Health Care

While trying to make the case for keeping Guantanamo Bay open as a detention center, Republican Sen. John Ensign said of the detainees, “They get better health care than the average American citizen does.”

The sad thing is, he may be right.

Imagine if we ran other vital services the way we ran healthcare. I think it might go a little something like this. . . .(picture gets wavy). . . (dream sequence harp music). . . .

OPERATOR: 911, What's your emergency?

CALLER: Someone's breaking into my house!

OPERATOR: May I have your account number please?

CALLER: Look, I need the police!

OPERATOR: And I'll be happy to assist you today, sir, but I am going to need your account number.

CALLER: Oh, God! It's um, 54A-65293

OPERATOR: Great now how can I help you?

CALLER: I need the police! Someone's breaking into my house!

OPERATOR: Ok, I'll be happy to send an officer out to you. How do you want to take care of the co-pay today?

CALLER: Can't you just bill me?

OPERATOR: Sure, we can do that. Let me just verify your address.

CALLER: 1705 Maple Drive.

OPERATOR: Okay, got it. Now is the intruder armed?

CALLER: I don't know!

OPERATOR: Okay, I'm going to need you to find out, because if an armed response is required, I'll have to check your policy and see if we can cover that today. Normally, for an armed response, there is a 20% deductible.

CALLER: Hurry, he's in my house! And he has a gun!

OPERATOR: Great, so that clears up that question. Now since he is carrying a firearm, that's going to require a 2-officer response. Let me see who we have in the area. Officer Jenkins, no he's not taking any new referrals. Seargeant Thomas, not without a referral from a primary patrolman. See, the problem is that there just aren't a lot of officers we can use with your basic policy.

CALLER: Never mind, I've already been sodomized and murdered.

AND SCENE!

Let's have a nice round of applause for the not-ready-for-single-payer players!

Manufactured Outrage

In an apparent attempt to prove that the left can gin up a fake controversy as well as the right, Keith Olberman, the Huffington Post, and others are just OUTRAGED! by this comment from Gov. Rick Perry's spokesman:

Carney said he agreed the Republican Party needed to attract new voters. But, he added, "that doesn't mean you take your principles and throw them out the door and become a whorehouse and let anybody in who wants to come in, regardless."

And since perry's opponent in the primary is the undeniably female Kay Bailey Hutchison, some people are acting as if they really believe that the "whorehouse" reference is a misogynistic shot at Ms. Hutchison.

Hey, Keith. Remember how we all rolled our eyes when Republicans tried to paint Obama's "lipstick on a pig" reference as a sexist jab at Sarah Palin? Remember?
Remember how stupid and desperate and disingenuous they looked? Well, now you're kind of doing the same thing. So quit it!
Now let's speak of this no more.

UPDATE

Police look for mom, son who fled to avoid Chemo.

AP – FILE -- In a May 7, 2009 file photo Colleen Hauser, right, comforts her 13-year-old son Daniel during …

• Slideshow:Parents object to restarting son's chemo

By AMY FORLITI and PATRICK CONDON, Associated Press Writers Amy Forliti And Patrick Condon, Associated Press Writers – 53 mins ago

SLEEPY EYE, Minn. – A courtroom clash between medicine and faith took a criminal turn, with police around the country on the lookout Wednesday for a Minnesota mother who fled with her cancer-stricken 13-year-old son rather than consent to chemotherapy.

A court-ordered X-ray on Monday showed a tumor growing in Daniel Hauser's chest, and doctors said it will probably kill him without conventional medical treatment.

Before she took off, Colleen Hauser told a judge that she wished to treat her son's cancer with natural healing methods advocated by an American Indian religious group known as the Nemenhah Band. But even that group's founder said Hauser made a mistake by running from the law.

Ben Shapiro

Today, I stumbled on to the writings of someone named Ben Shapiro. Oh, internet, is there no end to your delights?

Here's an example of the special blend of stupid and paranoid that Mr. Shapiro is rocking:

If You Disagree With Obama, Are You Anti-American?

by Ben Shapiro

05/13/2009


If you attack President Barack Obama’s policies, are you attacking America? According to today’s left, the answer is yes: Barack Obama is America. And opposition to Barack Obama or any of his policies is therefore, by definition, anti-American.

Ooh, ooh, is this the part where we get to make up ridiculous opinions and attribute them to people we don't like? I love this part! Let me try!

Um, if you like 7-up, does that automatically mean you're a racist pedophile? According to Ben Shapiro, yes it does!

That was fun! But I digress, do go on.

Just listen to alleged comedienne Wanda Sykes at the White House Correspondents Dinner this past week:
Okay, hold it right there. Was there anyone on either side who didn't think that Wanda's Limbaugh riff was in bad taste? Olberman trashed her on Countdown!

"Rush Limbaugh said he hopes this administration fails … He just wants the country to fail. To me, that’s treason. He’s not saying anything differently than what Osama bin Laden is saying." This is not a sentiment mouthed merely by the uncouth followers of the Obama administration. It is a sentiment repeatedly expressed by Obama himself.

Really? Obama himself? When has Obama ever said anything like that? I trust you have at least a couple good examples coming up next. . .

In his inaugural address, he averred "the ground has shifted" beneath his critics. In his December 2008 meeting with state governors, he informed them, "We are not going to be hampered by ideology."

WHAT? What the Fuck? How do those statements relate to what Wanda Sykes was talking about? Do you understand what words mean? You remind me of an old Dana Gould joke, wherein he talks about his friend, let's call him Ben Shapiro." He asks his friend "hey, Ben Shapiro, what time is it? And Ben Shapiro responds "I'm not gay!"

Today, Obama and his followers demonize anyone who challenges the Obama agenda as unpatriotic traitors to the country. Even leaving aside U.S. Department of Homeland Security Director Janet Napolitano’s egregious report on the threat of "right-wing extremism," Obama’s targeting of Rush Limbaugh, and the likely Obama-influenced United Kingdom banning of radio talk show host Michael Savage, Obama’s entire persona is geared toward his personal elevation

Are you actually serious? Do you actually not know that Ms Napolitano had NOTHING to do with the DHS report on right wing extremism? Even if your diligent avoidance of actual knowledge has succeeded in your not knowing this, the common sense God gave a mule will tell you that there is no way the DHS could have put together this report that quickly. And do you really think that Obama gives a rat's ass whether England bans Micheal Savage? Nobody cares except Micheal Savage. And even he barely cares, since as he says, he wasn't going to go there anyway.

Often, such economic fascism begins with talk about speculators. "Until we apply terror to speculators -- shooting on the spot -- we won’t get anywhere," Lenin said in 1918. Hitler directed the Nazi electoral platform against "Jewish speculators" in 1928. Today, Obama derides investors in Chrysler as "a small group of speculators," bluntly stating, "I don’t stand with them."

So, Obama used a word that was also used by Hitler and Stalin, so that means, what exactly?

His website, BarackObama.com, continues to run apace despite his elevation to the presidency -- only now, the focus of the website is "Organizing for America." The website leads off with this Leninesque quote from Obama: "I’m asking you to believe. Not just in my ability to bring about real change in Washington … I’m asking you to believe in yours."

Yeah, that actually sounds more like Lennon

Than Lenin.









and you sound like this:

Jesse Ventura Kicks Some FOX Ass!

It's amazing to me that no matter how asinine and brutish they seem on stage, oops, I mean in the totally real ring of mortal combat that is totally not fake, pro wrestlers all seem to be pretty cool and pretty smart in real life.
Jesse Ventura destroys FOX & Friends like it was Andy Kaufman in a cage match. You know these doofuses are overmatched from the start when blondie introduces him as "the governator!" Hey genius, that's Schwarzenegger you're thinking of. Different state, different party, totally different person. Great job!