Father of the Year

Micheal Lohan is a scumbag.

The kind of scumbag that looks at his daughter's personal problems and thinks "this oughta be worth some dough."

Here's a picture of him creeping out Kim Kardashian.

Do you know how hard it is to creep out someone who lives with Bruce Jenner?


Anyway, according to the New York Post which, I know, is not exactly a reputable source, but in this case I believe them, Mike has been somehow taping phone conversations between daughter Lindsey and her mother. And trying to sell them.

[Micheal Lohan] at first demanded $100,000 for his story and secret recordings of daughter Lindsay and wife Dina. . . Lohan had been shopping his tapes around TV networks but was turned down, and eventually struck a deal with RadarOnline.com to reveal the tapes for free, followed by a paid interview.

Michael told us that a six-figure demand for the tapes "was a complete lie," but when asked if he was paid for his interview, he said, "That's in the hands of my lawyers. They deal with that."

translation: Hell yeah, I got paid!

So when you get caught doing something that scummy, what do you do? Apologize? Nooooo. Not if you're Mike Lohan. If you're Mike, you go with the self-righteous routine.

He insisted, "This isn't about money or getting paid, it's about saving my daughter."

But hey, I ain't saving her for free, you know! Daddy gots to get paid!

You want to know how serious Mike is about the daughter-saving benefits of releasing her private phone conversations? here's what he has to say about Lindsey's comments regarding her parents' troubled marriage:

"That's a lie. I guess Lindsay is on more drugs than I thought to say something like that. Now I'm going to release more recordings that prove everything she is saying is nothing more than a bunch of lies.

Wow. Seriously, Mike, have you ever heard the expression "be the bigger man?" Just be the bigger man and walk away from the fight? Honestly, you're really the one sounding like a teenage girl whose boyfriend was just stolen by that bitch Megan who thinks she's all that cuz she's a cheerleader and her mom is rich and bought her a car for her birthday, but she's such a slut, I swear to God!

Oh, and speaking of God,

"No wonder why God is taking her entire career away from her," Michael continued. "Because she's forsaken everything He's given her and she's done nothing but misuse all the gifts she's given."

Yeah, seeing as how you're one of the "gifts" the man upstairs has given her, I hope she got the receipt.

See, I don't think it's God that's taking her career away. I think it's the drugs and booze.
And also the utter lack of any discernible talent, but mostly the drugs and booze. And it's probably not God who drover her to drugs and booze. I don't think God cheated on her mother, I don't think God was the alcoholic, unstable male presence in her life. And I''m pretty sure that God isn't feuding publicly with her on the interwebs.
Those are all things that describe you, Micheal. Look, this is what your own daughter has to say about you:

He's a deadbeat dad. He's disgusting to do this. He doesn't deserve attention. He needs help...

"She (Dina) blames herself for staying (with) him for so long, I'd beg her not to leave (because) he always threatened to kill her if she did...after disappearing, then coming home after being gone for several days while cheating on my mother&abusing substances... I haven't had a real relationship (with) Michael Sr. in years. That is the truth."

So, yeah. You're not helping. seriously, all you can do is make things worse. I think you ought to just leave the poor girl alone.
Here are a couple of issues with which you can occupy yourself.

LINDSAY Lohan's sleazebag dad, Michael Lohan, is in trouble again -- this time for allegedly threatening to kill his fiancée and himself when she tried to dump him. Michael was quietly arrested on April 6 for a phone threat cops said he placed to off-again, on-again gal pal Erin Muller, 34, on March 18.

And:

He couldn't have picked a better time for the alleged threat, because terms of his parole ended on Feb. 7. He's due in family court in Westbury today, when he'll have to explain why he's behind in child support -- by $12,000, sources told The Post.

So, go ahead and have the last word, Mike.

"I have more recordings which will further back up what I have said so far. I will release them. I will not stop until Lindsay goes to rehab."

And by "goes to rehab" I of course mean"pays the blackmail money."

Hmm, anything you can say to make it worse?

When you hug her she's like, vacant inside. When she kisses or holds me I get chills, and not in a good way-in a bad way."

Eeewww, when you are speaking of your daughter, you shouldn't have to clarify that the chills she is giving you are "not in a good way." Jeezus, it's not like we think you're John Philips. . . . Ohhhh, shit. You are John Philips, aren't you?

Micheal Lohan

Micheal Lohan, seen here with Stephen Baldwin at an assface convention.

Listen, Mike. Whatever problems your daughter has (and Hoo Lordies, she's got plenty!) are at least 50% your fault. Here is a list of possible courses of action you might take to try and make things slightly better.

1) hang your head in shame.

2) hang yourself in shame.

3) stay the hell out of the public eye.

4) see #2.

But no, you've chosen to actively make things worse. What the hell would motivate you to post shit like this on the interwebs?

While I was enthused that Ali was with Lindsay, rather than SaMANtha, I am torn to see that SaMANtha has once again manipulated Lindsay into leaving her little sister in LA, only to join SaMANtha on another DJ gig in Boston.

Good God, you're clever! I see what you did there, emphasizing the word "MAN" in Samantha to imply that women who are attracted to other women are not really women at all! Give me a minute to roll on the floor. . . .

. . .Ok, I'm back. Ya know what,here's something you might not have thought of. One of those women who loves other women is, um, YOUR DAUGHTER, YOU MORON! Openly mocking your daughter's sexuality in a public forum, hmmm. . . I'm not a father myself, but I'm pretty sure that's the sort of thing that would be described as poor parenting. In fact, I'm pretty sure that fathers are not supposed to humiliate their daughters with open displays of hostility. Well, at least you didn't belittle her spirituality. What? Really? No I haven't seen London newspaper "The daily Mail" recently, why? What does it say?

Lindsay Lohan wants to convert to Judaism to prove her love for Samantha Ronson, according to Page Six:

Lohan flew to London to attend the bar mitzvah of Ronson's half-brother, Joshua. "She's explored the Church of Scientology, she tried kabbalah, and now this. I think it's just another phase," her estranged father Michael Lohan, a born-again minister, told London's Daily Mail.

Ohhh, Mike! Why are you talking to the press? Seriously, just crawl back under whatever rock you crawled out from and leave the poor kid alone.

When a mother or father sees their child in turmoil (losing weight, not working, and purportedly cutting herself) are we supposed to stand by , remain silent and pretend it isn't happening? Or are we suppose to step to the plate and not care what people think, and do something about it?
Well, as you can see, I'm not going to sit back and let it slide.

No, really, let it slide. Seriously. You're not helping.

let me say that I never took a penny for my blog or anything I ever did for any of my children. I did what I did, out of love and concern, regardless of any of your opinions. I did it to help them, advance their careers and give them hope. I taught them that anything is possible if you really want it enough, and that when your heart is in the right place, God will make it all happen!

Um, God called, he said to leave him out of this. He's not taking the fall for this one.

For the record, when it comes to sexual preference, I am not biased.

I don't think you understand what the word "biased" means

.

I am asking everyone out their to intervene in every way possible to help Lindsay, and quite possibly, save her life. Help this wonderful, good hearted and gifted young lady to see what SaMANtha is doing to her and how she is destroying her life.

Yeah, enlist the general public's help in destroying your daughter's relationship. Goddamn, you are one class act!
P.S. I wonder why Lindsey doesn't like men? Just saying.