How did Trump get my E-mail?

How did this show up in my in-box?

The Trump Effect

Why America's Most Famous Billionaire
May Soon Prove to Be Its Most Influential

 

 

Billionaire Donald Trump has put his celebrity status and business power behind Mitt Romney 

Business power? what does that even mean? How is there no explanation of that term? What is "business power" and how is it something that could be "put behind" a candidate?

and with his undeniable appeal among independent voters,

A voting bloc made up of the half-dozen or so people who don't loathe Donald Trump. (All of whom work for CNN)

and with his undeniable appeal among independent voters, a Newsmax magazine special report finds that he may prove to be a political kingmaker come this November. 

Ooooh, Newsmax. Now it makes sense. The online magazine for people who think the moon landing was fake and professional wrestling is real. 

Newsmax magazine's report — "The Trump Effect" — has just been released and reveals Donald Trump's pivotal role in the GOP primary and how he is working behind the scenes to engineer a victory for Mitt Romney. 

Oh, his pivotal role? His pivotal role? You mean waiting until it became obvious that Mitt Romney was inevitably going to be the nominee before jumping in to endorse him? That pivotal role? And when has Trump ever done anything "behind the scenes?" He's been shoving his ugly mug in front of any TV camera he can find to trot out the embarrassing birther crap over and over no matter how many times he's been debunked.Engineer a victory for Romney? If Romney wins, it will be in spite of the albatrosses around his neck with names like Trump, Nugent, and Jameson.

First Lady of Porn Jenna Jameson Endorses Mitt Romney for President

"I'm very looking forward to a Republican being back in office," the ex-porn queen recently told CBS' San Francisco affiliate. "When you're rich, you want a Republican in office." 

  

Less embarrassing than Trump.

On a side note, how pathetic is it that Romney not only accepts, but actively seeks out the endorsement of someone like Ted Nugent? He had to go meet and interview with Nugent before getting the seal of approval of Mr. "Yank Me Crank Me." The man who wants to be president goes groveling to the guy who waves around machine guns while threatening the Speaker of the House and two US Senators? The guy who admits he shit and pissed himself to get out of going to VietNam?  The guy who made a living singing songs about vaginas while wearing a loincloth? That's the guy whose approval you need to run for president? What a country!

 

So how in the hell did Newsmax magazine get the idea that Donald Trump is in a position to be come some sort of a kingmaker?

The Newsmax magazine report features Klein's exclusive interview with Trump

Oh, of course. They asked Trump. 

In this week's Newsmax, our sources tell us that Donald Trump is the world's greatest lover, a world-class athlete, and is smarter than science! Yes, our source is Donald Trump, why do you ask? He's the greatest, most luxurious source the world has ever seen!

It also reveals the surprising results of a Newsmax poll that provides a unique picture of the "Trump voters" — independent voters in key swing states who listen to Donald Trump. 

Pictured: Both of them

 Newsmax includes incisive commentary from such experts as Bill O'Reilly, George Will, Kathleen Parker, Michael Reagan, Christopher Ruddy, Ben Stein, Dr. Laura and David Limbaugh — to name a few. 

Jeezus, you really got the right-wing farm team workin' for ya there. You couldn't even get the top Limbaugh.

This edition of Newsmax magazine also includes:

• Hidden welfare: disability claims soar under Obama 

You know, I've been on disability. I was laid up for a couple of months after an accident. It is NOT welfare. I paid into disability insurance before I was on it, and I'm paying into it now. It comes out of my paycheck. So fuck you, Newsmax.

• Mayors take action against bloated union pensions
• Corruption laws hurting U.S. businesses 

If our businesses aren't going to be allowed to be corrupt, how can they expect to survive? And what's with these union guys expecting to collect on the pensions they earned during their working years?

• The weight culprit: high-fructose corn syrup linked to obesity

What a scoop! Wait, this isn't 2005!

• Campaign '12: Wisconsin could go red this year

Yeah, Wisconson's totally on the verge of going red! Wait, this isn't 1955!
( you know, cuz back then, "Red" meant that. . . oh, ask your grandpa, he probably got that one)

• Mark McKinnon: GOP should woo independent voters

Brilliant! Also, the Olympic athletes should try to win medals, and vegetarians should avoid eating meat.

Ben Stein says Newsmax reveals the “unafraid, uncomplicated, bare-knuckles truth about today’s dangerous world.” 

And who would have a more objective view of Newsmax than a guy who gets paid by Newsmax? Which this Newsmax promo pointed out itself just like 2 paragraphs ago! Remember: Newsmax includes incisive commentary from such experts as Bill O'Reilly, George Will, Kathleen Parker, Michael Reagan, Christopher Ruddy, Ben Stein, 

You can't get a reccomendation from someone a bit less biased?

Mike Reagan, the elder son of the late President Ronald Reagan and chairman and president of The Reagan Legacy Foundation, says: “I guarantee that you’ll love Newsmax magazine. The liberal media moguls hate Newsmax.”

Wow. That is just, actually it's kinda sad. It's like you're not even trying. I know your target market is people with no critical thinking skills, but still, have a little fucking pride in your work.

And Sarah Palin says Newsmax is one of her top news sources and describes it as "very very helpful, valuable."  

Geez, One of her top news sources? So one of the sources included in "ya know, all of them?"
And you couldn't even get her to try and string together a complete sentence? "very very helpful, valuable" is the best word-salad she could toss for this?





Pathetic.

Dear God, Why Is Ben Stein Still Around?

Like, I assume, most normal people, I was blissfully unaware of the existence of Ben Stein until I saw "Ferris Beuler's Day Off" back in 1980-something. And like most everyone, I found it amusing to hear him say "Anyone? Anyone? Beuuuuuhler?" in a flat, expressionless monotone. Then some ad exec saw that and said to himself "Hey, if it's funny once, it's bound to be funny ten thousand fucking times," and soon Stein was doing ads for Chips Ahoy, and Clear Eyes, and Comcast, and then some credit-score scam, and everyone just wanted to throw a shoe through the TV screen whenever they heard that dull, dreary sound of pure tedium. Then I didn't see him for a while, and I had hope again. Hope that finally, finally, Ben Stein had retired from "acting" or died or whatever, just so long as he was out of public life. Then today, I saw this:

Here in Atlanta, some ridiculous little jagoff organization called "Seize The Day" is throwing a circle-jerk rally at Philips Arena, home of the Hawks, Thrashers, and the smell of failure. And who's that, second from the right? Ben Fucking Stein!

He's everybody's favorite deadpan teacher in "Ferris Bueller's Day Off." But in real life, Ben Stein is a brilliant writer, lawyer, actor, social and political commentator and financial expert. With his distinctive voice and offbeat style, Ben dissects today's economy and helps audiences balance life's priorities, even as he offers an eye-opening tour of its greatest absurdities.

Absurdities? What know you of absurdities, Mr. Stein? Ben Stein having an acting career, now that's an absurdity! Ben Stein being referred to a "brilliant writer?" well, let's see:

Ben Stein: Raising My Taxes Is a Punishment

Asks: If Raising Taxes Won't Help Economy, Why Am I Being Punished?

Oh, so many reasons. So many reasons to punish you, Ben.
Let's begin with the dishonest sub-headline.
If raising taxes won't help the economy, then why. . .? You could apply that logic to anything.
If eating breakfast won't help the economy, then why should I bother to pour milk on my Lucky Charms?
Here's a thought - maybe it's not about helping the economy. Maybe it's about paying down some of the debt you conservatives are supposedly so concerned about.

I am a fairly upper income taxpayer. Not anything even remotely close to sports stars or movie stars or financial big boys. But I am above the level Mr. Obama says makes me rich. [also the level that EVERYONE ELSE says makes you rich] So, in the midst of a severe recession, I am to have my taxes raised dramatically.

Dramatically? Really? Are you really serious?

I am not quite sure what my sin is.

Um, here's a hint:

I worked for almost every dollar I have, except for a small percentage my parents left me by virtue of hard work and Spartan living, and most of that was taken by the federal estate tax.

Okay, that's a lie. According to Wikipedia, your father died in 1999. In 1999, the estate tax didn't kick in until after the first $650,000.00, and after that, the very tippy-top rate it could reach was 55%. A significant percentage, but hardly "most."
And your father was an economist, which is a perfectly legitimate profession, but let's not pretend that he was out digging ditches for a living. According to Wikipedia he was: a senior fellow at the American Enterprise Institute and was on the board of contributors of The Wall Street Journal, so not exactly back-breaking work, collecting wingnut welfare.

I have a hell of a lot less than I did before the stock market and real estate market crashes.

Oh, no! Your un-earned income is going down! Someone get this man a tax break, stat!
Thank God you still get paid by the syndicator to complain about how little income you have!

I didn't get a bailout or any part of a stimulus program, except for traffic jams as the roads in Beverly Hills got worked on for the 10th time in the last 10 years (or so it seems).

How did you not get a bailout? Clearly, you and your Beverly Hills neighbors are struggling as badly as GM! And it must be rough having your streets worked on all the time. I'll think a kind thought for you next time the West Atlanta potholes destroy my alignment.

I pay my income taxes, and after them and the commissions I pay my agent, I am left with about 35 cents for every dollar I earn.

If your agent is able to get YOU acting gigs, count yourself lucky that he=is commission isn't your immortal soul!

I own some real estate in California and Idaho and the District of Columbia. Naturally, I pay property tax, supposedly mostly to educate local children. Not far from me, the city of Los Angeles just spent about $600 million to build the most lavish school in America for about 4,000 children. That's my money. Naturally, I had no say in it.

Oh, yeah that's tough. I remember feeling the same way when I had no say in whether my tax dollars were going to fund an illegal, ill-advised, immoral pointless war that you neocons insisted on. But yeah, kids having nice schools to go to, that's a real bitch. that's way worse than seeing kids coming home in body bags and thinking that's my tax dollars at work.

I am not asking for any tears.

Then shut the fuck up! Not asking for any tears? Then what the hell is this whinefest all about? ooh, I'm being punished! Ooh, my inheritance got taken! Ooh, I have to pay for schools! You don't want any tears? Bitch, please!

I am not asking for any tears. I live a great life, have a fabulous wife, a great son and daughter-in-law, four wonderful, furry dogs and six cats, all adopted. I have more than enough to eat.

But what I don't get is this: There is no known economic theory under which raising my taxes in the midst of a severe recession will help the economy recover.

Goddammit, we already went over this!

It isn't part of any well known monetarist or Keynesian theory. So if it does no good to raise our taxes, I assume we are being punished.

You know, I'm pretty sure you're smarter than this. I think you're purposely using this specious argument because you know that your readers are easily fooled. It won't help the economy recover, therefore it does no good? You know what else doesn't help the economy recover? You writing your stupid dishonest column. Therefore your column does no good, so I can only assume that your readers are being punished.

But for what? I don't own slaves. I employ a lot of people full- and part-time and they are all happy with their pay. When charity calls, I almost always write out a check. I don't have a yacht or ponies or a plane. My wife doesn't wear a tiara. I don't gamble.

Hey, I don't own slaves either! Neither does anyone else I know. Maybe no one should have to pay taxes! It's not fair that even though I own zero slaves, my money is still taken to build roads, and have a police department, and have mail delivered to my doorstep. What did I do wrong that I should have to pay for hospitals and national parks and the Marine Corps?

What did I do wrong? I know I have often lost my temper with my wife and the cats, but that's not a crime, yet. I tried to be successful, which is what I thought I was supposed to do. When did it turn out that was a crime to be punished? Maybe when the economy recovers, raising my taxes makes sense, but for now, it's just punishment, and I can't figure out what for.

Really? You can't figure it out? Here's a hint: