Asshole of the Year

We have a new front-runner for asshole of the year: Lt. Col. Ralph Peters.

This sick little prick went on FOX news and accused a captured US soldier of desertion, accused him of collaborating with the enemy, then said that the Taliban can go ahead and kill him as far as he cares.



Listen, Peters you sick fuck. There is no reason to suspect this soldier of desertion. Think about it. Who would desert in the middle of the fucking Afghani wilderness? How could he possibly expect to make it home from Afghanistan? How dare you make such a baseless accusation against one of OUR Soldiers? Have you no shame? And then you accuse him of collaboration because he was forced to participate in a propaganda video at gunpoint? Where do you get the balls? As far as I can tell, you never served in combat. You think you're going to tell us how a soldier should behave with enemy guns pointed at his head?

Lt. Col. Ralph Peters is a disgrace to the U.S. and to the US Military. Who else but FOX would put such a collossal asshole on the air?

Asshole of the Year

My second nominee for the coveted Asshole of the Year award is. . . . . . . . . . .

Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas!Dang! I'm bored. When do we get to the sexy part?

Back in 2003, a 13-year-old Arizona girl was called in to the principal's office. Someone had whispered a rumor that this girl had brought prescription-strength Ibuprofen to school. (Note: ibuprofen is also known as Motrin or Advil. Prescription-strength Ibuprofen is exactly the same, just more milligrams). When no pills were found in her backpack, school officials made her remove her clothes and show them that nothing was concealed in her brassiere or underpants.

Well, on June 24 of this year, the Supreme Court ruled that this constituted an illegal search. The ruling was 8 to 1. The lone dissenting vote came from our nominee, Clarence Thomas. Even Alito found strip-searching a 13-year-old girl looking for Advil was outrageous, but not ol' Clarence!

"It was eminently reasonable to conclude the backpack was empty because Redding was secreting the pills in a place she thought no one would look," he said.

See, that's what happens when you begin with a conclusion. If you have already decided that the girl must have these pills on her, then when they can't be found in a normal place, like her backpack, you force yourself to assume that they must be hidden elsewhere. If you instead begin with the question "does she have pills on her?" you can search her backpack, have her empty her pockets, and when nothing is found, then you come to a conclusion--which in this case would be, "I guess not." Or you could also not treat students like inmates who have to be searched for contraband at the drop of a hat, but I digress.

Thomas warned that the majority's decision could backfire. "Redding would not have been the first person to conceal pills in her undergarments," he said. "Nor will she be the last after today's decision, which announces the safest place to secrete contraband in school."

Thomas continued, "yesssssss, the best place to hide your special valuables, mmmmmm.... a teenager's panties, mmmmmmmmm........ don't forget to check the bra! Yeahhhhhhhhh........."
Or something along those lines.

Although, in his defense, Judge Thomas may have still been giddy from being the lone dissenting vote in the court's 8-1 decision upholding the Voting Rights Act last week.

So congratulations Clarence Thomas, you've been nominated for Asshole of theYear!

Asshole of the Year

My first Nominee for asshole of the year goes to Georgia's own Neal Boortz.

(seen here being crowned King Dickwad)



Neal has always been an asshole as well as being one of the primary forces behind the "fair tax" movement. Boortz is sort of infamous, at least here in Atlanta, for saying assholish things like "Muslims . . .are sort of like cockroaches," "Cynthia McKinney. . .looks like a ghetto slut," and : "Give 'em all a little nuclear waste and let 'em take it on down there to Mexico. Tell 'em it can -- it'll heat tortillas."

But now, Neal has stooped to picking on a 16-year-old girl. Really.

It all started when a yearbook photo showed a Florida girl who was apparently not wearing underwear. She said she had not worn underwear because she was embarrassed by the visible panty lines showing through her skirt. Well, of course this young lady was devestated when the yearbooks were passed out, and she became aware of the x-rated nature of the picture.
Now one would think that the proper way to handle this "story" would be to ignore it, since A) it's not a news story and B) discussing it any further would only add to the young lady's humiliation. But not our Neal! Neal had this to say about the incident:

“This 16 year old girl at Sickles High School in Tampa, Florida. First of all, she’s a little hefty.

Ok, let me stop you right there. How do you know that she's "a little hefty"? I think the only way you could no that is if you did a Google search for "pictures of 16-year-old girl with no underpants." That's what you did, isn't it? Normally, if a grown man hears about an underaged girl being photographed 'sans coulotte' he avoids the pictures, you know, lest he be thought to be a degenerate. But do go on.

First of all, she’s a little hefty. She’ s still young enough that she hasn’t blimped up to the point that she is deserving of being an object of ridicule, but she is a little hefty,

Wow! Are you really saying that there is a weight at which one deserves to be ridiculed? Is that really what you are saying? Because if that is the case, I think maybe there is a level of baldness, ugly-as-fuck-ness, and of being half a retard which would be deserving, and believe me, you've crossed all three of those threshholds.

See what I mean?

So maybe we could lay off of the weight-based insults?

"she is a little hefty, and her mom is a blimp, but this does play in here. “

Goddamn are you a dick!

Listen to the audio :

He seems to be upset that "you can't see anything!"

He brags about getting a look at the picture "before they started blurring it out"

And he says he "has no sympathy" for this girl because " “If she wasn’t overweight the visible panty line wouldn’t be a problem.”

Hey Neal Boortz, Guess What!

You're the Front-runner for Asshole of the year!

Oh, and by the way, I saw the news footage of the girl and her mother and she is certainly Not fat! Not that it matters, but she isn't.