The more I learn about Ted Cruz, the more he creeps me out, Part 2 or 3 or whatever.

Ted Cruz was on the 700 Club the other day, parading his Messiah complex for everyone to admire:


(Via Raw Story)

Cruz on God’s role in the shutdown:

‘His will be done as it will be’

Yeah, because if Ted Cruz is doing something, no matter how stupid or crazy, it's because that's wht God himself wants Ted Cruz to be doing.

Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) said over the weekend that he had prayed to God to guide him in the shutdown fight and was sure that “his will be done as I know it will be.”

 

And I told you to knock this shit off!

 

 

I swear, the more I learn about Ted Cruz, the more this delusional little fucker creeps me out.

This really has got to stop

It's been going on as long as I can remember.



commercials in which human women are somehow attracted to animals.

The Geico pig has had at least two human girlfriends.
















Joe camel always had a beautiful woman hanging around.

The Kia hamsters may not be dating any human women, but human women are supposedly swooning over them.



And it's not just in commercials. Racist misogynist Seth MacFarlane has his dog character Brian date several women.



And why? Any relationship jokes you want to make with Brian and his girlfriend could just as easily be done with Brian and a female dog, although that would give MacFarlane an excuse to make tons of "bitch" jokes, so it's kind of a lose-lose.

It's got to stop. It's gross, it's offensive, it's not cute or funny, it's just got to stop.

What is the message these ads want to send? That using their product will make women throw themselves at you even if you are a loathsome animal? Think about the Geico pig ad. The scenario is that the pig and a human man both have car damage. The pig gets his insurance settled quickly while the human man is stuck on hold. The woman gets so tired of waiting for her human boyfriend that she runs off with a goddamned pig. What kind of a psychotic is this woman supposed to be? She runs off with a pig?

It's got to stop.

Irony dead, Sarah palin violates its corpse

At a veteran's march which Palin and her fellow teabaggers shamelessly co-opted:

"Our vets have proven that they have not been timid, so we will not be timid in calling out any who would use our military, our vets, as pawns in a political game," Palin told the crowd.

Maybe she should have asked, um, the actual veterans?

Apparently, the original organizers of the veterans’ march are displeased with the Tea Party’s co-opting of their protest. On the Million Vet March homepage, the organizers suggest a local organizer invited Tea Party and birther groups against the wishes of the veterans:

The political agenda put forth by a local organizer in Washington DC was not in alignment with our message. We feel disheartened that some would seek to hijack the narrative for political gain. The core principle is about all Americans honoring Veterans in a peaceful and apolitical manner.

Cory Booker Might as Well Just Drop Out of the Race if He's Not Going To Adress The Issue of how Nice this Lady's Boobies Are

(via TPM)

A top aide to Republican New Jersey Senate hopeful Steve Lonegan went into decidedly not-safe-for-work territory when TPM asked why he thinks his candidate has been gaining on Democratic opponent Cory Booker in recent polls.

Oh, God. Here we go. . .


So apparently, Cory Booker has a fan who is also a stripper and also donated $100, presumably in glittery, crumpled singles, to his campaign and he "tweeted" her a message that might be seen as maybe a little bit flirtatious, maybe? And because these are the times in which we live, someone had to try and make a huge shitty deal out of this fact. The designated someone for this teapot tempest was Rick Shaftan, an aide to Booker's opponent Steve Lonegan.

 

 

Artist's rendition: Rick Shaftan

 

Now you might expect a Republican operative to take the pearl-clutching family values faux outrage approach to Booker having had contact with this fallen woman, but bear in mind, this is New Jersey.

 



 

 

"It was just weird. I mean, to me, you know, hey, if he said, 'Hey, you got really hot breasts man, I'd love to suck on them.' Then like, yeah, cool. But like, he didn't say that," Shaftan explained.

Yes, that's obviously the sort of thing any normal person would say. Because lines like "I'd love to suck on them" have pretty much a 100% success rate with the ladies! Also because why would Booker be a decent human being when he clearly has the option to be a drooling swine?

"It was like kind of like, I don't know, it was like what a gay guy would say to a stripper.

Um, I think what a gay guy would say to a stripper would be "Excuse me, ma'am, you've got the wrong house." or maybe "Hey, wait a minute, this isn't Swinging Richard's!" (that's right, Swinging Richard's)

 . . . it was like what a gay guy would say to a stripper. It's the way he was talking to her. It's just like like there was no sexual interest at all.

And everyone knows there's no reason for a hetero dude to ever talk to a woman if he isn't trying to bone her!

It's just like like there was no sexual interest at all. I don't know. To me, if I was single and you know like some stripper was tweeting me, I might take advantage of the perks of the office, you know?"

Oh, yeah, clearly there's something wrong with Booker. It's like he doesn't even realize that the whole point of running for office is to get laid. Obviously it's Booker who's the oddball here.

 

 

This is strange. It's just weird. ... It's like, 'I don't know who she is. I don't know anything about her.' Get the fuck out of here dude. You can't follow her Twitter page and not know she's got those great breasts. How do you fucking not know?" Shaftan said.

 

Well, maybe, and I'm just speculating here, maybe he just read the words that she said rather than going to her profile to see whether or not she might be in possession of a pair of "great breasts?" Or maybe, and stay with me here, maybe he did notice her "great breasts" but didn't feel any need to comment on them? Because he's a human person and not a rutting barnyard animal? I know, I know, it sounds far-fetched, but I hear tell of certain men who are able to catch sight of attractive women without making gross comments about their boobies. Sounds crazy, but I swear it's true!

 

"It's just too odd and people they just wonder, like, who does this guy really want to work for? Who's he representing?"

 

Um, maybe he represents people who can think of things besides boobies all the time?

 

 

 



Michele Bachmann is even weirder than I thought

And I thought she was pretty fucking weird.

(via Salon)

Michele Bachmann: Obama supports al-Qaida and “end times” are near

"We are to understand where we are in God’s end times history"

Oh, dear lord. . .


According to a new report from Right Wing Watch, Minnesota Rep. Michele Bachmann claimed in a radio interview with Jan Markell on Saturday that President Obama is supporting al-Qaida and that this was proof “end times” were near.


Sighhhhhhh. . .  okay, fine. Go ahead, how is Obama "supporting al-Quaid" today?

Referring to the president’s earlier decision to provide small arms and anti-chemical weapons gear to a number of vetted Syrian rebels, Bachmann said:

This happened and as of today the United States is willingly, knowingly, intentionally sending arms to terrorists,

Oh, Jeezus Christ! Seriously?

Of course, by Bachamnn standards, this really isn't even all that weird. but wait for it. . .

. . .as of today the United States is willingly, knowingly, intentionally sending arms to terrorists, now what this says to me, I’m a believer in Jesus Christ, as I look at the End Times scripture, this says to me that the leaf is on the fig tree and we are to understand the signs of the times, which is your ministry, we are to understand where we are in God’s end times history.

I'm not sure any of that was a sentence, but that's not really the point. The leaf is on the fig tree? Isn't the leaf usually on the fig tree? Aren't there generally many leaves on a fig tree? A leaf being on a tree is some sign of the impending apocalypse?

So, I guess we should all be very very afraid that the world is going to end soon? I mean that leaf is on the tree and what have you, that seems like a pretty negative prognosis, right?

“Rather than seeing this as a negative, we need to rejoice, Maranatha Come Lord Jesus, His day is at hand,” Bachmann said. “When we see up is down and right is called wrong, when this is happening, we were told this; these days would be as the days of Noah.”

Marantha? What the fuck is Marantha?

well, according to Wikipedia:

Maranatha (either מרנא תא: maranâ thâ' or מרן אתא: maran 'athâ' ) is a two-word Aramaic formula occurring only once in the New Testament (see Aramaic of Jesus) and also in the Didache, which is part of the Apostolic Fathers' collection. It is transliterated into Greek letters rather than translated and, given the nature of early manuscripts, the lexical difficulty lies in determining just which two Aramaic words comprise the single Greek expression, found at the end of Paul's First Epistle to the Corinthians (1 Cor 16:22).
If one chooses to split the two words as מרנא תא (maranâ thâ), a vocative concept with an imperative verb, then it can be translated as a command to the Lord to come. On the other hand, if one decides that the two words מרן אתא (maran 'athâ), a possessive "Our Lord" and a perfect/preterite verb "has come," are actually more warranted, then it would be seen as a credal expression. This interpretation, "Our Lord has come," is supported by what appears to be an equivalent of this in the early credal acclamation found in the biblical books of Romans 10:9 and 1 Corinthians 12:3, "Jesus is Lord."


Oh. Couldn't you have just said that?

But more importantly, holy shit! She actually WANTS the world to end! She thinks we should rejoice because the world is supposedly ending. She's like a member of some weirdo death cult. No wonder her eyes look like that!