Fixing political Reporting

So I saw this today and I thought it was kind of funny.

And with this, @FOX2now's graphics department wins the 2016 Local TV News Emmy Award. #Rams #30For30 pic.twitter.com/0PfGmzVDNR

— Tim McKernan (@tmckernan) December 13, 2016

(for the non-sports fans out there, the Rams used to represent St. Louis before moving back to Los Angeles. Apparently some St Louisisans are a bit bitter about this)


Anyway, it got me to thinking.

I think we could solve a lot of the problems with political reporting if we did one thing. Fire all the political reporters and let sports reporters take over. Because sports reporters understand how objectivity works.

For instance:

Last night there was a football game.





The final score was New England 30, Baltimore 23. Now if you turn to any newspaper sports section, or to ESPN or your local news channel, every one of them will tell you that New England defeated Baltimore. because that is objectively what happened. None of them will say "well, both teams were able to put points on the board last night," or "Quarterbacks for both teams threw interceptions, here to debate which turnovers were more costly to his team is our panel of experts. . ."







Even if you live in Baltimore, your local reporters aren't going to tell you that the Ravens won. They may begin the story with "ugh, what a lousy night for the Ravens. . ." but they won't be able to spin the results into a Baltimore victory. Nor will they try.  And they certainly won't say "New England is claiming victory in last night's game, but Baltimore is saying 'not so fast.' Here are a couple of players from each team making their case that their side was the winner, and I guess we'll just never really know for sure! Agree to disagree!" Because objective reporting means you report what the actual facts are, not that you are required to make the story equally favorable or unfavorable to both sides.

If sports reporters covered a debate in which one candidate came prepared with facts and figures, demonstrating knowledge of a wide variety of subjects while the other shouted "WRONG!" a lot, they would just tell you that the first candidate had in fact won the debate. They wouldn't feel the need to speculate about how much of a problem it might be to show up "over-prepared" or whatever.

Sports reporters are allowed to differentiate between the truth and a lie. They don't have to pussyfoot around. They can just come out and say that, for instance, certain baseball players were lying when they claimed never to have used steroids.




Also, they're better at analysis than political reporters. Take for example this breakdown of the 49ers passing offense. There's more scrutiny of factors of causation in these two sentences than in the entirety of most political reporting.

Vanishing after halftime is too common a trend under Colin Kaepernick, who produced only 4 passing yards in the second half before going 2 of 3 for 13 yards in overtime. Although the 49ers should reconsider Kaepernick’s starting role, he is not the only culprit here, including Chip Kelly’s conservative calls, unreliable receivers and costly injuries to Joe Staley, Daniel Kilgore, Vance McDonald and Torrey Smith.

 

Oh, God. It's true! All of it! Oh they're so terrible! 

They used to be so good. So good!




 

Fun with Headlines

All headlines via Yahoo! News

Politics

Tina Fey Has One Answer For Why Hillary Clinton Lost The Election

Does it rhyme with "Schmillary Schminton is a schmerrible schmandidate?"

Report: Illegal Immigrants Using 'Magic Words' to Instantly Enter US

insider.foxnews.com/2016/12/06/illegal-immigrants-using-magi...

 

Washington Times reporter Stephen Dinan said Tuesday that illegal immigrants have been coached to use so-called "magic words" when apprehended by U.S. Border Patrol agents in order to be temporarily released into the country.

 
Hmm. . . I don't know. FOX isn't the most reliable source in the, , ,oh, wait! They're citing the Moonie Times?
Well, now I don't know what to think!

No mistrial for Dylann Roof after church shooting survivor calls him 'evil'

Because of the longstanding legal principle of Duh!

Wait Till You See The Cast Of 'Bewitched' Today!

Um, the one who was a little girl is now an adult? Oh, I can't believe it!
And everyone else is dead, so. . .

Bears, Lions have been totally different teams in fourth quarters

Yes. The Bears and the Lions are, in fact totally different teams. Hence the different names.

Celebrities Caught Doing The Walk Of Shame

Oh, fer fuck sake! Are we seriously still using that expression?

Confucius Say "Do This And Live Without Suffering"

 And that one too?

 

Klan leaders charged after stabbing ahead of pro-Trump rally

Goddammit, those sons of bi --  

Two leaders of the Ku Klux Klan group were set to appear in court on charges of stabbing a fellow white supremacist before a parade to celebrate Donald Trump's presidential election,

 Oh. Oh, okay then. Never mind.







 

Hypocrite of the Day

Senate leader pushes for extension of coal miner healthcare

ReutersDecember 6, 2016

Really. Health care. This guy?

This guy is concerned about people losing their health care?

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - U.S. Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell on Tuesday said he is pushing to extend expiring healthcare benefits for retired coal miners by including a provision in a spending bill Congress hopes to pass this week.

Retired coal miners.

The guy who had to be shamed by Jon Stewart into supporting healthcare for 9/11 first responders is concerned about the healthcare benefits of retired coal miners?

In a statement on the Senate floor, McConnell, a Republican from Kentucky, said that in conversations with House of Representatives Speaker Paul Ryan he has insisted that the Continuing Resolution include "a provision to address that issue so these retirees don't lose their healthcare benefit at the end of this year."

 Oh, right. He'd hate to think that something could cause some people to lose their healthcare!

Unless. . .

Obamacare Repeal Would Take Insurance From 30 Million People

by Associated Press

Gee, who is that guy, that guy who's been so adamant about wanting to repeal Obamacare? Old guy, looks like a turtle, has no decency. . .Oh, right, it's that son of a bitch Mitch McConnell!

So, McConnell is fine, well more than fine, he's practically erect at the thought of stripping health insurance from 30 million people, he's not all that crazy about providing care for the heroes of 9/11, but he just can't stand the thought of retired coal miners being unable to access whatever it is that passes for medical care in the coaldust towns of  rural Kentucky?

Pictured: The best hospital in Paduccah

It couldn't have anything to do with the fact that retired coal miners are largely old white men, could it? Or that these old white men are voters McConnell might need in his next re-election bid? I mean,. the 9/11 first responders mostly live in New York and New Jersey, they can't vote for or against McConnell, that couldn't have anything to do with his callous indifference to their health concerns.could it?


Look, it's great that retired coal miners have healthcare. I'm not suggesting that they should forfeit this. I'm just saying that it's sickening that Mitch McConnell doesn't have the same concern for the millions of other Americans who will no longer have access to doctors if/when McConnell actually does what he's been promising/threatening to do and repeal the Affordable Care Act.

Payback is going to be a bitch!

At first, I didn't get it.

Trump's education pick says reform can 'advance God's Kingdom'

By Benjamin Wermund

12/02/16 06:42 PM EST

Why would Trump pick a Bible-thumping religious fanatic to head up the Department of education? He's clearly not a religious man. He couldn't quote a single Bible verse when asked to do so. He referred to partaking in the body and blood of our Lord and Savior as "eating my little cracker and drinking my little wine." He's a thrice-married libertine who has carried on public extra-marital affairs and claims he has never done anything for which he needed to ask forgiveness. So why would he want someone like this?

The billionaire philanthropist whom Donald Trump has tapped to lead the Education Department once compared her work in education reform to a biblical battleground where she wants to "advance God's Kingdom."
. . . School choice, they say, leads to “greater Kingdom gain.” The two also lament that public schools have “displaced” the Church as the center of communities, and they cite school choice as a way to reverse that troubling trend.

Oh, yeah. . . I've totally noticed how so many communities are now centered around the Public School!
You just can't keep people from gathering at the Public School!

Betsy DeVos also described her efforts, using the biblical term “Shephelah,” an area where battles — including between David and Goliath — were fought in the Old Testament.
“Our desire is to be in that Shephelah, and to confront the culture in which we all live today in ways that will continue to help advance God’s Kingdom, but not to stay in our own faith territory,” she said.

This doesn't sound like someone Trump would hang out with. Actually this doesn't sound like someone that anyone would want to hang out with. But her interests certainly don't seem to align with Trump's.


But I think I finally figured it out. It's a big fuck-you to somebody. I'm not sure who, but it's definitely aimed at someone he thinks slighted him.

See, I think Trump is basically driven by three thoughts.

1. There are people out there who think they're better than me.

2. Shit! What if they're right?

3. Either way, they must be punished.


So Betsy DeVos is probably a big middle finger to the teachers' union for endorsing Hillary, or something.

I think his entire administration is going to be about payback.

People in public housing voted overwhelmingly against me? Well, here's a little Ben Carson for ya!

Black and Hispanic voters went for Hillary? Well, how do you like my blatantly racist attorney general?

Smart people with educations look down there nose at me? How about Sarah Palin for secretary of . . . something. I don't know we'll fit her in somewhere.

By the way, speaking of Ben Carson, wasn't it just last week that he said he wouldn't run Health & Human services because "Dr. Carson feels he has no government experience, he's never run a federal agency. The last thing he would want to do was take a position that could cripple the presidency."

So now he's going to run HUD? A position he's even less qualified for? 

It's going to be a long, long, scary four years.

Trump visits New York Times, New York Times cowers

Finally got around to looking at this trainwreck today:

Donald Trump’s New York Times Interview: Full Transcript

By THE NEW YORK TIMESNOV. 23, 2016

 Following is a transcript of President-elect Donald J. Trump’s interview on Tuesday with reporters, editors and opinion columnists from The New York Times.

 

Okay, so first of all, the Times begins the interview with this line:

SULZBERGER: I thought maybe I’d start this off by asking if you have anything you would like to start this off with before we move to the easiest questions you’re going to get this administration.

[laughter]

NO! No, no, no, no, no. That is not how you approach the soon-to-be-most powerful man in America. Not like sniveling little toadies. Not like craven little apple-polishers. You're supposed to be the institution that holds his feet to the fire, not his P.R. firm. You're not supposed to be his friend!

I'm a little concerned about your choice of approach. 

Is cowardice really going to "wow" the judges?

Then Trump says this:

TRUMP: O.K. Well, I just appreciate the meeting and I have great respect for The New York Times. Tremendous respect. It’s very special. Always has been very special.

Really? Really, New York Times? You're really going to let him say that without calling him on it? You're really going to sit there and smile as if he hadn't been tweeting shit like this for months?

Wow, it is unbelievable how distorted, one-sided and biased the media is against us. The failing @nytimes is a joke. @CNN is laughable!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) August 1, 2016

The failing @nytimes has gone nuts that Crooked Hillary is doing so badly. They are willing to say anything, has become a laughingstock rag!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) September 17, 2016

Wow, the failing @nytimes has not reported properly on Crooked's FBI release. They are at the back of the pack - no longer a credible source

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) September 4, 2016

The failing @nytimes reporters don't even call us anymore, they just write whatever they want to write, making up sources along the way!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 15, 2016

And by the way, Times, I got those Tweets from an article entitled

The 282 People, Places and Things Donald
Trump Has Insulted on Twitter

Which was published on YOUR WEBSITE!
http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2016/01/28/upshot/donald-trump-twitter-insults.html
So it's not like you guys don't know about this.

Then he goes on to say this:

Always has been very special. I think I’ve been treated very rough. It’s well out there that I’ve been treated extremely unfairly in a sense, in a true sense. I wouldn’t only complain about The Times. I would say The Times was about the roughest of all. You could make the case The Washington Post was bad, but every once in a while I’d actually get a good article. Not often, Dean, but every once in awhile.

And still no one from the Times says anything? No one pounds his fist on the table and shouts "stop being such a crybaby, you pathetic little worm! You're going to be the leader of the free world, act like a fucking man for once in your life, you sorry little whiner!"

Look, I have great respect for The Times, and I’d like to turn it around. I think it would make the job I am doing much easier.

And no one says "um, excuse me Mr. Rump, but it's not our job to make your job easier. If anything, we should serve as an obstacle to your ambitions."

We’re working very hard. We have great people coming in. I think you’ll be very impressed with the names. We’ll be announcing some very shortly.Everybody wanted to do this. People are giving up tremendous careers in order to be subject to you folks and subject to a lot of other folks. But they’re giving up a lot. I mean some are giving up tremendous businesses in order to sit for four or maybe eight or whatever the period of time is. 

And no one says "Well, A) we've seen some of these names and no one is impressed. And B) do you really not know how long a Presidential term is? Oh, and C) Is there any way you could try to speak in some sort of coherent sentences? With some recognizable English syntax? Thanks!

  But I think we’re going to see some tremendous talent, tremendous talent coming in. We have many people for every job. I mean no matter what the job is, we have many incredible people. I think, Reince, you can sort of just confirm that. The quality of the people is very good.

REINCE PRIEBUS, Mr. Trump’s choice for chief of staff: [inaudible]

 

 Oh my God, Reince! I feel for ya. I wouldn't be able to come up with a decent response either!
And no one even bothers to ask him to repeat what he just said because at this point, it would just be mean.

And I thought we were going to win it. And we won it, we won it, you know, relatively easily, we won it by a number of points. Florida we won by 180,000 — was that the number, 180?

PRIEBUS: [inaudible]

What we do want to do is we want to bring the country together, because the country is very, very divided, and that’s one thing I did see, big league. It’s very, very divided, and I’m going to work very hard to bring the country together.

I mean, I’m somebody that really has gotten along with people over the years.

 And no one in the room says "Really? Because what you're know for more than anything is insulting people on social media. In fact here in our very paper we recently published a list of the 282 people, places and things you've insulted on Twitter.
Are you planning on "bringing the country together" with shit like this?

Remember when the two failed presidential candidates, Lindsey Graham and Jeb Bush, signed a binding PLEDGE? They broke the deal, no honor!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) May 7, 2016

Oh wow, lightweight Governor @BobbyJindal, who is registered at less than 1 percent in the polls, just mocked my hair. So original!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) September 11, 2015

Ben Carson is being severely criticized for being incapable of understanding foreign policy be one of his top consultants. Not good!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) November 19, 2015

Lying #Ted Cruz just (on election day) came out with a sneak and sleazy Robocall. He holds up the Bible but in fact is a true lowlife pol!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) February 20, 2016

And that's just what you said about your fellow Republicans! How are you going to "bring America together" when you can't stop trying to drive away members of your own party? Let alone Democrats, Libertarians, Greens, Independents, etc?

 Any way, the transcript goes on for quite a while, so I think we'll just stop here for now and maybe pick it up tomorrow.
Good night.