Speaking of Susan G. Komen and the Fundies. . .

. . . As we were a few days ago, When I first heard about the Komen/Planned Parenthood thing I just assumed that right-wingers had bullied Komen into withdrawing their funding of Planned Parenthood. Turns out, the right-wing fundies actually came from within the Komen Organization.

When Karen Handel's name first came up in regards to this story, I thought her name sounded familiar. I thought maybe she was the one who wrote "The Messiah." But now I know who she is. She ran for Governor of Georgia a couple years back. And the REPUBLICAN PARTY of GEORGIA decided she was too wingnutty to win the nomination. And she holds a prominent position in the Susan G. Komen For the Cure Department. Then I find out that they also employ Ari Fleischer? Seriously? Who would hire that schmuck? So basically the Susan G. Komen for the Cure Varsity Walking Team is just another corrupt rightie-infested organization that does not deserve anyone's donation dollars whether they reverse course on Planned Parenthood or not.

Also, in writing about the Komen debacle, I find myself using the word "Fundies" a lot.  I know it's common internet shorthand for "Fundamentalists" but every time I hear it, I can't help but think of this:

 

And I giggle like a schoolboy!

Also, I hear Komen likes to sue other charitable groups who dare to use the phrase "For the Cure," so I'm going to try to use that phrase as much as possible.

What Bible is this guy reading?

McGill: Consequences to raising teacher pay

State Sen. Shadrack McGill defended a pay raise his predecessors in the Legislature passed, but said doubling teacher pay could lead to less-qualified educators.

 "It's a Biblical principle. If you double a teacher's pay scale, you'll attract people who aren't called to teach."

 I'm sorry, how is that a Biblical principle?

  

By the way, there is now officially a LEGO version of EVERYTHING!

Teachers need to make the money that they need to make. There needs to be a balance there. If you double what you're paying education, you know what's going to happen? I've heard the comment many times, ‘Well, the quality of education's going to go up.' That's never proven to happen, guys.

Um, in fairness, has anyone ever tried doubling teachers' pay? 

 

Other than hers?

Saying that doubling teachers' pay has not been proven to improve performance is like saying that teaching cats to drive has never been proven to cause traffic fatalities.

 

For those of you under 40, Google "Toonces"

"To go in and raise someone's child for eight hours a day, or many people's children for eight hours a day, requires a calling. It better be a calling in your life. I know I wouldn't want to do it, OK?

  

Yeah, it's mutual!

"And these teachers that are called to teach, regardless of the pay scale, they would teach. It's just in them to do. It's the ability that God give 'em. And there are also some teachers, it wouldn't matter how much you would pay them, they would still perform to the same capacity.

So, the "Biblical Principle" is that many teachers are so dedicated to teaching that they will continue to teach no matter how shitty the pay? That's a Biblical principle?

 

Last year, McGill introduced a bill that would tie legislators' pay to the average teacher's pay, including benefits. He later claimed teachers in Alabama rank fourth in the nation in average pay and benefits of about $65,000.

Um, which Alabama are you referring to? The one in America? Because that state ranks about 42nd in average teacher salary, (source) so unless the benefits are out of this world, I gotta think you're full of shit.

 

Okay, those benefits are pretty impressive!

Okay, so to sum up, teachers shouldn't get decent pay because teaching is a noble calling. What about other types of public service, like, say, serving in the state government?

McGill, R-Woodville, said a 62 percent pay raise in 2007 - passed first by a controversial voice vote and later in an override of a veto by then-Gov. Bob Riley - better rewards lawmakers and makes them less susceptible to being swayed by lobbyists. McGill said that by paying legislators more, they're less susceptible to taking bribes.

Ohhhhh, yeah. That makes total sense. A 62% raise for you and your buddies is just a sensible bulwark against corruption. A raise for lawmakers makes them perform better. A raise for teachers makes them worse. Got it?

"That played into the corruption, guys, big time," he said. "You had your higher-ranking legislators that were connected with the lobbyists making up in the millions of dollars. They weren't worried about that $30,000 paid salary they were getting," McGill said, adding that lawmakers have to pay for their expenses out of pocket

Out of pocket? Gee, what must that be like?

So, remember everyone, God wants teachers to get low pay, but He wants State Senators to get big raises. At least in Alabama!

Read your Bible, people. It's all in there!

Crazy Candidate of the Day

Florida's Mark Oxner.

Submitted without comment except to say that Alan Grayson apparently has a pretty good chance of returning to Congress, if this is any indication:

Bad Headline

Ellen sparks controversy for J.C. Penney

No. No, that is incorrect. Ellen does not spark controversy. Ellen hasn't done anything wrong. It is the "Million Homophobic Moms" who are sparking the controversy, if controversy is, in fact, being sparked, by being hateful little bigots. Ellen is just doing her job, minding her own business. Why blame her for "sparking controversy?"

After J.C. Penney announced Ellen DeGeneres as the department store's new spokesperson last week, a conservative  online organization launched a campaign to have her fired. Why? Because she's openly gay. 

The One Million Moms organization, an extension of the American Family Association, called on members to urge the company to rethink their decision. "Funny that J.C. Penney thinks hiring an open homosexual spokesperson will help their business when most of their customers are traditional families," reads the call to action on the group's website. "The majority of J.C. Penney shoppers will be offended and choose to no longer shop there."  

Um, couple of things. One, most "traditional families" don't have a problem with Ellen DeGeneres, realizing as they do that whomever Ellen finds attractive affects them and their families not at all, and Two: is there anyone shopping at J.C. Penney? Is it possible for people to choose to no longer shop at a store where they already do not shop?

Here's a little snippet from the "Million Judgmental Shrews" call to action:

As consumers, what we find tragic is a corporate office and customer service department that not only transfers customers to voicemail, but even hangs up on them rather than verses hearing their concerns.

So, obviously the Million Small-minded Bigoted Moms have a different definition of the word "tragic" than you or I or any normal person. Also, a different definition of the word "verses" which most of us understand to be the plural of "verse," as opposed to the word "Versus" which, I suppose, is the word they meant to use. Also, you really need only use the word "versus" or the phrase "rather than," not both.

It is absurd to think that a company would find treating customers in this fashion an acceptable behavior. Our members stated their concerns in a kind, professional manner.

Oh, really?  How does one kindly and professionally relate the sentiment "we don't like her kind 'round here?" What does the kind professional version of anti-gay bigotry sound like?

Degeneres is not a true representation of the type of families who shop at the retailer.

True, she has a sense of style and can afford high-quality clothing.

Unless JC Penney decides to be neutral in the culture war and listen to customers in a considerate fashion, their brand transformation will be unsuccessful.

JC Penney IS being neutral in the "culture war." This is what being neutral looks like. They made a business decision to hire a popular TV personality to represent them in their ads. They did not make this business decision based on any sort of "Culture war." If they cave in to your pressure, they would no longer be neutral, they would be siding with you.  I don't think you understand the concept of neutrality. Honestly, the only people fighting this "war" is you geniuses. And you're losing.

Stop the Presses!

This breaking news just in:

Punxsutawney Phil Isn't Always Right

By Alyssa Newcomb | ABC News Blogs – 11 hours ago

Wow, way to go, ABC! Way to nail down that scoop! The behavior of a random rodent is not really all that predictive of the future? Well blow me down!

An analysis by the National Climatic Data Center found there is no correlation between Phil's predictions and the actual weather.

The National Climatic Data Center? Please tell me that isn't a government agency. . . ah, crap! They have a .gov web address! Seems like the National Climatic Data Center ought to have bigger fish to fry than determining whether some ridiculous bit of nonsensical folklore involving a rodent might somehow have some shred of veracity in it. (hint: no, it does not)

The well-fed, revered groundhog also has a penchant for seeing his shadow. Ever since the tradition began in 1887, Phil (and his ancestors) saw their shadows 99 times, while predicting an early spring only 16 times. There was no record for nine of the years.

Of course he always sees his shadow! He's not blind. Assuming that it is actually possible to somehow determine what the little guy is actually seeing or not seeing,  wouldn't you just assume that he would see his shadow? And the 16 times he supposedly didn't see it, wouldn't that just be an indication that it's time to break in a new groundhog, because this one's losing his eyesight?

But thank God we have a free press in this country so we can read hard-hitting investigative stories like this. ABC News, give this lady a raise!