Lindsey Graham's Expected Primary Challenge Comes From an Unexpected Place

Well, despite his best efforts to seem all butch and tough and wingnutty as possible, Lindsey Graham knew it was inevitable that he was going to get primaried by someone more extreme/crazier. He was expecting that. He probably wasn't expecting this:

Bruce Carroll Resigns From Gay Republican Group GOProud To Explore Lindsey Graham Challenge

The Huffington Post  |  By Nick Wing Posted: 03/11/2013 1:08 pm EDT

 

Yes, Bruce Carroll, one of the leaders of the ironically-named "GOProud," the group that split off from the Log Cabin Republicans because they just weren't self-loathing enough, is going to challenge Lindsey Graham for the job of Senator. From South Carolina. Because where else would the first openly-gay Senator come from than South Carolina?

No, I said "openly"

(how much does Graham have to hate himself to do this photo-op?)

He made his announcement on a website called "The Gay Patriot" or "Gaytriot" for short.






Here, in my opinion, is the highlight:

In the spirit of transparency and honesty, I informed my fellow GOProud board members that I could not dedicate the time to the organization while I seriously considered the effort it will take to challenge Senator Graham in the 2014 Primary.

Because you can't expect the man to hold down a full-time job AND consider something at the same time! Not if you want him to "seriously consider" it. Hmm, I wonder if he'll still be drawing a salary while he considers how best to rake in those sweet, sweet, untraceable campaign contributions?

Oh, and this was good, too:

I felt it best to resign from GOProud in advance of the CPAC conference this week so that my position in GOProud would not be a distraction from my serious deliberations regarding my potential future plans in South Carolina public service.

Because GOProud has very conspicuously NOT been invited to CPAC? Because if there's one thing the Republican base hates more than Lindsey Graham's occasional flirtations with sanity, it's gay people? So maybe if you resign from GOProud, they might not notice that you're actually a gay person yourself and might consider voting for you? The CPAC base doesn't even want you in the building. lest your gay cooties infect their perfectly hetero wieners.

According to NBC:

GOProud, a Republican gay-rights group, is still not officially invited to attend CPAC, next week's conservative conference in the D.C. area -- but it will be on site.

Jimmy LaSalvia, GOProud's co-founder and executive director, will be participating in a panel happening at the same time as CPAC, in the same building as CPAC. . . LaSalvia is excited to participate, and says his understanding is that CPAC is unhappy with the additions.

They hate you, Bruce. Almost as much as you apparently hate yourself. There aren't enough self-loathing closet queens in the state of South Carolina who feel strongly enough about fiscal conservatism or whatever to risk being seen as someone who might consider voting for you. You have no chance. But please, don't let reality dissuade you from running. I need the material.

Good Job, Women!

In honor of International Womens' Day:

By All Means, Let's Investigate!

Death of lion lover spurs state, federal scrutiny

DUNLAP, Calif. (AP) — A 24-year-old intern who was described by her father as a "fearless" lover of big cats ventured into a lion enclosure at a privately owned zoo and was mauled to death, prompting investigations by several government agencies that want to know how the accident happened.

Yes, let's launch an investigation into how it was that someone who "ventured into a lion enclosure" ended up getting mauled by lions.



Yep, that's a real head-scratcher!
Also, it doesn't really sound like an "accident." I don't think the young lady "accidentally" wandered into the lion pen, and I doubt that the lion "accidentally" mauled her.

 

Oops!

 

Dianna Hanson, whose Facebook page is plastered with photos of her petting tigers and other big cats, was frustrated that the exotic cat zoo in California where she had worked since January did not allow direct contact with animals, her father told The Associated Press.

"She was disappointed because she said they wouldn't let her into the cages with the lion and tiger there,"

Dang it, why won't they let me go into the lion cage. . . oh, now I get it!


Whether Hanson ignored orders or was performing a function that placed her in danger is being investigated by Cal-OSHA, which also is trying to determine if employees were properly instructed about potential danger, as required.
"There should have been procedures that very clearly stated what the employees were required to do in order to not get killed," said agency spokesman Peter Melton

 

I know, I know! Stay out of the fucking lion enclosure?

 

 

Look, I'm actually a big fan of OSHA. I think workplace safety requirements are absolutely necessary and proper, but come on! All you really should need is a sign reading "here there be lions," and anyone who's not a lunatic will know to stay out. I think we can let this one go and just chalk it up to thinning the herd. Literally.

 

 







Lindsey Graham will protect your imaginary family from imaginary mobs

"Can you imagine a circumstance where an AR-15 would be a better defense tool than, say, a double-barrel shotgun?" Graham asked. "Let me give you an example, that you have an lawless environment, where you have an natural disaster or some catastrophic event -- and those things unfortunately do happen, and law and order breaks down because the police can't travel, there's no communication. And there are armed gangs roaming around neighborhoods. Can you imagine a situation where your home happens to be in the crosshairs of this group that a better self-defense weapon may be a semiautomatic AR-15 vs. a double-barrel shotgun?"

Yes, It was called "The Road Warrior."

 

Also, this could happen. Probably.

 

 



[Eric] Holder pointed out that the senator was "dealing with a hypothetical in a world that doesn't exist."

"I'm afraid that world does exist," Graham insisted. "It existed in New Orleans, to some extent up in Long Island [after Hurricane Sandy], it could exist tomorrow if there's a cyber attack against country and the power grid goes down and the dams are released and chemical plants are -- discharges

."

 

 

Is it relevant that there were not, in fact, marauding gangs roaming the neighborhoods in either of those situations?

 

  

Too busy finding bread and soda to maraud.

 



There were people with assault weapons, but they weren't defending themselves from marauding gangs, they were just shootin up black guys.  http://www.thenation.com/article/katrinas-hidden-race-war 

I don't know that I would really look at that as a positive, though.

 

 

 

"What I'm saying is if my family was in the crosshairs of gangs that were roaming around neighborhoods in New Orleans or or any other location, the deterrent effect of an AR-15 to protect my family, I think, is greater than a double-barrel shotgun."

 





 You know what, Senator, how about if we all just agree that you're super butch and masculine and totally not at all gay and you just cool it with the ridiculous macho gun crap, hmm?

 

 

Pyew! Pyew!

 



Don't Fuck With Mrs Patmore!