Historical Revisionists

"Lady Theocracy"


Apparently, once one wing-nut website gets your e-mail address, they all get it. Now I'm receiving messages from something called "One News Now.com." The latest is entitled "A Christian Nation?" by someone named David Limbaugh, whom i can only assume is the ignoramus son of ignoramus Rush Limbaugh. In it Mr Limbaugh concludes that

"if we are talking about the ideals that led to the very colonization of this land, our declaration of independence from Britain, and the formulation of our Constitution, then the answer is certainly "yes." In the words of professor John Eidsmoe, "If by the term Christian nation one means a nation that was founded on biblical values, then in that sense the United States may truly be called a Christian nation."

Really? well, someone forgot to tell John Adams (link)

Let's take a look at Biblical values as opposed to American ones and see how well they match up, shall we?


Let's use the 10 Commandments. Can't get much more biblical than the Big 10, right?

#1--Thou Shalt have no other Gods
In America, we have freedom of religion. You can worship God or Allah or Buddha or Jah Rastafari or no one at all, and its perfectly legal!

#2--Thou shalt not take the Name of the Lord thy God in Vain
In America, we have freedom of speech. You can say Oh My God! or God Damn it! with impunity!

#3--Remember the Sabbath Day to keep it Holy
No laws in America about working on the Sabbath. Even godly companies like Wal-Mart require their employees to work on Sunday and no one seems bothered by this.

#4--Honor thy Father and Mother, etc.
Hmm, back to freedom of speech again. I can stand in the public square and declare to all who will listen that my father, W.L. Chaos, is the biggest weenie in the world (which he is not, my old man can totally beat up your old man) and face absolutely no sanctions.

#5--Thou Shalt Not Kill
Okay. Here's a law we do have. Murder is definitely illegal. But seriously, has their ever been a society which did not outlaw murder? Did the pagan Romans or the pantheistic Messopotamians, or the polytheistic Hindus of India ever allow murder? The banning of murder is a universal value that all cultures, religions, and societies share. So while it is one of the values of "Judeo-Christian" culture, it is certainly not exclusive to the followers of Jaweh or Christ.

#6--Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery
No laws against adultery in America. Thomas Jefferson made boingy-boingy with his slaves. Ben Franklin poked every woman he could get his hands on.

#7--Thou Shalt Not Steal
Like the proscription on murder, the illegality of theft is something that is common to every civilized culture.

#8--Thou Shalt not Bear False Witness Against Thy Neighbor
Ok, we do have laws forbidding perjury. (Although we learned in Sunday School that #8 forbids lying in general, which is not illegal in these United States, but let's give Old Dave this one)

#9--Thou Shalt not Covet Thy Neighbor's Wife
In the US of A, not only can you covet her, you can have an affair with her if she's willing. She can even divorce your lame-o neighbor Flanders and marry you if she wishes.

#10--Thou shalt not Covet Thy Neighbor's House or Field, etc.
Any laws against coveting? Any laws which forbid any thoughts of any kind? No? I didn't think so.

So let's tally up the final score, shall we?
American laws are in agreement with the 10 commandments in exactly 3 out of 10 instances (and that's with the most generous interpretations) Sounds like a pretty Un-Christian society to me.

But wait. The 10 Commandments are in the Old Testament. Let's see what Jesus himself had to say about His values:





Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God. [Matthew 5:9]

So, if we want to be a country based on Christian values, we should make peace. Hmm, I don't think I can remember a time when we weren't at war with someone or other.

Resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also. [Matthew 5:39]

I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despite-fully use you, and persecute you; [Matthew 5:44]

If we want to be a Christian-values society, I have to think that this maxim would apply even to people like Al Quaeda.

If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to cast a stone at her. [John 8:7] Do not judge, lest
you too be judged.

So it looks like a Christian value based society might have to be non-judgemental, even of **gasp** the GAYS!

Truly, I say unto you, it will be hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. [Matthew 19:23]
You cannot serve both God and Money. [Matthew 6:24.]

UhOh!

So it seems pretty clear that the US was Not founded on Christian principles, and that our laws are obviously NOT based on the 10 commandments.
So, Mr Limbaugh, what other evidence do you cite to support your supposition that the US is a "Christian Nation?

Much of our Bill of Rights is biblically based, as well, and the Ten Commandments and further laws set out in the book of Exodus form the basis of our Western law.

Geez, You weren't paying attention at all, were you?

Tax Day

This comic stolen without permission from "Dinasour Comics" http://www.qwantz.com/archive/001429.html
That's right, stolen! I could do hard time! I'm a BAAAAAAAAD MAN!

Florida

Professor and Mrs Chaos are on vacation this week in Florida. We will return to the Chaos compound with all new irritants on Friday.

MUSIC BREAK

The Black Lips
present:
Oh, Katrina

"Katrina" - Black Lips
Uploaded by vicemagazine

The American family Association

Somehow, these loonies got my e-mail address, so my inbox keeps getting filled up with stuff like this:

'Bisexual' teacher invites students to same-sex ceremony

I'm not sure why the word "bisexual" is in quotes. Maybe they think that bisexuality is fictional? At any rate, the headline is clearly meant to shock and horrify the reader. It seems to be taken for granted that anyone on the mailing list will be terrified by the thought of students possibly seeing two men kiss!

The Article Begins:

A self-proclaimed bisexual male teacher in New York has invited his seventh-grade students and their parents to witness his commitment ceremony to another man.

Okay, what's with the "self-proclaimed"? What is that? Is there some dispute as to the legitimacy of the guy's designation as a switch-hitter? Is there some organization that's supposed to officially verify his status?

The New York Times reports 32-year-old Chance Nalley gave slips of paper to his entire seventh-grade class at Columbia Secondary School, inviting them to the upcoming ceremony

Frank Russo of the American Family Association of New York calls the Times' report biased. "If a secularist teacher in a school invited his or her students over to a ritual of initiation into becoming a Christian and invited his students to attend this, I could just imagine the hullabaloo that you'd see," he contends, "and The New York Times would not report it in the same fashion as it reported this."

Okay, so the secularist teacher would have to invite his students to the ritual, AND invite them to attend? That's how the scenario would work? And there is no greater evidence of the Times bias than the hullabaloo imagined by Frank Russo. That does it for me, cancel my subscription! Gosh, I hope frank Russo never imagines me having an affair. My wife would divorce me!
Clearly the Times would not report the imaginary occurrence in the same way as the actual one. How do I know? Because Frank Russo has declared it to be so!

Russo admits he struggles to understand Nalley's motives behind the invitations.

Yeah, I'm guessing that Frank struggles to understand a lot of things.






"

For a teacher to invite his students -- seventh graders, typically 12-years-old, possibly 13 -- to attend a gay marriage is mind-boggling to me that he would do that."

One imagines that Frank's mind is often boggled. Seriously Frank, what you don't understand would fill the Encyclopedia Brittanica.

The family advocate is also encouraging parents not to take their children to a ceremony that he believes "honors" a gender identity disorder.

Gender Identity Disorder? Those are awfully big words, Frank. I'm pretty sure you're not qualified to make that diagnosis. How can I be so sure ? Well, for starters, you got it wrong.
here is what WebMD has to say about Gender Identity disorder.

Adults with gender identity disorder often display the following symptoms:

• Desire to live as a person of the opposite sex.
• Desire to be rid of their own genitals.
• Dressing and behaving in a manner typical of the opposite sex.
• Withdrawal from social interaction and activity.
• Feelings of isolation, depression, and anxiety.

See? Nothing in there about bisexuality. In fact, a commitment ceremony is kind of the opposite of "withdrawal from social interaction."
How about this? Instead of encouraging parents to keep their kids away from the ceremony, how about you have a nice cool glass of shut the fuck up, and the parents can decide for themselves whether to be hateful and bigoted? Hmm? How would that be? Nice glass of shut the fuck up? Doesn't that sound nice, hmm? Shut the fuck up?