies a kind of Jewish critique of fantasy. . . But the genre itself will remain irreducably Christian, and a truly Judaic fantasy would have to belong to, or invent, a different genre altogether.

A Jewish Narnia, meanwhile, will be nothing like Narnia, and the real question raised by “Why There is No Jewish Narnia” isn’t whether such a work will ever exist—it’s whether Michael Weingard will be able to recognize it.

Actually, I think there are two real questions raised by this essay.
#1--Who gives a fuck whether there is a Jewish Narnia or not?
#2--What the hell happened to the standards at the New York Times?

Ah, Hell Yeah! It's About To Get All Crazy Up In This Shit!

Dammmmm, son! The GOP is down with the youth!

Don't believe me?

Check this shit out, brah!

Aw Yeah! My man B-Hume!

Yes, it's X-PAC! Because if you want to appeal to young voters, you gotta go X-TREME!

When should you register? How about NOW, fool?

REGISTER NOW:
Your assignment, should you choose to accept it is to go to CPAC for the speeches, and *chill* at XPAC to recharge and boost for the next day. From the “Epic Nights at XPAC” to the late night comedy sessions XPAC has it all. Movies, Video Games, Wifi and Food. Nightly receptions with the biggest names in Conservative America, and you, the next Difference maker in training.

You wanna chill, don't ya? Yeah, you better, cuz it's gonna be EPIC!

XPAC is here!

If you love CPAC for the speeches and information,[and what kind of loser doesn't love spe-zeeches and informatizzle, you heard?] you’ll love the XPAC Lounge for the pop culture personalities, entertainment, music and laid back programming that brings a whole new experience to CPAC! Get your tickets today!

Pop culture personalities! Just check out this lineup, dawg!

There's a nasty, foul-mouthed old lady!

There's a washed-up has-been actor. With emo hair!

There's that kind of cute girl who dressed up as a hooker!

And hold on to your hats, your backwards-facing baseball caps, that is!
It's the HUME-Inator!

All the hip kids are down with Brit Hume!

Think we're done? Hell nah!

There's a weird, middle aged black guy!

He's black. That counts for something, right?

And Andrew Mutha-Fukkin Napolitano!

Huckabee's even bringing his daughter!

Now that's youth-appealing!

“10 Questions with Stevie B. featuring: Sarah Huckabee”

Stevie B! That's Steven Baldwin to you squares!

Seriously, yo. It's gonna be RADICAL!

"I wouldn't be surprised if somebody of Joe-the-Plumber stature came in three times a day to come in and rally the kids," CPAC spokesman Ian Walters said.

Aw shit! It's on now!

11pm – XPAC “Late Night” – “Music Jam”
sponsored by Parcbench.com
LIVE MUSIC PLUS Special performances by:
Rappers: Hi-Caliber, Young Cons*, and many more!

Late Night? 11 PM? Dude, that's hella late!

Awesome! Seriously check it out: http://www.xpac2010.com/

But don't blame me if you wet your pants from laughing so hard.

Um, I mean from the super-extreme radical awesomeness!

The Best Reason Yet to Repeal "Don't Ask / Don't Tell"

The best argument FOR repealing DADT is This guy's argument AGAINST it.

On Tuesday, the Missouri State Senate debated President Obama’s call
to repeal Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell (DADT)

Because The Missouri State Senate is the branch of government charged with overseeing military policy.

Both sides regurgitated familiar arguments but State Senator Gary Nodler, who is running in the Republican primary for Rep. Roy Blunt’s (R-MI) seat,
carved out a new reason for maintaining the current policy.
Nodler suggested that allowing openly gay soldiers in the military “could represent
a ‘cultural affront‘” to terrorists intent on killing American troops.

A cultural affront to terrorists? Hell, yeah! Let's do it!



I want to see troops like this in every cave in Afghanistan!



I want this dude to personally capture and interrogate Bin Laden.

And these guys can escort terror suspects to the Hague, making out during the entire flight.


Or we could follow the advice of douchebag Gary Nodler and just try to avoid offending the terrorists. Maybe we could start forcing women to wear burkas and keep girls out of school, you know in order to keep from offending the terrorists.

Missouri Republicans: Gary Nodler, who is running for Roy Blunt's seat in Congress, is afraid of offending the terrorists. When you vote in the Republican Primary, remember: Gary Nodler wants us to adapt our behavior to avoid opffending the terrorists. Now, I'm not saying that GARY NODLER LOVES THE TERRORISTS, but can you really say that he doesn't?

Who are these guys?

Who are these four ersatz Watergate plumbers who tried to bug Sen. Landrieu's phones?
And which is the biggest tool?

Well, let's see.

First there's James O'Keefe. It's pretty hard to be a bigger bag of douche than James O'Keefe. For one thing, this was his statement after posting bail:

O'Keefe on Tuesday told reporters "veritas" -- Latin for "truth" -- when he was released from jail. Later, he shouted "The truth shall set me free." (NOLA.COM)

Then he sent out this "tweet"

The truth? Really? The truth is, you committed a crime. No matter what your intentions were, and let's pretend your intention was to practice journalism, you committed a crime. In front of witnesses. Witnesses like federal marshals and FBI agents. Not smart.

I know, it's just shocking that you got caught, what with you being such the master of disguise. I know when I saw you in your pimp get-up,

I immediately thought, Oh my God, that there's an honest-to-Gosh-darn flesh peddler that is.

Or an extra from Doctor Detroit.

Or Kramer

So you were able to fool some of the folks at ACORN, so you figured what the hell, security at a United States Senator's office should be just as gullible?

On a side note, people need to stop referring to O'Keefe as a "conservative filmmaker." He records pranks on a fucking cell phone. Check YouTube, there are about a million drunk frat boys doing the same thing and none of them gets the title of "filmmaker." Woody Allen is a filmmaker. Martin Scorsese is a filmmaker. James O'Keefe is just some guy with a cell phone and a distinct lack of character.

So who else was involved in this brilliant caper?

Well, there's this putz:

This is one Stan Dai. Stan is most well known for, well actually he isn't well-known for anything, or wasn't before the incident, but he did write this:

Really.

It was published in a student newspaper at George Washington University. Really.

I'm not going to reprint it here, because, unlike GWU, I have certain standards! But let me just say that the essay includes these headings:

"The Giant Cookie Snorcher that Could"

and

"My Angry Penis"

I don't know what a "cookie snorcher" is, but the story under that heading involves an netity named Joan who is a "five foot tall vagina with a black plasyic wig on her head."

And the rest of the diatribe is about as misogynistic as that might lead you to expect. Also stupid. And poorly written. If you want to see just how awful it is, click here, but don't say I didn't warn you.

Also, there's Joe Basel, who is apparently dating one of Scott Brown's daughters

Which, I guess, you can't really hold against him.

And then there's Bob Flanagan, about whom the AP says only:

The fourth man, Robert Flanagan, 24, wrote for the blog of the New Orleans-based conservative Pelican Institute.

(just for fun, do a google search foe "Bob Flanagan." No wait, don't!)