Stupid people Say Stupid Things

Seems like a lot of stupid people have been saying stupid things lately while I was away from the interwebs.

Stupid person # 1: Newt Gingrich

“First Lady, Senator, Secretary Clinton is very famous for being famous,” Gingrich opined. “And as long as she can continue to be famous, she will be famous.”

Wow. That is a heaping helping of  stupid there. Do you even understand what the expression "famous for being famous" means?  There are people who are famous for being famous - your Kardashians, your Paris Hiltons, your Bert Convys. But someone who has been Secretary of State and a United States Senator is not. . . do I even need to explain this? I know she's the presumptive Democratic front-runner so you need to come up with nasty  things to say about her, but for fuck sake, put some effort into it. You just sound pathetic.

Stupid person # 2: Bill O'Reilly

"The O’Reilly haters are pretty much the people that have no idea what I do. And I like that — I mean, I don’t have any problem with people disliking me, and I’ll tell you why. I’m not comparing myself, but who was the most hated person in Judea 2,000 years ago?
Many, many loved him, but just as many despised him. They’re always going to do that. If you speak your mind, you’re going to have some who like you and some who hate you."

Geez, where to start?
First of all, the most hated man in Judea 2,000 years ago? I'm gonna go with Herod. Or Pontius Pilate, or Caesar, someone who represented the Roman oppressors.
Second, do you think you're the most hated person in our time? Honest to God, you're just not that important. You'd be surprised how many people have no idea who you are.  And why would people who "have no idea what you do" hate you?

Stupid person # 3: Danny Faulkner

Danny Faulkner, a creationist and astronomy professor from the Christian non-profit organization Answers in Genesis, said the show is biased against creationist scientists and that there are plenty of scientists who consider creationism a valid theory for how Earth came to be.
“Creationists aren’t even on the radar screen for them, they wouldn’t even consider us plausible at all,” Faulkner told Janet Mefferd in response to her asking if “Cosmos” producers “ever give creationists some time.”
“Consideration of special creationism is definitely not open to discussion it would seem,” he continued.

Dammit, the science show won't give equal time to creationists! Just like how This Week in Baseball doesn't do enough hockey stories. And Playboy Magazine doesn't show enough naked men!

Stupid person # 4: Mitt Romney

“I think effective leaders typically are able to see the future to a certain degree, and are able to take actions to shape it in some way,” he added. “And that’s, of course, what this president has failed to do. And as secretary of state, Hillary Clinton as well.”

Yes. Good point. Barack Obama can not see the future. Touche'!

A question for Canadians

Let me go on record, first, as saying that I love Canada. My wife's family hails from Canada (Montreal and the Sault) and although I've only been there a couple of times I love everything about your wonderful country. That being said, is this considered normal up there?

 

We've started watching a really good Canadian cop show called Durham County (Netflix, check it out). On this show, the cop's younger daughter often sports this weird anime-looking mask. At first we assumed that she was just a weird kid, but then they show her talking to another little girl in a similar mask. And then she has a birthday party and a bunch of little girls are wearing these nightmare-inducing masks. So I have to ask. Is this a thing in Canada? Is this something that is popular with the kids up there? Because if it is, I'm afraid to ever go back there.

Who names mailboxes?

The companies who manufacture and sell mailboxes employ people whose job it is to come up with names for the various models. Apparently, those people are insane. Look at the names they come up with:

Solar Group Inc E11B Black Elite Premium Steel Mailbox

$19.99 from 25+ stores

That's right, the "Elite!" Let all your neighbors know that you are a member of that elite strata of society that can afford a TWENTY-DOLLAR mailbox! Just like Lord Grantham probably has. I mean, a tin box in which to receive your mailings? clearly only a member of the landed gentry could own such a prize.

  Oh, wait. I stand corrected

 .

Rubbermaid Gentry All-in-One Plastic Mailbox and Post

 Clearly, the gentry would have their mail delivered into a Rubbermaid all in one model.

But what if you're not some snotty elitist gentry guy? What if you're just a good ol' fashioned red-blooded "Murican?

The Rubbermaid Patriot Standard Size Plastic Post Mount Mailbox


 How? How exactly is this mailbox a "patriot?" I'm fairly sure that inanimate objects, such as a mailbox, are incapable of feeling any such emotion as patriotism. Lacking the ability to feel feelings, there is no way that a mailbox feels any sort of attachment to its home country, and if it did, it would probably feel that love for China. So what makes this "patriotic?" It's not like it's red white and blue. It doesn't have a picture of Uncle Sam making love to a bald eagle. It's just a plain grey mailbox. Could it be that maybe the marketing folks just sat around and thought "what words do people react positively to? Oh, I know, national chauvinism! No, wait, even better. . . Patriotism!"

Of course, you might not be all that patriotic. Maybe you're some sort of Anglophile or some other sort of traitor. Well, they have a box for you, too!


Solar Group WMH00B04 Windsor Mailbox

Oooh, I say!  Pass the tea and crumpets. Why, blimey we must be at Windsor Palace, harrumph!

Surely this is exactly the sort of accessory one might expect to see by the front door at Windsor.

If you look closely, you can see the mailbox!

 



But, hey, if you're going to spend your hard-earned dough on a mailbox, you might as well splurge and go with the "Deluxe" model!


Solar ST200000 Deluxe  Rural Mailbox



What makes it "rural?" Hell if I know. But just check out these deluxe features:

Features: -Mailbox.-Material: Galvanized steel.-Plastic latch and flag.-Durable ribbed body for extra strength.-Holds mail for days as well as small parcels.-Assembly required

Whoah, did you catch all that? A plastic latch AND a flag? On one mailbox? And you're saying that it "holds mail?" and assembly is required? Now that's what I call deluxe! How much would something like that set you back, anyway?

$31.47

Home Depot

+$2.52 tax and $7.74 shipping

Well, I never thought that kind of luxury would come cheap, but I'm sorry, too rich for my blood. My last name ain't Rockefeller, you know!
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Dumbest lady ever is in Texas (duh!)

This is quite possibly the dumbest lady ever:



I tried, in the interest of fairness, to find a picture of her where she didn't look like a mental defective, but I struck out.
Anyway, her name is Cari Christman, and she is the spokeslady for some sort of Republican women's PAC or something like that and she was getting interviewed on some Texas tv station or whatever and this is what she said about equal pay for the womens:

“We believe that Texas women want and deserve equal pay,” Christman admitted. “But honestly, Jason, we don’t believe the Lilly Ledbetter Act is what’s going to solve that problem for women. We believe that women want real-world solutions to this problem, not more rhetoric.”

  

"Rhetoric." You don't actually know what the word "rhetoric" means, do you? Because how is the Lily Ledbetter Act rhetoric? It's kind of the opposite of rhetoric. It's a substantive action. 

Rhetoric would be like saying that Texas women want and deserve equal pay even though you oppose an act that helps to further that goal. 

Now that's beyond even garden-variety Republican dumb, but she's not done yet. Oh, no not even close!

But after Whitely asked Christman to provide a better solution for equal pay, the PAC leader stumbled with some awkward rhetoric of her own.

“If you look at it, women are… extremely busy, we lead busy lives,” she explained. “And times are extremely busy. It’s just — it’s a busy cycle for women, and we’ve got a lot to juggle.”

 

So, um. . . you're too busy. . . for, um . . . equal pay? I don't get it. And why would you say "a busy cycle?" I'm a dude and even I know what "cycle" means to women. I wish I didn't, but I do. But word choice aside, what the hell does being busy have to do with anything? It doesn't make any sense.

“And so when we look at this issue, we think, what’s practical?” Christman continued. “And we want more access to jobs. And we want to be able to go to get a higher education degree at the same time we’re working or raising a family. That’s common sense. And we believe that real-world solution is a more practical way to approach the problem.” 

 

More access to jobs, but not more access to monies! It's just common sense! And a real-world solution. It's not a solution to the problem being discussed, but it's probably a solution to something. A real-world solution!

Song dedication

I would like to dedicate this song to the "Reverend" Fred Phelps, who is apparently on his last legs.



I have only one wish for when your life ends.
Come back as a zombie, I will kill you again!