The Stupidest Question I've Heard in a While

From some stupid website called "Big Journalism"

does anyone really believe that Andrew Breitbart would intentionally distort a video clip to make a one-day splash?

Aha. Ahahaha. BaHaHaHa!!!!!!

Risk his growing reputation with a deliberate, easily refutable distortion?

Growing Repu. . . BAHAHAHAAAA!!!!

Oh, God! Stop, you're killing me!

Risk his growing reputation! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Okay, no, I'm sorry! Would Breitbart intentionally distort a video? Just to make a one-day splash? Seriously? That's like asking if John Dillinger would intentionally rob a bank just to get money! Oh, the very idea! As if Dillinger would risk his sterling reputation just for the financial gain he might expect from bank robbery! For shame! Why, robbery was the furthest thing from Dillinger's mind! He only asked the teller to put the relevant currency in his bag, if she misunderstood and accidentally gave him all the money in the bank, well how was he to know?

Would Andrew Breitbart intentionally distort? How is that even a question? The only way I could see anyone even half-seriously posing that question is if. . . hang on a second, let me check something. . .




Oh, okay. Now it makes sense.

Oh, how could anyone think that Mr. Burns would do something dishonest?!?!
Who could suggest such a thing?

So good going Breitbart, you got someone who works for you to defend you. Great job. Maybe you can call him as a witness when Shirley Sherrod sues you for defamation of character. Hopefully after ACORN finishes suing you for libel, and every ACORN employee who was made to look like a criminal in your fraudulent bullshit pimp 'n' ho video sues you for defamation.

James O'Keefe does Comedy!

Statement from James O'Keefe

On the Landrieu incident

The government has now confirmed what has always been clear: No one tried to wiretap or bug Senator Landrieu’s office. Nor did we try to cut or shut down her phone lines. Reports to this effect over the past 48 hours are inaccurate and false.

You know, cutting or shutting down her phone lines would actually have made more sense than whatever it is you were trying to do. So would wiretapping or bugging her office. If you weren't there to do any of those thins, why the hell were you even bothering?

But that's neither here nor there, go ahead and do your little comedy routine, Jimmy.

As an investigative journalist,

As an investigative journalist, my goal is to expose corruption and lack of concern for citizens by government and other institutions, as I did last year when our investigations revealed the massive corruption and fraud perpetrated by ACORN.

For decades, investigative journalists have used a variety
of tactics to try to dig out and reveal the truth.

I learned from a number of sources

I learned from a number of sources that many of Senator Landrieu’s constituents were having trouble getting through to her office to tell her that they didn’t want her taking millions of federal dollars in exchange for her vote on the healthcare bill. When asked about this, Senator Landrieu’s explanation was that, “Our lines have been jammed for weeks.” I decided to investigate why a representative of the people would be out of touch with her constituents for “weeks” because her phones were broken.

In investigating this matter, we decided to visit Senator Landrieu’s district office – the people’s office –

we decided to visit Senator Landrieu’s district office – the people’s office –
to ask the staff if their phones were working.

On reflection, I could have used a different approach to this investigation,

It has been amazing to witness the journalistic malpractice committed by many of the organizations covering this story.

The public will judge whether reporters who can’t get their facts straight have the credibility to question my integrity as a journalist.

Who are these guys?

Who are these four ersatz Watergate plumbers who tried to bug Sen. Landrieu's phones?
And which is the biggest tool?

Well, let's see.

First there's James O'Keefe. It's pretty hard to be a bigger bag of douche than James O'Keefe. For one thing, this was his statement after posting bail:

O'Keefe on Tuesday told reporters "veritas" -- Latin for "truth" -- when he was released from jail. Later, he shouted "The truth shall set me free." (NOLA.COM)

Then he sent out this "tweet"

The truth? Really? The truth is, you committed a crime. No matter what your intentions were, and let's pretend your intention was to practice journalism, you committed a crime. In front of witnesses. Witnesses like federal marshals and FBI agents. Not smart.

I know, it's just shocking that you got caught, what with you being such the master of disguise. I know when I saw you in your pimp get-up,

I immediately thought, Oh my God, that there's an honest-to-Gosh-darn flesh peddler that is.

Or an extra from Doctor Detroit.

Or Kramer

So you were able to fool some of the folks at ACORN, so you figured what the hell, security at a United States Senator's office should be just as gullible?

On a side note, people need to stop referring to O'Keefe as a "conservative filmmaker." He records pranks on a fucking cell phone. Check YouTube, there are about a million drunk frat boys doing the same thing and none of them gets the title of "filmmaker." Woody Allen is a filmmaker. Martin Scorsese is a filmmaker. James O'Keefe is just some guy with a cell phone and a distinct lack of character.

So who else was involved in this brilliant caper?

Well, there's this putz:

This is one Stan Dai. Stan is most well known for, well actually he isn't well-known for anything, or wasn't before the incident, but he did write this:

Really.

It was published in a student newspaper at George Washington University. Really.

I'm not going to reprint it here, because, unlike GWU, I have certain standards! But let me just say that the essay includes these headings:

"The Giant Cookie Snorcher that Could"

and

"My Angry Penis"

I don't know what a "cookie snorcher" is, but the story under that heading involves an netity named Joan who is a "five foot tall vagina with a black plasyic wig on her head."

And the rest of the diatribe is about as misogynistic as that might lead you to expect. Also stupid. And poorly written. If you want to see just how awful it is, click here, but don't say I didn't warn you.

Also, there's Joe Basel, who is apparently dating one of Scott Brown's daughters

Which, I guess, you can't really hold against him.

And then there's Bob Flanagan, about whom the AP says only:

The fourth man, Robert Flanagan, 24, wrote for the blog of the New Orleans-based conservative Pelican Institute.

(just for fun, do a google search foe "Bob Flanagan." No wait, don't!)

Little-Known Facts!

Amaze Your Friends!

Impress The Ladies!

Bore Your Co-Workers!

With Your Knowledge of

Little-Known Facts!

Did you know that the President of the United States is a US Citizen?

It's true. He was born in Hawaii, which is one of the states referred to in the name "United States!" Sounds crazy, but it's 100% TRUE!


Did you know that Medicare is a program run by the Federal Government?

Well, it's true! Medicare and the Veteran's administration are both healthcare programs run successfully by the United States Government!

Did you know that "czars" in the US Government are not actually Czars at all?

It's true! "czar" is just a nickname. The "drug czar" or the "energy czar" are actually NOT dynastic Russian dictators at all! Just like Elvis Presley had no ruling authority as the "King" of Rock & Roll, czars in the US government can not actually tax the peasantry to build the Hermitage.

And did you know that the position of "drug czar" dates back to the Reagan Administration?

Strange as it sounds, that is also true!

Did you know that ACORN is a small, poorly-funded group of misguided do-gooders, and not the all-powerful boogeyman controlling Washington, DC from behind the scenes?

Also true! An actual acorn has about as much power and influence as the ACORN organization! It's actually the Freemasons pulling the strings from behind the curtain!*



*Note: that's a joke. I do not subscribe to that particular brand of lunacy. Everyone knows it's the Shriners who control the world!