Trump doesn't get the First Amendment

(CNN)Donald Trump on Monday suggested he would "strongly consider" shutting down mosques in the U.S. as part of the response to the terror attacks in Paris.

"Well, I would hate to do it but it's something you're going to have to strongly consider," Trump said during an interview on MSNBC.

Wow! If I thought Trump had any chance of winning the White House, that would be a really frightening statement.

On Monday, Trump also took a shot at New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio for his decision last year to halt a covert NYPD program used for surveillance on Muslim communities.

"You're going to have to watch and study the mosques," Trump said, "because a lot of talk is going on at the mosques...Under the old regime we had tremendous surveillance going around and in the mosques in New York City."

I don't know how much of what comes from Trump's mouth he actually believes, because he says things like maybe we should boycott Starbucks as if he gives a shit about their lack of Christmas spirit, but whether or not  he believes that mosques should be shut down, that certain people's right to practice their religion should be curtailed, the thing is that he said it. Out loud and in public. And it's not going to hurt him. His poll numbers aren't going to drop from this. He might even gain a point or two. He might steal a couple points from Ben Carson, now that he has made the latest outrageously offensive staement. (Ball's in your court, Doctor!)

And none of his fellow Republicans will condemn him for it. None of them will have the balls and the decency to stand up and say "Mr. Trump, in this country we believe in the free exercise of religion as enshrined in the First Amendment." None of the conservative figures who are constantly blubbering on about protecting religious freedom are going to raise a single word of objection to this quasi-fascist suggestion. And the window of what is considered acceptable political discourse will be streched to the right once again.

90 Minutes in Heaven?

While reading about Ben Carson's ghostwriter co-author at No More Mr Nice Blog, I saw this bit about another book that this guy had "co-authored" with another shady grifter entitled 90 Minutes in Heaven.







Here's the gist of the story:

As he is driving home from a minister's conference, Baptist minister Don Piper collides with a semi-truck that crosses into his lane. He is pronounced dead at the scene. For the next 90 minutes, Piper experiences heaven where he is greeted by those who had influenced him spiritually. He hears beautiful music and feels true peace. Back on earth, a passing minister who had also been at the conference is led to pray for Don even though he knows the man is dead. Piper miraculously comes back to life and the bliss of heaven is replaced by a long and painful recovery. For years Piper kept his heavenly experience to himself. Finally, however, friends and family convinced him to share his remarkable story.

That is horrifying. And if I were Rev. Piper, I think I would be the bitterest son of a bitch to ever thump a Bible.

Think about it. You die. You go to Heaven. Which is the best place in the world from what we hear. St. Peter is showing you around, you're meeting people who have influenced you "Oh, hello John Lennon. Nice to meet you, William Faulkner. . ." you're feeling true peace for the first time. And then, suddenly, St Peter says "oh, sorry, bud. Some minister just prayed for you to come back, so we're sending you back to earth. Sorry about the long and painful recovery you're gonna face. Also, your brain has been deprived of oxygen for the last hour and a half, so when you get back, you're basically going to be a turnip with feet." And down you go.

And then there's some ass going "I prayed for God to send you back. Uhhhh you're welcome!"

 

Youuuuu DICK!!!

Don Piper returned from the gates of Heaven to endure 13 excruciating months of hospitalization, 34 major surgeries, including some never before attempted in the United States, and years of painful therapy and rehabilitation. He now shares his incredible lessons of answered prayer, miracles, overcoming tragedy, pain and loss, and the reality of Heaven.

Lesson number one: If I die. For any reason. If you see me and I'm dead. Do not - DO NOT! - do not under any circumstances pray for God to send me back!!!

Around the world Don Piper has shared the story of hope and healing. . . Don Piper is known around the world as, "The Minister of Hope."

Hope? Hope? How is he the minister of hope?
Like, don't worry, even if you go to Heaven, even if you think that you're going to spend eternity in  the unrivaled bliss of Paradise, there's always hope! There's always a chance that some selfish dick will pray to God to send you back and God will actually kick you out of Paradise like you ate an apple and send you back to Earth to live out your days in pain and sorrow. Hope!

Now the good news is that this preacher never died, never went to Heaven and never got sent back to Earth. As you might have suspected, clever folks that you are, it's a money-making scam.

Don Piper is known around the world as, "The Minister of Hope." He founded Don Piper Ministries, a 501-c3 entity, in 2007, to channel revenues from book sales and speaking income to help over 40 ministries here and abroad.

And yes, obviously the money is going to help "ministries" all over the world. 

A Ferrari dealership is a kind of ministry, right?

Also, if you really had a message of hope from the Lord above, and you had been sent back to Earth to spread this message, would you have the balls to charge speaking fees? God has a message for you, but if you think 'm gonna tell you without getting my beak wet, you're outta your mind!

This guy is an actual senator!

Yeah, he's from Arkansas. Of course he is. He looks like one of the kids from Mud.

Sen. Tom Cotton (R-AR) suggested on Monday that population decline and drug abuse in poor areas could be the result of too many people on Social Security disability.

Speaking to the conservative Heritage Foundation on Monday, Cotton warned that communities with high a percentage of residents on Social Security disability had reached a tipping point that was linked to population decline. But he said that communities which used fewer benefits were enjoying a population increase.
“It’s hard to say what came first or caused the other, population decline or increased disability usage,” Cotton opined. “Or maybe economic stagnation caused both. Regardless, there seems to be at least at the county and regional level something like a disability tipping point.”

What the fuck is this guy even talking about?
Population decline?

You know, maybe he's right. Maybe people who are disabled are less eager to have kids? Maybe a lot of disabled people are thinking "Geez, how would I chase a toddler around in this wheelchair?" Or maybe, I don't know, maybe they're thinking "my disability payments are barely covering my living expenses and doctor bills, there's no way I can afford to have a baby."  So, maybe that's not a bad thing? People being responsible about family planning?

“When a county hits a certain level of disability usage, disability becomes a norm,” he continued. “It becomes an acceptable way of life and alternative source of income to a good paying full-time job as opposed to a last resort safety net program to deal with catastrophic injury and illness.”

Yeah. . . no. Not so much. Being on disability isn't something that goes in and out of style. People either are disabled or they aren't. And, yes, there are of course people who fake injury to scam the system. But it isn't like once one person does that faking it becomes contagious either. It's not like Heathers!

“At a certain point when disability keeps climbing and become endemic, employers will struggle to find employees or begin or continue to move out of the area,”

O my God. Has that ever happened? Has there ever been a community where so many people became disabled that companies couldn't find any non-disabled people to work for them anymore? Do you have any idea how ridiculous you sound?

“The population continues to fall and a downward spiral kicks in, driving once thriving communities into further decline.”
“Not only that, but once this spiral begins, communities could begin to suffer other social plagues as well, such as heroin or meth addiction and associated crime.”

Heroin? Meth? Is that really what you think happens? Disablility somehow becomes an epidemic, there are no able-bodied workers left, so companies abandon the city, so then. . . heroin?

 

If only I had kept working after I injured my back!

Cotton revealed that he planned to introduce legislation that would single out non-permanent disability recipients and set a timeline for them to return to work.
Disabled people who are not ready to return to work would be forced to reapply for disability benefits, Cotton said.

Fuck you!
You know, I was on temporary disability once, after an ugly skiing accident. And it took a bit longer than predicted for my fractured hip to heal up. If I had had to go through the headaches of re-applying for disability, I mean -  I guess I would have because what choice would I have had, but still. Fuck you, Cotton. I paid into Social Security, I'm still paying in and probably will be for years to come. If I need to use it, I will. There's nothing in the world wrong with that. It's not a fucking handout, I paid for it. And the entire time that I was on disability, I swear to you that zero of my friends, family and/or neighbors found themselves suddenly disabled. No one said "well, Hell, if the Perfessor can do it, I can too!"  And no one started doing heroin.

How to be an asshole

Look at this asshole:










So, first you make up a totally fake bit of bullshit to wind yourself up about. This particular sack of bullshit this asshole is trying to gin up phony outrage about is that Starbucks changed their winter coffee cups from this:



To this:



So, as you can plainly see, they must really hate Jesus.
Because the old cup had snowflakes and an elk pictured on it which is obviously a way of praising the Christ-child, and the new one is just red. You know,  red like communists are.

 

And you know who else is red?

 

So now you've got your ginned-up fake agrievement. Now you go take it out on a bunch of people who are just trying to do their jobs and pay their rent and have no control over what the company does to their cups. Try to embarrass these kids who have to shout out "Merry Christmas" in the first week of fucking November, when you'd really be jumping the gun by saying "Happy Thanksgiving."

Then, act like you've somehow outsmarted the entire anti-Christmas-industrial-complex. Be really smug about it. Like this is a real accomplishment. Just wallow in your own absurdly inflated sense of acheivement, having "tricked" some teenager making 10 bucks an hour into saying something that he doesn't find remotely objectionable and probably says all the time IN LATE DECEMBER WHEN IT'S FUCKING APPROPRIATE!

Lastly, "challenge" other like-minded simpletons to do the same. As if it were some sort of an act of bravery to give the coffee lady a fake name. Like it isn't just a stupid joke that people do all the time. Like Bart Simpson has done about a million times.

Except that your fake name isn't clever or funny and the Starbucks employee isn't fooled by it because it doesn't sound like a real name.

And that's how to be an asshole!

Rick Santorum is a silly, silly man

Rick Santorum is, believe it or not, still technically running for president.

And here's proof:
(Via)

. . . in an effort to remind us all he’s out there, converting oxygen into carbon dioxide, Santorum sent out a delightful fundraising letter today, captured by Dave Weigel at the Washington Post. 

     

President Obama is chicken!
Yeah, I said it… because someone had to!


 Yeah, no. No one had to say that. No one had to lob a juvenile playground taunt at the president. Especially one that seems based on absolutely nothing.
 If you're going to call someone "chicken," you have to be able to back that up with something. You have to be able to say "President Obama is chicken. I totally double-dog-dared him to jump off the top of the monkey bars and he totally wouldn't."



President Obama is chicken!
Yeah, I said it… because someone had to!
I’ve dealt with the liberal mainstream media for years. They hate us!


 Okay, see. . . that doesn't follow. If you're going to open with "President Obama is chicken," you need to follow that with "but I'm totally not. I'm the bravest boy in the world. This one time, I went to a cemetery at night all by myself." You can't follow up "Obama is chicken" with "boy, don't you hate that mainstream press?" That's not a smooth segue. It's not a segue at all. It's more like a jarring jump-cut for no reason.



I’ve dealt with the liberal mainstream media for years. They hate us!
But last week’s CNBC debate was a joke and everyone knows it!

Well, when you put up a slate of candidates that look like the cast of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour, you can hardly  be surprised it turns into a joke.

Now President Obama mocks us – CONSERVATIVES - for standing up to CNBC? Give me a break! He doesn’t have the guts to appear with Sean Hannity or Mark Levin, let alone take on radical world leaders!

Well, sure, if by "standing up to" you mean whining and crying about how the big meanies at CNBC  were so unfair to you, then sure. You totally stood up to them.
And also, sure the President should totally take time out of his busy schedule to go on with one of the most ridiculous right-wing hacks on FOX and/or some guy I never heard of who apparently has a radio show, you know, if he wasn't so scared of them.

 

I’ve taken on the ladies of The View. I’ve gone toe-to-toe with Bill Maher. And I’ve debated Rachel Maddow and won.

 AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! The Ladies of the View!
Ooh, you took on Raven Symone and lived to tell the tale?

You stood up to the Fearsome Foursome and survived?

 I'm scared just looking at them!

Also, you may well have debated Rachel Maddow, but I promise you you didn't win.

More importantly, I’ve taken on ISIS and Iran.

When?
When have you taken on ISIS?
I'm pretty sure it would have been on the news if you had strapped on a helmet, picked up a weapon and flown to Syria to take on ISIS.

 

It's really disturbing how much "cute kid soldier" clip-art is out there.

You're just lying. Even your glue-sniffing, cousin-loving supporters aren't going to believe that you've "Taken on ISIS and Iran." How can you just throw that out without anything to back it up?

Unless. . . do you mean that you've "said bad things" about ISIS and Iran? That you've wagged your finger or shaken your fist at ISIS and Iran?
Did you give them the frowning of a lifetime?

 

I’ve taken on ISIS and Iran. They know who I am and I know who they are! 

Okay. But honestly, pretty much everyone knows who ISIS and Iraq are. Whether they know who you are is somewhat less likely. But if they do, I assure you, they are laughing.
Because Rick Santorum, you are a silly, silly man!