A question for Canadians

Let me go on record, first, as saying that I love Canada. My wife's family hails from Canada (Montreal and the Sault) and although I've only been there a couple of times I love everything about your wonderful country. That being said, is this considered normal up there?

 

We've started watching a really good Canadian cop show called Durham County (Netflix, check it out). On this show, the cop's younger daughter often sports this weird anime-looking mask. At first we assumed that she was just a weird kid, but then they show her talking to another little girl in a similar mask. And then she has a birthday party and a bunch of little girls are wearing these nightmare-inducing masks. So I have to ask. Is this a thing in Canada? Is this something that is popular with the kids up there? Because if it is, I'm afraid to ever go back there.

Who names mailboxes?

The companies who manufacture and sell mailboxes employ people whose job it is to come up with names for the various models. Apparently, those people are insane. Look at the names they come up with:

Solar Group Inc E11B Black Elite Premium Steel Mailbox

$19.99 from 25+ stores

That's right, the "Elite!" Let all your neighbors know that you are a member of that elite strata of society that can afford a TWENTY-DOLLAR mailbox! Just like Lord Grantham probably has. I mean, a tin box in which to receive your mailings? clearly only a member of the landed gentry could own such a prize.

  Oh, wait. I stand corrected

 .

Rubbermaid Gentry All-in-One Plastic Mailbox and Post

 Clearly, the gentry would have their mail delivered into a Rubbermaid all in one model.

But what if you're not some snotty elitist gentry guy? What if you're just a good ol' fashioned red-blooded "Murican?

The Rubbermaid Patriot Standard Size Plastic Post Mount Mailbox


 How? How exactly is this mailbox a "patriot?" I'm fairly sure that inanimate objects, such as a mailbox, are incapable of feeling any such emotion as patriotism. Lacking the ability to feel feelings, there is no way that a mailbox feels any sort of attachment to its home country, and if it did, it would probably feel that love for China. So what makes this "patriotic?" It's not like it's red white and blue. It doesn't have a picture of Uncle Sam making love to a bald eagle. It's just a plain grey mailbox. Could it be that maybe the marketing folks just sat around and thought "what words do people react positively to? Oh, I know, national chauvinism! No, wait, even better. . . Patriotism!"

Of course, you might not be all that patriotic. Maybe you're some sort of Anglophile or some other sort of traitor. Well, they have a box for you, too!


Solar Group WMH00B04 Windsor Mailbox

Oooh, I say!  Pass the tea and crumpets. Why, blimey we must be at Windsor Palace, harrumph!

Surely this is exactly the sort of accessory one might expect to see by the front door at Windsor.

If you look closely, you can see the mailbox!

 



But, hey, if you're going to spend your hard-earned dough on a mailbox, you might as well splurge and go with the "Deluxe" model!


Solar ST200000 Deluxe  Rural Mailbox



What makes it "rural?" Hell if I know. But just check out these deluxe features:

Features: -Mailbox.-Material: Galvanized steel.-Plastic latch and flag.-Durable ribbed body for extra strength.-Holds mail for days as well as small parcels.-Assembly required

Whoah, did you catch all that? A plastic latch AND a flag? On one mailbox? And you're saying that it "holds mail?" and assembly is required? Now that's what I call deluxe! How much would something like that set you back, anyway?

$31.47

Home Depot

+$2.52 tax and $7.74 shipping

Well, I never thought that kind of luxury would come cheap, but I'm sorry, too rich for my blood. My last name ain't Rockefeller, you know!
a

Dumbest lady ever is in Texas (duh!)

This is quite possibly the dumbest lady ever:



I tried, in the interest of fairness, to find a picture of her where she didn't look like a mental defective, but I struck out.
Anyway, her name is Cari Christman, and she is the spokeslady for some sort of Republican women's PAC or something like that and she was getting interviewed on some Texas tv station or whatever and this is what she said about equal pay for the womens:

“We believe that Texas women want and deserve equal pay,” Christman admitted. “But honestly, Jason, we don’t believe the Lilly Ledbetter Act is what’s going to solve that problem for women. We believe that women want real-world solutions to this problem, not more rhetoric.”

  

"Rhetoric." You don't actually know what the word "rhetoric" means, do you? Because how is the Lily Ledbetter Act rhetoric? It's kind of the opposite of rhetoric. It's a substantive action. 

Rhetoric would be like saying that Texas women want and deserve equal pay even though you oppose an act that helps to further that goal. 

Now that's beyond even garden-variety Republican dumb, but she's not done yet. Oh, no not even close!

But after Whitely asked Christman to provide a better solution for equal pay, the PAC leader stumbled with some awkward rhetoric of her own.

“If you look at it, women are… extremely busy, we lead busy lives,” she explained. “And times are extremely busy. It’s just — it’s a busy cycle for women, and we’ve got a lot to juggle.”

 

So, um. . . you're too busy. . . for, um . . . equal pay? I don't get it. And why would you say "a busy cycle?" I'm a dude and even I know what "cycle" means to women. I wish I didn't, but I do. But word choice aside, what the hell does being busy have to do with anything? It doesn't make any sense.

“And so when we look at this issue, we think, what’s practical?” Christman continued. “And we want more access to jobs. And we want to be able to go to get a higher education degree at the same time we’re working or raising a family. That’s common sense. And we believe that real-world solution is a more practical way to approach the problem.” 

 

More access to jobs, but not more access to monies! It's just common sense! And a real-world solution. It's not a solution to the problem being discussed, but it's probably a solution to something. A real-world solution!

Song dedication

I would like to dedicate this song to the "Reverend" Fred Phelps, who is apparently on his last legs.



I have only one wish for when your life ends.
Come back as a zombie, I will kill you again!

Did you happen to catch Andrew Napolitano on the Daily Show?

Have you ever watched one of those FOX types blathering and wondered how much of their own bullshit they believe?
Well, Andrew Napolitano's recent appearance on the Daily Show was a pretty good indication.

The Daily Show
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If you don't feel like watching the video, here's the gist:
Napolitano was on the show making the rather bizarre claim that Lincoln should never have fought the Civil War because slavery was supposedly well on its way to dying out naturally and there was no reason for so many (white) people to have died in the fight over it.

Stewart set up a faux game show pitting Napolitano against Jessica Williams in a Lincoln beard answering questions about slavery with a panel of judges made up of professional historians.

As you might imagine, the professional historians quickly debunk all of Napolitano's ridiculous claims, and Jessica Williams is the best.

Now, if you were a person who took himself seriously, how would you react? Say you went on TV thinking you were making a salient point, one based on what you consider to be your impressive knowledge of and insight into history. And you really think that this point that you are making shows how much smarter you are than the "mainstream" of opinion, everyone thinks Lincoln was a hero, but you know that he really made a tragic mistake costing thousands of lives.
Now imagine that three actual experts thoroughly demolish your  arguments in front of a national television audience. How would you react? Would you protest? Hang your head? Slink off the set? Or would you, like Napolitano, laugh it off with an "ahh, you got me, had ya goin' there, didn't I?" attitude? Because that's pretty much what he does.

This seems like a perfect illustration of the way these people treat facts and knowledge and ideas. They know they're full of shit. And they don't care. They know they can just say anything, no matter how false, and no one will care - at least no one they care about. They know that for their audience and their employers what matters is not whether a statement is true, but whether it fits in with their narrative.
But you'd think they might at least feel a little chagrined about being proven to be full of shit on national television. But I guess you'd have to have a soul for that.