Who can say the stupidest thing about Donald Trump?

Ordinarily, when we have a "who's stupider?" post here at the Daily Irritant, we do it in a game-show style competition. But why bother? No one's going to out-stupid Palin!

First on CNN: Palin calls both McCain and Trump heroes

By Jake Tapper, CNN Anchor and Chief Washington Correspondent

Why, yes. Yes she is!

Washington (CNN)Asked about the dispute between Donald Trump and Sen. John McCain, R-Arizona

Wait, let me stop you right there. Who the fuck is asking Palin about anything? C'mon, CNN, you're you used to be better than that!

Asked about the dispute between Donald Trump and Sen. John McCain, R-Arizona -- the candidate at the top of the ticket when she was 2008 Republican vice presidential nominee -- former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin Monday afternoon called both men heroes.

See, this is why there are no other contestants tonight. We're at sentence one and she's already at hall-of-fame levels of stupid.

"I have the good fortune of knowing both John McCain and Donald Trump well," Palin told CNN in an email.

Yeah, and at least one of them despises you.



Probably both, if they both really do know you well.

  "Sen. McCain dedicated his life to serving our country, and in my humble opinion the sacrifices made by all ethical service members are heroic -- putting it all on the line to defend freedom IS heroic -- and Donald Trump is a hero in another arena." 

I see. And, um. . . how do you figure?

 John McCain put his life on the line to defend, well not "freedom" exactly, but I guess the non-Communist government of South Vietnam? In service to his country. And Trump risked what, exactly in the service of what noble cause?

 

 Trump is the candidate giving voice to untold millions of fed-up Americans witnessing a purposeful destruction of our economy and the equal opportunity for success that made America exceptional,"

Yes, nothing says "equal opportunity for success" like a man whose success is in large part due to having been born wealthy.

"We're watching career politicians throw away our kids' future through bankrupting public budgets and ripping open our porous borders which, obvious to all us non-politicians, puts us at great risk."

 Um, couple things. . .

 

First, why would we need to rip open borders if they're already so porous? And who do you think is doing the ripping? (Never mind, I'm sure it's "Obama." The answer is always "Obama.")
Also, bankrupting public budgets? That's you guys. Your pathological need to cut taxes again and again is what bankrupts public budgets.

See, for instance:

Kansas revenues will fall $1 billion short of 2015 and 2016 expenses

Read more here: http://www.kansascity.com/news/government-politics/article3729756.html#storylink=cpy

By BRAD COOPER
The Kansas City Star

TOPEKA--

Kansas will collect $1 billion less in revenue in 2015 and 2016 than its projected expenses following massive income tax cuts signed into law by Republican Gov. Sam Brownback.
The new revenue estimates released Monday revealed that Kansas would burn through about $380 million in reserves and still need to cut $280 million to balance its current budget for fiscal year 2015, which ends next June 30.

Read more here: http://www.kansascity.com/news/government-politics/article3729756.html#storylink=cpy

Seeming to take issue with some of the language used by McCain in the past to describe attendees at Trump rallies and some of the Senate tea party members, Palin added, "Everywhere I go, hard-working patriotic Americans -- not 'crazies' or 'wacko birds' -- ask me to pass on to Mr. Trump encouragement to keep educating the masses about true ramifications of illegal immigration, and in general the real state of our union."

Okay, that's just a lie. No one is asking you to pass along messages to Donald Trump. If they wanted to get a message to Trump, it's not that hard. Dude's always on Twitter. Usually making  Schoolyard taunts about someone's weight, but still. You can get a message to him whenever you like. I'm sure he's probably on Facebook and Snapchat and whatever social media rich people use that we aren't allowed to know about.


And even if someone didn't understand the interwebs or whatever, they aren't asking you to pass Trump a note in homeroom. 

The only two responses to meeting you in public are "Duh, hey Misstess Palin, kin I git yer autygraph?" or "Ew, ew, it's Palin! Ick, where's the Purell?"
 They certainly aren't saying "Say, Sarah, next time you talk to Mr. Trump, please pass along my words of encouragement to keep opening his fat yap and spewing out the kind of toxic nonsense that this country really needs."

So, anyway, to sum up:



 Hero.

     Assclown. 

              

 And that is why Sarah Palin is the winner of Who Can Say The Stupidest Thing About Donald Trump!

Florida Headline of the Day

Florida Blames Armadillos For Higher-Than-Usual Number Of Leprosy Cases

Dr. Richard Truman politely pretended to have no idea how this could be happening.

Though it is possible to get leprosy from armadillos, Dr. Richard Truman of the National Hansen’s Disease Program says the “specific mechanisms” for transmission are unknown. 
“Long term, close direct contact with the blood or tissue of infected animals would likely pose the greatest risk for exposure,” he told Medical Daily.

Yes, there's just no way of knowing how one could possibly catch a disease from an armadillo. Especially one that requires long-term, close, direct contact. It's a mystery.

“Some of our patients have reported hunting or cooking armadillos, but others report that they have never had any direct contact with armadillos,” he said.

 

Right. Just like I never had any direct contact with that woman, Miss Lewinsky!

Though the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention finds the risk of contracting leprosy from an armadillo to be low, the center still warns people to shun these animals.

And by "these animals," they mean people who catch diseases from armadillos. 

Boehner was so close!

He almost had it!



John Boehner actually had it for a second there. He actually seemed to understand that the record California drought is, at least in part, a result of man-made climate fuckuppery.

But then he decided that it was made by one man and that man is, of course, President Obama.

And he seems to be serious.

Speaker Boehner, or whoever ghost-posts on his Facebook page, put up this photo of what seems to be a perfectly reasonable sing from somewhere in the Golden State.



Other than the corny "Green to go Brown" line and maybe the fact that a 36% reduction in water usage is probably not enough, what objection could anyone have to this? Well, let's see:

    

Speaker John Boehner

If ever there was a phrase that perfectly encapsulates liberal environmentalists’ backwards priorities and regressive ideology of restriction and scarcity, it is the one now displayed on a government sign in Arcadia, California: “It’s ‘green’ to go brown.”

Um, okay. . . Not really sure how scarcity is a "liberal ideology." Water is scarce in California. That isn't liberal or conservative or anything but the fact of the matter. They are running out of water.And when one is short on something, I'm not sure how trying to conserve what little you have is "backwards priorities." I guess the forward-thinking approach would be "Hey, Mr. Speaker, we're running out of Scotch. Let's just pour this last bottle down the drain."

So, up 'til now, this post is merely stupid. But hold on to your hats & glasses, it's about to veer into crazy-town!

Visit http://j.mp/1M8kIay [delinked] to learn more about what Congress is doing to end President Obama’s man-made water shortage in the West and allow water resources to be managed in a way that actually makes sense.

Yes, obviously, President Obama has been preventing rain from falling West of the Sierra Nevadas. Obviously, the California water table is drying up because of oh, I don't know, let's say healthcare?

And I guess there's no snow-pack because um. . .  treaty with Iran?
How in the hell can a climatalogical phenomenon be laid at the feet of the President? I mean, sure, his support of gay marriage is obviously going to cause floods. earthquakes, tornadoes and Kardashians, but this drought has been going on since before he even came around on that issue.

So, nice try Mr. Speaker, but now that I think about it you really weren't even that close.

How is this garbage in my newspaper?

This was actually in my newspaper today. An actual newspaper spent money on ink and paper to publish this:

Obama: Witting or Witless?

Mona Charen | Jul 17, 2015

A question has hung in the air since Barack Obama first moved into 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue and began his "fundamental transformation" of this country: Did he intend harm, or was he merely so blinded by ideology that he could not see the damage his policies were creating? The Iran deal provides an answer.

Really? Has that question really hung in the air? Have any sane people actually been asking this question? Really?
First of all, Barack Obama is about the least ideological political figure in the country. (Not to his credit.)
Secondly, what "fundamental transformation" has he accomplished? How different is the country today than in 2008? Other than the economy having turned around and American soldiers not being killed on a regular basis. Tax rates haven't changed significantly, health care is still run by mulit-billion dollar for-profit private companies, and mouth-breathers still get to wave automatic weapons around in public. So what's the big transformation?

At his press conference, our duplicitous leader chose to call black white and claim that the deal does the opposite of what it does -- allow Iran to get nuclear weapons, albeit after a decent interval. We are deep into Orwellian territory now. "War is peace. Ignorance is strength." Iranian President Hassan Rouhani is crowing that Iran achieved all of its objectives and the U.S. none.

Right, we totally can't trust the Iranians, and let's take Rouhani at his word that he acheived all his objectives. I mean, why would he lie?

 But from his first inaugural address onward, Obama both secretly and openly wooed the Iranian regime. In the process, he repeatedly lied to Congress, our allies and the American people, settling, to my satisfaction at least, that he is inflicting this potential catastrophe wittingly.

Look, I get that this Charen character normally writes for "Town Hall" or some other sort of right-wing bathroom tissue, but how the hell are legitimate papers picking up this baseless slander against a sitting US President? 

A National Embarrasment

 


Texas Governor Greg Abbot is a national embarrassment. You'd have thought George W. would be the most embarrassing governor in Texas's history. Then Rick Perry came along. Now Abbott has managed to slither under even that low-set bar.

It wasn't bad enough that he bought into the Jade Helm conspiracy nonsense. Or, if he didn't actually believe it himself, he apparently felt obliged to pander to the lowest-IQ portion of the electorate and, frankly I don't know which is worse.

Anyway, if that wasn't crazy/stupid enough, now there's this:

Scientology Group Urged Veto of Mental Health Bill

• by Morgan Smith

After a Church of Scientology-backed group helped organize a campaign against it, Gov. Greg Abbott vetoed legislation that would have given Texas doctors more power to detain mentally ill and potentially dangerous patients, according to records obtained by The Texas Tribune.

Yep, now he's pandering to Scientologists of all people. Maybe he's the one person in America who didn't see or at least hear about "Going Clear?"

 

I mean, you do know these people are nuts, right? Well, the believers in Scientology are nuts, the ones running it may just be running the most hugely successful long-con since some Japanese chef convinced people that sushi is food.

But surely it can't just be because the Scientologists objected, right? There was peobably something in the bill that caused conservative Texans to rail against it. Maybe it involved an expenditure of tax monies? The bill must have been controversial, no?

The governor's early June veto of Senate Bill 359 caught many of the measure’s proponents off-guard. The legislation had sailed through the House and Senate with little debate and only a handful of negative votes — and during committee hearings in both chambers, a range of mental health advocates, medical groups and law enforcement officials showed up to testify in its favor.

So, Republicans, Democrats, doctors and police were all in favor of this bill? So who was against it, besides the insane cult that is Scientology?

In a letter hand-delivered to the governor’s office on May 20, the “SB 359 Veto Coalition” said the bill threatened the “delicate balance” between providing “access to humane care and treatment for persons suffering from mental illness and safeguarding the person’s legal right." It characterized the bill as granting “sweeping powers” to hospitals that could lead to fraudulent mental health detentions and threaten a patient’s right to refuse medical care.
Others lending their names to the letter included the Texas Home School Coalition, the League of United Latin American Citizens, the anti-vaccine group Parents Requesting Open Vaccine Education and Texans for Accountable Government, a libertarian organization currently campaigning to stop water fluoridation in Austin.

 So, a crazy cult, crazy home-schoolers, crazy anti-vaxxers and crazy Birchers? An entire coalition of unhinged imbeciles that are scared of science? That's the anti-this-bill constituency and Abbott actually went along with them? He sided with the dimwits, dullards, dolts and dunces over cops and doctors?
And, yes, also the League of United Latin American Citizens, who may or may not be crazy - I've never heard of them- and did actually have a legitimate concern about the law being used to incarcerate recent immigrants, but no one thinks for a second that a Latino group had any influence on Gov Abbott. Generally, he would have voted against them just to prove his anti-brown-people bona fides.

Mary Jensen, executive director of the San Antonio branch of the National Alliance on Mental Illness, who worked to shore up support for the bill throughout the legislative process, said she was “very surprised” by the veto.
“Right now, [doctors] cannot legally hold [patients], even though they know they are a danger to themselves, or they might go back to their house and harm their family members. There is nothing a doctor can do,” said Jensen.

So there's a decent chance that some Texans may be hurt or killed because of this. Because the governor of an actual state of the USA took mental health policy advice from people who think that psychiatry is a fraud because all mental problems are caused by the ghosts of dead martians that are attached to everybody.


So, congratulations, Texas. Three governors in a row that are national embarrassments. Each one worst than the last!