Despicable Idiot Joe "The Plumber" advocates murder

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'Joe the Plumber': 'Put a fence on the damn border and start shooting'

PRESCOTT, Ariz. -- The man nicknamed "Joe the Plumber," during the 2008 presidential campaign told crowds in Prescott the solution to securing the border is putting up a fence and shooting at illegal crossers.

He first made the remarks Friday night at a campaign event for Republican state lawmaker Lori Klein, who is now running for a state House seat in District 1. 

"For years I've said, you know, put a damn fence on the border, going to Mexico and start shooting," Samuel "Joe" Wurzelbacher told a crowd at a fundraising dinner.

 

He reiterated the comments the following day at a "Patriot Rally" with Klein, saying: "I'm running for Congress. How many congressmen or people running for Congress have you heard, put a fence up and start shooting? None? Well you heard it here first. Put troops on the border and start shooting, I bet that solves our immigration problem real quick."

 

Because sneaking in to the country is obviously a capital offense.

Despicable.

Delusions of Grandeur

It's not ridiculous enough that "Joe" the "plumber" is running for Congress, he apparently thinks that the President of the United States (of America!) ought to b able to clear up some time on his schedule to meet with him, because he's so super-important, what with basically being the Snookie of electoral politics and all.

From his sad, stupid little website "Some Crappy Little Bald Guy for Congress or Something"

Dear Mister President:

I stopped by your house the other day because I wanted to talk with you about what's happened since we last met.

Are you serious? Oh, wait. no, you couldn't possibly be. Never mind.

I vividly remember the day you passed through my neighborhood during your 2008 campaign for President. I looked you in the eye and asked how your tax plan would affect a business I was going to buy.

Which I ended up deciding not to buy because it turns out you need money to buy things.

Ultimately, after describing a complicated tax scheme that seemed to require jumping through hoops to avoid being punished for success, you finished by saying that "when you spread the wealth around, it’s good for everybody". Surely you remember that, don't you?

Um, yeah. . . just because you don't understand something doesn't mean it's complicated. For instance, the difference between an important person and a pseudo-plumber who got famous for being used as a convenient political prop by a desperate candidate isn't all that complicated. Just ask a smart person.

In the time since we first met, a lot of folks have lost their job while you got the one for which you were applying. Funny how that worked out: millions of folks out here are living the nightmare of broken dreams, lost livelihoods, and crushing unemployment under your watch while you enjoy the perks of your new job being President of the greatest country on earth.

And those two things are related how? If the Prez stopped enjoying the "perks" would that help create more jobs? Also, a lot of people lost their jobs since you first met, but an awful lot of them lost jobs between the time you met and the time President Obama took office. I shouldn't have to explain to you that those job losses really can't be laid at his doorstep.

It must be nice to get lavish vacations in exotic places for you and your family, playing unending rounds of golf at the world’s best country clubs while most of us Americans are just happy to be able to pay our bills.

If only he would play at the municipal golf course, all our problems would be solved! Oh, wait. A municipal golf course? SOCIALISM!!!

 Your burdensome and punishing regulations made sure that job-creating small businesses suffer like never before.

Okay, I'm calling "name one!" on this bull. Name one regulation enacted by the Obama Administration that is causing businesses to suffer. Go ahead, name one. *crickets*

And yet, through it all, your friends, bundlers, and campaign contributors seem to be doing just fine. Thanks to your "spread the wealth" message, we’ve got people "occupying" legitimate businesses and industries, terrorizing the children of business leaders in their own homes, and calling for government control of everything and everybody. 

You know, it's hard to tell if you're really this stunningly ignorant, or just completely dishonest. You do know that the Occupiers have been very clear about their dislike for Obama's economic policies, right? And it's a little tough to sell the idea that they are calling for government control of everything when the conventional wisdom on the OWS is "no one knows what they want," and "they have no clear message," and "what the heck are their demands?"
Also, you're surprised that the super-wealthy campaign donor class isn't suffering? Really?

Mister President, I think it's time you and I continued our conversation.
I tried early and late, but you weren't home and I couldn't find anyone to take a message. 

Yeah, maybe a little busy being the leader of the free world?

Perhaps you had a good score at the golf course today? Any luck getting more campaign donations? I'm sure that's taking up a lot of your energy.

Ooh, good point! Barack Obama is the only politician who has to spend time soliciting for campaign donations! Zing! Why can't he just get his little daughters to make campaign signs with color crayons and poster board like he was running for student council?

By the way... you may have heard I am running for Congress in the OH-9 district.
 I'm going to win. 

 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh, sorry. Go ahead.

I'm going to win. Maybe you can stop by my office when you and your family visit DC and I’ll show you around my new digs. We can finish that chat then.

 

Joe The Plumber Gets His Own Show

It's called "Whaddya Know, Joe?" which means it should be a bout three seconds of Joe shrugging and mumbling "not much," but even the trailer lasts way longer than anyone should have to sit through this assclown trying to seem clever.


I can't tell from the trailer if this show is actually going to be on any TV stations, it looks like it will probably be an internet "show."

Also, isn't "whaddya know, Joe?" a line that Asian prostitutes use to solicit American GI's? Except they say it with more dignity.

How much Dumber can Steve King (R-IA) Get?

At the recent "Taking Back America" clusterfuck of misinformed nut sacks, Representatives Steve King and Tom Price apparently set out to prove that Iowa has the nation's dumbest Congressional delegation. And how would they do that? How could they pull ahead of Minnesota's combination of Michele Bachmann and whoever else they have? (honestly, they could have Steven Hawking and the faculty of Harvard, and Bachmann would still pull the average down into the cellar)

Well, the two of them got together and presented an award.

To Joe the Plumber.

Joe.

The Plumber.

Apparently, the award (pictured here) was the "Golden Pipe Wrench."

I haven't been able to figure out what the award is for, but I have to assume it's for something like "most ignorant horse's ass" or something like that.

Now if it were anyone but Steve King, I would be tempted to think that the Golden Pipe wrench was kind of a snide, passive-aggressive way of saying "stick to plumbing, and let the grownups discuss politics," but no, I'm pretty sure this award was given sincerely.

Instead of the "Golden Pipe Wrench," here are five plumbing-themed awards that I think would be more appropriate for Joe:






5) The Platinum Plunger


















4) The Lead Nipple













3) The Silver Toilet Snake






















2) The Copper Flush Lever












And the Number one most appropriate plumbing-themed award for Joe the Plumber is...
(and who didn't see this coming?)





The GOLDEN SHOWER!

Joe The Plumber

Apparently, there are some people not familiar with the principle of "ignore him and he'll go away." And some of those people work for a publication called "Christianity Today."

Since ol' Joe has proven to be such a font of wisdom when it comes to politics, someone over at C.T. figured, hey, I'll bet he's just as super-awesomely smart about theology! Let's ask Joe the Fucktard Plumber to interpret the Word of the Lord for us!

So, let's look at some excerpts from the interview, shall we?

In the last month, same-sex marriage has become legal in Iowa and Vermont. What do you think about same-sex marriage at a state level?

I personally still think it’s wrong. People don’t understand the dictionary—it’s called queer. Queer means strange and unusual.

Ah, I see. And what does ignorant, mouthbreathing redneck mean?

I've had some friends that are actually homosexual. And, I mean, they know where I stand, and they know that I wouldn’t have them anywhere near my children. But at the same time, they’re people, and they’re going to do their thing.

Yeah, some people don't understand the dictionary. Like some people don't understand that the word "friend" doesn't refer to someone who knows you wouldn't have them anywhere near your children.

Who do you see as the emerging Christian leaders?

James Dobson. I love Dobson.

Ok, do you know what the word "emerging" means? James Dobson is Seventy-Three Years Old! He just stepped down as chairman of "Focus on the Family," the organization he founded in 1977! Dobson is an emerging leader? Wow! Even for you, that's stunningly ignorant!
Why does conservatism appeal to you as a Christian? Conservatism is about the basic rights of individuals. God created us.

Um, what do those two factoids have to do with each other? Can you elucidate a bit?

As far as the government goes, the Founding Fathers based the Constitution off of Christian values. It goes hand-in-hand. As far as the Republican Party? I felt connected to it because individual freedom should not be legislated by the federal government.

Now I'm even more confused. The government should not be legislating individual freedom? I can't even tell if that makes you pro- or anti-freedom!

Do you have plans to run for public office?

Not right now. God hasn't said, "Joe, I want you to run."

Yeah, and He won't. Really. There's an old expression: If you talk to God, that's prayer. If God talks to you, that's schizophrenia.

God said, "Well, you know, listen—I set you on a path, and go to it. See what you can do."

Really? God gave you the most vague instructions anyone has ever given to anyone? And God says, "Well, you know" ? Really? God talks like W? I don't think that's God you're hearing.

I feel more important to just encourage people to get involved, one way or another. If I can inspire some leaders, that would be great. I don't know if I want to be a leader.

God Forbid!

Joe the Plumber

The most ignorant ass-clown to emerge from the last election cycle has somehow gotten another extension on his 15 minutes of fame. He has "written" a book which has somehow been published.
This makes no sense, unless the title of the book was "How to Achieve Unwarranted Fame through Unrelenting Douchebaggery."
But no, it is entitled "Something, Something American dream by some Ghostwriter."

Let me get this straight "Joe," if that is your real name, which it isn't, you stumble into a microphone, ask a spectacularly uninformed question, and now you're some kind of spokesman for conservatives? I know a lot of conservatives, and frankly, you don't represent them. Most of them are reasonable, intelligent people who aren't tax cheats (in other words, the opposite of you.) So now you are a part of the Republican Party's devolution from the party of these guys:




To the Party of these Stooges:

Great Work, Moron!



UPDATE:
11 entire people show up to see Joe at Borders. (Most were just in the store anyway and thought theyd'd stick around and watch the train wreck) --Link--http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/02/26/AR2009022600005.html