Why I Love Ben And Jerry

How Cool is This?























And also Ice cream. Sweet, delicious Ice Cream. MMMMMMMMM, Ice Cream! Drool. . . .

Hey, Look!

It's Bram Stoker's Dracula Performed by Baboons!

Does any other blog give you baboon horror movie re-enactments?

No. The answer is no.

All right, then.

You're welcome, America.

You Know What? Fuck You, Bob Dole!

This is what greeted me this morning when I opened the Op-Ed section of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution:

Bob Dole: Start anew

on health care reform

By Bob Dole

You know what, Bob? No.

First of all, why should we take any advice on healthcare from someone who not only opposed the creation of Medicare, but was still bragging about it in the 1990's?

And secondly, No.

No do-overs, no takie-backies, no starting anew. No. You guys had your chance. President Obama and the Democrats were dead set on making this a bi-partisan project. You guys had plenty of opportunity to put in your two cents, and God knows the Dem's were more accommodating than you had any right to expect. You could have participated in good faith, but you chose to shit all over the process, then asked for a delay so you could gin up phony controversies and disrupt town hall meetings so that the facts were shrouded in a haze of death panels and euthanasia and Nazis, and now you want to say that it's too confusing and we need to start over?

Health care reform is the No. 1 domestic priority. With all the charges and countercharges, those who will be affected, the American people, are understandably confused. Many are angry.

Whose fault is that? No one was confused until you (and I don't mean you personally, I mean the right in general) started making shit up. People are confused and angry because a bunch of fucking liars started yelling about tyranny and killing Baby Palin and Hitler and on and on. And it's only a small number of people who are confused and scared, they just happen to be the loudest. Polls still show that around 70% of Americans want a public option.

So no, Bob! We don't need to start over, you guys just need to get out of the way and let the grownups handle this. You had your chance.

Kind of Amazing

This is kind of amazing:

Duggars expecting their 19th child

In a surprise, TV's biggest reality family reveals that another sibling is on the way

It's not just that it's amazing that these loonies would want yet another kid, crazy people always want crazy things. And it's not even the fact that people actually watch their show, freak shows have always attracted an audience.

No, what really amazes me is that after 18 kids, Mrs. Duggar's lady parts can still provide enough friction to, um cause Mr. Duggar to complete the baby-making procedure. I mean, at this point, wouldn't it be like making sweet sweet love to the Holland Tunnel? You know, if the Holland Tunnel were made out of scar tissue and self-loathing?

Why I Hate The Associated Press (chapter 2)

Here is an AP article from today's Atlanta Journal Constitution:

Cheney says politics behind CIA probe at Justice

By LARA JAKES

The Associated Press

A more accurate headline might be

"FOX Continues to give disgusting war criminal Dick Cheney a forum to spew his evil, self-serving bullshit."

Enabling The Big Lie Since 1996

Anyway, the article reads like this:

WASHINGTON — Former Vice President Dick Cheney says politics are driving the Justice Department's decision to investigate whether CIA interrogators abused terror suspects detained after the Sept. 11 attacks.

Now if the AP was doing serious reporting instead of stenography, the next sentence would read: "Mr Cheney was, of course, lying."

But no. The next sentence is just a quote from Cheney.

"I just think it's an outrageous political act that will do great damage, long term, to our capacity to be able to have people take on difficult jobs, make difficult decisions, without having to worry about what the next administration is going to say," Cheney said in an interview aired on "Fox News Sunday."

So now, if the AP understood what the job of a journalist is, they would explain why what Cheney just said was complete bullshit.

But no.

At issue is Attorney General Eric Holder's decision to look into abuse allegations after the release of an internal CIA inspector general's report. President Barack Obama has said interrogators would not face charges if they followed legal guidelines.

Now might be the time for the AP "reporter" to point out that looking into allegations of war crimes is the JOB of the Attorney General.

But no.

However, the report concluded that some CIA interrogators went beyond Bush administration rules that gave them wide latitude to use severe tactics against detainees such as waterboarding, a simulated drowning technique that critics call torture. Three high-level suspects underwent waterboarding scores of times.

One might be tempted to point out that this report illustrates just how full of shit Cheney is when he claims that the investigation is politically motivated.

But no. Not if one works for the AP.

Cheney called the techniques "good policy," saying he was comfortable in cases where interrogators went beyond what they were specifically authorized to do. The CIA report found they included cases of interrogators threatening a detainee with a handgun and an electric drill.

This might be a good time to point out that whether or not the criminal thinks that the crimes were "good policy" is completely fucking irrelevant.

But, no.

Cheney said those techniques were "directly responsible for the fact that for eight years, we had no further mass casualty attacks against the United States."

One might point out here that there is absolutely no proof of this and in fact quite a bit of evidence to the contrary.

But no. Cheney's outrageous claim is left to stand unchallenged.

He noted that the Justice Department, during the Bush administration, approved the harsh tactics in legal memos to the White House.

You might think that an astute reporter might point out that during the Bush administration, the Justice Department was crawling with partisan hacks like John Ashcroft, John Yoo and Alberto Gonzales.

But no.

"Now you get a new administration and they say, well, we didn't like those opinions, we're going to go investigate those lawyers and perhaps have them disbarred," Cheney said. "I just think it's an outrageous precedent to set, to have this kind of, I think, intensely partisan, politicized look back at the prior administration."

Isn't this about the time that even the laziest reporter contacts someone for an opposing view? Isn't that how it's done these days? If you have a report which states that 99.9% of legitimate scientists are warning about the impending danger of global warming, you then have to quote some troglodyte like James Inhofe and conclude that Well, Gosh! There's still a lot of controversy, I guess the jury's still out on global warming! It seems like you could at least present an opposing viewpoint when the main subject of your article is Obviously Lying.

But, no.

Cheney was striking out at a Justice Department that has reeled from accusations of bending to White House politics for years, most recently under the Bush administration.

A decent reporter might have written that the Justice Department was never seen as being bent to the political will of the White House UNTIL the G.W. Bush administration. A decent reporter might point out that the DOJ was politicized in an unprecedented way by the G.W. Bush administration.

But no.

Anyway, it goes on like this for a few more paragraphs. It could have been written by Dick Cheney's public relations team. It's pretty pathetic.

It made me wonder how the new AP would have covered some other major stories.

Hmmmm...... I think it might have gone something like........ (wavy lines).....

"Lincoln Had it Coming!" States Booth

"Sic Semper tyrannis!" Stated famed actor John Wilkes Booth in an interview on FOX Telegraph Service. "Mr. Lincoln had no business winning the Civil War, and I think it's just disgusting the way the press is making me out to be the bad guy!"

Booth was referring to newspaper reports which have often referred to him as an "assassin," especially in the days following Mr. Lincoln's death.

"If every time I kill a tyrant, I'm going to be second-guessed by a bunch of Monday-morning quarterbacks, I'm afraid that might have a chilling effect on future tyrannicide," Mr. Booth continued. "Obviously, if future tyrant shooters have to look over their shoulders, wondering if they might be blamed for killing the President, well, I fear for the safety of this country."

Acclaimed Actor

John Wilkes Booth

Mr. Booth went on to point out that the U.S. has not experienced any Civil Wars since his shooting of Mr. Lincoln. "I don't think that's a coincidence," said Booth.