What Time Zone is La In? The 19th Century?

Interracial Couple Denied Marriage License in Louisiana

When I saw this headline, I just assumed that the Justice of the peace was going to at least try to claim that race was not the reason that he refused to marry this couple.
But no. This is Louisiana, and apparently over there, it's still perfectly acceptable to say "of course I ain't gonna marry no race-mixin' couple."

Keith Bardwell, justice of the peace in Tangipahoa Parish, says it is his experience that most interracial marriages do not last long.

Of course, neither do most same-race marriages, but why dwell on the little details?

"I don't do interracial marriages because I don't want to put children in a situation they didn't bring on themselves," Bardwell said. "In my heart, I feel the children will later suffer."

Oh, the suffering!

"I'm not a racist. I just don't believe in mixing the races that way," Bardwell told the Associated Press on Thursday. "I have piles and piles of black friends. They come to my home, I marry them, they use my bathroom. I treat them just like everyone else."

I think it's safe to say that the phrase "I'm not a racist. . ." has never been spoken by anyone who is not a racist.
Just like "Hey, I take care of my kids" has never been spoken by anyone who is actually taking care of his kids. (one of the many things I've learned from watching Judge Judy)

And " I have a twisted / sick sense of humor" has never been spoken by anyone with a sick or twisted sense of humor. Here's a hint. If you have a sick sense of humor, other people will tell you you have a sick sense of humor. And you will not believe them, you will think that your sense of humor is perfectly normal. I have known a couple of people with sick senses of humor, and when someone says to them "dude, that's just wrong," they always respond "What? Come on, that's funny!" See, twisted people don't know that they are twisted. Crazy people don't know that they are crazy. That's why "I'm crazy!" has neber been spoken by a crazy person. Crazy people think that they are sane. They really believe that the CIA is putting messages in their heads, or that they have been abducted by aliens, or that Glenn Beck is making sense.

But I digress.

Hey, Keith Bardwell. If you keep black people in piles, they're probably not really your friends. I have to think they would probably resent you for piling them up. And if you think that we're supposed to be impressed that you let the colored folk use your bathroom, then I have to think that yeah, yeah you are a racist.

Meghan McCain

So apparently Meghan McCain posted this picture of herself on the Twitter:

Which somehow created a firestorm of Twitter comments or something, I don't know.

Her relaxing evening turned into a wild night when some of her over 60,000 followers started to taunt the political scion.
One commenter tweeted “you don’t have to pull cheap gags like this to get attention. Leave this to the Paris Hiltons of the world,” according to Entertainment Weekly.

So, yeah there are at least Sixty-THOUSAND people who are following Meghan McCain's Twitter feed. At least 60,000 people who spend a portion of their day thinking I wonder what Meghan McCain's up to?"
And over Sixty-Thousand of these people took time out of their busy day to let her know that they disapproved of her bosoms.

But the really sad part is that Ms Mccain felt the need to apologize:

"I do want to apologize to anyone that was offended by my twitpic," she said before signing off. "I have clearly made a huge mistake and am sorry 2 those that are offended."

Honestly, in this day and age, who could possibly be offended by that picture? Oh No! You can see some cleavage! Hide the children! Jeez! Ladies have boobies. Get over it.

AQ Ministries

(source)

Just as a precaution

I'm thinking maybe this guy shouldn't be around kids.


Yeah. . . . that would probably be for the best.

You're Invited to a Book Burning!

The "Amazing Grace Baptist Church" is hosting a good old fashioned book burning this Halloween! According to their website, they will be burning, among other tomes,

Satan's Bibles!!!!!

Okay, I would assume they would mean this:
right?



No, not really.


According to the church's weirdo-beardo pastor, these devil bibles include the NIV, RSV, NKJV, wait aminute, aren't those. . .hold on, let me check something. . . .














Yeah, those are actual Bibles. The New International Version and the Revised Standard Version. I'm not real up to date with Baptist theology, but I don't think there's any denomination where burning Bibles is really considered to be a good idea. What is their beef with these Bibles?

Pastor Marc Grizzard told Asheville TV station WLOS that the King James version of the Bible is the only one his small western North Carolina church follows. He says all other versions, such as the Living Bible, are "satanic" and "perversions" of God's word.

Ah, of course. Only the King James version is the authentic one, because as we all know, Jesus was born in England during the 17th Century and spoke with a very posh, sophisticated British accent. What the hell? I could see if you only trusted some text that was hand written by Jesus himself in ancient Hebrew, but why the King James? I doubt that King James ever met Jesus, what with the centuries between them and England not being Israel and what not.

According to the church’s Web site, members will also burn “Satan's music . . ."

I assume you mean Heavy Metal!!!!

No, not exactly.

“Satan's music such as country, rap, rock, pop, heavy metal, western, soft and easy, southern gospel, contemporary Christian, jazz, soul (and) oldies."

Wow! So pretty much everything but Bach Cantatas and Georg Philipp Telemann! (look him up on the interwebs, kids!)
Although I will say that the "Contemporary Christian" music that I've heard does sound as if it might be the work of the Devil.

“We will also be burning Satan's popular books
written by heretics. . . ."

Heretics like Richard Dawkins and Christopher Hitchens?

No, not really.

". . . . heretics like Billy Graham, Rick Warren, Bill Hybels, John McArthur, James Dobson, Charles Swindoll, John Piper, Chuck Colson, Tony Evans, Oral Roberts, Jimmy Swagart, Mark Driskol, Franklin Graham, Bill Bright, Tim Lahaye, Paula White, T.D. Jakes, Benny Hinn, Joyce Myers, Brian McLaren,
Robert Schuller, Mother Teresa,
The Pope. . . "

Mother Teresa! That bitch!

Who the hell is this nut?

Apparently, this is the same minister who recently released a list of athletes who are bound for HELL!!!
The Amazing Grace Baptist Church released a list of athletes who are going to hell, and the Patriots' quarterback headlines the list. Also on the list:

Richard Petty: "Richard Petty's god is racing, not God Almighty. He teaches that is okay in life to cheat just don't get caught doing it. Is Richard Petty your idol?"

Yes. Yes he is.

Marko Jaric: "Engaged to the Victoria's Secret supermodel (porn magazine) Adriana Lima."

Well, I guess Old Testament God is going to really be mad at the prophet Hosea!

(He married a prostitute.)

(God told him to.)

Joakim Noah: "Has long hair, which is disobedient to the Word of God."

(Watch out, Jesus! That hair is going to get you in big trouble!)

Adam Archuleta: "Engaged to a Playboy Playmate Jennifer Walcott. They have one son. This is called fornication, and we all know what their son is called, the same thing the Bible calls him."

Adam Archuletta? You couldn't find a bigger name with an out of wedlock child? Throw a dart at any NFL team's roster, and you'll probably hit one. Who even knows sho Adam Archuletta is?

And this guy has a following! Scary!