Creepy religious fanatics are creepy.

So, apparently, fundamentalist creep Vaughn Ohlman - founder of the "Quiverfull" movement made famous/notorious by the loathsome Duggar clan, has a new project.





Which you know is creepy and gross, because who is it that is not being allowed to marry? It's not like this group was started a few years ago to promote the legalization of same-sex marriages. These people believe that the only reason for people to marry is to pump out as many babies as possible. So who in the breeder community is not being allowed to get married? If you said "underage girls," give yourself 1000 points and an airsickness bag!

Although, in their defense, this is the headline on their homepage:

Note: Contrary to vicious internet rumors we do not support or in any way condone child sexual activity of any sort, child marriage, or any other illegal activity. Nor do we support or condone forced marriages. We believe that parents should NOT seek a spouse for a child where that child has not actively sought for the parents to do so.

Okay. That sounds good. No children getting married.

But what about, say, tweens?

Do you support child marriage? No. Marriage is for men and women not boys and girls.
At what age do children become men or women? It varies. Every child matures physically at different rates. Mental, emotional and spiritual maturity vary even more.

So, you can marry a child as long as you say she's not a child. As long as you can say "hey, she's very mature for her age, you can marry a high-school freshman. It's kind of like how you can torture prisoners as long as you say that whatever you are doing is not torture. "Sure, I waterboarded this guy, but I'm saying that waterboarding isn't torture, so therefore I have not committed torture! Case dismissed!"

Also, if you go to the webpage concerning their arranged-marriage summer camp or whatever, you will be treated to this:

The page you requested is not available.

We are in the process of completely rewriting our site.

As a result of being picked up by the national media, and being misquoted, a lot, (and lied about), we decided it was best for our tiny ministry to focus on saying exactly what we mean and to take down the hundreds of blog posts and articles which attempted to explain, discuss and explore

Fortunately, Raw Story has some quotes from the page from before it was taken down where they explain their standards for who is too young to be pushed into an arranged marriage and who is old enough to get to breedin'!

 1.  The ‘youth’ ready for marriage has breasts. A woman who is to be married is one who has breasts; breasts which signal her readiness for marriage, and breasts who promise enjoyment for her husband. (We believe that ‘breasts’ here stand as a symbol for all forms of full secondary sexual characteristics.)

So a pretty good percentage of middle-schoolers are apparently grown women able to marry in the eyes of these sick fuckers godly men of God.

But don't worry, they aren't going to force any little girls to marry without their consent.

Do you support forced marriages? No we do not. Betrothal (called arranged marriage by many) is for those who agree with it.

 

 Yeah, you say no forced marriages but. . .

Scripture speaks of the father of the son “taking a wife” for his son, and the father of the bride “giving” her to her husband…. It gives example after example of young women being given to young men, without the young woman even being consulted, and often, in some of the most Godly marriages in Scripture, the young man is not consulted….

Some use the idea of “consent” to deny the very relevance of the action of their authorities to bind them in covenant, as if a covenant was of no effect whatsoever and all that matters is what the person themselves decide. Others consider a covenant to be something substantial but that it is not really binding until the person themselves “consents”.

In contrast, our study of Scripture has shown that the Word of God considers a covenant made by an authority to be meaningful and binding upon those under his or her authority. Biblical consent is not the “consent” of dating or courtship. It is not a “veto” power. It does not presume to cast judgment over their father’s actions. And so, a lack of consent of the individual concerned is a choice of disobedience, a breach of a vow and of a relationship.

So, no one's going to "force" you to marry, but your consent really means nothing, and if your father has picked out a groom for you and you don't agree, then you're basically defying God Himself and I hope you enjoy Hell!

Bride price: What is it, and why is it important? Wouldn’t a bride price be like selling your daughter? A “bride price” is anything paid or given by the man or his representative at the time of his betrothal or receiving his bride.

 And that's something that you obviously don't condone, right? Right?

Scripture certainly teaches about it, but it is not mandated, however,

 Oh, Jeezus! I guess that's the best we can expect from you. At least purchasing your bride is not mandatory. 

it is not mandated, however, except in the case of a couple of laws. 

 

The bride price plays a significant function: It shows the woman’s value, and the point isn’t that the father gets the money but that he keeps it for his daughter, if her husband should ever abandon her.

Yeah, nothing shows how valuable you are as a person like putting an actual monetary price on the purchase of you. Money that will be kept in trust for the day that you are no longer fertile and your husband trades you in for a newer model, because God knows you aren't capable of getting a job and taking care of yourself. And I'm guessing that alimony and child support probably are foreign concepts in your community.

Stupid club for weiners breaks up

Politics

 

Hollywood’s Secret Conservative Club ‘Friends Of Abe’ Ends

Katie Jerkovich

6:11 PM 04/22/2016

 

 

The secret group for conservatives in Hollywood called Friends of Abe has notified members its organization is coming to an end, at least the way it stands now. And some say it’s because of internal fighting over Donald Trump.

Yeah, they're not kidding. A secret society!

         

           
Conservatives are so invested in their persecution complex that they actually pretended that they had to meet in secret like ancient Christians in the catacombs.

 

Formed in 2005, high-profile supporters include Clint Eastwood, Gary Sinise and Patricia Heaton

And we all know how secretive those folks are about their political beliefs!

The group, named after Abraham Lincoln, swore members to secrecy by adopting a line from the film Fight Club: the first rule of the Friends of Abe is you do not talk about the Friends of Abe.

Seriously?

 

Quoting from "Fight Club" is like wearing a sign that says "I'm a douchey fratboy who thinks I'm deep!" 

For a time it ran a tightly controlled Facebook page and banned members from talking to the press, taking pictures or tweeting at events

Because if anyone ever found out who they were, members might face completely no consequences at all!

 “We will still get together for drinks and speakers, but we may reassess how we approach those events logistically. In short, FOA will return to its roots. It will be a passion project, like it was in the beginning ... We’ll still be a private organization that protects the names of our members at all costs.”

At all costs!

They're actually pretty serious about secrecy. If you click on the link to their website, http://friendsofabe.net/, you'll see this welcome message:

Welcome to Friends of Abe, the legendary “secret” organization of Hollywood conservatives. This is not the official Friends of Abe site. That site is unavailable to the public, and viewable only to members (members login here). 

It was the one place where many of its members – actors, producers, writers and technicians – felt safe from liberal sneers and potential retribution.
“As a conservative, if you expressed your political views at work you would be weeded out,” said Jack Marino, a film-maker. “At Abe events we could get together over dinner and hang out with our own kind and speak freely.”

 

 

Really? Let's look at a couple of examples using members of your crappy club for jerks.

Let's start with Kelsey Grammer. Grammer never made any secret of his right-wing political views, so I'm not sure why he felt the need to join the secret conservative club, but whatever.

An active campaigner for the GOP, Grammer was a guest at President George W. Bush's first inauguration, campaigned for John McCain in the 2008 general election and endorsed Michele Bachmann for the Republican nomination for President in 2012. 

And what consequences did he face after becoming well-known for his love of Dubya and John McCain? Well, in 2011, he got his own show.

 

 The show only lasted two seasons due to low ratings and the fact that despite Grammer's acting talents, the show just wasn't very good.

the series had low ratings from the start, garnering just 659,000 viewers for its premiere and a season high of 440,000 viewers - a far cry from the 1.25 million viewers who tuned in during the first season of Starz’ other drama, Magic City. 

Or, as Grammer put it:

'It may have to do with several things, honestly, but I think it’s possible, I mean, I am a, I’m a declared out of the closet Republican in Hollywood.'  

Because when you're a Republican, nothing is ever your fault and you're always the victim!

Or how about Jon Voight?  Here's a headline from 2012:

2012 Republican Convention: Jon Voight Says Obama is a Marxist, Controls the Media

And in 2010, he published this open letter to President Obama in the Washington Times:

President Obama:
You will be the first American president that lied to the Jewish people, and the American people as well, when you said that you would defend Israel, the only Democratic state in the Middle East, against all their enemies. You have done just the opposite. You have propagandized Israel, until they look like they are everyone’s enemy — and it has resonated throughout the world. You are putting Israel in harm’s way, and you have promoted anti-Semitism throughout the world.
You have brought this to a people who have given the world the Ten Commandments and most laws we live by today. The Jewish people have given the world our greatest scientists and philosophers, and the cures for many diseases, and now you play a very dangerous game so you can look like a true martyr to what you see and say are the underdogs. But the underdogs you defend are murderers and criminals who want Israel eradicated.
You have brought to Arizona a civil war, once again defending the criminals and illegals, creating a meltdown for good, loyal, law-abiding citizens. Your destruction of this country may never be remedied, and we may never recover. I pray to God you stop, and I hope the people in this great country realize your agenda is not for the betterment of mankind, but for the betterment of your politics.
With heartfelt and deep concern for America and Israel,
Jon Voight

What were the consequences of these bold acts of conservatude? Well, in 2013, he went from being the washed-up has-been from Anaconda and the "Baby Geniuses" franchise

 

 to being one of the stars of Showtime's Ray Donovan, resurrecting his career and reputation.

So why was this secret club necessary? Who knows? I guess it's just more fun if you pretend you're doing something taboo and dangerous? But it's all over now, apparently because the members couldn't agree about Donald Trump. Seriously.  http://dailycaller.com/2016/04/22/hollywoods-secret-conservative-club-friends-of-abe-ends/

P.S. While searching for images of Christians in catacombs, I stumbled on to this fresco:
















Is it just me, or is that John Oliver?

More stuff from last week

So what else went on last week?

Well, it turns out that the evangelicals have apparently decided to just go ahead and treat Mike Seaver as a legitimate theologian.

For, did not Saint Paul himself posit that. . . whatever Mike's catch phrase was.

During an interview with the Christian Post this week, evangelist nut job Kirk Cameron said that no matter how wives are treated by their husbands they should be submissive and stay in the marriage because God commands it.

No matter how long it's been since your husband had an acting job, or how many thimes you find  Alan Thicke passed out on your couch. Gawd, can you imagine what a nightmare the Growing Pains set must have been with Alan Thicke and this insufferable prick in the same room together? Yechh!

“Wives are to honor and respect and follow their husband’s lead, not to tell their husband how he ought to be a better husband,” Cameron said before claiming that women should know their role so that the marriage can succeed. “When each person gets their part right, regardless of how their spouse is treating them, there is hope for real change in their marriage.”

No exceptions? Not even for. . .

Cuz I gotta say, that looks like grounds for divorce right there.

“A lot of people don’t know that marriage comes with instructions,” he said. “And, we find them right there in God’s word.”

Sure, like for instance in Mark 12:19

Master, Moses wrote unto us, If a man's brother die, and leave his wife behind him, and leave no children, that his brother should take his wife, and raise up seed unto his brother.

Eew!

Or I Corinthians 7:1, 8

“It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.”

⁸ Now to the unmarried^[a] and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do.

Or staying in the Book of Corinthians, Chapter 7, verse 28 - 34

From now on those who have wives should live as if they do not. . .
An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. ³³ But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— ³⁴ and his interests are divided.

And don't get me started on the Old Testament!

Oh, speaking of theology, I want to revisit something that the Oklahoma Republican guy said in yesterday's post:
“If we take care of morality, God will take care of the economy.”

Now I'm no fancy big-city theologian like Kirk Cameron, but it seems to me that it might make more sense to let God deal with morality while elected officials handle the economy. The things of this world seem more like the province of politicians than the Almighty, while issues of morality seem better left to God. Morality really falls more under His bailiwick.
Sorry for the digression, it's just that I've been doing this a long time and I've never gotten a chance to use the word "bailiwick." Now I have. And there's a fairly decent chance that I used it correctly. Now back to the week that was last week.

Kirk Cameron wasn't the only religious fanatic to make headlines last week.

Christian Group Admits To Sending Men Into Women’s Bathrooms To Scare You Into Hating Trans People

Oh, but I am, Detective Benson.

Sorry, I haven't seen the show in a while.

Anyway. . .

Apparently the SPLC-designated hate group the American Family Association has been sending men into ladies' restrooms to, um . . . I have no idea what they think they're going to accomplish with this move, but let's have spokesloon Sandy Rios explain:

“I think there’s no question that when you say that there are no barriers in the bathroom,” Rios said, “and that if men or women feel like they are men or women, the opposition of however they are equipped, [sic] and you have no restrictions, the net effect will be that people will not be stopped. We’ve already had people testing this, going into Targets and men trying to go into bathrooms. There is absolutely no barrier.”

What?

“And so the chief concern,” she continued, “even more than just, I think, trauma, certainly for little girls of having men dressed like women coming in their bathrooms, the chief concern of the American Family Association is the predators who will take advantage.”

Speaking of predators, is there any chance you did any sort of background checks on these men that you're sending into womens' restrooms? Because It seems like the kind of guy who would volunteer for this mission is probably the same type of guy that would have the title "youth minister."

You know, the kind of fella that looks a bit like the man in this picture:

This photo is of the group The USA Freedom Kids, who are so young, but already learning how to work the conservative grift.

The USA Freedom Kids, whose 15 minutes are already well past the sell-by date, are mainly known for this:







Now they've already started their own  panhandling Go Fund Me page to try and relieve some right-wing dupes out of their freedom-loving cash.

USA Freedom Kids

April 27 at 10:42am ·

When we see celebrities "threatening" to leave America if Donald J. Trump is elected, we say to them, in the best of spirits, good bye and good luck.
We've set up this GoFundMe page to raise money to offset their moving expenses when Trump is elected.

The radical anti-Trump celebrities renounced America, they’ve renounced all Americans and, whether or not they realize it, they’ve put a price on OUR country. The rest of us know that freedom is priceless.

A price on our country? What does that even mean? And what exactly is so "radical" about not wanting a thin-skinned tiny-handed juvenile game-show host and conspiracy theorist to be the leader of the Free World?  Wanting things to stay relatively normal is kind of the opposite of radicalism.

The USA Freedom Kids are seeking your support to help fund their travel plans.
Donations to our campaign will pay for moving boxes, moving trucks, freight shipping, and even one-way airplane tickets – FIRST CLASS – to any country they so choose. We’ll even provide limousine transportation to the airport; these are celebrities and they deserve to be treated as such.
We do have terms of service to which they’ll need to agree; including their consent to NOT return to the USA for the 8-year term that Donald Trump will be president.

So, once they raise all this money and trump is not elected President, what then? Or even if, God forbid, Trump does somehow win and no celebrities actually want to leave the country, or even if they do, they're celebrities and therefore pretty rich and don't need your handouts, what happens to all this money? Do the freedom-loving youngsters send it back? Hahahaha!!!  These little junior Palins aren't that dumb! If they do get any donations out of this, they're going to shout FREEEEDOMMMM all the way to the bank!


All this talk about theologians made me think of this song, so by way of apology for the freedom Kids video, here it is: