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Who will be the first wingnut to posit the theory that Andrew Joseph Stack was a big ol' librul and that means that libruls are really the crazy, dangerous ones, etc?

My money's on Jonah Goldberg.

Oops, I mean

It Was One Year Ago Today. . .

Professor Chaos taught the band to play.

They've been going mainly out of style,

But they'll help you kill the boredom for awhile.

So let me introduce to you. . .

Professor Chaos's Daily Irritant Band!!!!!

That's my roundabout way of saying that the Daily Irritant is one year old today!

And some people said I never stick with anything. In your face, those people!

Some People Apparently Give A Shit What Dennis Prager Thinks.

When I lived in Southern California back in the early 1990's, there was a radio talkshow host named Dennis Prager. A self-righteous, preachy windbag, he was popular enough to have a mercifully short-lived TV show. A weird weird TV show. It was filmed on a set which looked like it was supposed to be someone's living room, and Prager held court in the big chair surrounded by sycophants who gathered around him like the Disciples around Jesus Christ seeking his moral guidance.

Anyway, I thought he had disappeared from the scene years ago. But flash forward 20 years, and here he is writing for Nutbag Central, aka The National review Online.

And here is the issue upon which Mr. Prager has chosen to opine:

Dennis Prager

February 16, 2010 12:00 A.M.

The Doritos Ad Wasn’t Funny

That would be the Doritos ad from the SuperBowl. So, way to be up on the latest news, Dennis!
(you can watch the ad here)

By far the most popular ad shown during the latest Super Bowl. . . was the Doritos “House Rules” ad. Tens of millions of Americans saw it as hilarious.

That is unfortunate. Anyone aware of the manifold social pathologies the ad depicted did not find much to laugh about.

See, I just thought it was dumb. I missed the "manifold social pathologies."

Here are the major elements of dysfunctionality this ad depicts:

First, a child smacking an adult across the face is not funny. It is, in fact, one of the last things society should tolerate.

Now an adult smacking a child? Hilarious!
I would think you'd be more concerned with children being hit by adults, women being hit by men, etc. but the adult being hit by a small child, yeah that's what we should be up in arms about.

In real life, a child who hits an adult needs to be disciplined. If a child did that to me, I would grab his offending arm and apply enough force to make it clear that he will never do that again.

Then I'd feel like a big man!
Take that, five year old boy!

After I mentioned this on my radio show, some psychotherapists sent me e-mails disagreeing with these views. They noted, for example, that “violence breeds violence.”

Some clichés are true; I find this one meaningless.The truth is very different: Immoral violence breeds violence; moral violence (such as just wars, police work, and appropriate parental discipline) reduces violence.

Moral violence? Does kicking Dennis Prager in the nuts count?
Dennis clearly knows more about this subject than some bunch of psychotherapists! All they have is years of study and practice and some fancy degrees. Dennis has a philosophy! And his philosophy differentiates between moral and immoral violence. Never mind that concepts like what kind of violence is moral, or which wars are just are completely subjective. (I'm quite sure the 9/11 hijackers thought that their violence was morally justified) If there's any doubt, I'm sure Dennis will be available to decide what is just and moral.

It is a given that I do not defend physical — or any other form of — abuse against a child. Of all the world’s evils, child abuse may rank as the greatest. But a properly administered spanking is not abuse.

It's not abuse if you define it as "not abuse." Just like waterboarding isn't torture if you define it as "not torture."

The Doritos kid deserved a physical response from this man. . . With regard to the argument that this man was not the boy’s parent — and the terrible fact that there is far too much hitting and abuse of children by stepfathers and boyfriends — I do not believe that only parents may physically respond to a child.

There is far too much hitting of children. Also, not enough hitting of children.

I do not believe that only parents may physically respond to a child. Teachers, for example, should be permitted to do so — I was physically dealt with by a number of teachers, and in every case I deserved it.

That's right, Dennis, kiss the whip!

I was physically dealt with by a number of teachers, and in every case I deserved it. I also did so as a camp counselor — to great effect.

Send your kids to Dennis Prager's Spankaway Camp!

And so should the man whom the child in the ad smacked. In an ideal world, all adults raise all children in some way.

So. . . it takes a village?

Second, the two adults in this ad act, to say the least, very irresponsibly.

The man acts and speaks like a lecher and moron. And the woman should not have exuded sexuality for a date in front of her little boy.

Um, I think the guy speaks like a moron because he's speaking to a small child and trying to talk on the child's level. And it's not really the mom's fault that she's hot.

Those who argue that the boy was just defending his mom may well be right. But that only further reinforces the point of what a dysfunctional scene the ad was portraying: A leering man, a mother dressed in a sexually provocative way, and a sexually aware child who essentially serves as man of the house at the age of five.

Sexually provocative? Really? I mean, she's not exactly wearing a nun's habit, but it's not like she's flouncing around in a negligee. But, hey thanks for the family values lesson, Mr. on-his-third-marriage-to-a-woman-young-enough-to-be-your-daughter.

Dennis Prager Marries For Third Time

Now, would you like to take this opportunity to make this even worse? You would? Oh, boy!

Finally, people only find funny that which has some truth in it. Would this ad have worked as well if the characters depicted were all, let us say, Asian-American? Would it have been as effective if it portrayed whites acting this way?

Oh, God. Here it comes!

Tragically, it worked in part because the characters were African-American. The unimpressive sex-on-the-mind male, the sexually provocative single mother, and the prematurely sexually aware and violent boy who is man of the house were familiar — either as an inaccurate white stereotype of much of urban black life, or as an accurate stereotype of much of urban black life.

Oh Damn! No you didn't!

He does have a point, though. White men have no interest in sex.



And white women never dress provocatively or have children out of wedlock.



So, yeah. I can see why people would go to Dennis Prager for moral guidance. You know, if Mel Gibson is too busy.


PS--Here are a couple of fun facts about Dennis Prager from his bio:

Dennis writes: "I vividly recall the moment when, as a boy in sixth grade, I heard the news that Caryl Chessman was executed.

"Because Chessman was executed for rape, the notion that rape is a horror stayed with me almost all of my life." ( The Prager Perspective, June 15, 1997)

ALMOST all my life. You know, I got over it.

"He never fought with his older brother. They wrestled a lot in the basement."

"Anybody who knows, who has read me, who has heard me, who has my four CDs on male sexuality, if there is anybody who is not hung up about that subject is yours truly.

Obviously, not hung up on sex, I mean only 4 CD's on the subject?

Several of Prager's classmates in high school remember him as a loudmouth who was not particularly good at reading whether people were interested in hearing what he had to say

Shocking!

On his radio show Jan. 14, 2010, Dennis said: "When I am with boys and I love being with boys, I do, I always have, I have an affinity, even an emotional affinity, little girls are cute but I must admit that if I could spend a weekend with ten-year-old girls or ten-year-old boys, I'd opt for the ten-year-old-boys because I feel like I have more to say to them... When I meet boys, I am extremely aware that I want to come off to them as an adult and not like a boy.

Creeeeeepyyyyyy!!!

And finally,

Dennis says that he has never experienced antisemitism in America.

Sure, I guess when you give people so many other reasons to dislike you. . .

Worst Business Plan Ever

Sports News

All-white basketball league proposed

ATLANTA, Jan. 21 (UPI) -- A former pro wrestling promoter in Georgia says he's looking to start up an all-white pro basketball league.

So, yeah. This guy was watching the NBA on TV and thought to himself "Y'know what the problem is with this game? Not enough white guys!"

"Only players that are natural born United States citizens with both parents of Caucasian race are eligible to play in the league," Lewis said in a statement.

So not only must the players all be white, but you just eliminated Dirk Nowitzki, Steve Nash, Manu Ginobli, and Pau Gasol.


Coming next:
The all-punters and placekickers football league!

The scrappy utility infielders' baseball league!

And the all- Hawaiian Hockey League!

Giving Them What They Want

Palin lashes out at `Family Guy'

JUNEAU, Alaska – Sarah Palin is lashing out at the portrayal of a character with Down syndrome on the Fox animated comedy "Family Guy."
In a Facebook posting headlined "Fox Hollywood — What a Disappointment," the 2008 Republican vice presidential nominee and current Fox News contributor said Sunday night's episode felt like "another kick in the gut."

Hey, Sarah. Do you know why "Family Guy" made a joke about Down Syndrome? To get attention. To try to shock and outrage people enough to get free publicity. Which you just gave them. Nice going.

"If the writers of a particularly pathetic cartoon show thought they were being clever in mocking my brother and my family yesterday, they failed," Bristol Palin added in the Monday posting.

Yeah, the writers of "Family Guy" gave up on clever a long time ago. See, when the show first came on the air, it was clever. And funny. And it did often push the limits of decency, but it did it while being laugh-out-loud funny, so it was hard to object. Then FOX cancelled it. But due to huge DVD sales and really popular re-runs on "Adult Swim," they brought it back.
But it was never the same. Probably because Neil Goldman had left to do "Scrubs." But for what ever reason, it just wasn't really that funny anymore. Self-impressed douchebag Seth MacFarlane had trotted out the painfully unfunny "American Dad" in the interim, which should have been a warning, but I digress.

The point is, all "Family Guy" really has left is the "shock factor." They got no funny left (did you see their Star Wars parody? As funny as a brick to the head) so all they can do is try to be more and more "outrageous" hoping that the Parents television Council types will give them enough negative publicity to attract curious new viewers.
No one ever seems to get this. It's "The Satanic Verses" principle. No one besides a few academics and literary critics would have read that book. No one else had ever read anything else Rushdie had done before. But the Ayatollah pitched a hissy fit of righteous indignation and suddenly everyone wanted to know what all the fuss was about. (In this scenario, you are the Ayatollah, Sarah)
Same thing with "Basic Instinct" or "The Last Temptation of Christ." The outrage was the only reason people wanted to see those movies. And the outrage industry never seems to get this. They never seem to get that their protests are the movie's best advertisement.
You know who does get this? Gossip Girl.

They put the negative comments right in their ads.


Honestly, if I were a publicist for FOX or Family Guy, I would run an ad like this:

Seriously, all you're doing is giving them what they want.