Monday, June 17, 2019

I can't think of a good title

I know. I've been away for a while. Work got a little crazy and I ended up putting in a lot of overtime last week and I just felt too exhausted to dick around on the internet looking for targets of mockery. But I do feel like I might have let down the people who look forward to reading my silly little jokes and whatnot, and I apologize to both of them.
Anyway, today Twitter handed me this on a silver platter:

How Trump Turned Liberal Comedians Conservative


Oh, you just KNOW this is going to be stupid. Just thuddingly, head-hurtingly stupid.









Once, wry satire ruled. Today it’s all outrage and punching up—and it’s not always clear where the joke is.


Okay, punching UP is good. That's what a comic SHOULD do. It's one of the reasons copnservative comics are never funny, they always pinch down. "Liberal" or "progressive" or "lefty" comedians have ALWAYS punched up. The good ones, anyway. This is not some new development in the age of Cheeto Mussolini.


President Donald Trump likes to think of himself as a statesman, an author, an A-level negotiator, but at heart, he’s one thing: an insult comic. Every day in D.C. is a roast, the insults and belittling nicknames wielded like tiny comedy bullets. 


Okay, that's true. To some extent. Only, his insults and nicknames aren't funny. There's no imagination or creativity to them. Calling people you don't like "Crazy Nancy" or "Crazy Bernie,"  "Lyin' Ted" or "Lyin' Hillary" takes no effort. There's no thought put into that. And they're not funny. When he does try to put some effort into it, he can't even get insulting nicknames right. Back before he fell in love with Kim Jong Un, he dubbed him "Rocket Man." Then someone must've pointed out to him that "Rocket Man" is actually a pretty cool nickname, so he started calling him "Little Rocket Man." Don Rickles he ain't.



The 45th president is undeniably funny—innately entertaining, whether he intends to be or not. 


No. No he isn't. He isn't funny. Even if he weren't the President, even if he didn't have access to the nuclear codes, even if he wasn't in a position where a serious person should have been, he wouldn't be funny. Because he's not clever. He's not smart. He doesn't understand humor, because he doesn't have normal human emotions. He's a sociopath. He presumably finds humor in other people getting hurt. But to actually craft amusing wordplay or wry observations is beyond him. He doesn't understand how normal people think and feel. He can't understand what would bring a normal person joy or laughter. He isn't funny and he will never be funny. It just isn't in him.

he drew chuckles at the United Nations last September, when he said his administration “has accomplished more than almost any administration in the history of our country,” but he got a big, fully appreciative laugh with his ad-libbed follow-up: “Didn’t expect that reaction, but that’s OK.”




Oh, sure. People laugh AT him. Because he's a buffoon. But it isn't because of any actual humor on his part. When he said "Didn't expect that reaction. . ." that wasn't a clever ad-lib. That wasn't a witty rejoinder. That was him being genuinely surprised by not getting the adulation he had expected. They laughed the first time because he said something stupid, then they laughed the second time because he said something else really stupid. That doesn't make him a comedian.

Anyway, how did Hair Furor turn "liberal" comedians conservative?


from 1999 through roughly the start of the Trump administration, the prevailing comedy tone was a kind of ironic detachment, perfected by Jon Stewart on “The Daily Show.” Odds are, even if you barely watched the show, you can still picture the Jon Stewart repertoire: the knowing pop culture references, the sharp satire, the wry take on America at large. His go-to move was perplexity at the absurdity of it all, and the message was detached and a little self-deprecating: If politics was absurd, well, so were we. “You have to remember one thing about the will of the people,” he once said. “It wasn’t that long ago that we were swept away by the Macarena.”


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Stewart did make fun of both parties, but his style was fundamentally liberal, says University of Delaware communications professor Dannagal Young: playful, subversive, at once cynical and weirdly optimistic. 

Okay, but he could get angry, too. I mean, even when he was coming across as glib and detached, there was a lot of righteous anger under the surface, but other times, he could get just straight-up angry.


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There’s no greater threat to the liberal establishment than Donald Trump. And in the past three years, something about comedy has shifted. In class, Young has her college students diagram late-night jokes and label the incongruities—the hidden arguments that aren’t actually stated in the text. When they come to the May 2018 moment when Samantha Bee, in a rant about immigration on her TBS show “Full Frontal,” called Ivanka Trump a “feckless c---,” the exercise breaks down. The line drew a laugh, but there was nothing to puzzle out. No irony, no distance. She just meant it.


Yeah, not every word out of Sam Bee's mouth is a joke. She talks about a lot of serious topics, as do all the political comedians. So sometimes, she's going to say things that aren't actually funny, they're just things that she feels need to be said.


“There was no incongruity in what she did,” says Young, whose upcoming book, Irony and Outrage, examines the psychological underpinnings of political entertainment. “I don’t care she’s used the c-word a bunch. I care that she, like, didn’t make a joke.”


Yes. She didn't make a joke. So I'm not sure how illustrative this line is of Trump's supposed effect on political comedy.

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Or maybe Bee had made a joke, but a joke for the era of Trump.

No, we've already established that she didn't. We've been over this. The expert that you cited says that she did NOT make a joke.



Like the red meat at Trump’s rallies, it was pitched to the base, satisfying in the way that calling someone a “libtard” feels for people on the right; less a wry observation than a hard push back against a persistent enemy or a looming threat. If Trump has changed the tone of the presidency, he’s done the same for TV humor, creating a kind of insult comedy for the Resistance: less subtle, less civil—and, strangely, more conservative.

No, the Daily Show crew has always been insulting to people who deserve it - your Santorums, your Gingriches, Your O'Reilly's, your Hannitys. . .

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Donald Trump did not invent making decent people angry. Donald Trump was not the first conservative to be so outrageously offensive that the only possible response is shouted vulgarities. They have always been with us.



Then along came Trump, who wasn’t part of the system at all, and thus didn’t fit into Stewart’s man-versus-the-machine framework. The day Trump descended a Trump Tower escalator to announce his candidacy, in June 2015, Stewart was ecstatic. He treated the real-estate-mogul-turned-reality-star not as a viable player, but a professional clown.

As did everyone. No one had such a low opinion of the American electorate as to think he had any chance of winning. Also, Trump is absolutely part of the "system." As he has stated publicly, he made a habit of bribing politicians on both sides of the aisle. And he had spent the last several years as the de facto head of the racist idiot "birther" movement. Plus, who could be more a part of the corrupt "system" that runs this country than a (alleged) billionaire real estate tycoon with his own television show and a standing invitation to call in to FOX and discuss politics whenever he wants?

At the start of his administration, many speculated that Trump would turn more measured and sober once he felt the gravitas of the office. But his insult-comic persona isn’t artifice; he can’t be shamed or cajoled into being anyone but himself.

That’s great for his base. Most conservatives, love him or not, have found ways to brush off his rhetoric as Trump being Trump. But liberals see the language as not just authentic, but dangerous—they draw a straight line from the speeches and tweets to the murderous white-supremacist violence in Charlottesville, the mass shooting at the Tree of Life synagogue, caged kids on the Mexican border, and nuclear retaliation threats directed toward Kim Jong Un.


Okay, it's not just "liberals" who draw the obvious line between Trump's rhetoric and incidents of racist violence. Anyone with functioning eyesight and the correct number of chromosomes can see the connection between Trump and the violent white supremacists whom he inspires. This is not a "liberal vs conservative" breakdown. This is a sane vs insane issue.
Also, whom else could you possibly blame for caged kids at the border? It's not as if Trump made some "joke" about caging kids and then coincidentally, a bunch of kids ended up in cages somehow. This is his doing. This is his policy. He makes no secret of this.
Also, too, you're a little behind on the Trump-Kim timeline. He no longer makes threats of retaliation towards Kim. Kim is his best friend now. Try to keep up.


So the chorus of left-leaning comedians who evaluate Trump every night has switched from detached amusement to sounding the warning bells.


How could they not?
These are very dangerous times.
I don't watch any of the late night talk shows anymore because who has the time, and because I'm sick of trying to pretend that Trevor Noah is an acceptable substitute for Jon Stewart. But, if it is as you say, if they are no longer being humorous about Trump but "sounding the warning bells," that is not a change in comedic style. That is abandoning comedy because the dangers of this administration are too pressing, too urgent to sit back and crack jokes about them. Also, sounding alarm bells over Trump's abuses hardly seems like a byproduct of becoming conservative. If your premise was that Trump has caused "liberal" comics to stop doing comedy and instead give serious warnings about him, you might be on to something. But your assertion was that these comics were "becoming conservative" and you haven't presented any evidence to support that thesis other than Sam Bee using the "C-word."




That change might be personified, these days, by “Daily Show” veteran Stephen Colbert, whose Comedy Central show, “The Colbert Report,” was a masterpiece of cynical-age satire: a sustained, high-energy, high-wire parody of Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly, in which the comedian played a blowhard conservative host named “Stephen Colbert.” 


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But these days, when he talks about Trump, Colbert isn’t so easygoing; his jokes are more vicious and often less surprising. In a mid-May “Late Show” monologue, Colbert described a recent Trumpian insult: comparing 2020 Democratic candidate Pete Buttigieg to the MAD Magazine mascot Alfred E. Neuman. “I see the similarity,” Colbert said, “in that they both are more qualified to be president than Donald Trump.”


Um, do you even know what the word "vicious" means? Because that was pretty dang mild.


Colbert has changed less than Bee, his fellow “Daily Show” alum. In 2015, Bee was part of the “Daily Show” sketch that mocked Joe Biden for groping. She played a star-struck, self-deluded reporter who had just come from a one-on-one interview with Biden, and now had brightly-colored hand marks on her chest and rear end. (She cheerfully explained that the then-vice president had just been touching chalk, strawberry preserves, motor oil and Cheetos.) The joke lay, again, in the disconnect: The audience knew Biden’s behavior was wrong, but the establishment, represented by Bee, pretended it was perfectly normal.


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Today, Bee’s faux innocence is gone; her “Full Frontal” persona understands everything that’s happening. Her fury is directed not just at Trump, but at everyone on the right; she apologized for the c-word episode, but her anger hasn’t faded.

So. . . if she's angry at the right, that makes her more conservative. Am I getting that right?
Only conservatives get angry?
Also, she was playing a character on the Daily Show. On Full Frontal, she's herself. Of course it's going to seem different.

 A recent segment on the Alabama’s stringent new abortion law, “Sex Ed for Senators,” explained that when a woman is designated six weeks pregnant, it actually measures the number of weeks from her last period, not from the moment of conception. “Bet you didn’t know uteruses were also time travelers,” Bee said. “That’s science, bitch!”



That's it? That's your best example of Sam Bee's unrelenting anger?
Okay, I haven't seen the bit because I don't get that channel anymore, so I googled it.




Honestly, I don't see what you're talking about. She is a whole lot less angry than I would be were someone legislating my rights away. I mean, I'm sure she's furious, but she doesn't come across that way. The bit is funny. It's informative. and the line "that's science, bitch!" is delivered playfully, maybe sarcastically would be a better word? but not angrily. There is nothing in that entire segment that anyone would describe as, how did you put it, "didactic?" Or "comedy, in the sense that it contains setups and punch lines. But it isn’t necessarily fun."


This was fun. I mean, as fun as one could be while discussing such a serious and depressing topic.
There is nothing "conservative" about her style. For future reference, here's how you can tell. Conservatives are NEVER funny. They punch down and their "jokes" are based on false premises (like Obama being born in Kenya, or Nancy Pelosi coming for your guns). What Sam Bee did here was punch upwards, at government officials with much more power than she, and she based the jokes on the things that they literally have said and done on video. That's why her stuff works.

Fun With Headlines

All Headlines via Yahoo News.


Celebrity

Prince Philip Told Prince Harry Not to Marry Meghan Markle for This Surprising Reason



He's a huge racist. Surprise!


World

Trump Cryptically Parrots Fox News Graphic Encouraging Iran Military Strike


"Cryptically" is a weird way to spell  "Has no thoughts of his own so repeats whatever he sees on television."





Politics

Trump Says He Doesn’t Know If North Korea Is Building Nuclear Weapons: ‘I Hope Not’




Yeah, that's not news. If Trump ever does know something, THAT would be news.




Try Not to Laugh at These Bridesmaids




Ahahahaha!!! Oh, I can't help it!  It's so funny how they're, um. . . beautiful ladies in gorgeous dresses.
Ha ha?
Ha?


Sports

LaVar Ball Vows Lakers Will Not Win Again After Trading His Son Lonzo



Yeaaaaah. . . as opposed to all the winning they've been doing WITH him.

.

Image result for espn logoLakers officially miss playoffs for 6th year in row




Trump is dead wrong about the stock market - it won't crash if he isn't re-elected



What a scoop!
When has he ever not been dead wrong about anything?


Celebrity

Kourtney Kardashian says Kylie Jenner acts entitled since becoming a billionaire


What? A Kardashian acting "entitled?"
Why can't she be more down-to-earth and relatable like the rest of that gaggle of talentless airheads who have been given wealth and fame without having ever accomplished anything?


Politics

Can't take 'information from a foreign agent. It's against the law': Chris Christie


Yes, apparently we HAVE reached a point in our history when that needed to be said.




Wednesday, June 5, 2019

I love a Parade!




Well, it looks like it's finally happening! After zero years of waiting and anticipation, we are finally getting the "Straight Pride" parade that literally tens of people have been asking for.



http://superhappyfunamerica.comIt looks like the Boston Straight Pride Parade will happen. We filed a discrimination complaint and it appears the City of Boston understands they would lose in litigation. The city is now working with us on the parade. We will have the streets closed and be allowed floats and vehicles. The tentative date is 8/31 but will be finalized in the next few weeks.


I for one can not wait!
C'mon, everyone, sing along with me:

Seventy-six air guitars led the big parade,
With a hundred and ten cargo shorts close at hand.
They were followed by rows and rows
Of the mediocre dude-bros,
Insisting that they'd all been shadow-banned!



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Oh, I can picture it now. . . .


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Welcome, everyone to the first annual "Straight Pride" parade! A celebration of hetero culture and all aspects of heterosexuality. Let's hear it for our Grand Marshall, the man who personifies straightness, Marcus Bachmann!

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Oh, and here comes the first float, it's a tribute to pregnancy scares. Just listen to that techno beat withe the repeating sample "Oh shit! I'm late! Oh shit! I'm Late! Oh GodOhGodOhGodOhGod I'm late!" 


Up next, it's the synchronized dad dancers.


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Always a crowd favorite.

And here come the mis-matched couples! These are beautiful women who work out daily and have flawless hair and makeup proudly marching arm in arm with their fat slovenly husbands who put in zero effort.

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Up next, it's the pickup tricks with "Punisher" decals squadron. What does the Punisher  decal mean? We don't know, and frankly, we're scared to ask!


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The next float is sponsored by Axe Body Spray! They're tossing sample bottles out into the crowd, and the fellas are fighting over them. For some reason, the women all seem to have disappeared. Weird, that.


Next is a squadron of guys who do cross-fit, pushing giant tires down the street as if weights had not been invented.



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And here are the guys who have seen Die Hard more than ten times, all explaining about how differently things would have gone at any mass shooting had they been there with their AR-15s. Did anyone ask them? No. Does anyone believe them? No. Are they gonna stop? Oh Hell, no! Not today. buddy. Not on Straight Pride Day!


Okay, we've been having a little fun at their expense, but the organizers of the Straight Pride Parade, a group called "Super Happy Fun America" do have a serious point. From their website:


“Straight people are an oppressed majority. We will fight for the right of straights everywhere to express pride in themselves without fear of judgement and hate. The day will come when straights will finally be included as equals among all of the other orientations.” – John Hugo, President of Super Happy Fun America





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Just kidding. They're a bunch of imbecilles!


Monday, June 3, 2019

Let's Save Europe!




The family that could save Europe


Weirdly, I was unaware that Europe was in need of saving.

I can't imagine from whom or from what the continent of Europe would need saving. But whatever it is that is threatening these nations, I can think of only one family who can be called upon to save them. . .


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No?

Then who?

A little over a hundred years ago, Emperor Karl of Austria, his wife Zita and their small children were forced to leave their last refuge in Austria for Swiss exile. Two abortive attempts to regain the Austrian throne led to their exile and his death in Madeira.



No.
You don't mean. . .
You can't possibly mean. . .

Habsburg Jaw Of Charles II


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ARCHDUCHESS MARIA ELIZABETH OF HABSBURG LIESL by the lost gallery, via Flickr



. . . The Habsburgs????


Well, certainly an argument can be made that uropeans might benefit from the re-elevation of this brood of incestuous hemophiliacs onto the thrones of dictatorial power, but is it really practical?


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Over the following decades the imperial exiles made the best of things, with the heir, Archduke Otto, trying first to catalyse resistance to Hitler on Austria’s part, and then with more success to ensure that the victorious Allies would treat Austria as a victim rather than a perpetrator.


Which, as anyone who has read a bit of history and didn't think the Sound of Music was a documentary knows, was bullshit. Austria welcomed the Nazis with open arms. After they realized they'd backed the wrong horse, they began the effort to brand Austria as the "First Victim of World War II,"
So, if being a shameless opportunistic liar is one of the qualifications for leadership, then. . .

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Oh. Right. Never mind.

Austria was fortunate: after 1955 and the Soviet withdrawal, she was spared the horrors that the rest of the Old Monarchy had imposed upon them by the Soviets. Gratitude to the Habsburgs for the role they played in this happy event was and is nil. 

And that role was. . .?
What did they do to get the Soviets to treat them less harshly? Surely you can name one example?


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Okay, then. Let's plow ahead.


The family properties confiscated by the socialists in 1919 were returned to them in 1935 – and duly re-seized by the German occupiers in 1938. They remain particularly profitable pieces of Nazi loot which no Austrian government thus far seems willing to return to its rightful owners.


Oh, right. Because clearly these self-entitled inbreds earned every bit of those properties! How dare the Austrian government not use taxpayer Euros to fight a legal battle on behalf of the goddamm Habsburg dynasty?

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Nevertheless, 800 years of Habsburg rule left a strong imprint on Austria – not just in the still very Catholic and conservative countryside, but also in “red Vienna”. Double eagles, signaling a firm’s former status as a purveyor to the imperial court, are everywhere in the capital. Monuments aside, the round of balls, concerts and other such activities seems unchanged from Habsburg times – to say nothing of such things as the Vienna Boys’ Choir and the Lipizzaners of the Spanish Riding School.



Yeaaah, um. . . so what? Had some family ruled a country for 800 years and NOT left an indelible imprint on its history and culture, one would be shocked. I would venture to guess that Egyptian culture still shows the influence of centuries of Pharaohonic rule. (is too a word!) You can still see remnants of the Julii all over Italy. So I don't know how relevant it is that the Habsburgs imprint can still be seen in Vienna. And if the most impressive cultural artifacts a re a boys' choir and some fancy horse-riding, I gotta say that was a waste of 800 years.


Pleasant, more or less, as Austria’s existence after 1955 was, the former imperial lands east of the Iron Curtain did not fare nearly so well – the difficulties of their being hacked apart in 1919 having been exacerbated by war and communism.

Wait, so things were better in Austria than in countries living under the iron fist of Stalinism? Well, why didn't you say so? RESTORE THE MONARCHY!!!



Sociological studies have found that in Poland, Ukraine, Romania and Serbia –­ those areas that were once part of Austria-Hungary – have a much higher rate of trust in police and courts and less corruption than those that were not. The test-runners have dubbed this “the Habsburg effect”.


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**Sighhhh. . .**
None of those countries are ruled by Habsburgs. Those are Democratic countries. You could just as easily dub this phenomenon the "Soviet effect," and it would actually be more plausible since there are still many people in those countries who grew up under Soviet rule. Their national characters were shaped much more recently by life behind the iron curtain than by their centuries of autocratic monarchical rule.



Archduke Otto. . . was foremost in calling for the rapid integration into the European Union of Hungary, Slovakia, the Czech Republic, Slovenia, Croatia and the once partly Habsburg Poland.
But in the aftermath of their liberation and incorporation into the EU, a strange phenomenon emerged: they found they had more in common with each other (and in recent years with Sebastian Kurz’s Austria) than with the Western nations. Not only did they share scepticism toward Western Europe’s embrace of abortion and sexual licence, their national cultures – despite the nationalisms that tore them apart – have much in common.




And clearly this phenomenon can have only one cause: the fact that all these countries were once part of the Austro-Hungarian Empire! No way could it have anything to do with their shared Eastern Orthodox religion, or the fact that they are all Slavic countries. No, it has to be the Habsburgs, which means that a Habsburg must once again be pl;aced on the throne to rule all of Europe!


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I haven't seen the show, but I'm pretty sure that's what it was about, right?  That and boobies?


The growth of the common cultus of Emperor Karl since his beatification in 2004 has also played its part. There are – not too surprisingly – 26 shrines to him in Austria. But there are eight in the Czech Republic, 16 in Hungary, three in Slovakia and two in Croatia. The Blessed said repeatedly during his last year of life that he was suffering so that his peoples might come back together. It is quite possible that shared devotion to him might well be contributing to that.


Did he say that? He said that repeatedly? You know, I know someone who has repeatedly said that he is suffering to make his country great again, but I sure as fuck wouldn't canonize him!



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Except like this.



And what of the House of Habsburg itself in all of this? Otto’s elder son, Karl, ably assisted by younger, Hungary-based brother Georg, is certainly keeping the flag flying through the Paneuropa Union


Okay, I don't know what that is, but it sounds uncomfortably similar to Identity Evropa to me.
I looked it up on Wikipedia, and apparently "It is independent of all political parties, but has a set of four basic principles by which it appraises politicians, parties, and institutions: liberal conservatismChristianitysocial responsibility, and pro-Europeanism."
All of which sound pretty frightening. Especially soince "liberal conservatism" seems to refer to the idea that governments should not interfere with the workings of the market, but should interfere in people's private morality.

Their sisters are also plugging away at similar tasks. Cousin Michael, of the Hungarian branch of the family, is head of the group working for the beatification of Cardinal Mindszenty, while his son, Eduard, is Hungary’s envoy to the Holy See. 


So, A: not a one of them is doing anything remotely productive or useful, and B: the author is happy to tell you all about the male members of the family and their activities, but as for the girls. . . suffice it to say that they are "plugging away" at some undefined "tasks." So I think I'm starting to see why the author is so nostalgic for a pre-Twentieth-Century way of organizing societies.


 It is now a large clan, scattered across the globe, but by and large an extremely hard-working one.


Working very hard at pointless vanity projects which benefit no one. Sorry, we already have a family like that.

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Two, actually:


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The website of the Austrian branch of Paneuropa declares: “The soul of this continent is Christianity. Whoever takes it out of political action, makes Europe a soulless body.” The Europe they would like to see is one that even the hardest of Brexiteers might well like.


Oh, so they appeal to hard-line racists with fascist leanings? Oh, why didn't you say so? And theocrats too! Oh, they just sound splendid! How has no one yet thought to restore them to their former imperial position? Of course these fine people should rule over an entire continent as twee, fastidious autocrats.

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But if such a vision is ever to come about, reunion of the Danubian countries would create an entity capable of challenging the secularist elements in Brussels and accomplishing it. As in the past nine centuries, the ties binding this region are not national, but religious, cultural and dynastic. It is fitting that the modern bearers of the name are working steadily in these fields. Anyone hoping for the best for Europe can only wish them success


Yes, One can only wish for all of Eastern Central Europe to join together to form a religious, cultural and dynastic behemoth capable of challenging secularism and, what, re-launching the Crusades? Driving the Moors and Jews out of the Holy Roman Empire? This all sounds like it came from Sebastian Gorka's dream journal.



In any case, considering how many tourists flock to see the mere relics of Habsburg rule in Central Europe’s capitals today, one can only guess at the flood that would pour in to see the revived rituals of an imperial and royal court in such varied settings. They would surely give the horde of royal-watchers in London and Windsora run for their money.

Oh, well, if it's going to be a tourist attraction, then sure! Who needs Democracy and freedom anyway? If it's going to bring in a bunch of American rubes trying to see if they can get the palace guards to crack a smile, then how could you NOT want to go back to a monarchy?

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Thursday, May 30, 2019

Oh, the things you see on Twitter!




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Thing # 1:






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Sighhhh. . .this again? We're still doing this? It's not even interesting anymore, it's just sad. Unless. . . .let me just go ahead and click on the link to the story and see. . . .

Among the speakers were Angel Colon and Luis Ruiz, two survivors of the Pulse nightclub massacre who now run a ministry together called Fearless Identity. Ruiz said although he might face temptations every day, “I choose Jesus, because he’s the only man in my life. He’s the only man that didn’t sleep with my best friend 


And there it is!

Luis, dude. You know I'm not one to judge, but your best friend? Your best friend is a whoooooore! Your best friend has slept with every man except Jesus Christ? I'm all for sowing one's wild oats, but that's just nasty!


Ruiz described himself as a combat veteran who served 15 years in the Army, adding, “Today I go to war with a whole bunch of you guys” to call the nation back to Jesus. “This is a new day, baby, and we’re coming in love. We’re coming in relationship. We’re coming with Jesus.


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 In her opening remarks, Woning told the audience on the grounds of the Washington monument and online that Jesus is “meeting us in the bars. He’s meeting us in the backrooms. He’s meeting us in our bedrooms at night when we are dreaming.”

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Seriously, these people just want to do sex with Jesus and that is just WRONG!



Thing # 2:




Nooo! You don't say! Are uou trying to tell me that the children of affluent parents are more likely to attend and graduate from college? Can this be?





Thing # 3:





Yeah, that's not a thing.
There are no children who survive abortions. Even assuming that by the word "child" you mean anything from a fertilized egg to an adolescent, how would you survive an abortion? Can you give a single example of any entity that has survived an abortion? Haha, of course you can't. Don;t worry about it.


Thing # 4:



Ummmmm, you do know you shouldn't leave your kids alone in a hot car, right? I mean, you shouldn't leave your kids alone in any car, and you shouldn't live any living being in a hot car, and the fact that you think that this irresponsible behavior should make you immune to criticism AND qualify you to have favors done for you by strangers is kind of mind-boggling, but you do you, I guess.


Thing # 5:

Georgia can be a scary place.



I mean, he's threatening to kill people, right? This is why we don't go "outside the Perimeter" unless we're going directly to a state park.

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Thing # 6:

And people wonder why I don't care for Nancy Pelosi?




You know, the time spent kissing ass at AIPAC is time that you could be spending on impeaching the son of a bitch!



Thing # 7:

This thread by some jerk who thinks he's smart: