Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Someone has awakened the Gorgon!



Somehow, Phyllis Schlafly is still alive and people are still paying her to write things.

So we get treated to her analysis of just what the heck is wron with college these days. Anyone wanna guess what the problem is?

Well, obviously the problem is too many women!

Seriously, because no one hates women more than Phyllis Schlafly!

BRAVE NEW SCHOOLS

New math on college campuses

Phyllis Schlafly proposes plan to change ratio of males to females at universities

Long ago when I went to college, campuses were about 70 percent male, and until 1970 it was still nearly 60 percent. Today, however, the male percentage has fallen to the low 40s on most campuses. 

The American Council on Education reports that women have averaged 57 percent of enrollments since the year 2000. Women received nearly 60 percent of all college degrees conferred in 2010.
This has dramatically changed social relationships and interactions among students. Most girls and even some boys do not like this change, but nobody knows what to do about it, and few are even willing to discuss it.

Right. Because no one is more in tune with what the college "boys" and "girls" think than this person:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/8b/Phyllis_Schlafly_by_Gage_Skidmore.jpg




One female student described the new relationship between the sexes like this: “Out of that 40 percent male population, there are maybe 20 percent we would consider dating, and out of those 20 percent, 10 have girlfriends, so all the girls are fighting over that other 10 percent.”


Oh, I didn't realize you had done that much research! You talked to one actual college student? 

http://www.blogcdn.com/www.parentdish.com/media/2010/03/drunkgirl-240th0203.jpg 
And apparently, it was her.

So the ladies are having trouble getting dates? Is that the problem? I mean I could see that being difficult for the "girls." I mean, they might have to concentrate on their studies or something!

 Also, there really is just no other place for a single gal on the go to meet a fella. If there aren't enough guys on your campus. . . hello, spinsterhood!

https://davidsbureauofnewsintelligence.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/catlady.jpg

Why oh why did I go to college?

Colleges claim they grant admissions based on academic merit, and girls come out of high school with better grades than boys. But that doesn’t always mean they are smarter or more capable of doing college work or succeeding after graduation.

Yeah, obviously if the metric you're using results in more women qualifying than men, your metric must be wrong. Sure they "claim" they're basing admission on academic merit, but how can grades be a measure of academics?

Boys do far better on average than girls on the SAT test for mathematics, which means that boys are better prepared than girls for STEM majors in college. This has been true every year for more than 40 years.
Nearly twice as many boys as girls attain very high scores on the math SAT, with an immense difference at the high end. But the job market for STEM graduates is not as good as it should be, due to corporations’ preference for hiring lower-paid, easy-to-control foreigners on H-1B visas, so many American guys decide that the high cost of an engineering degree is not worth it.

So a bunch of American guys are thinking to themselves, "gee, I have a real aptitude for engineering, but college is expensive! Guess I'll go see if Taco Bell is hiring." But somehow women have yet to figure this out? They're just wasting their money on college degrees while the menfolk stay home and. . . Okay, I'm lost. I though the reason there were fewer males in college had to do with some unfair standard for admissions (good grades).  Now you're saying it's the boys' choice not to enter college?

A shocking 46 percent of recent college graduates work in jobs that do not require a college degree. Boys are more likely than girls to look at the cost-benefit tradeoff of going to college. The imbalance of far more women than men at colleges has been a factor in the various sex scandals that have made news in the last couple of years.

Wait. Where did that come from? Shouldn't there at least be a paragraph break between the high cost of tuition and sex scandals? And when you say "sex scandals" you mean sexual assaults, right? You're not talking about like extra-marital affairs or whatever, right? And you're saying that, for instance, if there were more men on campus, Jameis Winston wouldn't have committed rape? 
Or that Phi Kappa Tau fraternity at Georgia Tech wouldn't have thrown rape parties had there been more men on campus?

So, what’s the solution? 
 
Yes, what solution do you have for this problem that is not a problem? How can we finally give college guys a fair shake?
 
One solution might be to impose the duty on admissions officers to arbitrarily admit only half women and half men.

Because we all know how much conservatives loooove quotas!

Another solution might be to stop granting college loans
 
Wait. The problem is that college is too expensive, and your solution is to cut out college loans? It's like you're in a leaky boat and your solution is to drill another hole. 
 

Another solution might be to stop granting college loans, thereby forcing students to take jobs to pay for their tuition and eliminate time for parties, perhaps even wiping out time for fraternities and sororities.

And nothing will attract more young men to your campus than having no parties!

Another solution would be to reinstate all the men’s sports that were canceled by an extremist feminist application of Title IX, the federal law that prohibits discrimination against female students.

Name one. Name one sport that was cancelled because of Title IX. It seems to be an article of faith on the right that tons of men's sports got cancelled because there was no women's team, yet every Saturday, turn on your TV and there is college football in all its glory even though no college I know of offers a women's football team. 

(For those readers outside the US, by "football" I of course mean "handegg.")
http://img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20131127233157/camphalfbloodroleplay/images/7/7b/Handegg-Football-Johnny-Manziel-Clint-Dempsey.jpg
The feminists have abolished more than 2,200 men’s college sports teams since 1981, such as wrestling, gymnastics, track, golf and even some football in order to limit the number of male players to Title IX guidelines.

Name one. Name one college that has cancelled men's football because of Title IX. I know UAB is ending it's football program, but that is due to financial trouble, not due to having too many men playing sports. So go ahead, name one school that has cancelled men's football, wrestling, or gymnastics because of Title IX.

It amazes me that you think "the feminist" have so much power that they can have entire sports teams disbanded when they can't even get a rapist expelled from most campuses.

By the way, I did  google search for "school cancels men's gymnastics" and got zero results.

No results found for "school cancels men's gymnastics".


That removes a primary motivation for young men to go to college, many of whom want to try out for a sport even if they are not good enough to make the team.

Wait. So you're saying that a bunch of young American men are thinking to themselves "gee, I'd sure like to go to college, but if I can't try out for the wrestling team, then fuck it, what's the point? I mean, what do I get out of this? An education? Better job prospects? Pfft! I only care about trying out for a team that I'm probably not good enough to make anyway." Do you really want these lummoxes taking up space in our nation's classrooms?

http://collegetimes.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/AlyssaMiller091012-2.jpg

If I can't try out for the football team, I'm going home!

The popularity of the new college football playoff system illustrates how successful men’s college sports can be for participants and fans alike. But when colleges eliminate men’s sports, women are hurt by the resulting gender imbalance in enrollment.
 
Oh, so you are aware that college football still exists! Although, you must realize that very few of these players are actual "students" who are going to graduate or earn a degree. Also, college football is mainly successful for the university's coffers, television networks and advertisers, most participants are left with no degree, no job, some pleasant memories and a lot of aches and pains. (if they're lucky)
http://cdn.abclocal.go.com/images/wabc/cms_exf_2007/_video_wn_images/7731650_600x338.jpg
 So successful!
 
 
And so far you've yet to show any connection between the imaginary cancelling of men's sports and "gender imbalance" on college campuses. And you certainly haven't shown how women are "hurt" by being in the majority. I'm fairly sure that most women are not like you, Phyl. They don't despise themselves and their gender so much that they can't stand being in the company of other women.


Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Just sayin'



Dershowitz hits back, seeks to disbar accuser's lawyers in sex abuse case

The U.S. criminal lawyer wants to discredit two attorneys representing a woman who says he abused her when she was underage



Or, in other words. . .




http://t.qkme.me/3670kd.jpg                 http://th05.deviantart.net/fs70/200H/i/2011/042/3/0/guilty_by_platypusluver-d39bl2p.png


http://www.penguinpetes.com/images/guilty_guilty_guilty.jpg

Please Ignore



Madonna sparks outrage with Mandela, Martin Luther King Jnr 'Rebelheart' images

Bang Showbiz | 04 January, 2015 09:52

http://assets.nydailynews.com/polopoly_fs/1.2064581!/img/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/article_970/madonna4f-1-web.jpg
This is what she does.
Whenever she hasn't been getting sufficient attention she does something "shocking" to get her name back in the zeitgeist.

Madonna is not stupid, ok? And I don't think she's delusional. Does she think that she is the same type of rebel/martyr figure as Martin Luther King or Nelson Mandella?

http://media.news.de/images/respektlos-madonna-mandela-martin-luther-king_856118216_540x300_5a4f3e1f44c3f077c534ecf11e24b2db.jpg?images/24/63/61b90f1f87babbc604f89a1ab103.jpg,nopic/no_pic.jpg,540,300,,1,0,0,1000,556,,

Of course not. She's not stupid. But she knows  this will get her attention.

This is a woman who once published an entire coffee table book of naked pictures of herself.
http://a401.idata.over-blog.com/5/47/08/55/2013-dossier-5/tumblr_msytwbRUZi1sadfdyo1_1280.jpg

When people weren't talking enough about her, she walked topless down the runway at a Jean Paul Gaultier show.

http://villageartisan.org/wp-content/uploads/catablog/fullsize/photo_not_available-4.jpg
This is a family blog.

When her star had faded again, she kissed Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera at some awards show just to get people talking about her. And it worked because there's a sucker born every minute.

http://jokesonyou.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/britney_spears_madonna_vma_the_fren.jpg 
Women kissing? That's not something you see every day. 
Unless you have a computer. Or a television.



 And remember this trainwreck?

http://www.tvacres.com/images/madonna_letterman.jpg

So, no. Madonna doesn't actually think that she's an MLK or Mandella-type figure.

http://media.tumblr.com/37a85ce23fcc212c1b4aaea039a4b681/tumblr_inline_mzkuhzpDBx1qcc6n8.jpg
Also, she knows she's not Che.


 She's not stupid. She knows exactly what she's doing. And when you take to the Twitter or the Tumblr of the Facebook to express your OUTRAGE!!! at her latest stunt, you're giving her exactly what she wants. She's like the cliche' child who doesn't care if she gets positive attention or negative attention as long as she gets attention.


 So, please, just ignore Madonna. There is no point in condemning her, as long as you're typing her name she's happy.

And, geez, it's not like we didn't already know how low she'd stoop to get a little publicity!

http://media.tumblr.com/d0ac5b5d3a1a62d463e40f6f6e97e447/tumblr_inline_mjx3c0Pszj1qz4rgp.jpgimageimage






Monday, January 5, 2015

Headlines that sound like The Onion



American Achiever of 2014: Sarah Palin


Um. . . Achiever? 


 http://webinarsforprofit.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/confused.jpg



 2014? 

 http://www.dailymobile.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/Confused-man1.jpg

Sarah Palin?      


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You know, I could see naming Ms Palin "achiever of the year" for whatever year she won the gubernatorial race in Alaska. That was quite an achievement for an empty-headed, spite-fueled mayor of  methtown.  But 2014? What the hell did she achieve in 2014?

Well, she did manage to go the entire year without having another baby. Or grandbaby. So that's something.

And she was handed yet another "reality" show by the lib'rul lamestream media, although it is on a channel no one watches and she looks to be one of three "hosts" even though her name is above the title. So I guess having name enough name recognition that a huntin' & fishin' channel will pay you to try to drum up some interest in some piece of crap show is sort of an accomplishment?

And I think that there was that one time she managed to form a coherent sentence.

Also, she finally dislodged that piece of popcorn from between her teeth. She found her car keys.  She did a load of laundry in which all the socks matched up.

She remembered to wear her underwear on the inside.

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi15IXG1V4fERv3FS91jSXQIy5Equ0JomtCAwYbOmJOvI9Y8XQH49iDg5KeH09L7YUIbUgpPQcUxRmoEswfxTXqgs-dMybud7aAfv0BAJqyeqRpMpfpfLfyjt7l6lO5slQllVX5L2FS1xs8/s1600/Paul-Cram-Underwear.jpg 
Some folks still haven't got the hang of it!


But let's just see what accomplishments she's actually being honored for.


It would be the height of churlishness for even the most inveterate leftist to deny the import of someone who made Time magazine's "100 Most Influential People" list, and then the Smithsonian Institution's "100 Most Significant Americans Of All Time" list.  Both affirmations were earned by former Alaska governor and vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin.

What the fuck? Most significant Americans of all time? She made the top 100? She's on a list that presumably includes George Washington, Martin Luther King Jr, Henry Ford and Joan Jett? What the hell is wrong with the Smithsonian?

Let me look at that list. 

Okay, among the first three names listed are a Brit and two Italians, at least one of whom never set foot in America.

Trailblazers
Christopher Columbus
Henry Hudson
Amerigo Vespucci



So, I'm not sure that I'm going to give this list all that much weight.

Especially since this list does not include Cesar Chavez,  Woody Guthrie, Miles Davis, Mario Savio, Orson Welles, or Gloria Steinem. 

Also, the traitors Benedict Arnold and Robert E. Lee made the cut, so inclusion on this list is not necessarily a compliment. Seriously, Lucky Luciano, John Wilkes Booth and Charles fucking Manson all made the list. 

So, anyway, I'm not sure that making this list really makes you that much of an "achiever."


To then accept Governor Palin as "American Achiever of the Year 2014" would be for most, if not all on the left (and to be fair, many in the GOP) no doubt a bridge too far. 

Well, no, it would just be silly. Let's not get all dramatic.
 
Palin achieved what such luminaries as President Obama did not: a place in the Smithsonian's prestigious "Most Significant" list. 

And?

After being written off by many in the media, and especially the left, as "irrelevant" and predicted by MSNBC's Krystal Ball as "not going to have an effect on the [2014] midterms," Palin's record of success of her endorsed candidates was nothing short of phenomenal. Governor Palin endorsed 22 candidates for various offices during the midterm finals, including senators, governors, lieutenant governors, congressmen, and attorneys general.  Of those so endorsed, an incredible 20 were elected

Oh. And we're pretending that she had something to do with their success, is that it? She endorsed a bunch of Republicans in an off-year election in which Republicans won handily with extremely low turnout. So ipso facto, they won because of her. Obviously.  I mean, it's not like anyone else was endorsing these candidates, right?

Also, I think maybe it was these candidates who achieved something more than the person who "endorsed" them. I mean, it's like making me sportsman of the year because I rooted for the Giants and they won the World Series. 

http://cdn-jpg.si.com/sites/default/files/styles/inline_gallery_desktop/public/images/2014-Sportsman-Madison-Bumgarner.jpg
Dammit, that shoulda been me!
Beyond the success of her endorsed candidates lies a much deeper reason for Palin being seen as "Achiever of the Year": those Palin endorsed in their respective primaries who then went on to win the general election battles.  As in the past with, among others, senators Ted Cruz, Kelly Ayotte, and Deb Fischer, and Governor Nikki Haley, who owe their elections in their primary campaigns to Palin's endorsement at a critical juncture, so too could new senators Ben Sasse and Joni Ernst, and new Alaska governor Bill Walker (and, remarkably, his Democrat lieutenant governor Byron Mallott) be considered to owe all or a substantial part of their nominations to Palin's endorsement. 

Really? Do you have any evidence that any of these politicians were helped by Palin's endorsement? Seriously, do you think the voters in these awful states were thinking, I'm not going to vote for this extremist right-wing nutjob. . .oh, wait. Palin's endorsing her? Well, the hog-castrator's got my vote!
You really think anything like that happened? Do you have any polling data to back that up? Any evidence at all?

 For all her detractors’ cries of "irrelevance" and "she's just a reality show entertainer" (those two being among the nicer epithets), Palin goes on, election cycle after election cycle, populating Congress with her endorsed candidates in a cost-effective manner, and in such numbers that the likes of Karl Rove with his 1% success rate can surely view only with hidden admiration, if not downright envy.
 
Wow. Okay, I'll give you that one. She's more relevant than Rove. Jeezus, who isn't these days?

In what is perhaps the most interesting aspect of Palin’s year of achievement, in instance after instance where Palin was ridiculed for a straightforward statement (e.g., "death panels" or the true history of Paul Revere), her most strident critics have agreed, in whole or in part, with her views. 

Well, now you're just lying. That's just a big fat lie. She was dead wrong (lying) about "death panels" and she was dead wrong (ignorant/stupid) about Paul Revere. Yes, I know someone did a bunch of mental gymnastics to come up with a way to say that she was technically not altogether wrong about Paul Revere, but yes she was. She was wrong. 

But, hey, you want to make her your "achiever" of the year? Go right ahead. It's no skin off my nose. Just know that everyone who reads your column is going to be laughing at you.




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Friday, January 2, 2015

A random thing that just occurred to me

Imagine the horror of being Hamilton Burger.

http://www.jeffs60s.com/ham1.jpg
(for those of you too young to know, he was the fictional district attorney who was bested each week by Perry Mason)

Just think for a moment what it must have been like for him. It's not bad enough that you lose every week. Every case. You're the Washington Generals of the legal profession. And every time you step into a courtroom to try a case you hear, "Perry Mason for the defense, your honor" and you think Jesus Christ, again? I mean what are the fucking odds? Is he stalking me? Does he somehow find out what cases I'm prosecuting and then contact that defendant and ask to represent him just to fuck with me? How can it possibly be him every god damned time? It's statistically impossible, but yet, there he is again! Does God hate me? I mean, it's got to be a nightmare going down to defeat week after week after week. . .

But that's nothing compared to the real weight you carry. After every one of those defeats, you have to be thinking "my God, I nearly sent an innocent man to the chair!" I have this enormous responsibility to ensure that the guilty are punished and the innocent are not and I came this close to costing an innocent man his life!

And the only reason that I don't have this innocent man's blood on my hands is that Perry Mason is so much better at lawyering than I am. My inability to secure a conviction is the only thing that keeps me from destroying the lives of innocent people. And next week I'm going to try another case and I have absolutely no reason to think that the defendant will not once again be an innocent man wrongly accused. I'm a monster. And my only saving grace is that I'm an incompetent monster.

I owe such an enormous debt of gratitude to the man that kicks my ass over and over again each week, he's the only thing preventing me from being a mass murderer.

How did he live with that? How does he go through life with that weighing on his conscience? It's unimaginable.

So next time you're having a rough day, next time you're feeling like you're not doing all the good you should be doing in the world, just think about poor Hamilton Burger. And thank your god that you aren't him.