Monday, August 18, 2014

Shitty People Saying Shitty Things

Seems like the last few days have been more-than-usually full of shitty people saying shitty things. Whether they're saying shitty things about Micheal brown being murdered or Robin Williams killing himself, there seems to be a contest among right-wing commentators to see who can say the shittiest thing about something tragic.

And, sure, everyone occasionally says something shitty, or does something shitty, but honest to God, you could spend the day swimming laps in a hog lagoon and then eat feces sandwiches for dinner and not approach the level of shittiness that it takes to take cheap shots at the memory of a beloved entertainer whose life has just ended tragically. Or to criticize a group of bereaved people for not grieving correctly when a member of their community is mowed down in the prime of life.

But for some reason, this shitty comment has been getting a lot of attention:

Fox’s Keith Ablow: Michelle Obama Could Stand to ‘Drop a Few’ Pounds


I'm not sure why this particular shitty comment has been garnering so much attention, because right-wing idiots have been trotting this out for years, ever since Ms Obama decided to make childhood obesity her issue. I think it was Rush Limbaugh who first attacked her for this.
Now, a semi-normal person, if he had an irrational hatred of the First Lady, might criticize her from the perspective of "oh, she thinks she's so great, she thinks that just because she is in perfect physical condition, she can tell the rest of us how to raise our sugar-cured piglets." Or whatever. But, no. Rush decided to take this weird approach of pretending that she has no room to criticize other people's weight, because she herself is supposedly a big fat fatty fatfat.
And one of these idiots coined the term "Moochelle," which caught on in spite of its complete detachment from any reality. Do a Google search for the word "Moochelle." You Know what you get?

About 107,000 results (0.63 seconds) 


Yeah, I don't get it.
 I mean, if Michelle Obama did happen to be a heavy-set woman, this would be a cheap, shabby, juvenile and mean taunt, but come on, look at her!


She looks like a goddamned Olympic athlete!

http://www.theblaze.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/Michelle-Obama-flexing.png


If you blurred out her face and told people that this was a photo of the captain of the Women's World Cup team, or the new starting forward for the Atlanta Dream, people would believe you.

I mean, does she look remotely cow-like to anyone?
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2009/11/02/article-1224723-065A9647000005DC-699_468x353.jpg

If you wanted to compare her to some sort of animal, I might go with giraffe, since she is rather tall and quite slender. Maybe you could get some kind of laughs from that comparison? I don't know, but Moochelle? How much blinding, irrational rage do you have to have for the woman to look at someone who is the very picture of physical fitness and star making cow noises? How far off the rails do you have to have gone to convince yourself that Michelle Fucking Obama is overweight? Jeezus, she could be the third Williams sister!

 

Oh, maybe she is!

So, in the spirit of the Rush Limbaughs of the world, I would now like to present snarky comments about past prominent persons in American History.


http://www-tc.pbs.org/wgbh/americanexperience/media/uploads/films/heroImages/eisenhower_film_landing.jpg 

Geez, Ike, why don't you control that unruly mop on your head?
You're the President, for God's sake, not a Beatle! Buy a comb, why dontcha?

http://colincastlebooks.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/W.H.-Taft.jpg 

Dang, look at this scrawny little wimp. How is America supposed to project an image of strength with this 98-pound weakling at the helm? 

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/1/1b/Abraham_Lincoln_November_1863.jpg

Ooh, look at me, I won the Civil War! I freed the slaves! Sounds like someone's overcompensating for his Napoleon complex! Get over it, shorty!

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4_FNlWAai7dtyLukcbSHNJDH01-4aXx5TichyHezVmEtnpbiegCIeXGsKUQ7eaNarAW5yItiyKU5RdgbnjnNAxE-w0-bw-erhHj-eIgwB547r9n9YYB8hv2Bs5LskLd4sW_3ThDSki5tz/s400/chrheritage_jefferson-franklin.jpg 

Oh, man, look at these two prudes! I bet neither of these Puritans has ever gotten laid!


Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Bizarre videos

Presented without comment: enjoy the madness!




Okay, one comment. I'll have what she's having!



Monday, August 11, 2014

Can we just have this guy committed already?

I don't know how crazy Ron Paul actually is. I suspect some of  the insanity might be an act to appeal to a certain demographic that can easily be convinced to buy gold because FEMA is gonna put you in a camp and force-feed you flouride!!1!

But either way, if he's going to keep playing the part of a bug-eyed lunatic, can't we just fit him for a straightjacket and toss him into a padded cell?

Ron Paul Says U.S. 'Likely Hiding Truth' About MH17 Crash

 | By






http://media.giphy.com/media/v2PtWeyQMxbIQ/giphy.gif 

Because of course they are, just like they've been hiding the truth about Area 51 for all these years.

"The U.S. government has grown strangely quite on the accusation that it was Russia or her allies that brought down the Malaysian airliner with a buck anti-aircraft missile [sic]," the former GOP presidential candidate wrote. "The little that we have heard from U.S. intelligence is that it has no evidence that Russia was involved. Yet the war propaganda were successful in convincing the American public that it was all Russia’s fault."

I've read that paragraph like 10 times now, and I'm still not sure what point he's making about whose propaganda, other than maybe  "YOUR GOVERNMENT IS LYING TO YOU! WAKE UP, SHEEPLE!!!"


http://www.theargus.ca/wp-content/themes/wp-davinci_basic/scripts/timthumb.php?src=http://www.theargus.ca/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/ski-ninjas-1-copy-web.png&w=610&h=305&zc=1

Also, "strangely silent?' The administration has not really been all that silent about pinning at least some of the blame on Russia:

Do a quick Google search for "Obama + Russia + Flight 17" and see what pops up:

US Sees Evidence of Russian Links to Jet's Downing - The ...

www.nytimes.com/.../malaysia-airlines-plane-ukraine....
The New York Times
Jul 17, 2014 - President Obama pointed to the Kremlin's role in arming rebels in the area of the attack and ...

'Culpable' in Malaysia Airlines Flight 17 Downing - Wall ...

online.wsj.com/.../pentagon-russia-sending-heavier-...
The Wall Street Journal
Jul 25, 2014 - White House Says Putin 'Culpable' in Malaysia Airlines Flight 17 Downing

Obama blames Russia, Putin for flight MH17 shooting - The ...

timesofindia.indiatimes.com › World
The Times of India
Jul 18, 2014 - WASHINGTON: US President Barack Obama on Friday squarely blamed Russia and its President Putin for the outrageous shooting down of ..

So I don't really get what "strange silence" he's referring to.


"It’s hard to believe that the U.S., with all of its spy satellites available for monitoring everything in Ukraine that precise proof of who did what and when is not available," he added. 

Really? Hard to believe, is it?  Hard to believe that the US Intelligence community might have missed something? You know, the crack group that didn't foresee the fall of the Berlin Wall?  The guys who took decades to figure out that maybe Aldrich Ames was up to something fishy? Those guys?

I will never understand why people who hold as a fundamental belief that government is inherently incompetent and can do nothing right also somehow believe that the CIA/NSA/etc are omniscient, omnipotent entities capable of pulling off the wildest of conspiracies.


"Questions do remain regarding the serious international incident," Paul wrote last week of the MH17 crash. "Too bad we can’t count on our government to just tell us the truth and show us the evidence. I’m convinced that it knows a lot more than it’s telling us."

 Seriously, can we just have this guy committed already?

http://images.sodahead.com/polls/002446193/4419246387_ron20paul20straight20jacket_answer_2_xlarge.jpeg

Sunday, August 10, 2014

Stupid or Liar? You decide!

I don't know whether Roger F. Noriega is a stupid man.

He does have a Bachelor's Degree from something called Washburn University, so I'm guessing he's not actually stupid. But it's hard to tell.

There are two schools of Right-Wing punditry, the stupid school ( Tucker Carlson, Sarah Palin, everyone on Fox & Friends) and the dishonest school (Charles Krauthammer, George Will, etc). And of course, there are those with one foot in each category (lookin' at you, Sean Hannity!)

So it's hard to say whether Roger F. Noriega was being stupid, dishonest or both when he belched up this column, printed in the Atlanta Journal Constitution under the headline


Border Crisis is Obama's


WASHINGTON — Try as he might, President Obama cannot escape responsibility for the debacle at the U.S. southwest border, caused, in part, by his administration’s mismanagement.

Now, if one were trying to do actual legitimate journalism here, one might point out an example or two of the President trying to evade responsibility, but Noriega is from the American Enterprise Institute whose motto is "Facts? We don't have to show you any stinking facts!"

Until Congress returns next month, he should use the tools he has to secure the border and to discourage illegal crossings. One can only hope that he will not take unilateral actions that might make matters worse.

So, he should act on his own without Congress, but hopefully not take any unilateral action.

https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/56360704/h976DEBD1/


 After all, the current crisis has been stoked by loose talk in Washington about a possible “amnesty” of illegal immigrants, stoked by Obama’s 2012 decision to suspend deportation of youth with long-standing ties to the United States, and news that young children arriving at the border were being released pending hearings.

Okay. Except the "loose talk" has come from Republican scare-mongers who scream "Amnesty!!!" every time anyone suggests maybe treating immigrants with some human decency.
And the children being given hearings is due to the Obama Administration enforcing a law signed by president George W. Bush.
Other than that, though, sure. Clearly all Obama's fault!


https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/4721232128/h15BC0ACB/


  During a visit to Washington last month, Honduran President Juan Orlando Hernandez cited “ambiguities” about U.S. border enforcement that are part of the “pull factor” encouraging people to rush across the U.S. border.

 Sure. Because, obviously these children are leaving the only home they've ever known, traveling 1,200 miles across a rapist-infested desert clinging to a train that they themselves refer to as the "Death Train" because of an "ambiguity" in US Border enforcement. Sure, that's probably it. It couldn't be the fact that their hometowns have become so overrun by gangs, cartels, and assorted murderers that the Death Train seems like a slightly safer alternative to staying in their homes.

 Hernandez also explained the “push factor”: Narco-violence that sows insecurity and deadly street gangs preying on youth in his country and neighboring El Salvador and Guatemala. Unfortunately, these are poor nations with governments unable or unwilling to deal with these challenges.

Are you even going to try to find a way that that's Obama's fault?
No?
You got nothing?

Okay, carry on!


Refugee advocates contend that more than half of those arriving in recent months have bona fide claims that require a hearing under U.S. and international law.
That is contradicted by a Border Patrol survey in May that found that nearly all of those interviewed made the trek because of recent rumors of leniency. According to sources in Central America, so-called “coyotes” — criminals who make their living smuggling people — have been advertising lax U.S. border enforcement to drum up business.

Oh my God, how many times does that need to be debunked?
Do you really think these desperate children are, in between ducking bullets and evading kidnappers. thumbing through the local paper looking for articles describing the state of border enforcement in El Paso?
It's interesting that you don't provide a link to this survey, because from what I hear, most of these kids haven't heard these rumors until their journey is well underway.

Your stupidity  Makes my brain hurt.


 Part of the initial problem in responding to the border crisis was the administration’s overly broad application of a 2008 anti-human-trafficking law that requires a complicated hearing on an immigrant’s asylum pleas.

Overly broad how?
And seriously, complicated? Is that really the problem here? Are the hearings too "complicated" for immigration judges? Who have law degrees? And specialize in exactly these kinds of cases? Really? Oh, no, these hearings are just too darn complicated, let's send these children back to their deaths. That's much simpler!

The current crisis is fueled primarily by smuggling, not trafficking. Border personnel should be allowed to use their experience and discretion to screen for legitimate refugee or trafficking cases.

Yes, just like street cops get to use their discretion whether to jail someone. It's not like there are trials  and judges and what-not. That would be too "complicated!"

 Of course, bona fide refugees in U.S. territory must be attended to lawfully. However, the U.N. should work with local governments to offer relief to refugees in their country of origin, rather than wait for them to run the gauntlet to the U.S. border.

And since Barack Obama is totally in charge of the UN, this is clearly another failure! Impeach!!!
I mean, he must be, right, seeing as how this is "his" crisis!

One thing that all can agree upon is that no one is better off risking the thousand-mile trek through Mexico, during which many migrants are abused, robbed, raped or killed.
If the perception of lax enforcement lures people to risk life and limb, that must change immediately. Republicans made these arguments while crafting a tough measure that would strengthen border enforcement, make it easier to deport new arrivals and send an unambiguous signal that the border is being secured.

Right, the only humane thing to do to a child who has survived the hellish journey is to send him on a return trip back through the robbers, rapists and murderers, so that he can spread the word back in his hometown that our borders are secure, goddammit!

Although the president initially talked tough on border enforcement, his political advisers apparently recommended that he toss the “hot potato” to congressional Republicans.

 Wait, are you saying that he expects Republican legislators to legislate? He actually thinks that lawmakers should make laws? No, clearly he is completely derelict in his duties by not acting unilaterally so that John Boehner can then sue him for acting unilaterally.



https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/2932788736/h74B84467/ 



However, securing the border is the responsibility of the president, not the Congress. And, the president does not need new authority to get a handle on this crisis by sending an unambiguous message that illegal crossings will be stopped, most new arrivals will be turned around, and a sweeping unilateral “amnesty” is off the table.

Okay, let me see if I got this. Border enforcement is the purview of the Executive Branch. And the executive decides how to execute the laws. And it is up to him to decide  whether to show basic human decency by taking in child refugees or to turn them around, give them a swift kick in the pants and say "sorry, kid. Try not to get murdered on the way back!" That's up to him right? Then how about you shut the fuck up and let him do his job? When you're the president, you can decide how to execute the laws of the land. Until then, the guy who is President is going to have to do that. And the fact that you don't like it isn't all that relevant. You want a more cruel border policy? Win an election. Find a candidate who isn't batshit insane, unctously corrupt or both and try to win an election. Until then, just get out of the way and let the grownups handle this.


http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/500x/24954329.jpg