At 10:30 on Monday night, Ann Romney
is scheduled to take the stage at the Republican National Convention,
in Act 1 of her husband’s four-day introduction to the nation. But tens
of millions of people will not be able to watch. . .
Advisers to Mitt Romney,
facing a blackout of the opening-night program they fastidiously
scripted to soften perceptions of the candidate, are angry.
Um, guys, seriously, they're doing you a favor. It isn't going to help your candidate to have that haughty, imperious bitch broadcast into the voters' living rooms.
A while back, I started writing a musical based on my idea of what Gilbert & Sullivan might have to say about today's political scene were they somehow alive today. I call it
Anyway, I got tired of it and stopped, but now I'm starting up again. Scene 3: The Modern Libertarian.
Enter Ron and/or Rand Paul:
I am the very model of a modern Libertarian
I've all the flawless logic of a senile centenarian
I don't believe in government
I miss no chance to bash it
But when my SSI check comes, you bet your ass I cash it!
When anyone says regulate, I say the market should decide
And when it comes to poverty, I say the market will provide.
I don't believe the government should ever interfere with us,
Except to make some rules about the contents of your uterus!
I am the very model of a modern Libertarian
My following is mostly made of college-aged contrarians
I talk about morality
I think that kindness is a vice
I think that I can make Ayn Rand compatible with Jesus Christ
I know our mythic history, George Washington and Thomas Paine
Ayn Rand and Ronald Reagan each have favored spots within my brain.
Of Austrian economics I know quite a lot, or so I'm told
At least enough to crucify this country on a cross of gold.
I've all the sensitivity of any brute barbarian
There's nothing that I hate more than a weak egalitarian
In matters of society, bourgeois or proletarian
I am the very model of a modern libertarian
Team Chaos spent the last few days on the Redneck Riviera, so posting was a bit spotty. So what happened while I was purposely not paying attention?
Well, we lost Phyllis Diller.
That's kinda depressing.
One of the last of the old showbiz legends.
Some more right-wing gun nuts killed more people which, of course, prompted absolutely no one to propose that maybe we ought to try and keep lunatics from getting military-grade assault weapons. Or at least, no one in a position to do anything about it has proposed such an idea.
Suspects in Louisiana deputy shootings tied to ‘sovereign citizen’ movement
Police say at least two of the seven suspects arrested for the fatal
shooting of two Louisiana sheriffs deputies last Thursday are connected
to the anti-government “sovereign citizen” movement.
According to WBRZ-TV,
28-year-old Kyle Joekel and 44-year-old Terry Smith had identified
themselves as part of the movement, which was classified as a domestic
terror group last year by the FBI.
Joekel and Smith, along with several members of Smith’s family and
other associates, were arrested following an ambush on authorities in
LaPlace, Louisiana, about 25 miles west of New Orleans. Deputies Brandon
Nielsen and Jeremy Triche were killed in the ensuing shootout. Two more
deputies were wounded.
A colossal asshole from Missouri said a disgusting thing about rape:
Senate Candidate and Rep. Todd Akin (R-MO) told a local television station on Sunday that “legitimate rape”
rarely produces pregnancy because “the female body has ways to try to
shut that whole thing down.” Akin cited conversations with unnamed
doctors for the bizarre claim.
I don't know what is more stunning, the naked misogyny or the blatant use of absurd junk science.
So, obviously a lot of people were offended by this gross claim, so Akin went ahead and made it worse:
AKIN: You know, Dr. Willke has just released a statement and part of his
letter, I think he just stated it very clearly. He said, of course Akin never used the word legitimate to refer to the rapist, but to false claims like those made in Roe v. Wade and I think that simplifies it….. There isn’t any legitimate rapist…. [I was] making the point that there were people who use false claims, like those that basically created Roe v. Wade.
Because, you know, pregnant women will do anything for a free abortion! Why else would they get themselves all knocked up, if not to grab a free ride on the abortion-a-whirl?
Of course, the delegation from Wingnutistan is rushing to Akin's defense:
@sevenlayercakewhat he said was medically correct. And nobody has the full video, he gets cut off. Sorry, don't believe the spin.
Who is Chris Loesch? I don't know, but I'll bet you every cent I have that he's not a fucking doctor! Because even I know that what Akin said, besides being disgusting, is absolutely NOT medically correct.
And whichever moron writes the blog "Instapundit" had this gem to add:
Yeah, candidates for the US Senate should definitely be held to the same standards as hack comedians.
And of course, raving idiot Steve King (R-His Own Ass) had to jump in:
Rep. Steve King on the Campaign Trail
Posted:
Aug 20, 2012 6:27 PM EDT
By Heather Leigh
"Todd Akin is a strong Christian man, with a wonderful family," King said.
Yes, his family would have to be saints to put up with an ass like Akin.
King supports the "No Taxpayer Funding for
Abortion Act." It would ban Federal funding of abortions except in
cases of forcible rape. Right now, Medicaid also covers abortions for
victims of statutory rape or incest - for example, a 12 year old who
gets pregnant.
Congressman King says he's not aware of any young victims like that.
"Well
I just haven't heard of that being a circumstance that's been brought
to me in any personal way, and I'd be open to discussion about that
subject matter," he said.
Yeah, that's a pretty scientific sample size, there. People who have brought up their experiences with sexual abuse to Steve King have a zero percent pregnancy rate, so that should pretty much settle that. On a similar note, I personally don't know any millionaires, so I'm pretty sure they don't exist and giving them tax breaks is therefore pretty pointless. Oh, also, Mr. King? Remember this?
In explaining himself, King argues that animals have more rights than fetuses, and suggests that liberals have so devalued life, that a man can rape a young
girl, kidnap her, force her to undergo an abortion across state lines, and then “drop her off at the swingset….and that’s not against the law in the United States of America.”
TBS had softball legend Michelle Smith announcing a baseball game which naturally brought out the assholes:
Who is woman calling the baseball game on TBS? Hope the house is clean and shirts have already been ironed...
I will make another wager, here. I will bet that Michelle Smith knows more about baseball than all of these Twiitering troglodytes combined.
What else?
Oh, Hank Williams, Jr is still a slobbering, racist disgrace to his late father's legacy:
From a review of Hank Williams Jr.'s show at the Iowa State Fair on Friday night:
Following the song "We Don't Apologize For America" a chant
of "USA, USA" broke out amongst the crowd. Williams smiled, telling the
crowd that he was their mouth piece and adding:
"We've got a Muslim president who hates farming, hates the military, hates the US and we hate him!"
The cheers that followed were loud and enthusiastic.
Wait, the beer-drinking, pork-eating Muslim hates what now? Farming? Where the hell did that come from? I mean, obviously, he hates the USA, the nation which has chosen to elect him to its highest post. Why wouldn't he hate the US? And the military, sure, why else would he briong them home from Iraq if not to better express his hatred of them all up-close and personal? But farming? He hates farming? Why, because he really dislikes food? I don't even. . . I. . . I mean. . . Jeezus, Hank, you're making the rest of the teabggers seem almost rational.
Oh, and some Ohio Republican idiot accidentally said this out loud:
“I
guess I really actually feel we shouldn’t contort the voting process to
accommodate the urban — read African-American — voter-turnout machine,”
said Doug Preisse, chairman of the county Republican Party and
elections board member who voted against weekend hours.
They breed a very special kind of asshole in Wasilla.
Via HuffPo:
Mega-Gaffes From Another Wasilla Republican
Posted: 08/16/2012 4:54 pm
But soon [Mark] Ewing distinguished himself. . . After talking about
cutting the operating budget, he cited education as one of the problems.
"We are spending millions and millions of dollars educating children
that have a hard time making their wheelchair move and, I'm sorry, but
you've got to say, 'no' somewhere. We need to educate our children, but
there are certain individuals that are just not going to benefit from an
education."
After his comment in the debate was published in The Mat-Su Valley Frontiersman, he received a lot of email. He doubled down on a local right wing radio show stating:
"Actually, you know, that was a response that isn't
politically correct. But I'm going to use a quote from Jack Nicholson
and that is, 'most people can't handle the truth.'"
That's not what I said!
Then he went on to insinuate in Facebook posts (now deleted) that he'd been misquoted by The Frontiersman
Aah, the Wasilla two-step! "I said that, I'm proud I said that, but I didn't say that and how dare you say that I said that!"
A comment on the op-ed, appearing to be from Ewing, stated that he'd
"checked the Wasilla Chamber website and realized the words in the paper
were mine and I should have made that point clear and apologized to the
Frontiersman... and also to the public. It was a poor decision on my
part to not remember what I said used to describe children with special
needs. I know now that what I meant to say and what I said were
completely different and after reading comments from a broad parental
base that all children can learn regardless of their handicap I am not
against teaching special needs children and clearly not trying to hurt
any students or parents that have a child in that situation. This
election is not worth my creditably or using a bone headed remarks that
may hurt others..." (sic)
And a new twist, the "I said that but what I meant was the opposite of what I said."
Sarah Palin would be proud.
Chris Loesch
PlunderBund
