An Excerpt from "Going Rogue"

Here is an excerpt from Sarah Palin's upcoming book which she totally wrote all by herself!

(from Wonkette)

I have to assume this conversation is heavily edited. I imagine the real conversation went something like this. . . . .

Sarah: I'm not a quitter, Track. That's why I have to quit.

Track: I'm going to pray for you, mom. I'm going to pray that someone teaches you the definition of the word "quit."

Sarah: Fast about it for a day.

Track: Hey, you're the one who's quitting a job she took an oath to complete, why the fuck should I be punished?

Sarah: Okay, forget fasting food. fast from cussing for a day then.

Track: How about I fast from having a normal person's name for the next, um, my whole fucking life? How would that be?

Sarah: I'm a maverick!

Track: Yeah, yeah, I know. You're a maverick, mom. How about you quit on this phone call halfway through?

And scene.

I can't imagine how someone hasn't taken sarah aside and told her to top telling the quitting story. Her agent, her publisher, her handlers, someone's gotta tell her that quitting to prove that your not a quitter doesn't really make you look all that smart. Or sane. Or not an idiot.

Also, how does her editor not do something about the phrase "fasting food?"
One can not fast food. The verb to fast doesn't work that way. It's what you call an intransitive verb. It doesn't take an object, except in the very unusual usage of making someone fast as in: to fast a patient for a day before surgery. (dictionary.com)

I think what she means to say is "refrain from," as in "refrain from cussing for a day." But at any rate, "fasting food" really makes no sense. At least "fast from cussing" sort of makes sense although it is incorrect, as Merriam Webster defines "fast" as: 1 : to abstain from food 2 : to eat sparingly or abstain from some foods.

Seriously, most of us learned this shit in high school.

The Worst Non-Profits

The Worst Non-Profit organizations to which to donate your money:



The American Befuddlement Society.

The March of Dime Bags.

Rabid Cats for Humanity.

Project Open Handed Slap to the Face.

The Salvation Navy

The Boys and Girls Pubs of America.

The Bake a Fish Foundation.

Doctors Without Barnes & Noble.

Friends of Roman Polanski

The Apathy Fund

St. Jude Law Children's Hospital.

And the Number One Worst Non-Profit:


SarahPAC.

This Is Getting Creepy

So, first of all, here's what you need to know about the comic strip character Luann DeGroot:
(courtesy of Knight Features)

About Luann

---

Get hooked on the life of this sixteen year-old girl.

Okay, she's sixteen. The other kids in this series of panels are her classmates, so it's safe to assume that they are also 16, or possibly 17, maybe 15, I don't know. The point is they're sixteen years old.

Okay? So here we go.

So these 16-year old girls seem to be saying that their idea of "service" is to go down to Walter Reed as eye candy for wounded soldiers. That can't really be what they mean, right?

Ok, yeah that is the plan. Go down to the hospital and get ogled at by GI's. And to be sure we don't misunderstand, they make a point of explaining the plan to school bimbo Tiffany. Surely when they get to the hospital, the first responsible adult they run into will explain that this is completely inappropriate, right?

Yeah, not so much. This doctor or administrator or whatever is all too ready and eager to toss these girls into the soldiers' rooms, adding "don't be shy!"





And the wounded veteran is portrayed as ready and eager for a little statutory rape. Unless this strip takes place in a state wherein the age of consent is 16, then it's just wildly inappropriate. And creepy. Although not as creepy as the way Tiffany is drawn, jutting her low-cut top out at the soldier.

Although this is not the first time the strip's author Greg Evans has displayed Tiffany in a far-too-suggestive way.

At least in this series, the school principal is there to act as the responsible adult and tries to get Tiffany to show some self-respect.

Anyway, back to the hospital.

Don't think that I didn't get your little double entendre there, Delta. I know your follow-up line is "morale isn't the only thing that just went up!"


God, even the orderly comes in to leer at sixteen-year-old Tiffany! I think this is supposed to be a heartwarming story of kids who selflessly decide to volunteer their time to help others, but honestly it just creeps me out.

Luann needs some cheering up in the last panel. Don't worry Luann, today is Tiffany's turn to be treated like a sex object, you had your turn earlier. Remember?

Yes Luann, you are! In the world of Luann, high-school girls working as escorts is a rich vein of family-friendly humor.
But don't take my word for it, here's more from Knight Features:

Readers of all ages love Luann, the exciting comic strip by Greg Evans that brings to life the daily drama of being a young woman.

And who has more insight into what life is like for a young woman than this guy?
Evans is also applauded for touching on the real issues that teens face -- from puberty and unrequited love to peer pressure, drugs and alcohol.

And prostitution!

In all storylines, Evans holds Luann up as a fine example of the positive power cartoons can have.

Yeah, not all storylines.

Okay, Can We Please Stop Having This Woman on TV?

A couple of things stand out in this video.

1- I think I understand now why Carrie Prejean thinks that conservative women are being attacked, or harassed or whatever. She seems to feel that a reporter asking any question other than something designed to pimp her book is a completely inappropriate attack. There seem to be a lot of these types on the right, especially the religious right, these people who think that if you aren't in complete agreement with their agenda, you're attacking them.
When you have this mindset, and you hear a reporter say "you know, Sarah Palin is wrong about the death panels, there actually are no death panels," I guess to you it sounds like "Sarah Palin should be drawn and quartered, her village burned down and slaves made of her children."

2- She can't even storm off a set properly. She takes off the mic and the earpiece, then just sits there with those glazed-over eyes and that empty-headed cult-recruiter smile, just sitting in an empty room. She could take a lesson from Tom Tancredo.



Now that's a man who knows how to storm off a set!

3- Why doesn't Larry King show the same journalistic instinct when Ms Prejean makes the ridiculous statement that Billo or Hannity would be thrown off the air for insulting a liberal woman? Why doesn't he call bullshit on her right then? Why does she just get to go on show after show and just lie? She can just pretend that Hannity, O'Reilly, et al, haven't repeatedly libeled Hilary Clinton? No one calls her on this? But refusing to talk about the lawsuit, that get's Larry's tenacity going? The thing no one cares about? Look, Larry, I know you're not exactly trying to do hard-hitting journalism here, but good god! You're not working for FOX!

So please, everyone in the Television industry, let's stop putting this ridiculous woman on the air. I would really be pleased to never see or hear from her again.

Good Riddance!

NEW YORK – Longtime CNN host Lou Dobbs shocked his viewers Wednesday by announcing that he would be leaving the network effective immediately.

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How long before he starts working for FOX?