Marc Mezvinsky is a lucky SOB

Marc Mezvinsky is one lucky guy.

The man who's marrying Chelsea Clinton

And not just because Chelsea Clinton is easy on the eyes. And not just because she's Stanford-smart, which is like Yale-smart without the evil.
No, Marc Mezvinsky is one lucky guy because he will be the only married man in the US who can rest assured that Bill Clinton won't hit on his wife.

Sarah Palin Finds Something Else She Can Quit

So Sarah Palin was in Washington State for Thanksgiving week, and the Tri-City Herald has this story:

Palin participates in Turkey Trot

By Kristin M. Kraemer, Herald staff writer

Most of the story deals with the creepy, cultish behavior of her fans, but there was also this little detail:

Palin had announced on Twitter that she would be running the 5k race organized by the Benton-Franklin Chapter of the Red Cross.

She didn't finish the race, opting to leave the course early to avoid more crowds at the end. About 40 minutes into the run, word started trickling out to people gathered at the finish line that she was gone.

Seriously, Sarah? You can't even finish a frakin 5-K for charity?
And I could understand if you didn't finish because you were too tired, I probably couldn't run 5 kilometers either, but no - you quit because you didn't want to deal with all these regular American folks that you claim to love so much and to represent and to be one of.
Pathetic!

Even more pathetic, though are the Palin-worshipers who fawn over her everywhere she goes. The story in the Herald centers around creepy couple Cynthia and Gary Waddoups, who came to the 5-K just to bask in Palin's presence. No, really!

The Waddoupses have been watching Palin's Facebook page for announcements about her public appearances and upcoming Richland book signing. And it was all politics that drew them out early on the bitter cold holiday because "just being near her" was like a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

"Sorry, we're stalking Sarah Palin, I'm afraid," said Gary Waddoups.

"In a big way," his wife added.

And what do you do when you finally get to meet your hero?

Cynthia Waddoups' wish was fulfilled when she handed Palin two pairs of cashmere/wool socks she'd found in Walla Walla.

Socks? What the hell? You give her socks? Socks you found in Walla Walla?

So if I ever meet Keith Richards, I should present him with, what, some tighty-whiteys that I found in Kalamazoo?

she handed Palin two pairs of cashmere/wool socks she'd found in Walla Walla. One pair was for Palin's son, Trig, and she suggested the other pair could go to grandson, Tripp.

Palin immediately put the socks on Trig, then grasped Waddoups' hand and talked with her before moving on.

Good thing the baby is out in the cold morning air with bare feet.

"She was very nice," said Cynthia Waddoups. . . "That made our day," Gary Waddoups said of Palin. "Her reaction was so genuine. You wouldn't get that out of other people."

Right. No one else would pretend to like a crappy gift. Especially not someone with political aspirations.

But the thing that made me want to cry was this description of a button worn by another Palin fanatic:

. . . Thompson of West Richland, who wore a Rosie the Riveter pin with the words, "Women like Palin make America strong."

Yes, America is made strong by quitters.

Pathetic! Rosie the Riveter must be turning over in her grave.

And yes, I know Rosie the Riveter is not a real person. But Norman Rockwell is probably turning over in his grave.

Too Late!

I Save You Ten Bucks

On Thanksgiving day, Mrs. Chaos, myself, and a friend saw
"The Road."

I don't want to spoil the plot, such as it is, for anyone who is going to insist on subjecting themselves to this movie, but I will just say thay, after the first 20 minutes or so, I spent the next Two Hours rooting for the main characters to commit suicide.

I know that this movie is getting good reviews, and yes the cast is terrific. And the movie is visually impressive. But it's all in the service of a go-nowhere plot that just drags on monotonously and repetitively. And the voice-over contains lines like this:
"When I have nothing else, I try to dream the dreams of a child's imaginings." (probably not an exact quote, but as close as I can remember)

The basic story is that some un-named catastrophe has killed all the plant and animal life on earth (except for a bunch of humans, for some reason)
The entire earth has gotten extremely cold, damp and cloudy. Cannibalism has become common. And this man and his young son are determined to stave off their inevitable doom long enough to get to the coast. They never explain why they are so hell-bent on getting to the coast, and when they do finally get there, and it's just as desolate and hopeless as everywhere else, they don't seem at all surprised or disappointed. And their pontless journey just goes on pointlessly until the father dies.

And I get that it's supposed to be about people trying to hold on to their last bit of humanity under completely inhuman conditions, or the power of mankind's survival instinct, or the strength of the father-son bond or what-the-fuck-ever, but honst-to-God, when you're trying to keep yourself from shouting at the screen "Just do it! Just shoot the kid then shoot yourself!" it's hard to really care about these sort of themes.

And early on in the movie, the father shows the son how to put the barrel of the gun into his mouth and pull the trigger "when the time comes," but somehow the time never ever comes. Even when the father is dying and leaving his Maybe-10-year-old son to fend for himself, he still doesn't put the poor kid out of his misery.




And this isn't even the most preposterous plot point. Earlier in the movie, the kid and his father find a waterfall cascading into a river. Even thought they are bundled up in parkas and wool hats and gloves, they decide to just strip off and go skinny-dipping, as if they were vacationing in the tropics.

Later, after finding an abandoned bomb shelter full of food, blankets, etc. the father decides that they have to leave because it isn't safe. Which wouldn't be strange except that we've already been shown that there is nowhere safe anywhere in the entire fucking world! So the choice is being in danger, but hidden away with food and shelter, or being in danger out in the open without food. And this goddamned genius picks the no food and shelter option?

And when they get to the coast, the father, who has been pretty understandably paranoid about letting the boy out of his sight, decides to leave the boy in a tent on the beach while he tries to swim out to an abandoned boat offshore to see if there is anything onboard that they can use. Oh, but he does give the kid the gun which at this point has exactly ONE BULLET left. So, yeah, he's probably pretty safe.

Anyway, I guess the short version of my first attempt at writing a movie review is this:
"The Road." Save your money.

Happy Hanks-Giving!

Name Those Hanks!