Miley Cyrus

Ok, Miley. Now, God knows I'm no Prude, but 15-year-old sideboob, that's just, well, awful.
How about this: You put 'em away until you're 18, and we'll all just take your word for it that you have boobies. In fact, I will be the first to publicly acknowledge that you are an all-grown-up big girl now. So now, you go back to the sweet innocent act, and we'll go back to pretending that you're not gettin' busy with a daddy-approved 20-year-old.

(Insert your own achy-breaky hymen joke here)

Billy Ray gives this ole boy the Achy-Breaky Mullet of Approval!

Or, you could just follow your father's career path and plunge into well-deserved obscurity.

Abstinence-Only

So, How's the abstinence-only thing working out?













OH.

Donald Trump

Ok, so Trump's casinos have just filed for bankruptcy for the THIRD TIME. Now can we all stop pretending that this putz is some kind of business genius? This guy could not be more irritating. First of all, this is a guy who could afford John Edwards' barber, and his hair looks like this?




Oh, and John Edwards, really? A $400 haircut? Those of us with any sense know that caring about poor people and pampering yourself are not mutually exclusive, but come on! You were running for president. As a Democrat. If you do anything that has the slightest whiff of hipocrisy about it, you will be attacked by the right and abandoned by the left. That's how it works. How do you not know this?

Anyway, back to Trump. Please stop putting this guy on TV, it just inflates his already ridiculous ego. He thinks he coined the phrase "you're fired!"
Oh, and hoojie-mamas, stop sleeping with this schmuck.