Why We Can't Have Nice Things - Episode One Million

Forbes Magazine decided to weigh in on the issue of student debt.

It may surprise you to find out that it was nauseating!

If $1.6 Trillion Of Student Loan Debt Is Forgiven, This Is What Happens

Ooh, ooh, I know!


Would it be something like this?




Oh no, wait. This is Forbes. So, let me guess.
Hmmmm, ordinary folks getting some kind of a break. . . I'm going to go ahead and guess "some kind of disaster?" Financial collapse. frogs. locusts - am I on the right track?

Here’s what you need to know.

Student Loan Forgiveness

Senator Bernie Sanders (I-VT), a 2020 presidential candidate, wants to forgive all $1.6 trillion of outstanding student loans, including both federal and private student loan debt. Sanders’ student loan forgiveness plan has no eligibility requirements; all 45 million student loan borrowers are eligible for student loan discharge.

Oh my GOD! No eligibility requirements? Like just any commoner could get bailed out? You don't even have to be a bank executive whose recklessness destroyed the economy? This program is just to help EVERYBODY? But how will we determine who is worthy?

Similarly, Senator Elizabeth Warren (D-MA), also a 2020 presidential candidate, introduced legislation earlier this year to cancel student loan debt for more than 95% of borrowers, and would entirely cancel student loan debt for more than 75% of Americans with student loan debt. Principally, Warren would cancel $50,000 in student loan debt for every person with household income under $100,000 and cancel substantial debt for every person with household income between $100,000 and $250,000. Like Sanders, Warren would fund student loan forgiveness through new taxes. 

T-t-t-taxes???

So, what would happen if all - or even most - of the $1.6 trillion of student loan debt is cancelled?

You mean besides this?

Sanders and Warren believe that among other benefits, universal student loan forgiveness would reduce the wealth gap in America, provide an economic stimulus to the middle class, increase home purchases, help start small businesses, and enable young people to start a family without a significant debt burden.

Oh NO!

Moody’s assessed the economic impact and found that student loan debt cancellation would result in:

• A modest increase in household consumption and investment;
• An improvement in small business and household formation; and
• Increased home ownership in the long-term.

So. . . pretty much what Warren and Sanders say would happen. Except you're trying to minimize the benefits.

However, Moody’s also found the economic impact would be relatively minimal, similar to a “tax-cut-like stimulus to economic activity” in the near-term.

And God knows Forbes is always quick to warn us of the pitfalls of reckless tax cuts!

Also, what are they basing this on?  The thing with tax cuts is that they primarily go to the rich who don't need them and aren't going to spend any more money because they were already able to spend as much as they want. Forgiving student debt is going to benefit working and middle class Americans. It will actually impacxt their lives. It will actually free up money that they can spend on consumer goods which does actually stimulate the economy. Now, I'm no fancy big-city economist, but it just seems like common sense that these two things would have very different effects.

 The report also found, among other impacts, the potential for:

• Increased moral hazard:

Oh for the love of. . . Moral Hazard? What kind of 19th Century bluenose wrote this article? Why surely, if the poor are not made to suffer the consequences of their poor decisions, one could hardly expect them to learn their moral lesson! To the workhouses with them!"

Weird how I don't remember hearing a single peep about "moral hazards" when we bailed out Wall Street. None of these puritan scolds had any worry about creating a moral hazard by bailing out farmers. No one said "if we bail them out, they'll never learn that they were foolish to vote for a dimwit like tRump. We must let them suffer the fallout of his idiotic tariff pissing war with China."

Increased moral hazard: For example, future student borrowers could be incentivized to borrow more student loan debt knowing that their debt will be forgiven.

Oh my God, it just got even dumber.

Part of Sanders' and Warren's plans is to make public universities tuition-free So there would be no need to go into debt unless you wanted to go to some fancy prestigious private institution.

Or a shitty one.

More student loan debt: Future student loan borrowers may borrow more student loan debt, but their student loan debt may not be forgiven, leaving them with potentially higher leverage.

Oh for fuck sake.

We can't forgive the student debt of those who owe it now because some future students might needlessly take out loans and then the debt forgiveness turns out to be like an Old Testament jubilee and then they will be stuck with their loans which is - - -  how is that worse than the current situation? At worst, these future students will be in the same boat as the current ones.

What else you got?

Lost Revenue: Since about 90% of student loan debt is federal student loans, the federal government would lose about $85 billion, or 0.4% of GDP, in forfeited student loan principal, interest and fees.

$85 billion. So. . . the Air Force maybe doesn't get a couple of those jets that don't work? Maybe we're only able to drone-bomb like 5 or 6 countries at any given time.
Also, I'm trying to remember - were these same objections raised about, say, the $700 billion TARP program? Or the one and a half TRILLION dollar tax cut that Trump pushed through?
Haha, no. Just kidding. Those sums were mere drops in the bucket. Pocket change. But $85 billion to help ordinary working stiffs? $85 billion that would be recouped in taxation of the financial industries?  * That is just too profligate to consider! We're not made of money, you know!

Muted Impact Due To Borrower Base: The majority of beneficiaries of universal student loan cancellation are high income earners, which could limit the economic benefit.

Yeah. . . I don't think that's true. Of course there are people who have student loans from Medical school or Law school, but I would wager the majority of the people struggling to pay off their student debt are ordinary desk jockeys, pencil pushers, office drones worker bees. Plus plenty of blue-collar, retail and service sector workers. I would almost say that I want to see your statistics for this claim, but I know I would die of boredom if I tried to plow through that shit.

* Your own article, just a couple paragraphs above, clearly stated "Sanders will fund his student loan forgiveness plan through a new tax on financial transactions, which he expects could raise more than $2 trillion over the next 10 years. The tax plan will include a 0.5% fee on all stock trades, a 0.1% fee on all bond trades and a 0.005% fee on all derivatives trades."  So let's not get all hand-wringy about supposed "lost revenue."

What are they so afraid of?

I honestly do not understand the right's obsession with "manliness." Somehow, in their minds, the US is always experiencing a crisis-level loss of masculinity.

Which seems quite odd given the fact that you can't drive more than a mile through the retail district of any city or town without seeing at least one MMA gym. Sports like football and hockey seem to be as popular as ever, as does professional "wrestling." Nearly every movie in the theaters these days is about powerful masculine heroes using brute strength and violent power to overcome their foes.

But yet, they seem terrified that our culture is somehow phasing out the idea of masculinity.
 For example, here's a couple things that came across my Twitter recently.

The testosterone is being sucked from our men right before our eyes 🤦🏻‍♀️

pic.twitter.com/SMM4FLgq8K

— Ashley StClair 🇺🇸 (@stclairashley) November 24, 2019

Because God forbid a father play with his daughter! Or maybe that's his son, either way who cares? Well, I guess this Ashley St Clair person does. Because somehow it's her business if someone is not conforming to traditional gender roles? And, it may surprise you to learn, she's apparently pretty upset that some kids are trans.

Your child is not trans because he put on a dress or tried on makeup.

My little brother used to eat grass as a kid but my mom didn’t call him a cow and send him to the slaughterhouse.

She told him to cut the shit & stop eating grass.

Be better parents!

— Ashley StClair 🇺🇸 (@stclairashley) August 16, 2019

And she starts out like maybe she actually understands something. She's right that putting on a dress or trying on makeup is not going to "make" your kid "turn" trans. Hell, if putting on makeup made you trans, I would have never gotten through the 80's as a cis male.

But her flirtation with reality doesn't last long. Her next sentence demonstrates her belief that being transgendered is somehow analogous to the weird things that kids do when they're little, like maybe eating grass, then she apparently thinks that the way to stop a kid from "becoming" trans is for the parent to tell them to knock it off. Problem solved!

Oh, and also, the existence of trans kids is a "movement" to be fought against for some reason.

South Carolina lawmakers want to ban minors from getting transgender surgery or hormone therapy

Shoutout to South Carolina for protecting our children— first with strict abortion laws and now leading the fight against the trans kids movement!https://t.co/Lj07uYqQAu

— Ashley StClair 🇺🇸 (@stclairashley) November 27, 2019

That seems to be a common idea on the right, that rather than  LGBT people  becoming more visible, less likely to stay closeted, that  what is happening is an increase in the number of gay people or trans people or that being gay, bi, trans, etc is some sort of a new invention. "We didn't used to have all these gay guys around in my day." Yeah, you did. They just kept their identities hidden.

Then there was this:

Daily Wire host criticizes Mr. Rogers for corrupting boys with his "metrosexual wimpiness," adding "if you really want to have a beautiful day in the neighborhood, call John Wayne and tell him to bring his guns" pic.twitter.com/cEhDqY7e9V

— Jason Campbell (@JasonSCampbell) November 25, 2019

Did I click on the video to hear what this tool was actually saying? I did not. And I would not recommend that you do either unless you like the thought of your cranium imploding.

But holy fuck, now they have a problem with Mr. Rogers? MISTER ROGERS?
All Mr. Rogers ever did was try to make kids happy. And this guy has a problem with that because he didn't teach boys to be violent. What has to go wrong in your life to make you think like that?

And what is the consequence that they are so afraid of? If boys are not trained up to love boxing and hate the ballet, what is it that they think is going to happen, exactly? Do they think that heterosexuality is something that needs to be taught? That femininity is contagious? And okay, let's say your son grows up to be a florist instead of the Marlboro Man. So what? If that's what he likes, how is it any skin off your nose? Wouldn't the much worse case scenario be that your son wants nothing more to be a ballet-watching, art-loving florist but you've got him so scared about his masculine identity that he forces himself to become a tobacco-chewing football-watching welder? I don't have kids, myself so ,aybe some of you parents can enlighten me, wouldn't you want your kid to be happy? Shouldn't that be the main thing?

I guess not for these nuts. I guess there are acceptable and don-acceptable ways of being happy.

And it's not like these two are some kind of outlier kooks. I mean, they are definitely kooks, but they are not unusual on the right. Just Google the phrase "Christian Masculinity." you'll find plenty of articles like this:

Christian Masculinity and Why It’s More Important Than Ever Before

Masculinity is something we’re seeing less and less of in today’s world. Christian masculinity is no exception. This is becoming a very serious issue

or this

Christianity’s Masculinity Crisis

WILLIAM KILPATRICK


It might seem odd to classify gender theory as a national security threat. After all, if a woman feels she was meant to be a man, there seems to be no reason why her personal desires should have any impact on national policy.

Here’s where the national security threat comes in. If there ever was a time when males in Western societies needed to be unconfused about their gender, this is it. We’re surrounded by enemies and potential enemies who are unapologetic about their gender identity and are quite prepared to rule over those weaker cultures that prefer appeasement to confrontation.

Islam, which is a hypermasculine religion, is the world’s fastest growing religion.  Indeed its appeal to basic masculine psychology is one of the chief reasons for its success. 

Ah, I see the problem here. If Christian men don't get a whole lot manlier, they might start, I don't know, turning the other cheek or something. Shit, they might beat their swords into plowshares if we don't watch it! God, what if they decide to love their enemies, or bless those that curse you? Oh, Jesus must be so upset at these wimps!


At least some churches get it. The churches that hold fight clubs in their basements. Which, yes, is a real thing because if there's one thing God loves, it's for one of his children to beat another of his children into bloody unconsciousness.

In Jesus' Name, Throw Punches: 'Fight Church' Christian Ministries Believe in Fight Clubs

Christian ministries across the country today who have embraced the brutal sport of Mixed Martial Arts have ignited a firestorm among men of the cloth.

But that hasn’t stopped pastors across the country from using fight clubs to spread the word of God, attract new members and even try to mold and reshape the modern Christian man.

Although, no church really gets it as much as this one:

Church criticized for promoting AR-15 raffle days after Las Vegas massacre

Now THAT'S the kind of masculinity Jesus wants to see!

Happy Hanksgiving

Sunday Morning Playlist

Today's category, it being Sunday and some of y'all needing to get some religion, is songs that are not gospel songs but make reference to Jesus.

Responsibilities

Marriage comes with certain responsibilities. For instance, it is my wife's responsibility to ensure that I don't leave the house looking like a complete twit.

Without eternal vigilance, this could absolutely happen here.

Also, she is responsible for making sure that one of us pays the bills so that we don't have to live in a cardboard box. At the movies, it's her responsibility to tell me when the scary part is over so I can safely open my eyes. And she is responsible for preventing me going to the SPCA and coming home with a dozen kittens and a dozen puppies.(she knew who she was getting when she married me.)  And I thought that was pretty much the extent of her marital responsibilities. But apparently, I missed one. Apparently, it is the responsibility of the wife to ensure that her husband does not associate with known sex traffickers.
Which, I guess, if left to his own devices, any man would do? Apparently, it's pretty easy to accidentally stumble into the apartment of a pedophile pimp and just decide that it's too inconvenient to leave so you stay the night and then Scandal!

Well, according to the Spectator's Toby Young anyway.

NO SACRED COWS

Prince Andrew should have married someone like my wife 

Toby Young  

Yeahhhhh, that's the problem with Prince Andrew. He didn't marry well. You know, you meet someone, you fall in love, you get married, and you never stop to think "is she the kind of woman who will keep me from spending the night in the apartment of a procurer of underage sex slaves?" You know how it is, when you're in love, it seems like she can do no wrong, next thing you know, you're waking up in Epstein's guest room and you think you may have accidentally committed a sex crime of some type and you're all "Dammit, Eileen! Why didn't you stop me?"

Like many people, I watched Prince Andrew’s Newsnight meltdown with mounting disbelief. Why had he agreed to do it? It wasn’t as if the general public was clamouring for an answer about what he was doing on the night he’d been accused of having sex with a 17-year-old victim of Jeffrey Epstein.

The day after Prince Andrew’s interview was broadcast I got a call from Good Morning Britain. Did I fancy coming on to defend Prince Andrew in a debate? Instead of saying no, I started to discuss what I might say. If he believes himself to be innocent and has a good alibi, as he appears to have, it’s kind of understandable that he would want to clear his name. 

Because I guess in the British legal system, as long as the perpetrator believes himself to be innocent, no crime has been committed.

At this point, I’d pretty much talked myself into it, but before saying yes I glanced up at my wife who was sitting opposite me. Caroline was shaking her head furiously and running her finger back and forth across her throat. ‘Can I call you back in a minute?’ I said.
When I hung up, I got the force nine gale. ‘Are you fucking insane? He’s the most reviled man in Britain.’

See, now if Prince Andrew had been married to someone like this Caroline, instead of Fergie, she would have told him "are you crazy? Epstein is the most vile scumbag in America. You can't go hang out at his apartment!" And that would have been that!

‘Are you fucking insane? He’s the most reviled man in Britain.’
‘But I feel a bit sorry for him. He’s being subjected to the Two Minutes Hate and I know what that’s like. Literally no one is defending him apart from Fergie.’

Oh. Yeah. It's just awful how no one wants to defend a sex offender who victimized teen girls. It's really hard to understand.

‘Yeah, and there’s a good reason for that. Honestly, you amaze me sometimes. It’s as if alienating 99 per cent of the country isn’t enough for you. You have to hunt down that last 1 per cent and make sure you piss them off, too.’

Okay, I don't know anything about this Toby Young character, and I didn't really care to. But now, I really need to find out what this man did to piss off 99 percent of Britain. But let's put a pin in that for the moment.

I called the booker back and politely declined. But this exchange left me feeling even more sympathetic towards Andrew. If only he’d married someone level-headed and sensible like I did.

Really. The person to whom you are sympathetic in this situation is not the victim, Virginia Giuffre, but the perpetrator, Prince Andrew. Really.

And yes, again, the problem with Andrew is not that he associates with a pedophile pimp. The problem is not that he forced himself on an underage girl at least three times. No, the problem is that he didn't marry someone level-headed and sensible enough to warn him off doing those things.

Okay, so let's circle back to the whole pissing off 99% of Britain thing. I can probably guess why people hate him, I already hate him and I've only just met him, but maybe a quick Googling will shed some light on this.


Yep!

Here are a couple things he tweeted about his Top Chef co-host Padma Lakshmi:

Eeeeewwwww!

And not just hers, this dude seems to think he is entitled to comment on everyone's bosoms.

What else has he found appropriate to post publicly on Twitter? Glad you asked!

Just think of what this sick twitch would have put out there had he been married to a less level-headed and sensible woman!

This wasn’t the first time Caroline had saved my bacon. When she learned that my career had been derailed because of sophomoric things I’d said on social media, she literally snatched the phone out of my hands and deleted the Twitter app. Admittedly, she did let me reinstall it about a week later, but only after I’d promised never to tweet after I’d had a glass of wine. 

Jesus Christ, this is you sober?

I'm  not sure Caroline is really fulfilling all her wifely responsibilities after all.